• Michael6 posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    I’m posting to reach out for support. I’m nursing another bloody hangover today. Sitting here depressed and very upset as my ex just wrote to me saying my 12 year old Son feels he is better off not seeing me. I’m gutted and in a panic. I love him so much. But I can see it’s all down to the monster that is alcoholism. This terrible thing really does remove everything that is special. My big Sister died recently unexpectedly. Her funeral was a couple of weeks ago (not alcohol related) so I feel that I have now lost my Sister and my Son. But I hear he is doing well, which is good. I don’t think I accepted the fact that he would want to stop seeing me if I kept drinking. I was always sober on our days together. But I obviously let him down one too many times. This has to be a wake up call. My partner is just about hanging on. But I have to accept that I could lose her too. I hope and pray that I can get out of this nightmare and say no the next time the monster comes knocking and lying that it would be a good idea to drink. It never ever is for me. It has taken so much. I don’t want to lose anything else. Hopefully I will see my boy some time in the future. I’m so sad 😞.

    • It’s great that you are reaching out to this community for support. I’m only 3 weeks in, but I’m so happy I have done it and I know you can, too. I was also letting my spouse and kids down, repeatedly. I kept trying to stop for them, because I knew it was the right thing to do. What finally switched me from knowing that I needed to, to honestly feeling that I wanted to was listening to podcasts that hit what I needed to hear at certain times, reading books that gave me a better understanding of what the poison alcohol really does to us, and reaching out daily to this amazing community. There are so many people here that are in all stages of stopping drinking and we all help each other out. Give it a try…you honestly will feel so much better and it’ll give you the ability to regain the relationship with your son. Reach out to share you successes, vent your frustrations, and ask for support when you’re craving. Here are some podcasts and books that I’ve read that have helped me so far: podcasts Alcohol Free Life by Janey Lee Grace and the Bubble Hour, books Alcohol Explained and This Naked Mind. Hang in there. Hugs!!!

      • Thank you

        • Two other podcasts that I haven’t had a chance to listen to, but have been recommended are Recovery Elevator and Soberful.

      • Hi @Michael6 everything @jmtn has just posted is exactly the same as me I’m 3 weeks in and I really needed to get sober. I was always a mess but a functioning mess, my family suffered but mostly I did to. This Naked Mind has totally switched how I look at alcohol now it is nothing but poison.. in 3 weeks my life has changed I’m fair happier .. You can do this.. vent on here as much as you like we all have bad days but there is not one problem a drink will solve believe me… x

      • @jmtn has it right – there are all the exact things I did to finally commit to getting AF. And so far it’s working. Every time I’m really craving, I come on here and read, read, read. It really helps.

    • Have you had a look at all the extra material on the website (apart from this amazing members feed), as there is a load of ideas on playing it forward, what to read, how to occupy your time – planning to look out for your triggers so when your monster comes knocking you don’t let them in. While you are not drinking try writing a list of what is likely to make you want to drink, so you can come up with some ideas of what to do at that time instead of drinking. I’m day 415 today, but I had many, many day 1s.

    • I’m sorry to hear it’s all so awful. Please, as the mum of a son who told his dad to go away and leave him alone at age 14, can I encourage you to keep fighting for him. My sons dad took it personally and just what the kid said. That son is now 19 and feels utterly rejected. And a text on a birthday means very little.
      Please please please remember you are the parent, and that boy is waiting to see what you are going to do.
      Choose him, choose to fight for him and prove to him how much you love him.
      It’s all there inside of you, and with help and support you can do this one day at a time.
      We are all with you xo

      • Wise words @seizetheday

      • Thank you so much. I needed to hear that. My son will be 13 next Month. I write to him and send him cards and he doesn’t reply. But I will continue to do so. What he needs is a sober Dad who always turns up when he expects me. That I will work on.

        • Keep going @Michael6 he’s only 13 and he will grow and change. Right now he might be angry, but over time he can learn that you will always be there for him. And from time to time send him a new school bag or hoodie (make sure they’re cool haha). Things that you would do if he was under your roof. Underneath it all he needs you, there is no replacement for you in his life xo

        • Yes, never stop giving and giving, demanding nothing, and you will win him back. He needs to see you really mean it and put your all into getting free and well.
          You can do it, just read the stories here!!!

Living Sober by NZ Drug Foundation is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. Built with love by Bamboo Creative and powered by Flywheel. 2019.

Forgot your details?

Create Account