• janus2 posted an update 1 month ago

    Ya know what I am fucking over this rain in Marlborough, cant cycle, cant hill climbs so…. over it, all am doing is watching Janet King on Netflix!!!!!! Where are you @reena and thanks for your messages, mean heaps. Three thing in the pipeline, apply for 3 short term teaching jobs, al in chch which would be or checking out more about this swimming job in Motueka that sounds promising. OR apply for a teaching job in Samoa, something different aye, 2-3 yr contracts and teaches are gods over there. 🙂 Oh and finally got email today from man ohhhh he sending all my stuff, over, little does he know I might be there, crak up…justice cunt.
    Anyway Im exhausted hope rain ends soon. Peace out all. hows it hanging @enzedgirl @liberty @prudence @marmite. Also still thinking of you @oceania 🙂

    • Samoa sure sounds like an adventure. Kind of far away from everybody though, could you handle that? Two years isn’t too long. I suppose if they treat their teachers like gods, you get good medical insurance.

    • Good to see you back here! I know you’ll do what is best for you.

    • Hey you, I’m having a little weep after reading kitten’s beautiful post up above. Sunday morning meh’s kicking in. But actually yesterday was a good day for me, got in the garden a little and wasn’t a total ball of pain afterwards. Just being able to do that and not writing myself off in the process cheered me up no end. Today probably can be good too.
      With the jobs, what would set you up to fail the least @janus2? By which I mean, where do you think your resilience is at. A big risk means a big payoff if it works out and also potentially a bigger crash if it doesn’t. What would be kindest for you right now? Just things to ponder. Hope it goes ok with man…

    • Oh ‘ullo darling nice to see you here! And great to see you looking onwards and upwards.

      I’m good, we’ve spent the week down at my auntie’s, rode past our house on Pipi Ave a few times, remembering that nice weekend we had here.

      Thinking of organizing a gathering in Spring time, north island, would you be up for it if you’re in NZ?

    • Keen as mustard!

  • janus2 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Oh am here @robynb not been on much just bit of shit going on e.g man and i have split, out of the farkn blue aye. Didnt go to Noumea but the cunt took another chick! Lol i rang the place and a chick answered. Been a bit bawly?
    But pulling self together slowly. Just yrying to gather my thoughts and regroup aye. I be ok had lots of support from @prudence @marmite jesus wept and many others! So no alaska! I have been wondering weather it was my health that he was over with and other shit! Possibly due to my years of boozing am always have health issues, actually i just dont know!!! So anywhoo…. all i can do is regroup, exercise? and do some deep thinking. As i have if i didnt have so many people rooting for me, 1st time in my life! Hoping that people whove helped me recently @liberty etc i appreciate sooo much. Right meds and bed. Love ya, thanks for shout out xo

    • Maybe he’s just an asshole. Ok, he might be ok in some ways but that is crappy to Do You that way. Anyway, love you dear lady. If you aren’t coming here, I have coming there in my bucket list. I want to go on a bike ride with you, though it might be the death of me, lol.

      • Frog replied 1 month ago

        I’m with robynb, @janus2. He’s a dickhead. You know, we all can be kind, etc etc. But, if someone really loves you, he’ll stick by you. (This doesn’t apply to sticking by an abuser…). I’ll wager, if you really look back, you’ll see a lot of red flags you maybe ignored.

  • Treehugger posted an update 1 month ago

    Ata marie ki a koutou / Good morning everyone. I’ve had an extended break from the members feed but have been enjoying back on here again this week. I think in the earlier days I would reach out for support from other people by posting on here, whereas now I feel like I gain just as much support from reading other’s posts and replying to them by sharing my experiences. Maybe that’s part of the journey? A shout out to @bondi, @Prudence, @Normaleelucid, @Marmite, @Janus2, @Tom4500, @enzedgirl, @Agent99, @oceania, @Temperance, and a friend from the south who I think may have have changed their handle name, and the many others who I have probably missed, thinking of you all and a big thank you to you all for being a huge support to me since I joined this place. Can’t believe I am at 2 1/2 yrs sober now. Holy shit what a ride it’s been. Arohanui ki a koutou xo

    • Kia ora e hoa, nice to see you here. I’ve also been away from the site, but feeling drawn back again to support and share with all the amazing sober warriors on here, no matter where in the journey we all are. 2 and a half years sober, yee har, go you super star xx

    • 2 1/2 years sober is so inspiring. I for one really appreciate the advise and support from some of you “long timers”

    • Yes, I’m just getting back in to it too after being overseas for several weeks. It takes a bit to reorient but once you start reading the Sober Stories and the members feed it, doesn’t take long before, you’re feeling right at home. Ata po ki a koe Treehugger.

    • Reading the posts of those that have been in it for the long haul helps me out so so much. Amazing, I can’t wait to be 2 1/2 years sober too. 🙂

    • Hey there @Treehugger good to see you and thanks for the shout out. I’ve been off site for quite a while too while I went overseas and haven’t got fully back into it yet, been a tad busy. Me and Normaleelucid hit 5 years tomorrow Yee Haa! Have a glorious fun fabulous weekend xoxo

    • @tom4500 and @enzedgirl – Sorry I did reply to your replies earlier but lost them when I had to delete and repost because I couldn’t edit a mistake I’d made…anyhoo, yes a get together sounds awesome, and @tom4500, I love to weed when it’s been raining cause I reckon they are much easier to pull out! 🙂

      • That’s alright hon, I’ve been having a few odd things like that recently too …

    • Great to hear from you @Treehugger xx

    • Hey @treehugger lovely to hear from you lady ! Congrats on 2 1/2 years !!!

  • janus2 posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    @seizetheday not sure how i do it but i just keep getting up. Funniest thing is a couple of days ago, emailed school in Samoa, they replied just now, saying send in c.v. not told @prudence @marmite @liberty and others lol YET. I did it on a whim..as knew there were jobs there. I am good, just thoughts all over place and not bipolar thoughts just what..where to thoughts. I also thank mum and dad, who i am thinking of lots bout..that i got the ability to say way back..i will proove i am worth it! I have my teaching, and my swim teaching..all of which can only help me move past this… i will do it..but think this is the last time to try aye. If this flops, so will I. Does that make sense? Anyway sun is out, time for a cycle. Get those fat little thighs moving. Kiss fuckafuckas arse for me lol. Joking, god i hated that hobbiton town lol. Xoxo

    • You do just keep getting up @janus2. You really always keep trying to find a way forward which I admire a lot. Stay strong, friend.

    • Charge ahead @janus2 – we’ve all learnt to rock on even when we have no idea how the hell we’re going to do it. The important thing is keeping momentum. And yes hang on to those things inside of you that your mum and dad have instilled. No one can steal that from you. It’s nice to hear from you, I went into fuckafucka the other day to have lunch with my daughter. Don’t miss it a bit.
      Happy cycling and big hugs xo

    • I think it’s cool @janus2. Why not explore it. An application is not a decision, it’s just an application. And you won’t flop, even if it doesn’t work out. It might feel like that now, but you won’t. You’d better give up being so fattist if you’re going to teach in Samoa though lady; you’ll be surrounded by so much delicious coconut-rich, carbohydrate dense food…. 😀

    • No harm in applying. Great you have your career skills. I’m too old and crusty to use mine as a hairdresser. Shit pay for sore feet and worn out shoulders. Don’t know how Stylie does it.

    • Good to hear you are out on that bike @janus2 !

    • thinking of you @janus2.

    • Not sure how I feel about you going all the way over there, but guess it doesn’t hurt to put it in the mix. Could be a bit tricky if the bi polar ever flared up, but I guess they must have the means to help there just like here. Me and my brother Al are wanting to visit a friend there some time, so could come and check on you @Janus2. Your own swim school business in Mot would be better though and it’s do-able xoxo

  • jennah posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I’ve decided to go for the 100 days @marmite. DaveH just wrote an interesting post. I think I need to focus on future benefits instead of instant gratification. Funny that he posted about that. It’s been on my mind for the last couple of days 🙂
    I’m finding one thing very strange about this site. People seem to reply once and that’s it. There is not much ongoing discussion between people. Am I wrong about that? How were you able to find connection here? (if you don’t mind me asking) Thanks for your lovely reply. Day 2 is done 🙂 Off to bed early for me 🙂

  • janus2 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Bit of a bitch aye @mrs-d not think i can share on here much as its changed a tad but i will share. @prudence @marmite knoe but thats it at this point. Suffice to say all bit pear shape. I WILL GET THROUGH, not happily maybe but will. Xo

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    great reply @marmite!! xxx

  • jennah posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    @sober4real, @andian, @dixiemama, @annec,@leslielily, @rubyroo,@marmite, @hammer123. Thank-you all so much for your kind words and good advice!! I will reread and think about what to try next. I’m thinking that on-line counselling might be a good next step for me. I have a friend who is doing that. I will talk to her today. Thanks also for the encouragement to keep trying. Today is Day 1.

  • janus2 posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Ya know right now i want to turn to old timers.@tom4500 want to bawl..@mrs-d @bondi @prudence @marmite @enzedgirl @morgan @pearl @seizetheday @trace @liberty i need help big time, i swore not to come on here, as been so good. Now not, not drinking, cant sleep, wana drink.. keep crying.. 2 of you know why. Now i have no life.. no goals..no place to call home. In my head am going.. cant believe was such a dick..just keep crying regardless of double meds I’d stashed.

    • Don’t know you Janus2. But sending you love. This too shall pass.

    • Hey you precious thing. I’m so sorry it’s all awful. I wish I could wrap you up and just put you in my pocket for a wee bit.
      I’m trying to piece things together as to what’s happening. Please please please just sit tight right now my dear. I understand why you’d want the relief of booze to block it all out. But don’t add more mess please my dear. You are hugely precious to us. There’s people that need you, and things still to be done in your life that you need a sober brain for. Hope you can reply soon xo

    • Hey hey our Janus what’s going on hon? I know things have been very tough recently but this sounds like something else has happened – a turn for the worse? Thinking of you darl, don’t drink, it only makes shit much shitter.

      @morgan @prudence @mrs-d !!!

    • Big hug to you from across the globe, @janus2.

    • @janus2 big hugs lady.

    • Hold tight @janus and look after yourself. Make yourself your top priority, lots of self care. Lots of love , hugs and strength from me to you hunxx

    • Here too thinking of you. xx

    • Sorry things have taken a turn for the worse @janus2. I am holding positive thoughts for you and hope something great happens for you shortly. I have missed you and your posts!!!

    • Ring me again when you wake up @janus2 and we will try together to find something positive in this appalling situation. I’ve never in my life known anyone who goes through so many extreme challenges as you do. The only upside to that is it makes you one he’ll of a strong lady, even when your heart aches real bad. Thank you for reaching out to us, we are your friends. Don’t you forget that. There is a way through this. Big hugs and much love and tenderness and care. We are all here for you. It is OK to spill it all out on here. A Bude shared is a burden halved as my dear departed Mum used to say xxx

    • burden

    • @janus2 – I’m so sorry to hear you are in pain. Not sure why you swore not to come on here, but we love to hear from you. Glad to hear you haven’t drank because if there is one thing I know for sure, drinking alcohol doesn’t help any situation. Happy, sad, angry, grief, regret – none of those emotions are helped by having a drink. Hang tight lovely xoxo

    • Can only imagine what’s up, Janus but I’ll tell you this…everything seems the worst right after the storm. And, everybody is a dick sometimes, so don’t kick yourself too hard for being human. It doesn’t feel like it, I’m sure, but already you’re picking up the pieces. There’s lots of us around who love you, including the little ones we’re all so fond of. Give it a little time. Things will work out.

    • Sending love to you @janus2! I don’t know what’s happened. You light my world from afar. xoxoxoxo

    • Oh f%$ing hell @Janus2. I’m so sorry you’re in so much pain. Call Lizzi!

    • I’m so glad you posted @janus2, you know there are so many of us who want to be there for you when things get rough. I’m just so sorry sweetheart that you are going through it all again. Yup we’re all dicks sometimes, go easy on yourself please. Easy to say I know. Keep posting if you can. Lots of love xxx

    • @janus2, you are much loved! Keep posting please, this community is here for you as much as it ever has been. Big emotions coming at you but you have built your sober muscles so hugely over the past few years so you can weather this storm. Dig deep lovely, big hugs x

    • @janus2, remember the goat track? The mountain. The view? The fresh air. Never, ever give up. It’s ALWAYS worth it. You’ve got us goats walking with you. Aren’t we a bunch? Wiry, resilient, resourceful. Kooky. Slightly weird and wired. We love you. Be brave xxx

    • I’ve got a little ditty for you. If emperors run the empires, and kings are in charge of kingdoms, then who runs the countries? I don’t much know what to say when you are distressed but I’m here to say you are very valued and special to many. Take care and accept the help being offered by all the wonderful people here. xxxx

    • I’m glad you came here. You always have us xx

    • Keep reaching out darling Jane, we’re all here for you xx

    • Wtf. Love you, dunno what happened but love you and want so much for you to be feeling well and happy. 💚💚💚.

    • love to you, @janus2

    • Hope you are okay @janus2 – you have a lot of support. Just hang in there! Sending positive vibes your way.

    • I bloody love you @janus2 from a big old distance – so sorry things are horrible and tough. All strength and positive thoughts to you. Keep going, breath by breath…and we’re here xx

    • Good god hon, missed this – look at how far you have come already – like in two, no, three days. There will be horrible hours and days – I know this all too bloody well, both situations apart from the extra violence laid on, both so long ago, but there are times when it is pretty overwhelming. (Thank god for brain-take-over training) XXXXX Grab all the support you can, from wherever/whoever is caring – and come down if you can or want to XXXXX have bed

  • Noodle71 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    @marmite thanks for that I am still finding my way around so will suss those out! X

  • mindfuljo posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @marmite. I would absolutely love that. Just let me know how I can get in touch!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    We do get together, though far too rarely. Now we have to, to meet you 🙂 !!! @Mrs-D will give you my email and I will link you in. Time for a Winter soup gathering perhaps @Prudence (to farewell you?) @marmite, @mullycatnz, @begoodtomyself, @MsLsober, @Oceania, who am I missing?
    I hope you get better very soon and have a good nurse to care for you?

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yeah you’re not going to know yourself when you get into that cool new house @Marmite, it is such a big buzz to have created something from the ground up. I t will be amazing for your whole family. All power to ya xoxo

  • Mrs D posted an update 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks everyone for your lovely messages yesterday on my sad news. It was so lovely to see the notifications trickle in all day. What a special community this is, such a simple concept.. putting people together and fostering kindness and non-judgemental support as we learn how to live without numbing ourselves. So very special and I thank each and every one of you for being here. @marmite I forgot of course you knew about my MIL from her work in Lyttelton! She taught new entrants there for over 20 years so will be well known in the community. Such a fantastically warm, wise, loving and giving woman. Off to pick up Mr D from the airport this morning.. he’s coming home to rest for a few days then we’ll all head back down to CHCH for the funeral at the end of the week. I cannot wait to see him. My mum is also having a hip operation this week and will be in hospital also in CHCH so it really is a time for honouring and giving back to our parents. I often think that this phase of life – our 40’s and thereabouts – is such a busy time with kids becoming teenagers, parents ageing, our careers being busy, our own health being important. Just busy busy busy and tired tired tired and what a fantastic time to be sober!!!! I’d like to say a huge THANK YOU to the me of 7 1/2 years ago that decided to kick shit booze to the curb. What a fantastic decision!!! Anyone who works to get sober is a bloody legend and that means all of you so lets all give ourselves virtual high fives and keep striving to live our best lives. Hugs to all xxx

    • Sincere condolences Lotta

    • My condolences to you and your family for your loss.

    • Lots of love to you all. And strength and good healing thoughts for your Mum. XXXXX

    • Love to you and Mr D, and best wishes for your mum’s op xx

    • Morning Lotta…. well done for being present for yourself and your family at this sad time. For being available to them and supportive…..and for processing it all authentically and naturally. It’s a sad time but also a chance to reflect and celebrate her life.

    • Sure is a great time to be sober, wish I was smart enough to do it in my forties, but all the same I’ll thank the me that thought better late than never nearly 5 years ago. And I’ll thank you too for giving me the idea and the community in which to do it. You will be strong and amazing this week. That is how you roll. Let your tears flow. Power to ya xoxo

    • Sending you all lots of love and strength as you go through this sad time ❤️❤️❤️

    • Just saw the news, my sympathy to you and your family for your loss. Not sure I could decide to go home and accept. Many say they would, then when the time comes, it’s too hard. She must have been a strong and brave woman. Helen Keller once said something like “all that we once loved we can can never lose, because everything we love becomes part of us” or something like that. And I believe that, I think our loved ones continue to influence us, even after they cross over that line between this world and the next.

    • Sending big hugs. Xoxo

    • Aw thinking of you @mrs-d 🙁 lots of love to you all xxx

    • My prayers for you all. Even in such sad times you are a shining light to us@mrs-d. She must have been so proud of you.

    • All love and strength to you and yours, lovely! xx

    • Yes, I’m am happy to say @mrs-d that one of my daughters was taught by her.
      She was an incredible lady, they have started a book of condolences at the school
      Much love to you xo

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    @marmite I have a cousin with an on and off again addiction, who did go through odyssey house here in Auckland. Don’t have much contact recently to offer any update on how he found it. However, read a book you may find interesting called “A very fine house: a mothers story of love, faith and crystal meth”. The book is very enlightening and heartbreaking about sitting on the outside wanting to help someone who is incredibly deep into her addiction.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @Marmite Whereabouts in the country are you looking in terms of treatment options? Until you find somewhere suitable (yes, this may take weeks) what are you doing with him? Are there NA meetings in your area? Please be careful with Doctors… if they don’t understand addiction they can intervene with medication in ways that are really unhelpful. If the doctor recommends diazapan then check that they understand what they’re doing. Here is a meeting list for Narcotics anonymous. It’s definately worth a try: http://www.nzna.org/meetings-lists/

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @marmite If you talk to someone with a meth problem about your own addiction they will get it. If you talk about what happened to your mind, your emotions and feelings they will completely understand you and you will strike empathy straight away. Just change up “alcoholism” to “addiction” and never specifically mention booze.

    Meth makes precisely the same mess of peoples’ minds as alcohol does and their challenges in recovery are the same except you may have one more hurdle with a meth user… attention span. For about the first month or so they only have a very short attention span… so keep the messages brief and the listening long. You are attempting to get them to go “me too!” in their minds when you describe what happened to you, and when they talk about themselves you keep confirming “me too!” to them. This breaks their isolation and they become able to open up and speak more honestly.

    As with all recovery options, none is worthwhile until they are committed to drastic change. When they ARE ready then all therapy options will work. It’s about the timing not the treatment. So your immediate challenge is to foster acceptance and willingness. Good luck. Meth is a tough one.

    • Thank you @daveh . Yes, my husband opened up to him about his oxycontin addiction and i have been open about my alcohol addiction. He wants help. He wants to quit again. He can see that it’s destroying his life. I’m so proud of him for being honest about what’s really going on. We’ve had a few issues with his attitude and it’s all starting to make sense now, the mood swings, the egomania ( he’s a chef so initially that didn’t worry me too much!) I’m quickly trying to educate myself

      • Hi @Marmite Whereabouts in the country are you looking in terms of treatment options? Until you find somewhere suitable (yes, this may take weeks) what are you doing with him? Are there NA meetings in your area? Please be careful with Doctors… if they don’t understand addiction they can intervene with medication in ways that are really unhelpful. If the doctor recommends diazapan then check that they understand what they’re doing. Here is a meeting list for Narcotics anonymous. It’s definately worth a try: http://www.nzna.org/meetings-lists/

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    there’s some great information on here @marmite https://drughelp.org.nz/a-bit-about-drugs/meth I don’t know much about rehabs etc but there’s a helpline here and the people there will know more. Sounds tough x

  • Hello team. I’m alll tuckered out here and keep falling asleep in the big orange chair……an early night on the cards for me I’m thinkng. What a great bunch of beautiful sober warriors I’ve had the privilege of spending time with all weekend. So pleased everyone seems to have had a good time, plenty of laughing, far too much eating, talking till the cows came home, so nice to touch each other’s lives in this way. It makes drinking look so stupid really. Drinkers would probably think the opposite….like how do you have a weekend catch up like that with no booze, what’s the point? where’s the fun? Well we could all show them a thing or three! The point is being so fricking clued up we don’t need some dumb altered state to connect and laugh and talk and listen and care and support and celebrate our freindships. I so love who we all are without alcohol in our lives. @enzedgirl @oceania @morgan @mullycatnz @ange @janus2 @scared @begoodtomyself @emjaycee @Trace @gojo @Marmite @rise2015 @Soberstylist Thank you all for coming, thank you for my beautiful gift that I can hardly wait to get Rory to figure out how to put on the wall, and thank you all of you who didn’t come but wished us well. Feeling blessed. Good night xoxo

  • good evening soberinas 🙂 just back from the gathering down in Christchurch. very grateful for the beautiful weather, lovely homes to stay in, the connection and togetherness, far too much delicious food, amazing music. i also caught up with a friend who we don’t often see here any more, and had the chance to meet his lovely family which was a little bit like the delicious icing on the scrumptious cake ❤️

    i was also very grateful to see how far Christchurch has come along in the two years since i was last there. the city was alive with people, beautiful new buildings, the river is just stunning. so lovely to spend a little bit of time there.

    sleep well all, back to it tomorrow xxx

    @prudence @janus2 @scared @begoodtomyself @ange @trace @rise2015 @gojo @marmite @morgan @oceania @mullycatnz @emjaycee

    • Lol @enzedgirl didnt say bye, but you know i did aye. I am still laughing bout walking into that farkn door. @oceania said with that white thing on did i think i was a bird.! Was also thinkn of your new job and i think you will be fab, as you dont fark around lol. So go you. Not said it before but i do admire you, from a ditz like me. Lol, yes bag left behind.. walk into sliding door… oh what else. @Ange love ya, you been 1 of my rocks. @trace give me your black pants and blue top lol. Lol nice to hear, i am exactly as you imagined lol lol. So going to fuck the punt off after a huge weekend which i loved, true friendships, based on like minds. Xo xo

      • I can’t tell you how much that means to me Janus.

        I admire you too, I really do.

        But fuck I thought I would wee my pants when you walked into that big old pane of glass, thank Christ you didn’t hurt yourself 😂😂😂

        Have a great week hon xxx

        • yes admire you, as you have been through the ringer yourself. So for that in your past did ot for me. Love you loads. Tehe no pain no gain, from window pain
          Nite xo

      • @janus2 I just loved meeting you, but next time I’m gonna make sure we talk a bit more! I’m so glad somebody else walks into glass doors its kinda one of my specialties, nearly did it this time around too. I have to admit you weren’t completely how I’d imagined you…you are even better in the flesh….

    • It was an amazing, amazing weekend! I love you all to pieces and am so very glad I came! ❤️ Thank you for having me xx

    • Sounds like you had an amazing weekend away with great memories ❤️❤️❤️

      • It was really great timid, wish you were there. There’s a real drive to keep these get togethers going, maybe even twice a year, so I really hope you can make the next one. We’ll have to jimmy the dates!

  • Normaleelucid posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Just saw this @Marmite. How cool! So proud of you xox

  • @prudence @morgan @marmite @begoodtomyself @emjaycee @tim everyone else in Chch please let us know that you are all OK when you can xoxoxox

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Good on ya @Marmite Wowie 2 whole years. So cool! Flippin marvellous xoxox

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats @marmite. I look forward to catching up soon xx

  • Gojo posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    OMG @marmite that means that I missed my 2 years yesterday! Our son and d-i-l are over for a quick trip from Europe so I have been busy having a good time with them. I think having them here is a wonderful 2 year present. Looking forward so much to meeting up with so many LS people at at the end of the month!

  • Jocord posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats on 2 full, wonderful AF years @marmite!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    @marmite congratulations on your fantastic accomplishment!

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    well said @marmite.

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    congrats @marmite, used to be a beautiful dog nose right? going to miss that one. 🙂 2 years is supposed to be a good milestone, you have done everything twice now WITHOUT alcohol. congrats. again.

  • robynb posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Ah, so great @marmite! Huge congratulations to you!

  • IslandOne posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Congratulations, @marmite! You were one of my first inspirations on this site!

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    you’re my sober hero @marmite ❤️💕

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats @marmite! Love how you express the what ifs. Very inspiring!

  • Liberty posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    So wonderful @marmite 🙂 Feels longer! You’re a star.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    So, so good @marmite, 2 years is amazing. Great that you have stuck to the change to AF.

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Can’t wait! Rock on over any of the Chch lot – @begoodtomyself? @prudence, @mslsober, @marmite, @emjaycee, @Weeraca, @mullycat, @Oceania? Who else? Too early for my poor brain to function

  • Hello brave bold heroes! Thanks for the shout out @Morgan I’ve been missing in action for quite a few days now. Things just got a bit hectic, back and forth to the city, getting the rental sorted, massive job, all done now and tenants in, and it looks pretty mint and that feels like a huge achievement. Also new tenants signed up for Recliffs, both lots on one year leases and very stable people. Phew! I hosted book club here last night and broke my Keto diet for the first time in 25 days @morgan. I hadn’t even cheated once before that. I am quite pissed off with it to be honest because I haven’t lost any weight and I’ve been SO GOOD, it’s not fair and I’m a bit over it. I had a crack at @Marmite‘s vegetarian sausage rolls last night, they’re not as good as hers but pretty good none the less. So once I’d scoffed about 3 of them I thought I might as well have a piece of the hazelnut cake that the lady up the road bought,with whipped cream. The Keto is ok at home but difficult when out to find something without meat that has no carbs or sugar, so I usually just starve till I get home. If anything I am sleeping better most nights @Morgan. I’ve been invited to go to France and have the free use of guest accommodation upstairs from my friend’s house. My friend who was going to go with me has decided not to go now, so I’m trying to figure out if I should just go on my own or leave it out altogether. Anyone fancy a wee adventure? It is the second trip to Europe I’ve planned lately, the first one (with Francis) I lost a lot of money on when I cancelled. Luckily I haven’t booked flights for this one yet as was just in planning stage. Weather is getting cooler, wish I could have done our gathering in the really hot months but life was just too hectic in my crazy little caravan world, and also the accommodation business here has been very busy, sometimes guests seven or eight days in a row. Well none of this has much to do with booze does it now? Except for the fact…[Read more]

  • Mtedenmummy posted an update 6 months ago

    Evening all,

    Drizzly ol evening here, MtEdenMr is out for a work dinner and kidlets are watching Harry Potter and eating pizza. I tried to summon up my sober best friend @SueK style so made myself a delish salmony, gingery, coriandery salad lol Pizza smells bloody good though…

    8 years ago today since the Christchurch earthquakes. Thinking of all of you folk down there, what a mad time. I read today about the so called quake kids, who all have messed up stress hormones etc. Wow I hope we can help them to stay away from addiction, no doubt there will be many who struggle in the years to come.

    Thought I would share something that has been helping me lately. The circling inner voice of the wine wolf is still with me often (although now it might whisper – “nah, have the pizza” instead of “buy two bottles of wine, even if you only plan to drink one glass”…). About two years ago @marmite and I started to imagine ourselves wearing a wolfskin coat… a big f-off, kick butt, middle finger to wolfie!!! Recently I have started to see the self care that I need to maintain if I want to stay sober as putting on my wolfskin coat. I literally imagine my diet, sleep, exercise, mindfulness etc as pulling on my armour…a big regal, protective, Cruella de Ville style coat to protect me from wolfie. I think it has helped me reframe those habits from some boring, dumb thing that other people dont have to do (mutter mutter grumble grumble sulk) into a really positive empowering thing. And I think that having an image to focus on helps me too. I dunno…might help someone!

    Hope you all have lovely weekend plans. Not much outside standard kid’s sport, birthdays etc on the agenda here but that’s fine with me 🙂

    x x

  • janus2 posted an update 6 months ago

    @jocord i know right, how dare she be on the road same time as me!!!!! So rude! 🙂 Roaadds all clear of dumbarses today phew 😉
    @enzedgirl i reached 2 yrs about a mnth ago aye. Just quietly stoked, @marmite and i were very close in days, so both at 2 yrs 🙂

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    I think @Gojo is coming too, I think some more accommodation might be required. Did you get hold of @Marmite about that top bunk I mentioned Rise? @Enzedgirl I think Kitty’s house is available, but just a bit more hideously priced than it was in 2017, it’s on Bachcare. It is their only income now and her husband had to retire as he has that awful illness like Mac007 has. Be great to see you ladies here xx

  • Good morning warriors. I have a little trouble with the site sometimes if I look at a comment reply on one device (like my phone) then go to another device to reply the message has gone. Anyway lucky I can remember the numbers after the name coz usually I wouldn’t. @Rise2015 never too late to join in, we would love to meet you. To the best of my knowledge there has been a bit of a shuffle around with the accommodation already booked, which is just one house. I believe there is a top bunk available in a room shared with @MullycatNZ and @Oceania. The person to ask about this would be @Marmite. A gorgeous day again today, a big fire risk here in the south island, total fire bans. Supposed to get to 32 degrees Celsius. Got some guests just surfacing. I’ve been up, had a long soak in the bath, washed my hair, been for a big walk, pulled some weeds, watered my sister’s vege garden, and commenced some book keeping but then got on here instead. Such is the life of a sober queen haha!! I’m waiting till 10am to have breakfast as I’m trying intermittent fasting alongside my keto eating, so I keep myself busy coz I’m hungry. I am on my 11th day and I have not lost even a smidgeon of weight and I’m highly pissed off, I haven’t cheated even once, so I wonder what I am doing wrong. Oh well, there is so much else to be happy about that I’ll let that pass for the moment. If it doesn’t start dropping off in bulk soon I will never try another diet in my lifetime, I’ve had a guts full of trying so hard on and off over the last few years and nothing makes a difference. I am even going for big walks! It must be something to do with being old!!! and short!!! hahaha oh well….over and out. Booze sucks! xoxo

    • Whos old and short??? 🙂 you are not neither or fat, sorry to disappoint you! Now seriously here have you tried pilates, hard to start off with but its just strengthning your core. You tube it. Really diets dont work, well thats my belief xo why suffer then get pissed off lol. Oh its 10.40 breakfast passed, gobbled and happy camper 😉 xo

    • @Prudence, I hear you as I’m having same issue! But, also.agree with @Janus2, when I was attending my pilates/Barre class 2 times.per week, the weight came right off with changing anything else. But I quit that club so I’m on my own now, dang.

    • Do you have a nice sea breeze over there? It is mercifully not getting too high here but I am having a nap with iced face cloths just in case lol
      Are you in ketosis? That is number 1. Usually 2-4 kilos just vanish from water loss as each carb molecule has 3-4 Ho2 s. Cut carbs and we lose that water. + you should not be hungry at all, that is the beauty of this way of eating! Maybe a bit while fasting… What does Georgia say?
      It can be very slow at our age remember. I have done 28 weeks and only just 10 kg. Lots of stalls. Moving down again now which is very exciting as I have discovered much fat is still, left ARRGGHHHH Need some serious exercise to tone up now. Too much work. I do swim with the kids almost every day, but not enough, and too stressful.
      Don’t quit, just eat more fat 😍

      • Yes I am in ketosis. I pee on a keto stick each morning @Morgan. Will keep persevering. Thanks. Hot here but loving it xx

        • Good woman, dont give up – not yet. And it is amazing for energy & clarity – not that you seem to need any more of either. Do you feel good? No keto flu?

  • @Gojo I can’t find the right place to reply, but yes you are welcome to come to the gathering here. My house is already full, but I know some of the ChCh crew have booked a bach up the road, I’m thinking they may have a spare couch bed but not entirely sure. @Marmite would be the one to ask. And if that fails, or if you want to leave it loose till closer to the time, then I’m sure there will be some hosted accommodation available, or a cabin at the camping ground or something. Nothing is far away. Have a good night x

    • Great thanks @prudence

      • Would be wise to book early or get included on the accomodation messenger group or Living Healthy FB page – link in with others renting. Has someone got your email Etc? @mrs-d links us up if desired

        • Hi @morgan I am on the Living Healthy page from when I hoped to make it to an earlier Chch meeting and have posted there yesterday. How do I get onto the accom messenger group?

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    I like your thinking @marmite ❤️

  • Prudence posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @enzedgirl and @Marmite and @Timidwarrior and @Agent99 and @Cinderella ….while I was away in the city today I was looking in my dairy, and I can’t do this weekend after all, so will make it the following one. There is a music event on over at Okains Bay and a girlfriend is coming down from Napier for it and is going to introduce me to her friends over there so I’m feeling I should take that opportunity, I’ve been looking forward to it, just hadn’t realised the date. Sorry for the mess around. @Emjaycee said he’d come with his guitar and his kayak and his bike. Haven’t spoken to anyone else personally yet, I’ll stick it up on livinghealthy as well xoxo

    • Aww bugger I have my kids the following weekend. Argh well such is the life of a single mum lol

    • Oh dear can you re-add me to the FB group @prudence ? I’ll text you my silly FB name?

      Might be able to come the following weekend !

    • So… 29-31st March @prudence? I would love to come. Is ur place on public transport routes from Christchurch? Or is it best to stay at Akaroa? Or somewhere nearer to your home?

      • Oops… no, I cannot come that weekend. DH has already ‘booked’ that w/end to move his mother who has sold her house and moving even further north. Bugger! I was pretty excited already. Next time.

      • @April hopefully one of the ChCh crew would give you a ride over, and once we get some numbers the people coming will be booking houses with as many beds as possible, so you will be able to slot in there somewhere I imagine. It is best to stay in Takamatua, which will be listed as Akaroa but when you read the blurb look for the word Takamatua. It’s a bugger my nephews house is booked out, that would have been perfect, we used it last time

  • janus2 posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Cheers you , how crazy is this, my ALL 4 sisters wished me happy bday and their kids, not sure what that about, maybe am sober!! Anyway will come to chill out, maybe with chch crew. Time to catch up @morgan @marmite @begoodtomyself @emjaycee and others, i will need a laugh after da whanau!!!

    • How cool that your sisters are finally starting to believe that things have changed…….reckon you’re just going to have to forgive them for being such bitchy cows for so long. Life’s too short. Chuck the bad away and just take the good. Sisters are great to have xoxo

  • janus2 posted an update 7 months ago

    Cheers @marmite, feels real wierd nearly 2 yrs aye, i thought i would crumble at 1. Think the thing that made me stronger was whangamata and people commenting how well i looked 🙂 you mayve missed fatbum was put down Sunday at 10 a.m 🙁 wierd not having her around and still lie on the floor watching t.v where she snuggled up to me. She went down in like 24hrs. I am swim teaching in Picton and at the end i go and investigate bays in Sounds so i dont have to sit and think!! Tbh also excited of 2yrs though in a wierd way jesus wept. I sm going to buy myself something just not sure what. peace out you xo

    • Hi @janus2, I’m sorry you’ve lost your wee buddy. Sending a big hug, my friend. Two years deserves a special treat 😊 xx

    • @Janus2 oh no, I’m so, so sorry. Lovely fatbum, thank you for helping our friend get sober. Somehow, fatbum got through to you in times when no one else could eh? Yes, you should do something special to celebrate this milestone 2 year mark and to celebrate the life of your best buddy, fatbum. Love you mate. I feel the same about Lizi’s retreat and Whangamata, they changed everything, i wouldn’t be approaching 2 years either without you all. I’m getting another tattoo, probably an addition to the one i got last year, might be a growing artwork on each anniversary xxoo

      • P.s. @janus2 hell yeah, the change in you was incredible, it was like someone had breathed life back into you. Shining bright my rainbow friend

  • janus2 posted an update 7 months ago

    @marmite just thought i would post as u and i nearly at 2 yr mark, fark me lol. Went to see my A&D councellor today, yes still after 2 yrs lol But most got out of it was this, yes @prudence @endzedgirl @bondi and others plus newbies. We talked about how strong is my resolve to stay sober and yes i said its there i could drink again, despite fact my relationship would be down gurgler, ability to work down the drain, bipolar and mania hit with vengence, probably hospital visit!!! I found it interesting, with her saying there are always triggers in daily life, specially with me working fulltime for 16 ws. I said thats the reason why i still see you and yes am luckey, yet again with councellor, who believes in me and ability to work through this issue. I thinked i would ne fucked without a councellor yes been seeing them since 18, now 44 coming up 45, and really no break, yes different ones and all have been fab. Anywhoo just thpught it interesting my thought process, lol she sent me for blood test. Crak up she said your liver function not too hot anyway, but lets check B12. Jesus wept lol if i owned a pub i would drink the profits, even now . We spoke about antabuse which still on, and that takes away the fact i am not/can not acknowledge my triggers, no matter how small. My triggers arent boredom or loneliness but something a little more in depth then that aye. I am not/do not get bored,as i fill up my day, i niw do not get lonely, so what could it be, for fucks sake i dont know lol. Not even at times does the thought of seizures in my withdrawal, does not say pick up.! Just find it wierd as i am a well educated with a career or 2 up my sleeve plus working towards another plus pretty articulate. What do ya reckon also @morgan and @noelle. Anyway its cooled down time for fatbums slow walk. Man here tonight, camping tomorrow lol and fatbum has her own puptent. Really should be geriatric tent, poor bitch. Peace out.

    • Ooh @janus2 you are so cool! Big congrats on that 2 year mark. Always a fab inspiration for me and god you do make me chuckle often which I have really appreciated after a hard day. Enjoy weekend. Hope fatbum has treats in the pup tent! ❤️❤️

    • Not quite sure what the queston is @Janus2 but I am assuiming it is “why do you still have the desire to drink after all this time and when you know it will ruin you life as well as probably end it fairly quickly?” Good old blunt old @Prudence eh!!!
      Well my answer is probably not helpful. My answer is that we probably all have a latent desire to drink. Just coz we gave it up doesn’t mean we don’t still crave it sometimes, crave it fiercely even, sometimes. I do. Giving it up means we are super smart waihines, tough, stauch, brave, wise, fricking awsome. Our intelligence made a call to live a better ife and reap the rewards of that better life. Our intelligence tells us we would be shit arse dumb bitches if we started it up again.
      Our wisdom tells us that cravings dont’ kill you, they are put there to remind you that you need to stay on our toes, keep working on ourselves, do not become complacent. What you are doing by seeing adn talking with your counsellor is being vigilant, being honest, reaching out, acknowledging the desire is still there, but also empowering yourself at the same time. Re-inforcing to yourself all you would lose if you were to take it up again. I personally think you are propbably the biggest hero on here, you and @Iowadawn and @Ellislou and @Ro . All of you, and many others too, I know, have had such huge adversity in your lives since I have known you, I take my hat off and bow at your feet, all of you. You are a survivor @Janus2 , you do what you need to do in order to surviive. And if you get 4 or 5 weeks into your teaching job and feel overwhelmed about the other 12 still to go, you speak up, no one will die if you asks them to find someone else. Just know that going into it. Don’t worry about it now, whatever way it feels it is all going to be okay. Hae a cool time with your lovely man camping….does he wear his supermarket undies around the campsite? xoxo

      • Lol yup pretty much what you all said, little scared of relapse. Yes your right @prudence can say too much work. I think the thing that got me thinking was at last school just finished at principal asked me to do whole school swim teach from 1.30 then do privates. Its like yes i do but then its like shit i also need my time for my so impirtant exercise before early march when i start fulltime. Antwhoo councellor got me thinking. Gunna bring it up with man lol in our farkn tent and see what he says. Thanks all. Xo

        • Good old Prudence and her wisdom @janus2. I too take my hat off to you, your struggles have been great and you have managed with determination and your sick humour, plus Fatbum and your amazing man. I know it would be very easy to pick up a wine, but I know I won’t because I won’t give up all the wonderful things and people I have in my life now. Enjoy your camping and keep doing what you are doing because it ismworking and we love you and we need you here. Xoxo

      • Thank.you @Prudence your words mean so much to me

    • Oops too scared to edit it, so I hope you enjoy working through all the mistakes, probably only about as many as your post hahahaha

    • @janus2, congrats on getting so close to two year mark. interesting that you are talking about triggers. I cannot identify mine, I just know that I could easily just find myself one night just sipping on the beer and then sipping some more the next night and then my doctor would say again… let’s just check your liver. and then a few years would past and then i would hate myself some more and then i would have the same life that just wrapped around when i would get the next drink. when you look at day one to your day today, life different? i have been here just a short bit. have a great day.

    • You get to two years and there’s some satisfaction looking back on all the hurdles jumped. And you’ve had to jump more of them and higher ones than me I’d say. Sure has been great having you around, Janus and I think those schools are fortunate to have you. I’m jealous of the camping, we have our first trip of the season reserved in a Michigan state park in May, on the shore of Lake Michigan. Nice park. I’ve been thinking lately that the window is starting to close on my wilderness canoe trips. Don’t like to think that way though. It’s incentive to try to stay in shape. I’ve been saying I’m getting to old for it since I was 50, almost sixteen years ago.

    • Freakin’ love you @janus2 and your honesty. My date is 13.3 and you were what a week or so behind? We are 2 batshit sober superstars to be approaching 2 years no booze! xx

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