• mindfuljo posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Hi @marmite. I would absolutely love that. Just let me know how I can get in touch!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    We do get together, though far too rarely. Now we have to, to meet you 🙂 !!! @Mrs-D will give you my email and I will link you in. Time for a Winter soup gathering perhaps @Prudence (to farewell you?) @marmite, @mullycatnz, @begoodtomyself, @MsLsober, @Oceania, who am I missing?
    I hope you get better very soon and have a good nurse to care for you?

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Yeah you’re not going to know yourself when you get into that cool new house @Marmite, it is such a big buzz to have created something from the ground up. I t will be amazing for your whole family. All power to ya xoxo

  • Mrs D posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks everyone for your lovely messages yesterday on my sad news. It was so lovely to see the notifications trickle in all day. What a special community this is, such a simple concept.. putting people together and fostering kindness and non-judgemental support as we learn how to live without numbing ourselves. So very special and I thank each and every one of you for being here. @marmite I forgot of course you knew about my MIL from her work in Lyttelton! She taught new entrants there for over 20 years so will be well known in the community. Such a fantastically warm, wise, loving and giving woman. Off to pick up Mr D from the airport this morning.. he’s coming home to rest for a few days then we’ll all head back down to CHCH for the funeral at the end of the week. I cannot wait to see him. My mum is also having a hip operation this week and will be in hospital also in CHCH so it really is a time for honouring and giving back to our parents. I often think that this phase of life – our 40’s and thereabouts – is such a busy time with kids becoming teenagers, parents ageing, our careers being busy, our own health being important. Just busy busy busy and tired tired tired and what a fantastic time to be sober!!!! I’d like to say a huge THANK YOU to the me of 7 1/2 years ago that decided to kick shit booze to the curb. What a fantastic decision!!! Anyone who works to get sober is a bloody legend and that means all of you so lets all give ourselves virtual high fives and keep striving to live our best lives. Hugs to all xxx

    • Sincere condolences Lotta

    • My condolences to you and your family for your loss.

    • Lots of love to you all. And strength and good healing thoughts for your Mum. XXXXX

    • Love to you and Mr D, and best wishes for your mum’s op xx

    • Morning Lotta…. well done for being present for yourself and your family at this sad time. For being available to them and supportive…..and for processing it all authentically and naturally. It’s a sad time but also a chance to reflect and celebrate her life.

    • Sure is a great time to be sober, wish I was smart enough to do it in my forties, but all the same I’ll thank the me that thought better late than never nearly 5 years ago. And I’ll thank you too for giving me the idea and the community in which to do it. You will be strong and amazing this week. That is how you roll. Let your tears flow. Power to ya xoxo

    • Sending you all lots of love and strength as you go through this sad time ❤️❤️❤️

    • Just saw the news, my sympathy to you and your family for your loss. Not sure I could decide to go home and accept. Many say they would, then when the time comes, it’s too hard. She must have been a strong and brave woman. Helen Keller once said something like “all that we once loved we can can never lose, because everything we love becomes part of us” or something like that. And I believe that, I think our loved ones continue to influence us, even after they cross over that line between this world and the next.

    • Sending big hugs. Xoxo

    • Aw thinking of you @mrs-d 🙁 lots of love to you all xxx

    • My prayers for you all. Even in such sad times you are a shining light to us@mrs-d. She must have been so proud of you.

    • All love and strength to you and yours, lovely! xx

    • Yes, I’m am happy to say @mrs-d that one of my daughters was taught by her.
      She was an incredible lady, they have started a book of condolences at the school
      Much love to you xo

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @marmite I have a cousin with an on and off again addiction, who did go through odyssey house here in Auckland. Don’t have much contact recently to offer any update on how he found it. However, read a book you may find interesting called “A very fine house: a mothers story of love, faith and crystal meth”. The book is very enlightening and heartbreaking about sitting on the outside wanting to help someone who is incredibly deep into her addiction.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @Marmite Whereabouts in the country are you looking in terms of treatment options? Until you find somewhere suitable (yes, this may take weeks) what are you doing with him? Are there NA meetings in your area? Please be careful with Doctors… if they don’t understand addiction they can intervene with medication in ways that are really unhelpful. If the doctor recommends diazapan then check that they understand what they’re doing. Here is a meeting list for Narcotics anonymous. It’s definately worth a try: http://www.nzna.org/meetings-lists/

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @marmite If you talk to someone with a meth problem about your own addiction they will get it. If you talk about what happened to your mind, your emotions and feelings they will completely understand you and you will strike empathy straight away. Just change up “alcoholism” to “addiction” and never specifically mention booze.

    Meth makes precisely the same mess of peoples’ minds as alcohol does and their challenges in recovery are the same except you may have one more hurdle with a meth user… attention span. For about the first month or so they only have a very short attention span… so keep the messages brief and the listening long. You are attempting to get them to go “me too!” in their minds when you describe what happened to you, and when they talk about themselves you keep confirming “me too!” to them. This breaks their isolation and they become able to open up and speak more honestly.

    As with all recovery options, none is worthwhile until they are committed to drastic change. When they ARE ready then all therapy options will work. It’s about the timing not the treatment. So your immediate challenge is to foster acceptance and willingness. Good luck. Meth is a tough one.

    • Thank you @daveh . Yes, my husband opened up to him about his oxycontin addiction and i have been open about my alcohol addiction. He wants help. He wants to quit again. He can see that it’s destroying his life. I’m so proud of him for being honest about what’s really going on. We’ve had a few issues with his attitude and it’s all starting to make sense now, the mood swings, the egomania ( he’s a chef so initially that didn’t worry me too much!) I’m quickly trying to educate myself

      • Hi @Marmite Whereabouts in the country are you looking in terms of treatment options? Until you find somewhere suitable (yes, this may take weeks) what are you doing with him? Are there NA meetings in your area? Please be careful with Doctors… if they don’t understand addiction they can intervene with medication in ways that are really unhelpful. If the doctor recommends diazapan then check that they understand what they’re doing. Here is a meeting list for Narcotics anonymous. It’s definately worth a try: http://www.nzna.org/meetings-lists/

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    there’s some great information on here @marmite https://drughelp.org.nz/a-bit-about-drugs/meth I don’t know much about rehabs etc but there’s a helpline here and the people there will know more. Sounds tough x

  • Hello team. I’m alll tuckered out here and keep falling asleep in the big orange chair……an early night on the cards for me I’m thinkng. What a great bunch of beautiful sober warriors I’ve had the privilege of spending time with all weekend. So pleased everyone seems to have had a good time, plenty of laughing, far too much eating, talking till the cows came home, so nice to touch each other’s lives in this way. It makes drinking look so stupid really. Drinkers would probably think the opposite….like how do you have a weekend catch up like that with no booze, what’s the point? where’s the fun? Well we could all show them a thing or three! The point is being so fricking clued up we don’t need some dumb altered state to connect and laugh and talk and listen and care and support and celebrate our freindships. I so love who we all are without alcohol in our lives. @enzedgirl @oceania @morgan @mullycatnz @ange @janus2 @scared @begoodtomyself @emjaycee @Trace @gojo @Marmite @rise2015 @Soberstylist Thank you all for coming, thank you for my beautiful gift that I can hardly wait to get Rory to figure out how to put on the wall, and thank you all of you who didn’t come but wished us well. Feeling blessed. Good night xoxo

  • good evening soberinas 🙂 just back from the gathering down in Christchurch. very grateful for the beautiful weather, lovely homes to stay in, the connection and togetherness, far too much delicious food, amazing music. i also caught up with a friend who we don’t often see here any more, and had the chance to meet his lovely family which was a little bit like the delicious icing on the scrumptious cake ❤️

    i was also very grateful to see how far Christchurch has come along in the two years since i was last there. the city was alive with people, beautiful new buildings, the river is just stunning. so lovely to spend a little bit of time there.

    sleep well all, back to it tomorrow xxx

    @prudence @janus2 @scared @begoodtomyself @ange @trace @rise2015 @gojo @marmite @morgan @oceania @mullycatnz @emjaycee

    • Lol @enzedgirl didnt say bye, but you know i did aye. I am still laughing bout walking into that farkn door. @oceania said with that white thing on did i think i was a bird.! Was also thinkn of your new job and i think you will be fab, as you dont fark around lol. So go you. Not said it before but i do admire you, from a ditz like me. Lol, yes bag left behind.. walk into sliding door… oh what else. @Ange love ya, you been 1 of my rocks. @trace give me your black pants and blue top lol. Lol nice to hear, i am exactly as you imagined lol lol. So going to fuck the punt off after a huge weekend which i loved, true friendships, based on like minds. Xo xo

      • I can’t tell you how much that means to me Janus.

        I admire you too, I really do.

        But fuck I thought I would wee my pants when you walked into that big old pane of glass, thank Christ you didn’t hurt yourself 😂😂😂

        Have a great week hon xxx

        • yes admire you, as you have been through the ringer yourself. So for that in your past did ot for me. Love you loads. Tehe no pain no gain, from window pain
          Nite xo

      • @janus2 I just loved meeting you, but next time I’m gonna make sure we talk a bit more! I’m so glad somebody else walks into glass doors its kinda one of my specialties, nearly did it this time around too. I have to admit you weren’t completely how I’d imagined you…you are even better in the flesh….

    • It was an amazing, amazing weekend! I love you all to pieces and am so very glad I came! ❤️ Thank you for having me xx

    • Sounds like you had an amazing weekend away with great memories ❤️❤️❤️

      • It was really great timid, wish you were there. There’s a real drive to keep these get togethers going, maybe even twice a year, so I really hope you can make the next one. We’ll have to jimmy the dates!

  • Normaleelucid posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Just saw this @Marmite. How cool! So proud of you xox

  • enzedgirl posted an update 3 months ago

    @prudence @morgan @marmite @begoodtomyself @emjaycee @tim everyone else in Chch please let us know that you are all OK when you can xoxoxox

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Good on ya @Marmite Wowie 2 whole years. So cool! Flippin marvellous xoxox

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Congrats @marmite. I look forward to catching up soon xx

  • Gojo posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    OMG @marmite that means that I missed my 2 years yesterday! Our son and d-i-l are over for a quick trip from Europe so I have been busy having a good time with them. I think having them here is a wonderful 2 year present. Looking forward so much to meeting up with so many LS people at at the end of the month!

    • congrats to you too @gojo 🙂 how awesome is that, having too good of a time to remember about sober anniversaries ❤️

  • Jocord posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Congrats on 2 full, wonderful AF years @marmite!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @marmite congratulations on your fantastic accomplishment!

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    well said @marmite.

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    congrats @marmite, used to be a beautiful dog nose right? going to miss that one. 🙂 2 years is supposed to be a good milestone, you have done everything twice now WITHOUT alcohol. congrats. again.

  • robynb posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Ah, so great @marmite! Huge congratulations to you!

  • IslandOne posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Congratulations, @marmite! You were one of my first inspirations on this site!

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    you’re my sober hero @marmite ❤️💕

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Congrats @marmite! Love how you express the what ifs. Very inspiring!

  • Liberty posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    So wonderful @marmite 🙂 Feels longer! You’re a star.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    So, so good @marmite, 2 years is amazing. Great that you have stuck to the change to AF.

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Can’t wait! Rock on over any of the Chch lot – @begoodtomyself? @prudence, @mslsober, @marmite, @emjaycee, @Weeraca, @mullycat, @Oceania? Who else? Too early for my poor brain to function

  • Hello brave bold heroes! Thanks for the shout out @Morgan I’ve been missing in action for quite a few days now. Things just got a bit hectic, back and forth to the city, getting the rental sorted, massive job, all done now and tenants in, and it looks pretty mint and that feels like a huge achievement. Also new tenants signed up for Recliffs, both lots on one year leases and very stable people. Phew! I hosted book club here last night and broke my Keto diet for the first time in 25 days @morgan. I hadn’t even cheated once before that. I am quite pissed off with it to be honest because I haven’t lost any weight and I’ve been SO GOOD, it’s not fair and I’m a bit over it. I had a crack at @Marmite‘s vegetarian sausage rolls last night, they’re not as good as hers but pretty good none the less. So once I’d scoffed about 3 of them I thought I might as well have a piece of the hazelnut cake that the lady up the road bought,with whipped cream. The Keto is ok at home but difficult when out to find something without meat that has no carbs or sugar, so I usually just starve till I get home. If anything I am sleeping better most nights @Morgan. I’ve been invited to go to France and have the free use of guest accommodation upstairs from my friend’s house. My friend who was going to go with me has decided not to go now, so I’m trying to figure out if I should just go on my own or leave it out altogether. Anyone fancy a wee adventure? It is the second trip to Europe I’ve planned lately, the first one (with Francis) I lost a lot of money on when I cancelled. Luckily I haven’t booked flights for this one yet as was just in planning stage. Weather is getting cooler, wish I could have done our gathering in the really hot months but life was just too hectic in my crazy little caravan world, and also the accommodation business here has been very busy, sometimes guests seven or eight days in a row. Well none of this has much to do with booze does it now? Except for the fact…[Read more]

  • Evening all,

    Drizzly ol evening here, MtEdenMr is out for a work dinner and kidlets are watching Harry Potter and eating pizza. I tried to summon up my sober best friend @SueK style so made myself a delish salmony, gingery, coriandery salad lol Pizza smells bloody good though…

    8 years ago today since the Christchurch earthquakes. Thinking of all of you folk down there, what a mad time. I read today about the so called quake kids, who all have messed up stress hormones etc. Wow I hope we can help them to stay away from addiction, no doubt there will be many who struggle in the years to come.

    Thought I would share something that has been helping me lately. The circling inner voice of the wine wolf is still with me often (although now it might whisper – “nah, have the pizza” instead of “buy two bottles of wine, even if you only plan to drink one glass”…). About two years ago @marmite and I started to imagine ourselves wearing a wolfskin coat… a big f-off, kick butt, middle finger to wolfie!!! Recently I have started to see the self care that I need to maintain if I want to stay sober as putting on my wolfskin coat. I literally imagine my diet, sleep, exercise, mindfulness etc as pulling on my armour…a big regal, protective, Cruella de Ville style coat to protect me from wolfie. I think it has helped me reframe those habits from some boring, dumb thing that other people dont have to do (mutter mutter grumble grumble sulk) into a really positive empowering thing. And I think that having an image to focus on helps me too. I dunno…might help someone!

    Hope you all have lovely weekend plans. Not much outside standard kid’s sport, birthdays etc on the agenda here but that’s fine with me 🙂

    x x

  • janus2 posted an update 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    @jocord i know right, how dare she be on the road same time as me!!!!! So rude! 🙂 Roaadds all clear of dumbarses today phew 😉
    @enzedgirl i reached 2 yrs about a mnth ago aye. Just quietly stoked, @marmite and i were very close in days, so both at 2 yrs 🙂

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    I think @Gojo is coming too, I think some more accommodation might be required. Did you get hold of @Marmite about that top bunk I mentioned Rise? @Enzedgirl I think Kitty’s house is available, but just a bit more hideously priced than it was in 2017, it’s on Bachcare. It is their only income now and her husband had to retire as he has that awful illness like Mac007 has. Be great to see you ladies here xx

    • I couldn’t see it on bachcare @prudence ?

      There aren’t many places to rent in Takapuna eh? Might need to rent one in Akaroa you think?

  • Prudence posted an update 4 months ago

    Good morning warriors. I have a little trouble with the site sometimes if I look at a comment reply on one device (like my phone) then go to another device to reply the message has gone. Anyway lucky I can remember the numbers after the name coz usually I wouldn’t. @Rise2015 never too late to join in, we would love to meet you. To the best of my knowledge there has been a bit of a shuffle around with the accommodation already booked, which is just one house. I believe there is a top bunk available in a room shared with @MullycatNZ and @Oceania. The person to ask about this would be @Marmite. A gorgeous day again today, a big fire risk here in the south island, total fire bans. Supposed to get to 32 degrees Celsius. Got some guests just surfacing. I’ve been up, had a long soak in the bath, washed my hair, been for a big walk, pulled some weeds, watered my sister’s vege garden, and commenced some book keeping but then got on here instead. Such is the life of a sober queen haha!! I’m waiting till 10am to have breakfast as I’m trying intermittent fasting alongside my keto eating, so I keep myself busy coz I’m hungry. I am on my 11th day and I have not lost even a smidgeon of weight and I’m highly pissed off, I haven’t cheated even once, so I wonder what I am doing wrong. Oh well, there is so much else to be happy about that I’ll let that pass for the moment. If it doesn’t start dropping off in bulk soon I will never try another diet in my lifetime, I’ve had a guts full of trying so hard on and off over the last few years and nothing makes a difference. I am even going for big walks! It must be something to do with being old!!! and short!!! hahaha oh well….over and out. Booze sucks! xoxo

    • Whos old and short??? 🙂 you are not neither or fat, sorry to disappoint you! Now seriously here have you tried pilates, hard to start off with but its just strengthning your core. You tube it. Really diets dont work, well thats my belief xo why suffer then get pissed off lol. Oh its 10.40 breakfast passed, gobbled and happy camper 😉 xo

    • @Prudence, I hear you as I’m having same issue! But, also.agree with @Janus2, when I was attending my pilates/Barre class 2 times.per week, the weight came right off with changing anything else. But I quit that club so I’m on my own now, dang.

    • Do you have a nice sea breeze over there? It is mercifully not getting too high here but I am having a nap with iced face cloths just in case lol
      Are you in ketosis? That is number 1. Usually 2-4 kilos just vanish from water loss as each carb molecule has 3-4 Ho2 s. Cut carbs and we lose that water. + you should not be hungry at all, that is the beauty of this way of eating! Maybe a bit while fasting… What does Georgia say?
      It can be very slow at our age remember. I have done 28 weeks and only just 10 kg. Lots of stalls. Moving down again now which is very exciting as I have discovered much fat is still, left ARRGGHHHH Need some serious exercise to tone up now. Too much work. I do swim with the kids almost every day, but not enough, and too stressful.
      Don’t quit, just eat more fat 😍

      • Yes I am in ketosis. I pee on a keto stick each morning @Morgan. Will keep persevering. Thanks. Hot here but loving it xx

        • Good woman, dont give up – not yet. And it is amazing for energy & clarity – not that you seem to need any more of either. Do you feel good? No keto flu?

  • Prudence posted an update 4 months ago

    @Gojo I can’t find the right place to reply, but yes you are welcome to come to the gathering here. My house is already full, but I know some of the ChCh crew have booked a bach up the road, I’m thinking they may have a spare couch bed but not entirely sure. @Marmite would be the one to ask. And if that fails, or if you want to leave it loose till closer to the time, then I’m sure there will be some hosted accommodation available, or a cabin at the camping ground or something. Nothing is far away. Have a good night x

    • Great thanks @prudence

      • Would be wise to book early or get included on the accomodation messenger group or Living Healthy FB page – link in with others renting. Has someone got your email Etc? @mrs-d links us up if desired

        • Hi @morgan I am on the Living Healthy page from when I hoped to make it to an earlier Chch meeting and have posted there yesterday. How do I get onto the accom messenger group?

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    I like your thinking @marmite ❤️

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @enzedgirl and @Marmite and @Timidwarrior and @Agent99 and @Cinderella ….while I was away in the city today I was looking in my dairy, and I can’t do this weekend after all, so will make it the following one. There is a music event on over at Okains Bay and a girlfriend is coming down from Napier for it and is going to introduce me to her friends over there so I’m feeling I should take that opportunity, I’ve been looking forward to it, just hadn’t realised the date. Sorry for the mess around. @Emjaycee said he’d come with his guitar and his kayak and his bike. Haven’t spoken to anyone else personally yet, I’ll stick it up on livinghealthy as well xoxo

    • Aww bugger I have my kids the following weekend. Argh well such is the life of a single mum lol

    • Oh dear can you re-add me to the FB group @prudence ? I’ll text you my silly FB name?

      Might be able to come the following weekend !

    • So… 29-31st March @prudence? I would love to come. Is ur place on public transport routes from Christchurch? Or is it best to stay at Akaroa? Or somewhere nearer to your home?

      • Oops… no, I cannot come that weekend. DH has already ‘booked’ that w/end to move his mother who has sold her house and moving even further north. Bugger! I was pretty excited already. Next time.

      • @April hopefully one of the ChCh crew would give you a ride over, and once we get some numbers the people coming will be booking houses with as many beds as possible, so you will be able to slot in there somewhere I imagine. It is best to stay in Takamatua, which will be listed as Akaroa but when you read the blurb look for the word Takamatua. It’s a bugger my nephews house is booked out, that would have been perfect, we used it last time

  • janus2 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Cheers you , how crazy is this, my ALL 4 sisters wished me happy bday and their kids, not sure what that about, maybe am sober!! Anyway will come to chill out, maybe with chch crew. Time to catch up @morgan @marmite @begoodtomyself @emjaycee and others, i will need a laugh after da whanau!!!

    • How cool that your sisters are finally starting to believe that things have changed…….reckon you’re just going to have to forgive them for being such bitchy cows for so long. Life’s too short. Chuck the bad away and just take the good. Sisters are great to have xoxo

  • janus2 posted an update 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Cheers @marmite, feels real wierd nearly 2 yrs aye, i thought i would crumble at 1. Think the thing that made me stronger was whangamata and people commenting how well i looked 🙂 you mayve missed fatbum was put down Sunday at 10 a.m 🙁 wierd not having her around and still lie on the floor watching t.v where she snuggled up to me. She went down in like 24hrs. I am swim teaching in Picton and at the end i go and investigate bays in Sounds so i dont have to sit and think!! Tbh also excited of 2yrs though in a wierd way jesus wept. I sm going to buy myself something just not sure what. peace out you xo

    • Hi @janus2, I’m sorry you’ve lost your wee buddy. Sending a big hug, my friend. Two years deserves a special treat 😊 xx

    • @Janus2 oh no, I’m so, so sorry. Lovely fatbum, thank you for helping our friend get sober. Somehow, fatbum got through to you in times when no one else could eh? Yes, you should do something special to celebrate this milestone 2 year mark and to celebrate the life of your best buddy, fatbum. Love you mate. I feel the same about Lizi’s retreat and Whangamata, they changed everything, i wouldn’t be approaching 2 years either without you all. I’m getting another tattoo, probably an addition to the one i got last year, might be a growing artwork on each anniversary xxoo

      • P.s. @janus2 hell yeah, the change in you was incredible, it was like someone had breathed life back into you. Shining bright my rainbow friend

  • janus2 posted an update 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    @marmite just thought i would post as u and i nearly at 2 yr mark, fark me lol. Went to see my A&D councellor today, yes still after 2 yrs lol But most got out of it was this, yes @prudence @endzedgirl @bondi and others plus newbies. We talked about how strong is my resolve to stay sober and yes i said its there i could drink again, despite fact my relationship would be down gurgler, ability to work down the drain, bipolar and mania hit with vengence, probably hospital visit!!! I found it interesting, with her saying there are always triggers in daily life, specially with me working fulltime for 16 ws. I said thats the reason why i still see you and yes am luckey, yet again with councellor, who believes in me and ability to work through this issue. I thinked i would ne fucked without a councellor yes been seeing them since 18, now 44 coming up 45, and really no break, yes different ones and all have been fab. Anywhoo just thpught it interesting my thought process, lol she sent me for blood test. Crak up she said your liver function not too hot anyway, but lets check B12. Jesus wept lol if i owned a pub i would drink the profits, even now . We spoke about antabuse which still on, and that takes away the fact i am not/can not acknowledge my triggers, no matter how small. My triggers arent boredom or loneliness but something a little more in depth then that aye. I am not/do not get bored,as i fill up my day, i niw do not get lonely, so what could it be, for fucks sake i dont know lol. Not even at times does the thought of seizures in my withdrawal, does not say pick up.! Just find it wierd as i am a well educated with a career or 2 up my sleeve plus working towards another plus pretty articulate. What do ya reckon also @morgan and @noelle. Anyway its cooled down time for fatbums slow walk. Man here tonight, camping tomorrow lol and fatbum has her own puptent. Really should be geriatric tent, poor bitch. Peace out.

    • Ooh @janus2 you are so cool! Big congrats on that 2 year mark. Always a fab inspiration for me and god you do make me chuckle often which I have really appreciated after a hard day. Enjoy weekend. Hope fatbum has treats in the pup tent! ❤️❤️

    • Not quite sure what the queston is @Janus2 but I am assuiming it is “why do you still have the desire to drink after all this time and when you know it will ruin you life as well as probably end it fairly quickly?” Good old blunt old @Prudence eh!!!
      Well my answer is probably not helpful. My answer is that we probably all have a latent desire to drink. Just coz we gave it up doesn’t mean we don’t still crave it sometimes, crave it fiercely even, sometimes. I do. Giving it up means we are super smart waihines, tough, stauch, brave, wise, fricking awsome. Our intelligence made a call to live a better ife and reap the rewards of that better life. Our intelligence tells us we would be shit arse dumb bitches if we started it up again.
      Our wisdom tells us that cravings dont’ kill you, they are put there to remind you that you need to stay on our toes, keep working on ourselves, do not become complacent. What you are doing by seeing adn talking with your counsellor is being vigilant, being honest, reaching out, acknowledging the desire is still there, but also empowering yourself at the same time. Re-inforcing to yourself all you would lose if you were to take it up again. I personally think you are propbably the biggest hero on here, you and @Iowadawn and @Ellislou and @Ro . All of you, and many others too, I know, have had such huge adversity in your lives since I have known you, I take my hat off and bow at your feet, all of you. You are a survivor @Janus2 , you do what you need to do in order to surviive. And if you get 4 or 5 weeks into your teaching job and feel overwhelmed about the other 12 still to go, you speak up, no one will die if you asks them to find someone else. Just know that going into it. Don’t worry about it now, whatever way it feels it is all going to be okay. Hae a cool time with your lovely man camping….does he wear his supermarket undies around the campsite? xoxo

      • Lol yup pretty much what you all said, little scared of relapse. Yes your right @prudence can say too much work. I think the thing that got me thinking was at last school just finished at principal asked me to do whole school swim teach from 1.30 then do privates. Its like yes i do but then its like shit i also need my time for my so impirtant exercise before early march when i start fulltime. Antwhoo councellor got me thinking. Gunna bring it up with man lol in our farkn tent and see what he says. Thanks all. Xo

        • Good old Prudence and her wisdom @janus2. I too take my hat off to you, your struggles have been great and you have managed with determination and your sick humour, plus Fatbum and your amazing man. I know it would be very easy to pick up a wine, but I know I won’t because I won’t give up all the wonderful things and people I have in my life now. Enjoy your camping and keep doing what you are doing because it ismworking and we love you and we need you here. Xoxo

      • Thank.you @Prudence your words mean so much to me

    • Oops too scared to edit it, so I hope you enjoy working through all the mistakes, probably only about as many as your post hahahaha

    • @janus2, congrats on getting so close to two year mark. interesting that you are talking about triggers. I cannot identify mine, I just know that I could easily just find myself one night just sipping on the beer and then sipping some more the next night and then my doctor would say again… let’s just check your liver. and then a few years would past and then i would hate myself some more and then i would have the same life that just wrapped around when i would get the next drink. when you look at day one to your day today, life different? i have been here just a short bit. have a great day.

    • You get to two years and there’s some satisfaction looking back on all the hurdles jumped. And you’ve had to jump more of them and higher ones than me I’d say. Sure has been great having you around, Janus and I think those schools are fortunate to have you. I’m jealous of the camping, we have our first trip of the season reserved in a Michigan state park in May, on the shore of Lake Michigan. Nice park. I’ve been thinking lately that the window is starting to close on my wilderness canoe trips. Don’t like to think that way though. It’s incentive to try to stay in shape. I’ve been saying I’m getting to old for it since I was 50, almost sixteen years ago.

    • Freakin’ love you @janus2 and your honesty. My date is 13.3 and you were what a week or so behind? We are 2 batshit sober superstars to be approaching 2 years no booze! xx

  • janus2 posted an update 5 months ago

    First up lol @iowadawn pleases dont get little bit jeally lol.
    @prudence @marmite i dont know how i caught such a good man, really and truely i dont. Today he rang and said he know i hated the house sharing with others but he needed somewhere as his work is under new ownership so bit fraught at the mo. So he has said that each weekend i dont need to stay and he will take me somewhere else, so this weekend am camping at a bay in Malborough sounds, following wkend a lodge at cracker island of Lochmara bay. Next ones he said will be a surprise. Jesus wept i have put him through so much of my shit. How do i.? Today while swim teaching at the school pool got contract at, found out got only 25 kids wtf never had that before, normally around 34. Told them mate you could actually get them flying. Niw super excited to see the growth i can make, only thing is got professional development in Feb, omg thats so farkn yawny
    But hey its $. Oh @liberty check out Derry Girls and sex education and Sinner on netflix, not sure you will like 1st 2, but it was right up my alley. I looked at flowers but still not sure. Oh what did you do with puntface today.? Hope you curled your lip at him 😉 anyway time to walk fatbum. I walk her round thos park that is full of plum trees and theyr all dropping jesus wept i have a feast. Peace out ewes lot xo

    • He sure sounds like a keeper @janus2. What a great idea to go away each weekend.
      Love those plum trees – just a shame they drop all of the fruit so quickly. Can’t keep up! (or the birds get them first)

    • Aw, your man. It’s so good to know you’ve got a goodie. 🙂
      You guys got me through today. @janus2 I’ve got Derry girls on my list and loved Sinner. Flowers took me a while too, it’s kind of desperately sad and I couldn’t get how I was meant to laugh at it but by end of series 1 was a convert. 2nd series has BiPolar. Also like W1A a lot – on demand – not sure it’ll float your boat but I reckon anyone who’s worked in a big institution would get it. xxx

    • 😀Happy for you @janus2 x

    • Wow, what fun. Mine has been full of good surprises lately – soooo left field. Love it. Not quite at your man’s level, but small things are enough for me – seem magnificent after the hopeless, narcissistic predecessors 😉

      • Ahhhh…@Morgan and @janus2…NICEEEEE☺ I am so happy for you beauties and you girls deserve the best!!!
        So janus2 you would be proud of me…I ..um…over phone call and follow up text laid it on the line with my loveeeeee. Just tonight, I did. It was good and raw and insightful. He was a dick on the phone(moments) but Morgan..he was in Afganistsn! Than..BAM unfair court. I feel heartbroken for him but DAMN IM HURTING TO. I told him he should truly take a look at himself and how sad he allows me and my 17 and 14 year olds slip away. That we are a great family. My unofficial fiance is “needing time” but he loves me but needing to chill. Well…court was over months ago. Move ON. I am hurting and he makes me feel unvalued right now. I would do anything for him
        Janus..at text I said “Yes you are correct. You said you can be an asshole and I did not used to believe you. Yes, you are CORRECT”
        So there.
        But u know I will be defeated if 7 years with him go down the tube. I think this is a detour, Morgan, not an ending. A “come to Jesus” thing. And God plan is my plan (Don’t laugh, Janis☺)
        So TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR adventure with that kick ass man of yours JANUS!!😁😁😁 I am so psyched for you, my great friend ❤ And I am jelly just A little😇

        • Go you for being brave. I have been very brave and upfront lately, but also had to step back and apologize at times for misreading situations. Lord, relationships are bloody hard.
          I guess you can take the time to “chill” too, whatever the hell that means.
          It IS a chance for us to build our strength and be independent and just learn our own rhythms. Look how strong @Janus2 became, apart so much from Wonderman.
          I am very relieved to be on my own with daughter for a bit. The Man wore me out ;).

    • Howdy super legend ! You sound super chirpy ! Nice start to 2019! ❤️

    • Aww @janus2 what an amazing guy. I want one! I romance myself these days, buy my own flowers ha ha! Glad to hear fatbum happy xx

    • so glad you have a good man… @janus2, you deserve the best! @morgan too, so glad! yay for a good man (hard to find or a hard man is good to find?)

  • janus2 posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Oh yeah @marmite, tis a bit tricky re s… 😉

  • janus2 posted an update 5 months, 1 week ago

    First up are we @marmite i hadnt even bn thinkn about it. Think im a wk after you, post then so i know;-)

  • Ellislou posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    I have also been thinking of you @Marmite and just the other day marvelling at how you have been to Betty’s bay !!
    Lots of love

  • janus2 posted an update 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    @marmite are you ok.

    • I think she is, I’ve had an email convo with her recently 😊👍🏼

    • I have also been thinking of you @Marmite and just the other day marvelling at how you have been to Betty’s bay !!
      Lots of love

    • Hi my lovelies @janus2 @ellislou yes I’m good. Still sober but not on here much. To be honest i find it hard with so many new members all the time, i can’t keep up! We’re crazy busy at the pub, I’m only working days, refused to do night shifts so I’m not stuck in the middle of drinking sessions. We’re 2 years next month jane! Xxoo

  • good morning soberinas 🙂 just to let people know, i checked this post out first with @mrs-d , especially re sharing an email address on the forum and she was happy for me to do it.

    some of us North Islanders have decided to have a regular, monthly catch up. we’ve enjoyed meeting so much, and found it so supportive of being alcohol free, that we want to do it more often!

    we would also like it to be open to *any* member of Living Sober who would like to come along and also get the benefit of making friends with other people either being alcohol free or thinking about it. my aim would be to make it a reliable, regular get together so that people can plan ahead, and know that if they come that weekend, there will be something on.

    at this stage i’m just going to share an email address that anyone can email me at, as i am going to carry on being an organiser of these get togethers (with my beautiful assistants kerris and agent99 of course 🙂 )

    if you would be keen to be kept in the loop about this regular monthly get together, please email me at soberinas@gmail.com . Please include your first name and your Living Sober name. My commitment is that i won’t use your email address for anything other than keeping you informed about LS get togethers. If you prefer not to have your email address shared in group emails, please let me know (i can always bcc you) – otherwise i will assume you are OK about being a recipient of group emails.

    i think the first North Island get together that we’ll be organising will probably be in February 2019. so flick me an email and get on the mailing list 🙂 🙂 🙂
    i’ll also post this at a few different times of day so lots of different people get to see it – so if you see this post more than once, you know that’s the reason why, and i haven’t gone nuts 😀

    lots of love,

    enzedgirl xxx

    just tagging a couple of people who i know might be interested in Auckland get togethers @mtedenmummy @sonicgirl @treehugger @stopthatsnotme @pooks45

    I would love to join you. But I’m here in Canada. Maybe another year. x

  • What a great idea, good on you xx

  • emailed you 🙂 such a fabulous idea!

  • janus2 posted an update 6 months ago

    @prudence yes everything gone. They took possession 13th. So imagine moi over last 3 weeks, man did take 2 weeks off though. Looking at a property in the Moutere Valley, its pretty cool eh. Lol but i would have to work as bit isolated sort off but i coulddo it, plus schools around. Am staying with a friend till end of week, just to finish up at school. Then when i come back for swim school and 16 wk stint teaching in Picton been offered rm with ensuite and spare room with own entrance in Picton from a friend. So beeen slightly overwhelmed to say the least, semi ok head space. Although seriously miss man, needs must at the mo, still got to get thru stupid teacher council hearing in Feb, but my union re lawyer said dont panic, WTF. Cant believe this shit been going on all farkn year. Anywhoo just got back frm morning of swim teaching. School tomorrow to clean up the shit other teacher left, its beyond a cleaners duty.! Lol dont get me started!! 😉 fukn shithead, going for walk up hill to get gluteous maximus sorted then a 4k walk. Sounds as though all good with Frances, you be ok, your good at doing ghost trick when you need, like me i.e disappear. Do tell you this lol been luckey been self controlled on ringing you 😉 . Haven’t heard frm @marmite where for art though???? Right up that farkn hill.oh by the way you will love moutere valley. Peace the fuk out. Xo♡

    • Heya @Janus2 yeah Brenda and her man Iain live in Lower Moutere, quite close to town. I will come up there and stay with her and come and see you if you like. Ring me up, no worries. Yeah that other teacher sounds like a dead loss, glad she’s got you to keep her on her toes. Exciting looking for a new home. So much to offer up there. Don’t go get yourself stuck way out in the bush if that is not what you want. I fancy the idea of you being able to walk around the
      town, getting involved in things, finding opportunities, making friends. You’re going to love it over there. I worry that the 4month stint in Picton is too long away from your man when just moving into new home and all. Is it necessary? Good to hear from ya xoxo Ring me xo

  • janus2 posted an update 6 months, 1 week ago

    @marmite just you popped to my head as final touch ups to farkn school reports. How the fuck are ya? Also where the fuck are ya @mrwtf you have been m.i.a for some time.

  • mullycatNZ posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Our very own @marmite features in an episode, I think its Ep #169

  • janus2 posted an update 7 months ago

    Mmm need to get mixture of thoughts out here, going bit batshit crazy ruminating! A) think sold property, B) man found rental @ro in Riwaka by estuary. C) class told im not back next yr, shit 1 girl cried and 1 boy went “oh no” rest just looked at me. Got a male teacher and ya no why lol so he can join the volunteer fire fighters true dat 😉 ha junior room teacher resigned today omg. Last week got rung by another principal i taught with 7 yrs ago asking would i teach 18 wks nxt yr,. Talked it over with man, gunna do it as i have still got this teacher council shit going on, for fucks sake, hearing in Feb. All this shit for driving whilst revoked for medical condition, farkn dumb cunts aye @prudence . Why fuck dont going after dumb cunt teachers. Anywhoo went to see principal today and it was like old time, effing and blinding in his office. Hes on on sabatical to finish his masters and D.P filling in. Went to her room and i felt like saying, clean ya farkn room, get ya kids off bean bags, get some farkn desks. P introduced me to young male teacher and i thought yr limp wrist so gave him hard handshake. P said this is Janus, she was my senior teacher, young limp wrist was thinkn shit i do believe. And i was thinkn i got yr number mate you lazy cunt. 23 farkn hell and hes useless as i had to tutor 1 of his students. Its like “i am a male teacher, i have a penis therefore i am god”. Then Willem(principal ) asked if am keen to do swim school in hols, as parents asking if am back. I did it in 2017 hols. Before those farkn real bad dizzy spells. How did i get or deserve my man, he said go for it. So part frm reports, assessments coming out ears to mark and camp in a wk, this been going on and feel overwhelmed. Tomight want to get slaughtered. But late so wont. Man and i used to being apart but its not much fun for me, i miss the humour. Banter, fucking and blinding. Whoops just threw a stone at this arsehole ferrel cat, score he just screamed, farkn marking…[Read more]

    • Soooooo much happening e hoa… Po Marie, more tomorrow.xxxx hoping you get your much needed beauty sleep.me too

    • Wow. That was one meaty post ! Good to catch up with you @Janus2 your Christmas holidays sound way better than anyone I’ve heard yet.
      You’re really killing it on all fronts @Janus2, miss you girl. xx

    • Nice to see you @Janus2! That’s a lot going on!

    • Although it’s a hell of a lot to hold in your head just now I think it sounds like a great plan @janus2

      I read it carefully and it doesn’t seem like taking on too much.

      I had to laugh, I did have a vision of a giant sister chowing down on a poor helpless little turtle at first 😀

    • What do I think? Well I think you’re moving, for one thing. And I think you sound good, and I’m pleased about that. The teaching; it’s like you get to choose the right fit for you. And kids know a good teacher when they see one. I really believe that, they sense it. I couldn’t do it, I’m not a good disciplinarian, they’d run all over me. But as to one other observation of yours, I’m not sure god has a penis, and I’m in no hurry to find out. So what’s this camping, I’m still stuck on finding that one out.

  • IslandOne posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Nice feedback from the Dr there, @marmite!

  • Trace posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    haha, awesome @Marmite, you liver lover you! xx

  • Gojo posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Yay @marmite ! Day 614 for me today! And yep AF 4 EVA!

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