Staying close. A lot of stress right now and a lot of pressure from family to cope with alcohol – our genetic and cultural go-to. But wine is not going to gift me with the self-esteem or self-confidence that 88 days AF has. I appreciate being able to drop in here and spend time with people who are on the same journey. I am not alone, and there is strength in numbers.
I’m so glad you are really grounded in knowing that alcohol will definitely take away the feelings you have and everything you have worked for. It takes time and tools to learn how to adjust to situations especially if other family members are still drinking. I have and will always seek outside help if needed above and beyond regular programs like AA or RR etc. If you need extra support to stay strong definitely do it! Keep up the great work. xoxoxoxox
Thank you @mayfly. I’ll need it in a moment. Going to make an amends to boss (manager) that I worked for last year. He was one of 3 sober people there, including me, out of a few hundred. He really had my back at work and a sound relationship was blossoming but I began to drink again and blew everything to pieces, including the job. I don’t want the job back but he has really been on my mind since my last one, where I was treated like shit for being the only sober person out of 10. I just feel like he needs to know that I am sorry, that his kindness will not be forgotten and it meant and means so much.
Thank you @LeslieLily and @mayfly if its any help LeslieLily my lightbulb moment came when I realised that what I felt was true for me. After a life time of “you worry too much, its only you, pull yourself together, you’re wrong to think like that etc” from various people I realised that if that was how I felt it was true for me I did not need anyone else to validate this for me this has given me a tremendous freedom. Stupid cos most people know this anyway its just taken me 61 years to work it out😸😸
Here, too, rediscovering books – even trying some “hard” ones now that I can concentrate and retain the information. I found that the amount of drinking, by women specifically, on TV, and the portrayal of it being classy/glamorous, was a trigger in the beginning, so reading has become a sober treat. Double bonus, right?
I’m 61. Am I too old to be adopted by a regular family? In the midst of dealing with our mother’s current temper tantrum, fueled by alcohol and dementia, my sister (who lives 300 miles away and has basically no contact with mom) advises me to get a bottle of wine and go have a drink with her to cheer her up and get her to a happy place. And yes, sister knows I’m not drinking… but “one glass won’t hurt you…” Day 75. I am NOT drinking. I may run away from home, change my name, and join a different circus, but I am NOT drinking. Just posting this to a group who will “get” it, has lifted me up. I’m so grateful to be here 🙂
I’m 61 too. Yes. It’s too late to be adopted by a normal family (I already tried). But the circus idea might work … I’ll save you a seat in the clown car. :-0 Hang in there @mayfly. Day 75!!! You’re doing great!
@mayfly. We cannot deny the biological stream of life although we are not in any way held responsible for it. We also get to recreate the shape in which it defines us. We get to keep the good stuff and leave the rest. It’s all about freedom. I think that the hardest part about getting sober was/is feeling responsible for everything when we are not. We are only liable for today and what we choose to do with it. 75 days AF is amazing! Be proud of your accomplishments thus far and keep going!
Messing up would be not having a Day 1 again and again and again as often as it takes. You are an inspiration for picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and getting back in the ring – that’s what winners do!
Seems you have some great insights about what’s in store. Quitting seems to be a longer process for some of us – it takes more practice. I’ve been at this with varying degrees of commitment, and thus success, for years. Like you, I’m the only one who recognizes that I just might have a problem with alcohol. My longest period of total sobriety was 7 months, two years ago. I give a lot of credit for those months AF to staying close to this community (mostly lurking, but still feeling accountable and encouraged by others’ experiences). I’m back with an increased respect for the value of this site. I hope you find that hanging out with these folks does, indeed, lighten your load. 🙂
Thank you – I’m on my laptop a lot through my living so I’m thinking this might be easier for me to get the support I now know I need. I think for me it will be easier than leaving the house at night sitting in a committee room environment trying to connect with the other people within but really being afraid and feeling extraordinarily out of place. I’m in my own safe home environment and I enjoy reading and writing so it feels like it might just work.
Found my 88-year-old mother passed out on the floor. She said she was “too tipsy” to get to bed, so laid down for a “little nap.” Relieved that she is unharmed. Grateful that as of this week she is finally living across the street from us. Determined that this not be my future. Day 61…
It takes some time @mayfly and will be different for each one. @daveh gave me a fantastic explanation when I asked the same question a while back, putting the science behind it into words even I (a very non-scientific person could understand). I will try and find his post and then try to repost somehow.
23 days. Today has been hard – hot, tired, overwhelmed. Tomorrow will also be hard, but being hungover isn’t going to make me cooler, more rested or spread less thin. I have a 3 x 5 card that I keep close and refer to often: Tomorrow I will wake up with my self-respect intact, cheerful, motivated, and enthusiastic. That reminder and lurking here are helping…
Good on you. You just have to keep at it. That’s all there is to it. It has gotten HEAPS easier for me, so I’m not just talking shit when I say that it will for you too but you know you didn’t get here overnight so yeah you are doing a hard thing and 23 days is really fucking AWESOME 🙂
Way to go on the first week! It’s all about the plan, isn’t it? Today is my 8th day and instead of watching TV and drinking this Saturday night, I’m ready to spend the evening on the deck with tea, reading and watching the birds instead – something that’s “too boring” when drinking. You are going to be so pleased with yourself tomorrow morning 🙂