• Mend posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 41 minutes ago

    Don’t think about 4months. Just do one day, then another, then another. Once you get that shit out of your system it will get easier!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 2 days, 4 hours ago

    Missing out sucks.
    Feeling like the odd one out sucks.
    Social anxiety is awful.
    But…..NONE of these things are as bad as waking up hungover and having to work all day hungover and feeling like utter misery.
    RIGHT ON!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I’ve missed your regular updates @mari135……glad you are back!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Sorry I read that wrong. Hang in there……i hope things get easier soon!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    From your previous post, it sounds like lack of sleep and night shifts are the problem @truthangel. I agree with @stevef…..sobriety is not the problem. Things would actually be harder with alcohol. Take care of yourself!

    • I’m not blaming being sober. It’s too important. It’s the night shifts and I’ve given my notice. It’s life that’s got too hard and alcohol would only make things worse. Sober is the only thing I have going for me.

    • Mend replied 2 weeks ago

      Sorry I read that wrong. Hang in there……i hope things get easier soon!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    “My ability to resist walking that path this depends on being completely convinced of three things… it is possible to stop drinking, it is necessary to stop drinking, and that stopping drinking is worthwhile”………….amen. Thanks for that

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hang in there @deester. At least you aren’t drinking which, in the end will only make you feel sadder and more lonely. Google Post alcohol withdrawal syndrome (PAWS)…..sounds like that might be happening to you. And do something nice for yourself today….you deserve it!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    “…….I’m just not having it as it has proven to be worthless to me time and time again”. Right on!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey @Bobby, hang in there. If you drink, you will still be struggling tomorrow when you wake up. If you stay strong, tomorrow will be a better day. You can do this. Alcohol will give you nothing long lasting. For now, grab a cold AF drink and so something to distract yourself. You can do this!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @mari135, I believe the appropriate word here is “Legend”! Congrats on your massive achievement and thank you for your huge contributions to this site. Always look forward to your posts in the morning.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hey @parky, have you tried reading Jason vale’s book or this naked mind? They are great for retraining your mind to see alcohol in a different light. The 30 day alcohol experiment is also a great tool. For me, I’ve been back and forth with sobriety man6 times and I sympathize with trying to recapture the feeling of being resolved not to drink. For me, what has helped is demonizing alcohol. Every time I think “a drink would be nice” I think “there’s that little shit alcohol trying to ruin my life again”. Get mad at it, call it names…..seems to help and it’s not berating yourself which is something I used to do.

    • Thanks @mend I will try that, it’s how I feel at heart, that’s it is.shit and ruining my life. My partner drinks about the same as I do but doesn’t experience those feelings of shame or regret. He’s on holiday right now so is more inclined to drink..
      I’ll have to give Jason & Annie another go. I borrowed them from the library as ebook and audiobook respectively, because I don’t want my kids to see me reading them, but I didn’t enjoy either format..

      • True @tipsytoegal, I did see a big change with my sinus/allergy issues in my period of sobriety. I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t lose weight! Since then, I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked, trying to work on my diet and procrastination issues but not making huge headway there, either. Need to put alcohol back as the #1 issue..

  • Mend posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Hey @tom4500, how’s the solo time going?

    • Sandy got back into town yesterday afternoon. I’ve been super busy with tax returns, so my mind has kept occupied. I did get to the club 8PM Thursday night for a pool league matchup, that was a nice little diversion. And I’m MSU Spartan alumni, so basketball is entertaining me as well. Those little triggers I feel when Sandy leaves are more of a curiosity to me than anything else. Whether its a situation or a trigger or a celebration or whatever, I can’t drink. That’s they way it is, and that’s the way its going to be, and if it’s a pain, tough. I’m happy with my being AF, I really am.

    • Oh but thanks for asking, Mend. Forgot to say that. Commotion here in the office.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    You’ll be fine @tom4500……..just remember your 2 rules of sobriety (which have helped me a lot, Thank you!)

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Living Sober……is better

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sorry it’s tough right now @tim and that your family doesn’t offer/give you any support. One thing for sure……neither will alcohol. Oh it will pretend it’s your best friend but you know it will leave you feeling worse than you do now. Stay strong and this will pass. Do something good for yourself and or someone else. You can ride this out. Sending you strength.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sober vacations are awesome…….once again alcohol is lying to you that you need to drink to enjoy your week in the country. I’ve vacationed drunk and I’ve vacationed sober. Sober is better. Read Miss Freedoms posts about vacationing in Martinique……quite inspiring. Look at it this way, if you are like me, most vacations in your adult life have been with alcohol. So why not try one without? It’s only one vacation. Sure there will be moments that are hard but when you come back home, I guarantee you won’t be sorry you did your vacation sober. Good luck!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    If you used to drink enough to cause the problems you described then I would bet moderation wil be a struggle. And when all is said and done, alcohol is a terrible party companion and will add nothing to your evening. Why risk “feeling so much better” for such a manipulative little shit like alcohol. Guaranteed it won’t deliver on all those promises it’s currently making in your head about how much more fun the event will be if you drink.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    your husband is being selfish and I’m sorry he’s put you in this position. However, I doubt you are the only alcoholic at your work place but you might be the only one 30 days sober! Use this as motivation to never drink again. If confronted by the higher ups, tell them The truth…..you are sober and are never going to drink again. Motivation sometimes come from strange places and you can use this unfortunate situation to increase your resolve. And for sure picking up a drink is the exact opposite of what’s needed now. You got this!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Great news @Mari135!! And good job escorting the witch to the sparkling water aisle!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Holding you in the light this morning @mari135. Hope the biopsy goes off without a hitch and you receive good news quickly. Take care of yoursellf!

    • Thanks so very much, Mend! xoxo I soaked up all of the replies here while I was in the waiting area before the procedure. oxox Thanks for your kindness.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    You can definitely be a part of it @startingagain because you already are. Try Annie Grace’s 30 day alcohol experiment https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration. Report here as you go and before you know it you’ll have a few days under your belt and will see that it’s possible. Everyone here is pulling for you…..you can do this!

  • Mend posted an update 5 months ago

    Thinking of you and Sandy @Tom4500. Hope the procedure went well and that you get news back quickly.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Nice! EVolving is way better than guilt or even shame. Thanks for the perspective!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Yes there will be hard days/feelings but there will be many more days/feelings like the ones you are experiencing now. Well done on day 2!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    I am so sorry your wife is ill @Nigel. Allen Carr (easy way to stop drinking); any grace (this naked mind) and Jason vale (kick the drink) are all great reads that have helped me a lot. But most of all, @tom4500 ‘s 2 rules of sobriety; rule 1-don’t pick up a glass and rule 2 – never break rule 1. You can do this, your wife needs you and we are here to support you. Hang in there.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sorry for your loss @gilligan5323. Sounds like you were a good friend too and that you had a good relationship. Take especially good care of yourself these days…..

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey @lt18. Don’t beat yourself up. 99.9% of the people who give up alcohol have had multiple slips and relapses. The important thing is to start again. Perhaps Anni Grace’s 30 alcohol experiment would help? Made a difference for me.

    https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Hey @jayroc1981. Google up Annie Grace’s 30 day alcohol experiment. It’s wonderful and many here have used it to help them get sober. You can do this. Alcohol is powerful stuff but you are stronger. Do the 30 day experiment, it will help you understand the truth about alcohol and why it’s so hard to give up. Again YOU CAN DO THIS!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    I’m really sorry @Chardano. Not easy loosing friends and loved ones, especially when they are so young. Life is precious indeed and i agree that enjoying the little things is the key. Take extra good care of yourself these days, you’ve been through a lot lately. Enjoy the daylight!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 8 months, 4 weeks ago

    You are a good man @Thor. My wife lost a sister and I’ve lost a brother. @Morgan is right…..it’s not about about moving on. However the hole in our heart a loved one leaves does become more manageable with time. Lots of love, care and compassion from those close to you make that possible and you are giving that to Mrs Thor. Peace and healing to you both.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Count me in @Buckeyeone.

  • Mend posted an update 10 months ago

    Hey @wvlheel. Thinking of you and your family as Florence makes land fall. Hope you are all safe and doing ok.

    • Mend, thanks so much for the shoutout to @wvlheel. I’ll add my thoughts and send lots of love down to the South East coast. oxoxox Whenever you can, please stop by to let us know how you and your family are doing down there. oxoxoxo

    • ditto to all our loved LS and families.

  • Mend posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Love Rick Hanson and this post was particularly great.

    Do you got to?
    The Practice:
    Enjoy The Freedom Not To.

    Why?

    We’re pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, including emotional reactions, compelling desires, “shoulds,” and internalized “voices” from parents and other authority figures.
    Sometimes these pressures are necessary, like a flashing light on your car’s dashboard telling you to get gas. Even a broken clock is right two times a day.
    But on the whole these pressures are stressful and breed a sense of helplessness. Plus, a lot of the internal forces come from childhood, irrational fears, unfair self-criticism, ancient tendencies in the brain (e.g., its negativity bias), or the darker corners of human nature; acting out these forces is bad for us and others.
    Giving oneself over to these pressures is un-free, like being a puppet tugged by many strings. It’s the opposite of well-being to be “hijacked,” “obsessed,” “addicted,” “plugged in,” or “compelled” – which all imply mental servitude if not slavery.
    On the other hand, a sense of inner freedom is a hallmark of emotional healing, mental health, self-actualization, and the upper reaches of human potential. For example, a common term for enlightenment is “liberation.”
    In plain English, we all know what it feels like to be pushed around . . . and what it feels like to have choices and be autonomous.
    So, lately I’ve been softly saying this phrase in my mind – the freedom not to –and seeing what happens. And what’s been happening is great. A feeling of ease, of room to breathe, of not needing to jump to some task or to agree or disagree immediately with someone. A sense of shock absorbers between me and my emotional reactions, of not making a mess that I’ve got to clean up later, of not embarrassing myself, of not swapp…[Read more]

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Oh hell yeah!!! So proud of you! Thanks for setting such an amazing example for all of us!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 10 months, 4 weeks ago

    Great post @kitten. Complacency is indeed dangerous…….happened to me multiple times. Don’t let let your guard down and keep it simple. You don’t drink, period. enjoy your day!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 11 months ago

    So sorry Thor. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Travel safe.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 11 months, 1 week ago

    And congrats on 20 days…….awesome!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 11 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @odefeyerabend. Haven’t had that problem myself but I would check with your doc. Lots of commercials these days on solutions…….it’s obviously a fairly common problem. Good luck!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Congrats on day 600 @Tom4500 !!! You are one of the rocks on this site and we are all proud of you!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    Love your posts @Maril35. Thank you

    • oxoxox I am so glad you’re here, Mend!
      Thanks for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    Glad you’re back @Mommapez. Think about how great you’ll feel tomorrow when you wake up and didn’t drink today. One day at a time, don’t pick up a drink and pretty soon you’ (and your husband) will be so proud of you. You got this!

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    ❤️

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    So sorry @chardano. Much love and comfort to you both.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Hang in there. Your anxiety will be so much worse tomorrow if you drink. Play the tape forward……you’ll either wake up tomorrow feeling great and proud you didn’t drink today or pissed and ashamed that you did. Easy choice right? You got this!

  • Mend posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    It’s weird how sometimes the theme of the threads here at LS are happy, sometimes sad and at others just stress. Today seems to be one of those times where things could be going better. So to all of you I offer you my favorite prayer/meditation:
    May you all be happy
    May you all be safe
    May you all be healthy
    May you all be at peace.

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    @mari135 , your post reminded me of this dharma talk I listened to the other day.

    • Ohh thanks heaps for sharing the talk!! I will listen to it Monday first thing. LOVE Gil Fronsdal. My therapist recommended him and his dharma talks.

      oxoxoxoxxo I appreciate it!

  • Mend‘s profile was updated 1 year, 2 months ago

  • Mend‘s profile was updated 1 year, 2 months ago

  • Mend posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Great post @maril35. Been feeling kind of blah myself so I guess we’ll just breathe right on through to more uplifting times. Have a great weekend.

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