Have had a couple of great days, lovely birthday yesterday, nice meal out last night.. didn’t want a drink at all. Thought I’d cracked it ! early morning swim this morning, lots of walking and even got into a pair if size 12 jeans. Not done that since my 20’s. Apart from being sober it was another great birthday present to myself. But tonight had a few words with my son, his attitude is horrendous just lately and I ain’t having it. I’m sober now not sat swigging wine and vodka and letting things go over my head, I’m not having bad manners and rudeness here.. anyway since then the urge to get smashed was over whelming, just an escape for a while. But it wouldn’t have been for a while it would have been disastrous ,and I sat there and thought NO WAY is this happening, I was so angry and it scared me and I never want to have that happen to me again. So I’ve devoured a whole big bar of whole nut chocolate, ice cream, biscuits, lasagne and chips and smoke my cigs like an old train.. 3 strong sweet coffees and I’m just starting to feel better!! I am not going to go to bed pissed or get up tomorrow feeling shit.. I’m in this for the long haul…. Who’s with me ?? xxx
It amazing sometimes, how something can really trigger that overwhelming desire to just say, screw it, I’m getting smashed! Good job hanging on to what is important to you! Eat, drink the no alcohol drinks, whatever it takes. Boy’s will be boy’s and drive us nuts! Happy Birthday! 🙂
Oh can I relate @lucy. Love the “Old Train” comment. I just dealt with incredible rudeness from my 29 year boss. She runs the place for her parents but we know already that the fruit don’t fall far. This one rotted in mid air and I have plenty of names for it but will try to remain polite. Let’s just say it’s not sweet at all. It sounds to me like your doing all the right things.
Yep @lucy but I need my hands for more valuable things. I also can see where the misery lies. It’s within a booze infused distorted life and we know a thing or 2 about that, don’t we. I was paranoid in the beginning when I’d first begun working for them because I was the only one there who didn’t drink. I thought that maybe it was my imagination but in the end I was right all along. I was the sober weird one, but so be it. I would not have been able to deal with their foulness either way but had I been drinking the throat punch would more likely have come into play.
My son used to trigger me BIG time, and I would use his behaviour as an excuse to drink on my NO DRINKING night. It id relax me, and at times I think I was less reactive, but maybe the blurred, numbed state stopped me reacting when I should have – and the times I did, were probably not the wisest … Fortunately, I couldn’t drink much as I was always the driver – god knows what would have happened if I had been supported by their father, or even my partner at the time – sometimes he helped, but I didn’t want to ask; not a good relationship …
It takes 18-24 months from the time he started grumping for him to turn back into the adorable young man. Usually late 14 years to 16.5 years. Also depends on build. In this instance the bigger the quicker the development. None of this is good news at 15yrs in the middle.