• lynnelowe posted an update 12 minutes ago

    Still actually Day 1 I think as I woke up about 2,00 and it pooped into my head, go back to this place and focus. I have given up for some months before , I can do it. This will mean daily postings for a while. I know that helps, so thanks for being there in advance. Oh my. here we go ….. grateful for this place and all the support we can find here.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 15 minutes ago

    Thanks for this, yep, have been for months before, but slip into old habits. Let’s do this.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 16 minutes ago

    Thanks for that.. Yep I know this and have given up for months before….. so here we go…. long term, but day at a time

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 16 minutes ago

    Yep, kind of reassuring to know others have been in same boat…

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 17 minutes ago

    Yep don’t know why I do it, a habit.. even 1 glass of wine makes me feel not good next day now…. getting older. It is something to do with association of having a treat, of fun… I am not good at steady habits .

  • mm, yep I am back. Even moderate drinking does me no good. I don’t like it’s effect. So day 1…. 16/7/2019.. Here we go.

    • Yea me neither @lynnelowe. Every Monday is day one for me

      • Yep don’t know why I do it, a habit.. even 1 glass of wine makes me feel not good next day now…. getting older. It is something to do with association of having a treat, of fun… I am not good at steady habits .

      • Thanks for this, yep, have been for months before, but slip into old habits. Let’s do this.

    • Look after yourself today really well @lynnelowe, I could never moderate, was either all or nothing and the nothing is working for me.. stay strong. x

    • Good on you for coming back. I’ve tried moderation umpteen times…. never works.

    • Day 1 is where we all start. And yep I think all of us here have attempted moderating. Itโ€™s more complicated and more mind messing than abstinence I find. But we try it donโ€™t we.
      Lots of yum food and plenty of hydration for day 1, and lots of support from us too xo

      • Thanks for that.. Yep I know this and have given up for months before….. so here we go…. long term, but day at a time

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    I am impressed about your study and changing your career. I wished I had done that as at 57 a bit stuck and unstuck workwise. Yep I get the need to be comforted, for someone just to acknowledge that it is tough and the going is hard. Day by day eh and the looking forward to a break, in nature, …… I find writing stuff out helps me when I am feeling like things are almost too much…

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @Ladyhawke Sorry to hear about marriage breakdown. Sounds like you are managing well in stressful times. Kia kaha

    • Thanks @lynnelowe It is totally amazing how once the booze stops you can actually fully see what’s going on. Time to move on after 25 years. It is what it is ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Morena, How is everyone, back from travels and saving for more. TBH had the odd beer in the heat of Laos, but only 1or 2 and all ok, but back home will go complete AF .
    It’s the habits that go with it when I live here….. along with others …interesting to see after a time away. Doubt, negative thinking, procrastinating etc… So here we go..

    • Awesome! Af rocks! ❤️❤️

    • Look, lol in Scotland in 2015 drank a bottle of scotch in Ibis London shagged a guy never knew pom who worked at Ibis, mate yours in comparison dont match up lol. Sorry ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Morena Day 48….. So close to a glass of wine when out with a friend. Cold fact I wanted it ….. but instead had zero a beer….. hmm obviously not there yet……
    Anyway RIP Pete shelley https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=terg_LPT3X0 Best pop/punk song ever.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome @Feellife. This is a wonderful place to be so much support

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Yep my reaction is like @Tom4500 . You are sooo on to it. Envious

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    So glad to read your post. Keep on checking in. Be gentle on yourself. Tough times and you are there and being present so that is very wonderful.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Great to meet you (well be introduced in a way. This is a good place to be.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome @kebab123456 This is a fantastic place, people so supportive. Glad to have you here.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Day 70 ,, that is super fantastic…. Congrats

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats, that is so cool.

  • Morena , Day 45. Kei ti harikoa ahau…. Finally getting excited about trip, adventure, being in the nature in northern Laos.. Finally. Have today to get travel stuff organised as working thursday and Friday and I always have to wait til last minute to get going. Thanks for all the support over the last little while, helping me process my complex emotions around family and life. Always wham bams me at thsi time of the year and I still get surprised. And anything can happen and I will deal with it.
    This truly is a special place…..Thanks @mrs-d and everyone here….

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    OH ended up with 2 more day work Thursday Friday more $$$ for travel. though

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yep … Excellent post.. I think for many of us self care is hard so interesting to read theses explicit examples and know this too is self care

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Wow 589.. inspirational…. . Have a lovely day and loved your post @Thor

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    That is tough, I can’t imagine how tough. Don’t beat yourself up. I think in times of high stress we tend to go back to old habits, when the need for soothing is very high. You say “only manage 90 days” but that is huge and means you can get there .. Go easy. Ask for as much support as you need. I find posting every day helps if I am in a hard place. Many of us have been at Day 1…. over ……Amongst all this I hope you find some space for some self care for you too. My heart feels for you and I send you all my love and hope… You did right for your daughter, taking her to hospital…Hard as it must have been @kjpeche

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome … Such a supportive place to be.

  • Ata Marie.. Day 44…. seems to be zooming past fast on the old AF counter going up.. I think last day of work today for year. Bit wild yesterday and maybe wilder today lol. But being casual has it’s benefits. Loaded up with Christmas stuff to get through our day and try and have some fun on another wet day.
    Have a good day, staying AF in this busy time.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks for “getting me”.. Feel heard….. Can’t believe how much that matters to me @cinderella .. It’s those christmas time of the year feelings .. Thanks heaps

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks heaps, so appreciate the support.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Wow that is so awesome. Sounds like FREEDOM ….. inspirational. Congrats on 101 days

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome @debbiek

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hard , but you can do it…. I find distraction helpful when that time comes you feel like a drink… a walk, put on music play it loud get out of house but not to supermarket.. ring a friend…..

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Wow what huge challenges.. I can’t even imagine how hard that is. Good on your strength… one day at a time….

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Wow congratulations, that is so huge….. ” I feel like me.” Love that line …. exactly where I want to be all the time.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome to this wonderful place.

  • Thanks @lotus @Agirl @Finallyhere @K1W1 @winner…… I guess I lean heavily on this place. Writing things down works better for me than talking. Really appreciate the kindness shown .. When i was younger I used to keep things all bottled in thinking my thought processes were crazy and at times this was very dangerous to me……. and shame was a big thing….. Now while I feel a bit shy and vulnerable I don’t feel shame which is huge to me…… anyway .. no drinking a bit of sugar eating but lol all ok.. Thanks heaps.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome to this wonderful place. So much support right here

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yep be here for support. feel it , booze is just a distraction, so go with the feelings….. .Yes I agree you will be ok. and just reading @Agirls post, yep be there with yout grandma, really present, stay with it. All the best

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Love this …

  • Morena whanau … Day 43.. Feeling very tearful… I am supposed to be going travelling and I feel very ambivalent … Have been away last 2 xmases…. Had medical stuff last year and decided I really need to make most of life hence the push for adventures etc. Visited my elderly frail mum yesterday. Each time I go away I feel she may pass while I am away, but she keeps on trottinging along, but this time.. Yesterday she told me to be happy when she passes as life is too hard.. be happy she said… And I get this totally and … … and she may live another year.
    My mum is the link I have with family…… It is just confronting.. Life in my family hasn’t been easy… but I guess it is this time of the year stuff and it;s hard to know what to do.. It is just confronting all this stuff and being distant from siblings
    Anyway I have lots of frank talks with mum, she is straight with me these days……. Life is tricky eh…. Sorry woken up sobbing and haven’t cried for a long time.
    The good news is that I haven’t felt like a drink…. This time of the year brings up strong emotions … what really matters, how to live life purposefully… Have a beautiful day…..

    • Oh such strong emotions to wake up to @lynnelowe. What a lovely mum you have. Big love to you sweetheart xxx

    • I hear you @lynnelowe. Sometimes we need to let it all out. Go ahead have a proper big sob, donโ€™t have little tears and solider on, your going through some pretty intense grief and loss feelings. I think itโ€™s great that you are dealing with it head on and that booze is not even on the radar, this is you being strong. X

    • Crying is sooo good for us, Sou dis like your mum is very special. Lots of love to you both

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Beautiful…. perfect song ……for my evening……

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    yep it is consumerism gone crazy @morgan

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    That is so cool… managing work things I always find tricky so’done and dusted’ is great.

  • Ata marie Day 42….. hmm contemplating going shopping,,, but that xmas rush is on, so yeah nah…. stay in bed a while I think… Wait and do last minute…. Coming up with a good list of life stuff for 2019.
    Writing it down helps it. Have a great Sunday.

    • Oh dear, Christmas. I was hauled around some shops with a friend who had to find things. Lovely smelling all the candles and trying the hand creams, but awful to see her stress. I am sooooo grateful my family do not do the present thing – a secret santa sometimes, maybe some books for the children or a clever thing spotted, but otherwise, nah. RELIEF !!!!!

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yep thanks for that.. Realise I have been a bit stuck doing the things that help me get through, morning pages, headspace, getting out and about. Fallen on old habits which is a message to really pay attention to what I need…. Just have to get through this xmas slump . Thanks for your wise words @Finallyhere .. It’s old stuff,

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    @marathongirl Congrats on day 7…… yep there seems to be a thread today of knowing that being AF doesn’t make life perfect and I need to accept this too. but it sure helps dealing with the ups and downs…. Have a good day today and onwards.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Lovely post. I love your descriptions of how it went. Noticing, paying attention… You have inspired me how to follow my day

    • Thanks, @Lynnelowe! We do pay attention to the wrong things sometimes, I’m starting to think. There’s a whole parallel world of experience that we just don’t acknowledge.

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome @Jojax

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sounds hard, time of the year is hard I reckon,,,, world seems to have focus on socialising which focuses on drinking….. but you can do it , Day by day eh @shaws

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yep , very helpful post . Even though I am nearly 60 ( well 3 years off) I find it hard to accept that life is up and downs and always will be.
    Having a clear head helps definitely and remembering how things used to be also . Yep acceptance is my challenge. Thanks for your wise words.Hope you enjoy this weekend @Agirl

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Cool on day 40. Yep the xmas time of year is a bit challenging eh, but sure you will manage extremely well and have a good time.

  • Morena Day 41… Back to posting alot. Christmas is a strange old time of year for me…. avoidance has been a key strategy for me, but feel it has outlived it’s usefulness… I am coming up with a list of things I need to get to for 2019…… which is cool….I guess , ready to confront things I haven’t before and live more easily hopefully.
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/24/joanna-moorhead-gabriel-mate-trauma-addiction-treat Hmm possibly a bit heavy.
    In limbo…. 1 week and I will be on plane and I just need to get on with it……. Have a great weekend…. Bit windy and cold here this morning.. 41 days…… Heres to leaning in in 2019.

    • Good Morning @lynnelowe yes this time of year is a time of reflection and I have noticed a lot of new members to our community in the past couple of weeks. I am at day 23 and now hate the drunk stories about me, I used to laugh it off. Onwards and upwards for 2019 !!! Day 41 is awesome happy sober Saturday x

    • Hi @lynnelowe, 41 days is fantastic. I remember the long haul to get to double figures. The 30โ€™s were hard for me, lots of emotional stuff to work through, hard discussions to be had and an alcohol soaked social event to attend. I have just two days ago started a list of things that I need to do/get/achieve, must be what happens into the 40โ€™s 🙂 you got this, we just hunker down and get the job done.x

      • Yep thanks for that.. Realise I have been a bit stuck doing the things that help me get through, morning pages, headspace, getting out and about. Fallen on old habits which is a message to really pay attention to what I need…. Just have to get through this xmas slump . Thanks for your wise words @Finallyhere .. It’s old stuff,

    • congrats. Day 41, nice.

    • Itโ€™s the Maori word for Good morning. NZ is officially bi-lingual, Maori and English.

    • Thanks for the link @lynnelowe, that fits beautifully with the work I am doing in ACA. It helps make sense xx

    • I think you eventually move towards its just another day, many “sane” people feel wtf to do! When mum n dad alive all i gave them was food they ate like crackers cheese, 1kg of cherries for xmas day as this is cherryland in Blenheim. Think that got me was when divying up mums n dads things lawyer sister said if you gave them any crystal you take them, ha that was me out of the picture ๐Ÿ˜‰ ha so all those expensive presents to them they all had alterior motive lol, they all got crystal shit lol anywhoo dont stress, buy cherries, eat chocolate, kick back and think of all those shitarsed presents on trademe on boxing day lol and family tiffs and drunkn arsed siblings lol @lynnelow ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • lynnelowe posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yep posting is so powerful and great to hear from you.

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