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  • Mari135 posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago

    This will sound silly and immature….but I just did something I am rather proud of and feel quite chuffed with myself….My old boyfriend from wayyy back (age 15/16) wanted to Skype just now at noon…hubby knows about him and has no problem with me talking to him or other male friends from back home since it’s a group of people who all still keep in touch.

    BUT…I think since that old boyfriend/friend has started feeling unhappy in his long-term relationship the contact may have become more…hmm…how do I put it…needy and demanding on his end, with the possibility of me in the near future having to end it or at least go low contact to do what is right and morally correct. Nothing happened yet, to his defense. I just see the situation has potential for warranting stronger boundaries.

    So I just did something I used to NEVER do.
    After scrambling to get a statistics online quiz done to be available on Skype for him I realized I did NOT actually WANT to Skype today. Before, I’d do it to stick to my word and blablabla blubs bla. Fuckitall.

    So a quick text “something came up, let’s talk another time.” Boom, done.
    Now back to what I NEED and WANT to do…which is focusing on my coursework for a possible career plan.

    The point is I said “No” to a “high caused by attention” and “Yes” to the shitty gritty Gaaawwwd-awful task of calculating whatever proportions of something (math takes it out of me, excuse the Russian). Honoring what really helps me to make progress in life. It feels good to finally say “no”. I keep coming back to that. Maybe I will just experiment this week and tell everyone “no” to everything….Might be out of work by Tuesday though..lol. Oh well…balance….right….If only they had installed a “balance gene” in my DNA at birth.

    Back to statistics it is.

    • Good for you…….go with your gut and instincts and honor your own time as well!

    • Ooo I need that balance gene too- although it’s seems massively easier to be balanced AF than it did when drinking! Well done trusting yourself .

    • Saying no feels good. Makes space. Go you with the wise choices.

    • that’s actually awesome! boundaries and clear thinking. x

    • That’s awesome!!!! Saying no can be so difficult so well done you!!!

    • Nice!!

    • WOW! that is potent! I totally get it too. It’s like turning down a decadent dessert for a plate of liver and onions. Well done! haha! I’m so chuffed for you!!! 💓

    • Such a seemingly small, but actually hugely significant move. I find I am taking a few moments to consider whether of not I want to see someone/ do something, and realising I have a choice, and if it makes me unpopular or my life seem to be narrowing, TOUGH! Important people will always be there..

    • great decision making, congrats. boundary setting when needed. perfect.

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