• Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    Woo hoo, well done! Got lots of sober strategies in place for day 2? eg favourite AF drinks, exercise, reading, bubble bath. Mixing up your routines/habits and keeping your mind & hands busy is vital. Throw the kitchen sink at this, you will never regret it. Have a great day!

    • @mollyroxanne your 1 day ahead of me. I too have had a bad nights sleep but we made it.

    • Thanks so much for the ideas. I am listening to more of my annie grace audio book but looked at the clock and thought 3pm – it will be wine oclock soon – then immediately jumped on here to make myself accountable.

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    You will learn heaps from both those books. I also did Annie Grace’s ’30 Day Alcohol Experiment’, it’s online & free. Got me through the first 30 days for sure. Highly recommend it

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 3 days, 8 hours ago

    I second that. Miss your quirky updates @tim We are here when you are ready, no matter what

  • Melnz posted an update 3 days, 8 hours ago

    “In the waves of change we find our direction”

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    If you are in NZ you will find it in the soft drink aisle at Countdown. It’s just fizzy water with a hint of flavour (Lime, Grapefruit, Orange, Berry, Watermelon etc), no sugar, no additives etc. $12 for 12 cans. I find most drinks too sweet but this is my favourite AF drink that I take with me everywhere. It’s well known in US & UK so google it if you want to know more

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Wow! A huge congrats on 365, onwards & upwards you really are Stronger Than Ever!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Heineken 0% has been a good option for me and not a trigger at all. I find just one is enough to ease me in to a social scene, it makes me feel full quickly so I then switch to an alternative AF drink (usually LaCroix). Noticing more people drinking it and more restaurants & bars seem to be stocking it in NZ (if they don’t I always suggest they get it in). But, same as @dorothyparker, I was dependent on wine…bubbles, bubbles & more bubbles …beer/spirits don’t hold any allure for me

    • Thanks @Meinz. I havenโ€™t heard of LaCroix. Iโ€™ll look out for it. Have a great day.

      • If you are in NZ you will find it in the soft drink aisle at Countdown. It’s just fizzy water with a hint of flavour (Lime, Grapefruit, Orange, Berry, Watermelon etc), no sugar, no additives etc. $12 for 12 cans. I find most drinks too sweet but this is my favourite AF drink that I take with me everywhere. It’s well known in US & UK so google it if you want to know more

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    I found the Annie Grace ’30 Day Alcohol Experiment’ really helpful & informative, it is free and online, google it

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    A warm welcome, well done on 1 month, awesome! You will find heaps of support & information in this great place. Lots of kiwis but definitely worldwide…which is great as there is always someone here due to the different timezones

    • Thank you, and yes your right about it being good having lot us of different time zones…always someone online

  • Melnz posted an update 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    @embracingsober Good morning…for some reason I can’t reply to yesterday’s post. Just to say thanks for all your support & encouragement, I feel privileged to now know your real name, thank you for sharing! And don’t forget the other coincidence we discovered…that our birthdays are 1 day apart. Here’s to the next 365, maybe in another year we should ask MrsD for each other’s email address…I would like our special connection & support for one another to continue well into the future. Have an awesome day xx

    • Absolutely! I’m keen for that ๐Ÿ™‚ and more than happy for @Mrs D to pass on my email address to you anytime ๐Ÿ™‚ though my reply hasn’t seemed to tag Mrs D in so will try to flick her an email or message her by some other means… hope you are having an awesome day too! xx

    • Hi @melnz and @embracingsober I will hook the two of you up via email now! x

  • Melnz posted an update 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Day 365
    Big shout out ot my sober sister/day twin @embracingsober

    Can’t claim to be 100% AF…but have totally transformed my life and my beliefs surrounding alcohol after 32 years of daily drinking. My goals were & still are 1) long-term sustainable change 2) adopt a ‘take it or leave’ attitude to alcohol 3) never experience a hangover again. Could write a whole novel right now but this is how I summarise my journey so far “Alcohol squeezed the life out of me. Now I am squeezing alcohol out of my life”. So excited about the next 365 days, I have chosen the right path & booze is fading away in the rearview mirror, eat my dust motherf**cker.

    Thank you to each & every one of you. I don’t post much but check in most days & always learn something. Knowledge has been the game changer for me, there is no going back once you open yourself up to the truth

    • Awesome!!

    • Huge congrats to you on this massive milestone Melnz ❤️🌺🌹🌷🌸💕❤️🌺🌹🌷🌸💕🌺❤️🌹🌷🌸💕

    • What great news, great attitude and congrats on 365. what a great accomplishment.

    • Yay us @melnz, thanks for the shout out! Look how far we have come eh! No more hangovers! No longer consumed by wine…. thanks for walking with me along this journey, for being my sober sister!!! It meant the world to me when we started this journey a year ago to know that someone cared enough to call me their sober sister, I can remember feeling quite teary and emotional about it (in a good way) and it still means the world to me ๐Ÿ™‚ Here’s to the next 365 days Whoop Whoop… absolutely no going back!!! … I’m Andrea by the way ๐Ÿ™‚ Shine bright my sober sister xxx

    • Eat Melnz dust, mf! Yeah! Upward and onward.

    • Love that Melnz! โ€œAlcohol squeezed the life out of me. Now I am squeezing alcohol out of my lifeโ€. I was thinking along these lines today…wondering again how just the absence of alcohol day after day…brings out a new person (or as others have put it – an ’emergent, once hidden, life’).

    • That’s fantastic! Massive congratulations! ❤️❤️❤️

  • Melnz posted an update 4 weeks ago

    Hi @squizzi and @tim Hope all good with you both

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hiya @heidi19 Well done on Day 2! What’s the plan for 4pm? “Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance”, have some strategies ready to deal with Mona. It’s all about mixing up routines/habits and keeping your mind & hands busy busy busy. This will help you be firm with her when she arrives…she will be persistent & needy. Got lots of AF drinks ready to go? Go for a walk? Run a bath? Read a book? Go to bed early? It will seem totally weird and very scary…but just don’t give Mona any space. We are all here cheering you on xx

    • Crikey @melnz, I tried saying all your p’s in a hurry, nearly lost my teeth! Maybe that could be my homework for 4pm today! Got today done n dusted now for something for all my tomorrows,lol!!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Perfect summary @Chaves …’fantasy v REALITY’

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Great to hear all well with you. I enjoy reading your posts because I am lucky enough to live in your favourite part of NZ which, as you know, is small & relatively undiscovered (until the last few years anyway). Sounds as though you are filling your time with positive new interests, something that I am also doing. I’ve taken up a few new hobbies which get me off the sofa & out of the house in the evenings, most importantly away from alcohol. Have a lovely day x

  • Melnz posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Sunday morning shout out to @tim and @saoirse Hope you both doing well, thinking of you

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    So great to have you back here!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Wow! Good on you! I had noticed your absence on LS but was pretty confident you would be doing OK, well done! Go us..happier & healthier…I’ll NOT drink to that! Take care sober sis xx

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks heaps for the shout out. I’m still lurking here most days and so very happy & proud of my progress over the past 11 months. Still having the odd glass of wine here & there but the obsession & allure is less and less. Instead I am pouring my energy into learning about myself and why I felt alcohol was the only joyful thing in my life. Now filling my life with new hobbies & healthy exercise…no time for evening vinos and no desire for hangovers! Feeling motivated and excited about the new me. How are you doing?

    • That’s awesome! All is well here, I had a busy few months where I wasn’t able to check in and post as often as I had been, but also reached that lovely place where wine just doesn’t factor in my headspace anymore, well not often anyway… funnily enough it was the purchase of a new fridge a couple of months back that set off the random thought of wine… “Hmm, a bottle of wine would look nice in there” funny wee trigger, though instead of setting off a craving it made me smile and scoff at myself… silly old wine witch! Look how far we have come eh, and all the positive’s that it has lead into… no longer are our evenings navigated by the glass or 3 of wine… and all the blah stuff that goes along with it like headaches and disrupted sleep! Here’s to happier healthier us… ๐Ÿ™‚ Loving the journey xx

      • Wow! Good on you! I had noticed your absence on LS but was pretty confident you would be doing OK, well done! Go us..happier & healthier…I’ll NOT drink to that! Take care sober sis xx

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Our hearts are aching for you & your family Mrs D. It is because of YOU that so many of us are now gratefully & happily living our lives to the best of our abilities. Sending much love your way xx

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hi @tim, just checked in here to make sure you OK, happy to learn you are safe. We don’t know each other… but I always read your posts & silently ‘cheerlead’ your AF journey & great progress. Remembered you mentioning Brighton so assumed you live in Chch and just wanted to reach out to you & all my fellow kiwis going through this terrible time. Kia kaha

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks for sharing this…perfect timing, joined this site about 7 months ago and starting to really feel positive about my progress & what next year will bring. The words ‘consistency & desire’ sit alongside another 2 words I read recently re sobriety: ‘commitment & confidence’. So you get the drift “Really want it, commit to it, be consistent and be confident about it” Bring on 2019!

  • Melnz posted an update 6 months ago

    Good morning @embracingsober …now it’s my turn to wish YOU a very Happy Birthday! It’s a gorgeous day to be celebrating your day of birth and a great (not too big) number, I hope you get spoiled rotten! As a shining bright soberista you will be able to soak up & enjoy every detail…rather than the drunken ‘wheels coming off’ through the course of the day! You deserve the very best, give it heaps. Love from melnz xx

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Thank you so much! Beautiful, hot sunny day where I am…and I scored a day off work. Started the day with 7am walk on the beach. Avocado & poached eggs on toast for breakfast then gardening & housework. Who is this person who would normally start her birthday (hungover from ‘birthday eve’ drinkies) with a champagne breakfast then drink all day & night?!? Certainly a very different person to the one who turned up on this site 206 days ago. Today I am committed & confident about my relationship with alcohol…and looking forward to a hangover free 2019. Thanks for your love & support lil sis xx

  • Melnz posted an update 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    What a crack up @embracingsober I’m the 18th!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Good morning @aprilaries Totally agree, I have struggled too as find most things too sweet. Have you tried La Croix? It’s sparkling water with a hint of flavour, available at Countdown in packs of 12 cans for $12. It’s in the bottled water section in my supermarket, so far I’ve tried lime, orange, peach-pear, grapefruit, passionfruit, berry. I usually drink it as is, but can add a bit of extra flavouring etc to it to make a fancy mocktail over summer. I’m also enjoying coconut water if I need a bit of a sweeter hit. Have a lovely day

    • Oooh yeah not a fan of the overly sweet drinks, (yet I could knock back a bottle of rose or bubbles in a blink of an eye, hahaha) so this is fantastic, thanks @melnz

      • So little is low sugar or a safe alternative. I simply give up and make my own + soda. Rhubarb/raspberry is wonderful though all the party goers drink mine, abandon the wine..

    • Iโ€™m the same with sugary drinks I have just cleaned up my soda stream and been looking at the zero sugar syrups and there are some cool flavours
      I even do a glass of soda water and pop in a couple of wedges of lemon and cucumber real yummy and refreshing

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks for the shout out @embracingsober …all good here thanks lil sis….and I seem to be navigating this new site! As you know, I’m not claiming to be 100% AF but 98% AF! Looking forward to the next 6 months, summer will have it’s challenges but I’m actually really looking forward to a sober Xmas & New Years. Xmas won’t be a problem…I’m usually sober driver on Xmas day for the simple reason that my birthday is the week before and, traditionally my hubbie is always sober driver for my birthday… which means Xmas is always my turn to drive. (I may have been an old lush for 30+ years but do not believe in drink driving). And I can’t wait to wake up on NY Day without a hangover!! What day is your birthday???

    • 98% is a pretty good win in my books… I agree, I’m looking forward to this holiday season sober too, there is something very reassuring for me to know that alcohol is just not going to feature in my festivities… that of course means hangovers and over-indulgences and wasted mornings feeling rubbish are also not going to play any part in my holidays! My birthday is the 19th so guessing pretty close to yours if you are a week out from Christmas! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks for the shout out lil sis, yes I’m back from a beautiful holiday and doing great! If total abstinence is the goal…then I failed while on holiday by having a couple of glasses of wine. But if personal progress is the goal…then I am feeling so proud of what I achieved. If someone had said to me 6 months ago that I would go on holiday with AF drinks packed in my bag, not drink bubbles at the airport or on the plane, not start drinking booze at lunchtime each day, drink mocktails & smoothies and be sober driver for my friends every day, I would have fallen off my barstool laughing. But a happy, healthy, clear headed holiday it was. I’ve jumped straight back into my alcohol free lifestyle since arriving home 10 days ago. I am not going to jeopardise all the hard work to date. Looking forward to the next 6 months xx

    • And you should be proud, extremely proud @melnz… we started this journey nigh on 6months ago and its pretty awesome we’re going to be celebrating 6 months sober very very soon… absolutely no fails on holidays, well not in my books anyway! Its about the journey… not the ‘consecutive’ days… so keep shining bright my sober sis!

  • Melnz posted an update 7 months, 4 weeks ago

    Just to say hi @embracingsober, loving our orange counter today! Really happy with my progress, can’t believe how far I’ve come. Still reading heaps of ‘Quit Lit’. Off overseas on holiday tonight so taking “Mrs D is Going Within” as part of my holiday reading. Instead of being obsessed about drinking while on holiday, I’m focusing on all the fun I’m going to have with a clear head, deep sleeps, exercise etc, etc. In other words, a PROPER restful & revitalising holiday! Have a great day my lil sober sis!

    • Hi my lovely sober sis! Go us, 150! We have done so well… you are going to have such an amazing holiday, not only will you enjoy focussing on the actual holiday, but your mornings are going to be blissfully fresh, and hangover free! Are you away for long? Whereever you go have a great time! Restful and revitalised! I love it! Enjoy and Safe travels xx

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    You are our shining light & inspiration, thank you MrsD! Have a happy & safe Labour Weekend, hoping you can squeeze in some self-care in the midst of all the crazy busy stuff xx

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Welcome to LS! You will Bee Happyier without alcohol in your life. Short term pain for long term gain

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    That is massive!! Well done on riding out this big challenge early on in your sobriety. Your determination is inspirational. Enjoy your clear head today x

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    I can’t tell you how stoked I am for you! Awesome result & I totally understand the feeling of having that weight lifted. I found being honest & accountable to my GP & addiction clinician got me on the right path, along with this amazing site of course! And a massive dose of positive determination. Well done!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Welcome to LS!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Try not to feel nervous, hold your head high & feel proud of all that you are doing to reclaim your life…it’s not easy but you are doing it! All the best for your appointment & I look forward to reading how it goes

    • Hi meeting with Lydia at CareNZ was amazing. I felt safe and non judged and was as honest as I have ever been with anyone and felt like a weight had been lifted. She told me I was doing all the right things and that my positive determination shone through. I am seeing her for an hour a week for the next 5 weeks (she goes on maternity leave) and then 2 weeks later I go on my trip. She gave me some things to think about, like planning with husband what to do if I was heading down a relapse path, which made total sense.

      • I can’t tell you how stoked I am for you! Awesome result & I totally understand the feeling of having that weight lifted. I found being honest & accountable to my GP & addiction clinician got me on the right path, along with this amazing site of course! And a massive dose of positive determination. Well done!

      • Fantastic…sounds like a great positive.

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    A warm welcome to LS!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Wow, those numbers are adding up. Well done!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Congrats, massive achievement!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    It is very scary…but you will be safe here, lots of info & support from people who totally get it. I read your comment that last time you quit cold turkey you got sick – your doctor might be able to help with that. If you can, just don’t drink today

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    With all due respect…you’ve mentioned doctor & family, but do YOU want to cut down? Are you thinking ‘I should cut down’ rather than ‘I want to cut down’? For me, there was a huge difference! Feeling I should cut down always resulted in drinking again. This time is different because I absolutely wanted to change my mindset & relationship with alcohol…and I have. I recommend the free online course by Annie Grace called The Alcohol Experiment. It will really get you thinking about yourself and your relationship with alcohol. Being here is a fabulous start! We are here to cheer you on!

    • Yes, I definitely want to cut down and absolutely want to stop drinking altogether but I am scared as hell!

      • It is very scary…but you will be safe here, lots of info & support from people who totally get it. I read your comment that last time you quit cold turkey you got sick – your doctor might be able to help with that. If you can, just don’t drink today

      • There Are many here who have been right in the same place.. CAN you cut back on your drinking? If that isnpossible, start there and make a plan to ease off. also, consider talking to Dr. About possibility of meds if necessary. Others will know more. I did not have a physical addiction so I am far from an expert. However, I did spend many years in failed attempts to limit my drinking.measure not to drink, and frankly..I’m really happy this way and never want to go back. BTW, am 61. There are several, if not !any of us youngsters on this site:).

  • Melnz posted an update 8 months ago

    A few words to kick start the day:

    “Don’t stay here, go forward! I know it’s scary but it will be worth it.
    Because even if you fail, you’ll be better, stronger & more capable for it.
    You need this change, this challenge, this growth.
    Go find out what life is like on the other side of your fear” by Brooke Hampton

    • Thanks, this quote is very timely for me today as I’ve been putting off doing something (work related) for too long! Carpe diem ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thanks @Meinz Great quote! Cheers

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome back, you’re here now and that what counts. Dust yourself off, refocus on not drinking, kick that anxiety into touch and reclaim your happiness. It is what you deserve.

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats! Awesome achievement…and I am joining you in not drinking alcohol today

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Yes! We go all out with drinking & see it as a weakness. But then, with the right mindset & attitude, we can harness that very same dedication, tenacity & stubborn-ness and throw it at NOT drinking!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome to LS. Lots of awesome support & info here from people all around the world. You have a wealth of experience so please know that by posting/replying here…you are helping many others. Have a great alcohol free day, I will be joining you in that!

    • Thank you for the support! It is good to know I can help people. Being in the hospital for so long was a kind of blessing, because I can start a new life. I went all out with my drinking and other substances, so I think I should go all out with my sobriety and helping our community. I know I will be able to progress in this path I have chosen to follow and also in my sobriety.

      • Yes! We go all out with drinking & see it as a weakness. But then, with the right mindset & attitude, we can harness that very same dedication, tenacity & stubborn-ness and throw it at NOT drinking!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @Lightness. Well done on 27 days! I can relate to every single word of your post. I’m a bit further ahead in my AF journey but still obsessively reading everything I can. But I figure it’s doing no harm, keeping me occupied & informed. I too struggle with forever … at this early stage the important thing for me is that, through reading & self care, after 32 years of daily drinking, I am managing to dramatically change my whole attitude & relationship with alcohol. I am just staying positive & focusing on what I am achieving every day. My goal is for alcohol to be totally irrelevant in my life, I’m definitely on my way and so are you!

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome to LS. Great people, support & info here

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    You are awesome Tim. Have a great day

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Happy Birthday @Mrs D! Thank you so very very much for all that you do for us…even on a Saturday when it’s your birthday!! Have an awesome evening celebrating with your family xx

  • Melnz posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome to LS

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