Missing out sucks. Feeling like the odd one out sucks. Social anxiety is awful. But…..NONE of these things are as bad as waking up hungover and having to work all day hungover and feeling like utter misery. RIGHT ON!
From your previous post, it sounds like lack of sleep and night shifts are the problem @truthangel. I agree with @stevef…..sobriety is not the problem. Things would actually be harder with alcohol. Take care of yourself!
I’m not blaming being sober. It’s too important. It’s the night shifts and I’ve given my notice. It’s life that’s got too hard and alcohol would only make things worse. Sober is the only thing I have going for me.
“My ability to resist walking that path this depends on being completely convinced of three things… it is possible to stop drinking, it is necessary to stop drinking, and that stopping drinking is worthwhile”………….amen. Thanks for that
Hang in there @deester. At least you aren’t drinking which, in the end will only make you feel sadder and more lonely. Google Post alcohol withdrawal syndrome (PAWS)…..sounds like that might be happening to you. And do something nice for yourself today….you deserve it!
Hey @Bobby, hang in there. If you drink, you will still be struggling tomorrow when you wake up. If you stay strong, tomorrow will be a better day. You can do this. Alcohol will give you nothing long lasting. For now, grab a cold AF drink and so something to distract yourself. You can do this!
@mari135, I believe the appropriate word here is “Legend”! Congrats on your massive achievement and thank you for your huge contributions to this site. Always look forward to your posts in the morning.
Hey @parky, have you tried reading Jason vale’s book or this naked mind? They are great for retraining your mind to see alcohol in a different light. The 30 day alcohol experiment is also a great tool. For me, I’ve been back and forth with sobriety man6 times and I sympathize with trying to recapture the feeling of being resolved not to drink. For me, what has helped is demonizing alcohol. Every time I think “a drink would be nice” I think “there’s that little shit alcohol trying to ruin my life again”. Get mad at it, call it names…..seems to help and it’s not berating yourself which is something I used to do.
Thanks @mend I will try that, it’s how I feel at heart, that’s it is.shit and ruining my life. My partner drinks about the same as I do but doesn’t experience those feelings of shame or regret. He’s on holiday right now so is more inclined to drink.. I’ll have to give Jason & Annie another go. I borrowed them from the library as ebook and audiobook respectively, because I don’t want my kids to see me reading them, but I didn’t enjoy either format..
True @tipsytoegal, I did see a big change with my sinus/allergy issues in my period of sobriety. I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t lose weight! Since then, I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked, trying to work on my diet and procrastination issues but not making huge headway there, either. Need to put alcohol back as the #1 issue..
Sandy got back into town yesterday afternoon. I’ve been super busy with tax returns, so my mind has kept occupied. I did get to the club 8PM Thursday night for a pool league matchup, that was a nice little diversion. And I’m MSU Spartan alumni, so basketball is entertaining me as well. Those little triggers I feel when Sandy leaves are more of a curiosity to me than anything else. Whether its a situation or a trigger or a celebration or whatever, I can’t drink. That’s they way it is, and that’s the way its going to be, and if it’s a pain, tough. I’m happy with my being AF, I really am.
Sorry it’s tough right now @tim and that your family doesn’t offer/give you any support. One thing for sure……neither will alcohol. Oh it will pretend it’s your best friend but you know it will leave you feeling worse than you do now. Stay strong and this will pass. Do something good for yourself and or someone else. You can ride this out. Sending you strength.
Sober vacations are awesome…….once again alcohol is lying to you that you need to drink to enjoy your week in the country. I’ve vacationed drunk and I’ve vacationed sober. Sober is better. Read Miss Freedoms posts about vacationing in Martinique……quite inspiring. Look at it this way, if you are like me, most vacations in your adult life have been with alcohol. So why not try one without? It’s only one vacation. Sure there will be moments that are hard but when you come back home, I guarantee you won’t be sorry you did your vacation sober. Good luck!
If you used to drink enough to cause the problems you described then I would bet moderation wil be a struggle. And when all is said and done, alcohol is a terrible party companion and will add nothing to your evening. Why risk “feeling so much better” for such a manipulative little shit like alcohol. Guaranteed it won’t deliver on all those promises it’s currently making in your head about how much more fun the event will be if you drink.
your husband is being selfish and I’m sorry he’s put you in this position. However, I doubt you are the only alcoholic at your work place but you might be the only one 30 days sober! Use this as motivation to never drink again. If confronted by the higher ups, tell them The truth…..you are sober and are never going to drink again. Motivation sometimes come from strange places and you can use this unfortunate situation to increase your resolve. And for sure picking up a drink is the exact opposite of what’s needed now. You got this!
I am so sorry your wife is ill @Nigel. Allen Carr (easy way to stop drinking); any grace (this naked mind) and Jason vale (kick the drink) are all great reads that have helped me a lot. But most of all, @tom4500 ‘s 2 rules of sobriety; rule 1-don’t pick up a glass and rule 2 – never break rule 1. You can do this, your wife needs you and we are here to support you. Hang in there.
Hey @lt18. Don’t beat yourself up. 99.9% of the people who give up alcohol have had multiple slips and relapses. The important thing is to start again. Perhaps Anni Grace’s 30 alcohol experiment would help? Made a difference for me.
Hey @jayroc1981. Google up Annie Grace’s 30 day alcohol experiment. It’s wonderful and many here have used it to help them get sober. You can do this. Alcohol is powerful stuff but you are stronger. Do the 30 day experiment, it will help you understand the truth about alcohol and why it’s so hard to give up. Again YOU CAN DO THIS!
I’m really sorry @Chardano. Not easy loosing friends and loved ones, especially when they are so young. Life is precious indeed and i agree that enjoying the little things is the key. Take extra good care of yourself these days, you’ve been through a lot lately. Enjoy the daylight!
You are a good man @Thor. My wife lost a sister and I’ve lost a brother. @Morgan is right…..it’s not about about moving on. However the hole in our heart a loved one leaves does become more manageable with time. Lots of love, care and compassion from those close to you make that possible and you are giving that to Mrs Thor. Peace and healing to you both.
Mend, thanks so much for the shoutout to @wvlheel. I’ll add my thoughts and send lots of love down to the South East coast. oxoxox Whenever you can, please stop by to let us know how you and your family are doing down there. oxoxoxo
Love Rick Hanson and this post was particularly great.
Do you got to? The Practice: Enjoy The Freedom Not To.
We’re pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, including emotional reactions, compelling desires, “shoulds,” and internalized “voices” from parents and other authority figures. Sometimes these pressures are necessary, like a flashing light on your car’s dashboard telling you to get gas. Even a broken clock is right two times a day. But on the whole these pressures are stressful and breed a sense of helplessness. Plus, a lot of the internal forces come from childhood, irrational fears, unfair self-criticism, ancient tendencies in the brain (e.g., its negativity bias), or the darker corners of human nature; acting out these forces is bad for us and others. Giving oneself over to these pressures is un-free, like being a puppet tugged by many strings. It’s the opposite of well-being to be “hijacked,” “obsessed,” “addicted,” “plugged in,” or “compelled” – which all imply mental servitude if not slavery. On the other hand, a sense of inner freedom is a hallmark of emotional healing, mental health, self-actualization, and the upper reaches of human potential. For example, a common term for enlightenment is “liberation.” In plain English, we all know what it feels like to be pushed around . . . and what it feels like to have choices and be autonomous. So, lately I’ve been softly saying this phrase in my mind – the freedom not to –and seeing what happens. And what’s been happening is great. A feeling of ease, of room to breathe, of not needing to jump to some task or to agree or disagree immediately with someone. A sense of shock absorbers between me and my emotional reactions, of not making a mess that I’ve got to clean up later, of not embarrassing myself, of not swapp…[Read more]
Glad you’re back @Mommapez. Think about how great you’ll feel tomorrow when you wake up and didn’t drink today. One day at a time, don’t pick up a drink and pretty soon you’ (and your husband) will be so proud of you. You got this!
Hang in there. Your anxiety will be so much worse tomorrow if you drink. Play the tape forward……you’ll either wake up tomorrow feeling great and proud you didn’t drink today or pissed and ashamed that you did. Easy choice right? You got this!
It’s weird how sometimes the theme of the threads here at LS are happy, sometimes sad and at others just stress. Today seems to be one of those times where things could be going better. So to all of you I offer you my favorite prayer/meditation: May you all be happy May you all be safe May you all be healthy May you all be at peace.