• Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 33 minutes ago

    Onwards and upwards indeed!! Beautiful post. I have found more and more reasons NOT to go back, while discovering so many reasons to move onwards and upwards!

  • Lydia727 posted an update 1 day, 8 hours ago

    Good morning/evening all you fine folk! I woke up at 3:00 am, was wide awake and could not go back to sleep, so up I got. Made a nice cup of tea and did a quick workout. It is Friday morning, and I have a difficult task to deal with at work today, so I am trying to get my head in a calm, peaceful, accepting place. Last night I was looking for an old photo on my phone, and came across one of me on a very very hungover morning, looking like absolute shit. Just finished putting on makeup for the day and was awfully pleased at the face looking back at me. I looked at least 10 years older in that old hangover picture. Whoo Hoo for sober face!! Have a wonderful, strong, joy filled day! “I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.”― J. B. Priestley

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 7 hours ago

    Happy Birthday and Yay five weeks done! I will be 59 in a few weeks, so 60 is fast approaching. Have a wonderful early dinner at your fancy smantzy restaurant and enjoy a booze free evening!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 7 hours ago

    Rock that day two!!! “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”

  • Lydia727 posted an update 6 days, 6 hours ago

    Good Sunday morning/evening all you warriors!! I am drinking my tea and getting ready to go on my favorite early walk around a gorgeous local cemetery. It is lovely hills and valleys, with birds and squirrels – very peaceful. Then off to see my mom in the nursing home, to the hardware store and back to the house to craft and be creative! I have to build a wall shelf for my craft room today. I could and would NEVER do all this if I were drinking. I would be laying on the couch feeling wretched all day, lamenting that I wasted my whole weekend. Have a wonderful day Tribe!!! ox

    • One of my favorite walks in in a local very old cemetery, beautiful landscaping, giant Celtic crosses and lovely monuments, quiet and full of birds. Some of the markers there date back to the 1700s and I can follow the history of my town from section to section, which immigrant groups were predominant, the awful course of the Spanish influenza epidemic. Always interesting.

    • Sounds like a perfect day. No more wasted days XXX I hope Mom was ok. Is she happy there?

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 6 hours ago

    Not sure where you are in U.S., but you will have to go to the Magistrate and file for a restraining order. Here is it called a 50B. If approved, they will make him leave until the court date. Otherwise, if he is not hurting you or the kids and is not violent (just very obnoxious), the police will tell you it is a civil matter, it is his house too, and you need to see an attorney. Best thing for you to do is call an attorney tomorrow. Unfortunately here in the U.S., it is difficult to get someone out of their own house, unless they are truly a danger. It sucks. But you do need the advice of a lawyer to know what steps you can and need to take to remedy your situation. I am a paralegal and my husband is a Sheriff’s Deputy, so sadly, we both have lots of experience dealing with those things. STAY sober! You can only fix your life if you don’t have alcohol holding you in a negative situation. Good luck!!!!! Kia Kaha!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Ahhh so wonderful!!!! I keep hoping one of my kids will give me the same news, but so far nada. I have to live vicariously through other grannies. 🙂 CONGRATS!!!!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    That is such a wonderful feeling!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    So glad to be part of this Tribe you have created @mrs-d!! I was just downstairs sorting out my craft room and den – making it nice and cozy and it is almost 9:00 pm on a Friday night. If I were drinking, I would have been drunk by 7:00 and already almost passed out, after posting something stupid on social media, buying something I could not afford online, or calling someone and committing to something I would regret. Whoo Hoo for SOBER FRIDAYS!! Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!

    • Ha! It’s like we lived the same life @Lydia727. Woo hoo, alright, for us soberites ? love love love going to bed genuinely tired from a genuine life. Happy rest of your weekend ya’ll

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Welcome!!

  • Lydia727 posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    These are the role models for our youth…. so very sad. https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/09/entertainment/kardashians-drunk-makeup/index.html BUT, I will have a lovely evening, wake up and be able to do MY makeup and will absolutely not have a headache or clown face. 🙂 Happy day everyone!!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Welcome!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    🙂 True!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Welcome!!!

  • Lydia727 posted an update 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    I have been watching the Travel Channel this morning and I swear almost every commercial was for alcohol! SOOOOO annoying!

    • It really seems to be a thing…travel=drinking.
      It is ridiculous how much alcohol is available in duty-free at airports, and in Vienna they make you go THROUGH the alcohol store to get to one area of gates. Like why…..I picture the same with other drugs, like cocaine or weed.

      Makes no sense.
      oxoxox

    • How to blur your way through the beauties of the world – crazy

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Welcome to the tribe!!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    So sorry. I completely understand. I have been caring for my mother, who has dementia, for the past 4 years. She is now in a nursing home on hospice care, bed ridden and unable to speak. Although I know she is being well cared for and it has taken major stress off me that I am no longer her sole caregiver, I still go to see her almost every day. She was the person I went to for comfort and support, my shoulder, my rock and friend. That part of her has been gone for a couple of years, but I cherish the memory of time before that. That is the reason I went down the black rabbit hole of drinking -to numb the pain. Your are SOOOO brave and smart to be doing this sober. I am really present for her now and I am able to truly enjoy the last chapter of our lives together. Sending you positive vibes! Kia Kaha!!

    • thank you @lydia727 i appreciate your kind words. I have a lot of support from siblings and my Dad, but i can see how tempting the numbing would be. trying to stay strong…. xoxo

  • Lydia727 posted an update 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    Hello all! I had an absolutely horrible day at work today. I work in a close office space with a a really mentally ill woman. She causes me tons of anxiety and, some days, extreme anger, but I try to accept that she cannot help it that she is a crazy person and just roll with it. However, some days……. She has caused multiple people to quit (she has been there 15 years). I left today so angry with her I wanted to scream. My internal dialogue….”Grrr I wish I could have a freaking drink! – Ahhhh I am SO glad I can’t” HAHA It was a happy moment when I knew/felt in my heart and mind that I really really did NOT want a drink, and it was GOOD. It made me smile. I came home and ate a ton of lasagne and some ice cream instead. 🙂 Hope everyone is having a good day/night!

    • In my book its OK to up the sweet treats for a while – can’t hit every thing on all fronts at the same time – I’m not normally a chocolate eater – but when I’m shifting my habits that one can change for a wee while too to help the transition. I know I haven’t got a problem with chocolate 🙂

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Such a great place to be! I can honestly say that this site really DID change my life. Welcome!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Sounds like a truly successful day!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    I am in Asheville – well, a small town just outside. I am staying hydrated and I have my little Frogg Toggs cooling towel ready! Being involved makes a HUGE difference! Honestly, as soon as I did, it really changed my desire to drink in a big way.

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Whoo Hoo! A year is AMAZING!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Welcome!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    “You never know how strong you are…until being STRONG is the only choice you have!”. Have a great weekend!

    • @lydia727 love that- it’s so true. Thanks for your insight. Our struggle continues and staying strong is the only choice we have. Day 344…….deep breath as I NEAR a year!
      .

  • Lydia727 posted an update 4 weeks ago

    Morning ya’ll! Just checking in to see what is going on. Drinking a cup of tea, getting ready to go WORK! I have gotten involved with a Women Build group from Habitat for Humanity. Going out on Saturday to build houses – lot’s of hot, sweaty, hard physical labor, and after working at a desk in an office all week, it is heaven. I come home tired and satisfied. Lots of great women involved. If I were drinking, this would NEVER happen. Would not be possible to drag myself out early on Saturday to work in the heat (it is bloody hot here in NC right now!) with a freaking big, obnoxious hangover. Yay for SOBER WEEKENDS! Have a great day and KIA KAHA!!!

    • Nice to hear from you again, Lydia. Well done on getting involved. I think the feeling of accomplishment and the feeling of helping far excel the feeling of partying. Watch out for that heat, I know how hot NC summer afternoons can get. My parents were in Greensboro for years, and I still have one brother in Durham and one in Asheville.

      • I am in Asheville – well, a small town just outside. I am staying hydrated and I have my little Frogg Toggs cooling towel ready! Being involved makes a HUGE difference! Honestly, as soon as I did, it really changed my desire to drink in a big way.

    • JM replied 4 weeks ago

      Oh that is so great + inspiring @Lydia727! Have a great day! : )

    • Wow! That is a fantastic way to spend a Saturday. Sober weekends are the best! Have fun today!

    • Good for you @Lydia727, Habitat for Humanity is a wonderful orginisation, a few weeks ago we went to a house warming for a woman we know who built her home with them.

    • I LOVE that! What a fulfilling, affirming activity for yourself! xoxo

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks guys! I am better now. I cleaned house, had a good intense workout at the gym and went to a friend’s one year old son’s birthday party. Going to make zucchini bread (some with and without chocolate chips), as my squash plants have taken over the entire back yard. I have run out of recipes and my neighbors and co-workers are sick of squash at this point. I made a one night mistake and I am back to sober me. Need to stop being so pissed at myself and move on. oxoxo

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Whoo Hoo!!!!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    FIVE YEARS!! Well done and hello you!

  • I am such a freaking IDIOT!! I threw away sober last night for no reason, except I was bored. I woke up so depressed that the first scary thought I had was “I would rather be dead than have to continue this battle”. So I am up, feeling shit and depressed/anxious, but I will get right back on that wagon and move forward. Today I wish I had the ability to move to some deserted island where alcohol was just not available, but there is no place on the planet to hide from the poison. This too shall pass, and I have to focus on all the long sober days behind me and the ones AHEAD of me. Never let you guard down! Kia Kaha!!

    • Big hugs Lydia. Be proud of your journey to date – it hasn’t been for naught … you’ve learned so much and now you can learn from your slip. Lots of kindness and self care. It really does help. xoxo

    • It’s just a bump in the road for you @lydia727 but I fully understand/get the pain. It’s the big WHY? Why do I keep touching the hot object just to make sure that it is? For some of us this takes a while to learn, certainly has for me, but you should give yourself a shit ton of credit for your sober time and for being able to stop again. My last binge ended 107 days ago and it’s finally becoming clear, after 30 years of drinking, that I need not drink under any circumstances and that the result is always the same. I’d narrowed it down to drinking roughly 3 times a year, for the last 5, but it would always become a drinking marathon that I would lose and fall flat on my ass again, because I cannot stop and that’s where it takes me. Dust it off. You know what’s best for you and are doing it! xo

    • Good on you for coming back on here, posting that amazing honest post and ready to move forward. That is super super brave, so give yourself a heap of credit, and thumbs up to the sober days ahead ❤

    • @lydia727, you’re not alone. Lots of people have had this experience, so it’s safe to say that this sort of experimentation is often part of the process of giving up alcohol, right? Self-care, self-care, self-care today and moving forward, now stronger than ever.

    • Yes, that guard needs to be there. Perhaps this will add to your guardedness – a powerful reminder. Kia kaha e hoa (my friend xxx)

    • Chin up! You can’t take away all the sober learning you have achieved on this journey lovely. ❤️

    • Thanks guys! I am better now. I cleaned house, had a good intense workout at the gym and went to a friend’s one year old son’s birthday party. Going to make zucchini bread (some with and without chocolate chips), as my squash plants have taken over the entire back yard. I have run out of recipes and my neighbors and co-workers are sick of squash at this point. I made a one night mistake and I am back to sober me. Need to stop being so pissed at myself and move on. oxoxo

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Getting “hipper” every day!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Hey @morgan!! So sorry, I posted then didn’t have a chance to check back in. I am doing well, but I started a new job a couple of months ago that has required a longer commute, and my mom is in hospice care at the nursing home, so I have not had a lot of time to stop in here. I am going to get back into it. I have missed my pals here, and I need my tribe to keep me accountable and not let me slip back into those habits! 🙂 Hope you are well!!

    • Where have you been and how are things going lovely woman???? Missed you

      • Yes, a great article! Just wanted to post it too. 🙂 Maybe it will be hip to not drink someday…..or atleast it´s a start.

      • Hey @morgan!! So sorry, I posted then didn’t have a chance to check back in. I am doing well, but I started a new job a couple of months ago that has required a longer commute, and my mom is in hospice care at the nursing home, so I have not had a lot of time to stop in here. I am going to get back into it. I have missed my pals here, and I need my tribe to keep me accountable and not let me slip back into those habits! 🙂 Hope you are well!!

  • Thanks for all the love and support yesterday you guys! I am much better today. A couple of days of screws ups is not going to diminish all the long long days and months of sobriety I have stored up. Today, I am renewed and happy to put the blip behind me. Going to have a wonderful weekend of getting my garden ready for Spring vegetable planting and waking up feeling like doing it! I have been on this journey since the day this website launched… WOW, going on 5 years? Can that be right??? At any rate, over that time, I have been sober way way way more than I have been drinking. I have managed things I didn’t know I could, and all because of this place. Lots of love here! TGIF (or TGIS) Tribe! oxox

  • Hello All! I have not logged on for some months. So many new people! I was doing really well – staying on the sober train. Unfortunately, the past couple of weekends I drank on Friday or Saturday night. Woke up the next morning feeling like shit, regretful and ashamed, said those words “Never again”….. There is NOTHING even remotely fun anymore about drinking, so WHY??? Last night (freaking Wednesday!) I had several drinks, ordered crap I could not afford online, and woke up at 3:00 am so depressed and anxious that I thought I would die (you guys KNOW that feeling). Now I am at work, feeling horrible and trying to get motivated and not hate myself. I know I should not stay away from this site just because I am doing and feeling great. I need the constant reinforcement of my Tribe to lift and HOLD me up! So, here I go. Just when you think you have that MF monster licked, it rears its ugly head! Thanks for being there!

    • Feel for you Lydia, don’t beat yourself up about it though. Like you say, we all know what it feels like. Tomorrow’s another day x chin up buttercup xx

    • Day 6….just starting. I’m told…..”Yesterday is over, thank goodness!! You have a brand new day 🙂 What is done is done and gone so go treat yourself with some loving care instead of the harsh “voices.”. Your worth is greater than the harsh words we beat ourselves with.” Virtual hug .

    • Hey @lydia727 it’s so great to see you back again yay!!! Why? Because alcohol is a very good lier. It pretends (along with the rest of society) to be your friend. A comfort and a prop. Well it’s not. You already know that. It’s just soooooo insidious. Please don’t beat yourself up- this is a tough ride!!!! Be kind to yourself, you know the drill. So glad you posted 🙂

    • I know, there comes a point where there is no point continuing to drink! im early days again too but this time im really digging deep, why drink when it hurts so much afterwards, what do we get from it, a very short escape at a very hugh price. i think its not a goid deal any more is it? hope you feel better soon, keep going

    • Hi beautiful – that is exactly why I check in, need the reinforcement. However I am sure now I could not even get through a glass of wine as the ethanol taste predominates, and even A/F stuff gives me a headache and vague nausea in the morning – sulphites? sugar? @pooks45, give it enough time an you may heal your taste buds enough to loathe the taste too – it is helpful 🙂

    • Welcome back! ❤️❤️

    • oxoxoxx I can SO relate to the feelings you described. oxoxoxox Just know you’re not alone…this relapse is not your fault…and you are oh so welcome here. oxoxoxox Come as you are.

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 8 months, 2 weeks ago

    Oh you are wonderful!

  • Wow, this is going to take some getting used to! 🙂 Hope everyone has a lovely, sober week!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 1 week ago

    Just got home from the nursing home, and my mom has just been handed over to Hospice care. SHe is not eating and has lost about 13 lbs in 2 weeks…. I WILL get through all this. I WILL. Thanks to all you guys for your support!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome Kayla!! This is a wonderful place.

  • Hello Tribe, Hope all is well with you wonderful people. This will be a long post, but I have to vent or go crazy. My 31 yr old son moved back home in July after losing his career as a professional snowboarder (aged out) for the past 15 years. He came home lost, and suffering from major depression and a horrible alcohol and cocaine addiction. Since July, he has had and been fired from 3 restaurant jobs, for not going in and going to work under the influence. He has caused problems in my very strong, wonderful marriage, and, as I just discovered, been stealing money and opioid and ADHD medication from friends, to sell for alcohol and cocaine. He says he wants help, but will not do anything to help facilitate this. Last night, I kicked him out. He has no money, no job, and no place to go, but I think he stayed with a childhood friend last night. I am overwhelmed with grief and guilt and so depressed that I don’t know where to turn. Everyone tells me it was the right thing to do, but he is my SON! I didn’t think I had a choice, as he was disrupting all our lives, and putting my husband’s job at risk, as he is a K9 Drug Officer. I don’t know where he is and he is not responding to my texts. I know that having a drink is NOT the answer, but I would be lying if I said the idea had not crossed my mind. Trying to stay strong and know we can get through this, but right now I feel hopeless. So glad I have this site!

    • Tough call but a good one. When he’s patted his ruffled feathers he will call you or text. This is the only way he will change. You love him clearly and you are saving his life. Awesome you for not drinking and staying strong in such adversity.

    • Good for you for not drinking in such a horrible situation. It’s a cliche, but remind yourself that you will be no good to him (or yourself or your marriage) if you start again. I’ll let others with more experience respond to your main issue, but I am sending you strength.

    • Oh my goodness, what a sad story. You’re dealing with a lot. I understand the part about it being your son. We can’t give up on our children. Is he actively refusing rehab? Because it sounds as if he needs it. Drinking would only reinforce his beliefs and hurt you, so kudos to you! Are there sports rehab people you can reach out to who have the experience treating the adrenaline junkie to transition to every day life? Its almost like PTSD. Hugs to you!

    • We have to take care of ourselves first. He may or may not get help, but it is certain he will not avail himself of it if you continue to bail him out ( I mean by providing him with a place to live, etc.). It is so difficult, but the best thing we can do is be the best example of joyful sobriety possible. I agree it would be a great idea to research what help us available. I’m the end, it is his choice what he does. Xxoo. Experiencing this myself and wish there were easy answers.

    • Aw this is tough 🙁 praying for you and your son xx

    • Really hard for you @lydia727 but I do think you have done the right n correct thing for both yourself and him. If he was my son,I would be crying inside but I would also be leaving the door ever so slightly open. All the very best.x

    • You did the right thing. You really did. Very very hard for both of you, but the right thing.

    • Just got home from the nursing home, and my mom has just been handed over to Hospice care. SHe is not eating and has lost about 13 lbs in 2 weeks…. I WILL get through all this. I WILL. Thanks to all you guys for your support!!

  • Lydia727 posted an update 10 months ago

    Hello Tribe!! Happy Wednesday afternoon (or Thursday morning)! I am hormonal and PMS-y and bloated, and all those wonderful things we have to deal with. All day my annoying monkey brain has been wavering between happy and sad, up and down. Gotta love being a woman! I do not want to drink and will not. I am not even considering drinking, but this stupid chatter in my head keeps bringing the subject of drinking to the forefront of my thoughts, and it is irritating the crap out of me. I DON”T want to THINK about it! Oh well, I plan to leave work, go to the nursing home to visit my mom, and then go home to start trying to pack for my trip next week. I will be packing sober, but hopefully the damn idea of alcohol will just stay away and let me think about other things – like what to take, because I can’t fit into any of my clothes as I am eating way too much and packing on pounds! What cha gonna do? Cheers guys!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 10 months ago

    Yay day 26!! 🙂

  • Lydia727 posted an update 10 months ago

    Hello All! I woke up this morning feeling like crap. I feel as though I drank a gallon of alcohol last night, which I did NOT, so guessing it is just a virus or something I ate. At any rate, I most assuredly do not want to be at work today. I am going to Oklahoma next week (where I am from), to see my best friend. Her daughter passed away in July (31 years old), leaving behind a husband, four year old daughter and a grieving family. She has been having a rough go of, so I am flying out to try and cheer her up and get her mind off of it. I talked to her last night, and she is very excited that I am coming. She drinks, but quite sensibly, and she knows of my struggles with alcohol, so I am safe there. So, I guess I will suck it up buttercup and get through the workday in spite of the tummy bug or whatever it is. You all have a WONDERFUL sober day!!!

    • I’m sure you’ll cheer your friend up immensely @Lydia727 and just hope you aren’t getting sick. How dreadful for her to lose her daughter, it pains me just to think about it. She is lucky to have such a friend as you xo

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 10 months ago

    Wonderful post. Few of us have a straight path. Great example for the kiddos!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    I completely understand @LuluD. When I lost my job a couple of years ago, I KNEW what would make things better, but I drank myself into oblivion and, instead of doing projects, and getting out to exercise, I did the complete opposite. It sounds like you have a good head about it though, and although naturally lazy, you are attempting to go in the right direction. I hope you have a great weekend!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    I came across an old article this morning about the launch of this website. Could it really have been August 2014???? It just not seem possible that we have had this wonderful tribe for over four years. Excited about the new site!!!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Nine days IS something! Nine days without poisoning your brain and body. Nine days of STRENGTH, COURAGE and DETERMINATION! Don’t drink and see what happens. 🙂 Kia Kaha!

  • Morning Troops! Today I am 58 – and AF! 🙂 My day started out really crappy. I went to the nursing home to visit my mom. She is not doing well, and was crying and clinging on to me. I was brokenhearted and cried all the way to work. However, I got to the office and my co-worker in the office next to mine had a big Happy Birthday banner hung and a set of cute Halloween tea cups for me – and some chocolate cake! It definitely improved my mood. Hubby is finally off work tonight, after not seeing him for almost a week. Police officers work shitty hours! So, I will get to go home and hang out with him tonight. I will NOT be celebrating with alcohol. 🙂 Have a great day!

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Love making good choices! Have a great un-hungover day!

  • Lydia727‘s profile was updated 10 months, 1 week ago

  • Lydia727 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Great post!!!

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