• Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi Pearl, I think you and I started at about the same time – my first day sober 2/9/2014 – also when I joined Living Sober – haven’t drunk since. I still lurk here all the time, it keeps me going. Nice to hear from one of the old crew. Wonderful about being a grandmother, congratulations.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Hi @Mrs-D I’m in Welly, happy to help if I can – the 14th should be ok.

  • Day 1206. The week before Christmas, always tricky in soberville. Sticking close to here. Re-read old posts from three years ago to remind myself of the reality of my drinking. As it gets further in the past, I struggle to access that sense of despair, panic and shame that got me sober in the first place. Guess that’s one of the challenges of long-term sobriety.

    • What an awesome number. Thats great reading your old posts to remind yourself AF is best. Happy holidays.

    • How long did it take to scroll back 3 years? That’s my only problem with trying to read old posts. Is there a quicker way? 1206 is certainly impressive, @lookingforhappiness!

    • Well done on day 1206 @lookingforhappiness 🙂 Yeah, the further away you get from day 1 the more the memories fade… thats why writing things down is so helpful. Xx

    • You sober rock star! Great tip about re-reading old posts.

    • Day 1206 and what an IMPORTANT post….this is a very good reminder for all of us here that it can be tempting to let the guard down, and to forget why we’re here. How it REALLY used to be like.

      Thanks for sharing this!!!
      I am worried that over time I will grow to idealize the past and my past drinking, and give into the lie that I could be able to moderate. I know I am not able to. But the longer I am sober, the more it feels like I need to keep a close eye on that dangerous moment when I could make a wrong split-second decision.

      oxxoxox

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 1 year, 10 months ago

    Thank you, I do need to remember that!

    • You so do @lookingforhappiness !!!

      That’s interesting to me, the five year set point thing. Will go and read.

      It makes me realise that I’ve been thinking of three years in that way.

      Anyway congratulations 🙂 sorry to hear there’s some tough stuff for you atm. Keep going!

  • Three years sober today. It’s not cartwheels for me, as other things in life are still hard. It’s one foot in front of the other. The enemy is complacency – I still come on here most days and read, to keep the reality of drinking real in my mind. I’ve had a few urges in the last few weeks – a hard time at work that meant when I walked past bars on my way home I could see people drinking wine and felt like running in and getting obliterated – but it’s easier to play it forward and imagine the hangover, guilt, burning shame, loss of days spent lying in bed feeling miserable. I remember how the drinking sucked me down, even if it felt like a relief in the moment.

    Next stop, five years. I’ve been reading about the “five-year set point” for recovery durability. My therapist told me that the five year point is significant in the recovery process, so I looked it up. Here it is in a nutshell for those who are interested:

    Recovery Durability: The 5-Year Set Point

    Here’s one of my favourite bands, Arcade Fire, for those who like music vids – this song is called ‘Wake Up’.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OmMPaLmxKg

    Kia kaha xxx

  • Thanks for all the awesome shout outs for my 1000th day! It means a lot coming from you – I know you all get what it has taken to get here.

    Great birthday so far – currently beached on the couch after eating my own body weight… twice… contemplating a full-blown food coma.

    • So, welcome to the 1000 day club 🙂 an awesome place to be. I know for some, the counted up days don’t seem important, or they see us as smug or gloating, but you are right, for most, it has been a long, hard slog, and the celebration is a much deserved one.
      Honouring our efforts, swimming against a tide of alcohol and resisting powerful brainwashing, needs to be shouted from the rooftops.
      Even for those of us who found it reasonably easy a lot of the time, and came from a moderating place, resisting the drag back is incredibly hard sometimes. In fact, the counter has saved me many a slip – and this tribe of course.
      I certainly would have gone back, more careful and wise, but who knows where I would have ended up? A very scary thought.
      Happy days toward 2000 🙂

    • Oh, and happy birthday btw!!!! Rave rave, forgot about you sorry 🙁

    • Love it!!!
      1000 days!
      oxoxox

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    Thanks heaps!

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    Glad you are here and welcome.

  • Heya everyone, just logged on because at midnight it officially became my birthday (and I wanted to check in here rather than my old style of celebrating!) and found to my surprise that my counter says 1000 days sober! That snuck up on me!

    I had a lovely night out with a friend, we saw the Whitney documentary (worth a watch if it’s not too triggery for you – reminded me a lot of the Amy Winehouse doco) and had a great meal out. I stopped at the supermarket to buy treats for pancake brunch tomorrow with my urban family (close friends, my gorgeous nephew and his girlfriend who are living with me, and of course, my fur-baby-dog – who has been my best friend through everything for the past decade).

    I grabbed a cab home because it was late. As I stared out of the window into the dark I realised I felt great – wide awake, alert, content…. ‘with it’. Not fucked off my nut on booze, like I have been on the same date many, many times. No waking up in the morning full of guilt, remorse, self-loathing, brain fade (or black out), embarrassment, depression, dry horrors, headache, queasy, maybe vomiting bile – then spending the day miserable but trying to fake it that I’m okay with my nearest and dearest.

    My friend tonight said ‘remember that time I came to meet such-and-such you were dating at such-and-such bar?’ The answer was NO. No memory of that whatsoever. Would have been wasted. There are so many things I can’t remember… maybe that’s a good thing? Hmmm 🙂

  • Day 869 – 2 years and 4 months ish. I’ve been feeling quite wobbly recently. A few family issues have triggered it. Others have been leaning on me for support and I have felt the desire to drink stirring to numb myself out. What has been scary is that my memories of the grim side of drinking have faded and I have been romancing my memories of drinking – one of the warning signs of relapse. I’ve just re-read my posts on here where I’ve talked about the bad side of drinking and how it was battering my life and my heart. Luckily in those posts I have recorded enough to jog my memory about what was really going on – a great way to reset and wake me the fuck up about everything I would be putting on the line if I open-throated a bottle. Do those of you who have been sober a long time have this faded memory problem? How do you deal with it? I think the other reason I could feel the wheels coming off my sobriety is I haven’t been on here reading enough – again, isolating myself and removing myself from here is probably another warning sign. I need to stick with this, it’s what works for me. I think I’m breathing a little easier (literally) after grounding myself on here again. Thanks sober crew for listening x

    • Hi there, Lookingforhappiness, I’m only on day 18, so not the best resource. Go to the sober toolbox or read all the sober stories on this site. I’m sorry you under pressure. You’ll be hearing from more people soon. Hang on.

    • Hi @lookingforhappiness. I’m not at a year yet so not much of a resource for your stage of things either-but for what it’s worth i find i have to stick around here to remember why i stopped, how awful hangovers are, how unlikely it is i’ll moderate, etc. Glad posting helped. 🙂

    • First off – congrats on your amazing achievement of 869 days. I too suffer from alcoholism and forgetfulness syndrome. I’ve gone back to drinking many times And it never ends well. I agree that old posts might help but also reading people’s struggles here helps me to remember the struggle I was in. Don’t really wan to go back there. I’m also struggling to stay sober lately but hopefully this too shall pass.

    • Well done! I’m only 13 days in and have thought about just having 1 but I have to remember the ugly side of my drinking and what it was doing to my family. Congrats on 869 days. Wow! What an inspiration. Glad you found a way to fight the thoughts.

  • http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/87281907/sad-cheers-for-drinkers-as-research-finds-alcohol-interferes-with-hearts-rhythm

    Used to get heart palpitations often after a big night – would lie in bed feeling my heart going nuts, knowing it must bad… it was scary. 830 days without that.

  • Just celebrated my 2 year soberversary with burgers and laughs with friends 🙂 at a bar, no less – and bought a friend a glass of wine without even flinching carrying it back to her – 2 years ago that would have been a major struggle. One of them said ‘here’s to your soberversary!’ and toasted me – all I had was the glass of wine in my hand at the time to clink glasses with, which made them laugh (one friend looked very confused for a second! I think she thought she was going to have to do an emergency intervention, ha! I quickly gave it to its owner though, untouched :-)).

  • Morning everyone, I’m still here reading and lurking 🙂 Day 640 for me.

    Keep fighting the good fight!

  • Thanks to everyone for your kind messages last night. I got up this morning to two other voice messages from my friends – with some sleep on board and a bit of perspective, I think they were missing me and wanting to include me (except for the numpty comment, of course!).

    I heard from two of them today – one thought she might spew this morning, and the other spent most of the day in bed and was a write-off. Good reminder that the day after is never any fun!

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Yep, ahaha!

  • Need a vent, stat! Have just got a voice message from friends who are drinking. Two of the three of them were boozy but left nice messages. Then the third one said – do you remember this sound? And popped a cork (knowing that bubbles was my go-to drink) – then he said ‘that’s the sound of happiness and fun and joy – do you remember those?’.

    Obviously this was supposed to be ‘just a joke’ but it has really f*cked me off!! And hurts that he doesn’t think I’m fun anymore. The irony is that I feel much happier and more joyful sober – and real when I’m having fun, because it’s the real me and not the fake fun from the liquid drug!!

    • @lookingforhappiness go see them at 7.00am un-hungover and ask if it’s still fun. You win. Rise above x

    • All I can say is ” dicks ” That’s what came to mind. Sorry to offend . ..

    • I get the feelings of hurt and reactivity. One of my good friends has bouts of going on and on about drinking, sending photos of what she is drinking etc, and I find it upsetting and disturbing. Disrespectful, showing such a lack of caring and understanding. Then she suddenly switches tack and says she hardly drinks at all ….
      Love the real you having fun, happier and more joyful sober, not fake fun – keep saying that, revelling in it over and over, smiling until the smile is real and the gratitude even bigger 🙂 🙂 😉

    • Phew, ouch. How thoughtless and unkind of them @lookingforhappiness . It makes perfect sense that you are angry and hurt.

      They will have meant it as a joke, as you say.

      What do you think you will do about it?

    • All my friends pre getting sober were complete booze hounds because that’s who I intentionally surrounded myself with so my habit didn’t look so bad. But none of them have been that rude or disrespectful. You have every right to feel shitty.

    • Yes sorry, I’m with @noelle. Sounds like a dick. It it was me I probably would have said ‘actually that sounds more like the sound of my life getting sucked down the waste disposal).

    • dork

    • Oh @Lookingforhappiness … that’s just nasty isn’t it. It’s really underhanded when people are nasty and try to pass it off as a joke. Of course, underlying that is probably his own insecurity about his drinking… But frankly that doesn’t make it ok. I feel angry on your behalf and have to agree with several others who have said he’s behaved like a dick. Please understand one thing, it is nothing at all to do with you not being fun any more, it’s about their own issues not yours. Xx

    • They’re being thoughtless idiots but you know what? You really probably were lots of fun and great drinking company for them, and they just miss you. Forgive them, they know not what they do. Our friends lose a little bit of their own security when they lose one from the fold. To carry on like that is a knee jerk reaction by someone who is drinking and has given no thought to the effect his words will have on you. Shrug it off. You are in a way better place that he/they are. xo

    • Silly boy! One day he may realise no one actually needs “pop” to be fun, and he may remember sending that message and feel like a right twat – sounds like they are missing you, and sometimes people joke around instead of just saying we wish you would come hang out with us even if you are not drinking

    • What a turd. We know the truth, though. If happiness comes from a bottle, it’s not real and it’s fleeting. True contentment rests in your heart regardless of what liquid your are imbibing. You are being the best you and that’s truly and exciting. You should be so very proud of who you are now.

    • That is so silly to do that, your friend will prberbly feel shame and would really rather be in your shoes than their own.

  • Morning soberites. I’m hanging out on the couch with puppy (he’s got his snore on), I’m supposed to be going to the gym at midday to work out with my trainer, but this rain has me wanting to hibernate instead. Time for a bucket of coffee! I had an awful week at work – so bad that last night I was tempted to get smashed – I walked past a bar I used to frequent and thought I could go in there on my own and drink and drink and drink. But I kept walking. I went to a party and it was the first time since getting sober that I felt like my old self at a party – I laughed at an old friend until my throat hurt. It felt like a sober win. 1 year 7 months today. Still doing this – that’s all that matters. I saw another old friend I hadn’t seen in a while and he said “I must say, you’re looking really well” – I replied that it was because of no booze. The 3 friends I was speaking to had drinks in their hands… but that’s my truth and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. The danger with those conversations is that people look uncomfortable because it forces them to think about their own drinking and health. One of them, a serious old drinking buddy of mine, ordered a bottle of wine and two glasses. He poured a glass of wine for me and sat it in front of me – not expecting me to drink it, but not wanting to look like the lush he is having ordered a bottle for himself, ha! I was pleased that my earlier craving was gone and having the wine sitting there didn’t phase me at all (it wasn’t my trigger drink – bubbly wine – I would have told him to piss off if he’d tried that one).

  • Hi everyone, I’ve had a tough week – heaps of stress and been a bit weepy and exhausted with it all. I had a scary moment one night last week – I was in the supermarket and had been crying on the bus, at the gym, IN THE SUPERMARKET (shame had clearly gone out the door!). Suddenly I felt myself slam on the brakes with my trolley and stare hard at the wine aisle. I stood there like a crazy lady, in the middle of the floor, staring. And staring. And playing out going to get a bottle (or several), open throating them, and checking out of reality. It wasn’t the wine in particular I was craving – it was erasing reality. It was the strongest pull I’ve had in a long long time. But I walked away and it’s day 559 today. I’d been feeling secure in my sobriety, so it threw me.

    Then on Friday, the CE took me and another staff member out for a drink to celebrate me getting a new role (in the same organisation). I had a fully panicked moment where an awful thought raced through my head – “Do I need to have a drink?” – which was nuts. He wasn’t phased at all when I managed to say “soda and lime”. We all had a nice chat and a few laughs. But again, it scared me that I had self-imposed that imaginary peer pressure on myself. I’ve had no problem saying no to drinks for a year and a half, but felt so uncomfortable in that moment.

    A rocky week, but onwards.

    • I hope I can be as strong as you well done x

    • Wow! Congrats on 559! I look forward to being there one day! I’m sorry to hear that you are having a rough time of it. I am SO inspired by your courage and your determination to suck it up in the raw, and clear instead of taking the easy way out. Thank you for your post today. It has given me clarity on how much I will have to guard my sobriety! Well done @Lookingforhapiness! Sober on! Xo. 🙂

    • 559 days is wonderful! I guess it still takes more time to dissolve some of those old thought patterns. I get the feeling of wanting to escape sometimes, but you got through it which shows you CAN get through those scary moments.

    • Firstly huge congratulations on 559 days @lookingforhappiness and for getting through a difficult week without drinking. It’s really inspirational to hear how you stayed strong. It’s starting to hit home for me just how strong the brainwashing is from society and the media. All the messages about alcohol being a relaxant, sociable, etc. Even though you’ve been sober for a long time now those messages are still trickling through and then when times get tough those thoughts pop to the forefront of your mind. Anyway well done again and thanks for sharing.

    • Sorry for your rocky week, been a bit bumpy here too. I’m so proud of you recognizing the bumps. Let’s have a better week!
      Happy 559 to you!

    • Scary for sure @lookingforhappiness and go you for getting through that AF!! I hope this week goes better for you than last. xxx

    • It is frightening and disheartening when you get hit by that longing, after 559 days no less! I too had this experience at the beginning of this year, and it was quite intense – lasted on and off for about a month. I had no triggers that I could identify – just wham! Shook me up, but at the same time made me bloody determined to keep going. Like you say, uncomfortable, and it does make you realise just how well marinated our society is in this stuff!

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    @Jessi I’ve just caught up with what’s happening for you in the feed. You will be very much in my thoughts tonight and I hope you get some rest xxxooo

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thank you – I’m glad it’s helpful. It helps me keep honest about how it was by writing it down on here, too.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thanks! 🙂 I love your name by the way.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thanks heaps – I hope it can help others. I’d tried all sorts in the past to moderate, but I am a bottomless pit when it comes to drinking – no off switch. It always ended with me a wreck in one way or another.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thank you 🙂

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thanks 🙂

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Go you!! Yeah I realise now that I’m not lazy and ineffectual on weekends like I thought I was – I was just frickin hungover all the time!! I’ve done more in the last year and a half than I did in about the 8 years before that when I was drinking.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thanks! It’s still a work in progress. There may have been a cupcake incident tonight… ahaha! My neighbour had baked, it would have been impolite to say no. Heh.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    You can definitely do this. If it helps do message me, anytime.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Yeah it’s funny how my boozy brain kept trying to find other causes for my ill health – and avoiding the flippin obvious, all the bubbly wine I was pouring down my throat with no off switch. Ugh!!

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    You are a real inspiration to me – thanks.

    • I’m sure that you are a hell of an inspiration to a lot of people too. I can relate to a lot of your experiences both prior to and after you gave away booze. I didn’t take to fitness to quite the same extremes as you but physio was a major part of my rehab. That, meditation and a bloodyminded determination to put everything right with my family was my recovery.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thanks @sophia2 – I forgot one of the most important things – I come on here nearly every day and read.

  • Someone asked how people on here had stopped drinking. I was going to comment in the feed but thought I might as well post this in case it helps anyone else.

    I got to the point where the bad drinking binges were far outweighing the good. I felt terrible – fat, bloated, indigestion, chest pains, bad sleep, exhausted, depressed, anxious – big bad come downs for days afterwards. Hangovers would last several days. Brain fog, lack of concentration, shaky, upset stomach, headaches… and that was just the physical stuff. Emotionally it was all bad news. Fights with friends when drunk, storming off, quick to anger, quick to take offence and cry, failed relationship, not able to attend events with friends and family because of hangovers, letting people down because I couldn’t get out of bed… it was having such a massive impact on my life and it’s only now that I’m 1 year six months sober that I can stand back with enough clarity and see that. It was crushing me and filling me with shame and despair – but it was also, frighteningly, my normal.

    How did I do it? I read Mrs D’s book.
    I realised how much drinking was fucking up my life.
    I wrote down all the things that I would be getting rid of by ditching booze – all the things that were filling me with that crushing shame.
    In my weaker moments, I’d read the list and replay some of my worst moments in my head (there was quite the archive to chose from…).
    I avoided social things until I felt strong enough to go.
    If I freaked out (often with social anxiety, which was one of the things I’d been trying to mask and numb with the drinking) I’d leave early. People will give you shit, but once you leave they’re distracted by their next drink and move on.
    I ate heaps of chocolate and sugar to get through the first six months.
    Then I slapped myself around the face, put down the chocolate, and started putting my energy into the gym.
    I got a personal trainer and am focused on my health – my friends are stunned by the…[Read more]

    • Wonderful post. Thanks so much for sharing.You are amazing and strong xx

    • Well done and it’s good to see that you can reflect back on those eighteen months as a real milestone in your life. I can tell you that it only gets better. I have been off the booze for eight years now and you would think that at 71 that I would be slowing down a bit but health permitting I plan to work until 75 and then review it again. Retirement terrifies me. Had I continued drinking I would have been dead at 64 but I’m in top health and the grey matter has never been as sharp. Big congrats on your achievement and getting your life back.

      • You are a real inspiration to me – thanks.

        • I’m sure that you are a hell of an inspiration to a lot of people too. I can relate to a lot of your experiences both prior to and after you gave away booze. I didn’t take to fitness to quite the same extremes as you but physio was a major part of my rehab. That, meditation and a bloodyminded determination to put everything right with my family was my recovery.

    • @Lookingforhappiness oh so well said, I was reading going yes, yes, yes. I went to the doctor so many times thinking I must have some kind of food intolerances, now I know it was me poisoning myself on a daily basis. You must be so very proud of your life now

      • Yeah it’s funny how my boozy brain kept trying to find other causes for my ill health – and avoiding the flippin obvious, all the bubbly wine I was pouring down my throat with no off switch. Ugh!!

    • @Lookingforhappiness – love this post so much – you describe the situation so well – I’m in the early stages of doing this, it’s tough but it feels right – your post will help me continue my journey into to the ‘unknown’

    • Well done!!! 🙂

      • Thanks! It’s still a work in progress. There may have been a cupcake incident tonight… ahaha! My neighbour had baked, it would have been impolite to say no. Heh.

    • Great post. It always amazes me how much alcohol steals from our lives, time and energy. Take the alcohol away and so many opportunitys open up. I’m about the same length of time into sobriety as you and I achieve so so much more now. Aren’t we glad we got rid of that out of our lives xo

      • Go you!! Yeah I realise now that I’m not lazy and ineffectual on weekends like I thought I was – I was just frickin hungover all the time!! I’ve done more in the last year and a half than I did in about the 8 years before that when I was drinking.

    • Great post! You are an inspiration!

    • Wonderful turn around! Terrific post, I hope anyone just starting out has found this. So much of life to enjoy when you are free from the clutches of booze!

    • Oh @Lookingforhappiness – what an amazing story!!! Pieces here that many here will so totally relate I have no doubt and what an inspirational piece to help others. Just a lovely turnaround you!

      • Thanks heaps – I hope it can help others. I’d tried all sorts in the past to moderate, but I am a bottomless pit when it comes to drinking – no off switch. It always ended with me a wreck in one way or another.

      • @Jessi I’ve just caught up with what’s happening for you in the feed. You will be very much in my thoughts tonight and I hope you get some rest xxxooo

    • You are amazing! What a truly inspirational post for those of us who may need a reminder, or those who are just beginning their AF journey. Thank you. You rock @Lookingforhappiness! 🙂

    • Thank you so much for sharing, it’s really helpful!

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 5 months ago

    If you’re not ready to tell your friends, maybe coming up with a good excuse would help keep them at bay – something like saying you are on antibiotics that will make you sick if you drink. Then you could drive without them hassling you.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 5 months ago

    Hi Mrs D I have a little dog who went through a ‘teenage’ phase and I got the most amazing dog trainer (in Welly) to come do a home visit and within 10 MINUTES she had him behaving. Now he is so good and the training she gave me worked well too 🙂 If you’d like the company and her name please drop me a line. It costs a bit but I’m so glad I did it, both the dog and I are much happier now.

  • Logged in to do my usual lurking and noticed it’s day 500 – it snuck up on me! It is getting easier, one day at a time. Kia kaha lovely people x

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 7 months ago

    heya @twdillon I know you’re getting a lot of advice thrown at you on here, so I wanted to say to you that this is still a safe place to come and post when you’re feeling at a low ebb – don’t feel pressured into responding to advice posts (everyone, I know they’re well intentioned – but maybe ease off a little aye?). Sometimes we all need a space to work through things gently and grieve, and I get the feeling that’s what you’re doing at the moment – only you know the pace you can do that at. Be kind to yourself and know that people are here listening when you need support.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    You both remind me of my favourite Sylvia Plath stanza:
    Out of the ash
    I rise with my red hair
    And I eat men like air.

  • The black dog is really nipping at my heels this week. Feeling tempted, but I won’t drink. Staying close here is helping. I’m Living Sober’s number one stalker. Day 428 today.

    For anyone with depression or who is supporting someone with depression, I think this video version of the book ‘I had a black dog, his name was depression’ is really well done.


    (I hope this link works – otherwise just google the title and the youtube video should come up).

    • Very well done ,, thanks for sharing it xxoo

    • Thanks so much for that link. I know that black dog, too. It’s no fun at all, is it? Hope you feel better soon x

    • Was wondering where you were!!! Congratulations on 428, 10 behind me, so you gotta stay the course – at least let’s make 2 years together 🙂 I will keep that link thank you very much. Now trying for early night so no black dogs can get my ankles. Have had plenty of anxiety which is horrible. XXXX

    • Hey there @lookingforhappiness I understand depression. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Keep stalking us. I’m off to sleep shortly but I’m sure there will be others awake to chat to xxoo

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Viva La Revolucion!

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    I’m obsessed with my soda stream – fresh fizzy water whenever you fancy it! Fizzed up a batch tonight, added some blood orange quencher, mint and ice.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Thanks @shivalingam wow 13 months and a relapse – that’s so important for me to hear, so I remember to stay vigilant. The bad old days are getting a bit blurry and distant, so I can see how easy it could be to slip before you knew it. So glad you are back on track and feeling good about it. And @Micheal777 I’m sure no one has forgotten about you – we were all sleeping at this end of the world. Take care.

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Thank you – reading everyone’s stories on here keeps me grounded. This site has made all the difference xxx

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Yes I still need to work on my self-talk a bit – it’s getting better, but my inner critic still wants to have her say – she can shut up!!

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    I’ll not drink to that!! 🙂

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Thanks heaps @morgan – and yes, it’d be great to meet up next time you’re in Welly xxx

  • Hiya everyone, day 412 for me. I had a nice snooze this Sunday arvo, wish the weekends were twice as long! I’m recovering from surgery (nothing serious) and going well. I went to a party last night and I was really pleased with how I managed – I’m a lot more accepting of the real me now than I was when I first stopped drinking. I’m naturally more introverted than I ever knew (the booze was masking that and making me act a lot more extroverted). Now that I’ve got my head around that, I’m happy being more on the sidelines, having nice chats, rather than out of control screeching and dancing. I also realised last night how I must have been the party pisshead a lot of the time… other people were just drinking normally. I hadn’t noticed that when I was drinking, because I assumed other people were getting wasted too. I had a booze dream during my nap today – I’ve been having a few in the last week – maybe boozy muscle memory for this time of year, when the drinking would be starting to crank up pre-Xmas… so good to wake up hangover free day after day 🙂

    • Go you! It is good you noticing the dreams and being aware of the “boozy muscle memory”. I got to 13 months in March this year and then had a two month relapse and I am not sure why I just lost my goal and focus. I am so gutted I let all that sober time get away from me. Now back at day 47 but feeling positive. Great having people to inspire me x

      • have u forgotten me???

      • Thanks @shivalingam wow 13 months and a relapse – that’s so important for me to hear, so I remember to stay vigilant. The bad old days are getting a bit blurry and distant, so I can see how easy it could be to slip before you knew it. So glad you are back on track and feeling good about it. And @Micheal777 I’m sure no one has forgotten about you – we were all sleeping at this end of the world. Take care.

    • 412 days is truly amazing. What an inspiration you are x

    • Wow – 412 days – amazing @lookingforhappiness! I’ve noticed too that there are usually only a few pissheads (as you say) and everyone else is drinking normally. Makes me cringe a bit to remember back – thinking others were just like me (and likely not), but at 217 days, the ability to forgive myself is getting easier and now I’m moving forward in this happier, more productive, content life. I’ve been starting to wonder too how the holidays will affect me this year – haven’t had any of the dreams yet – onward to face all the new experiences 🙂

    • I too am enjoying just resting when I want/can. Funny that when I was drinking I would have thought this was something I would never treat myself to, or do when I needed to, yet it was ok to drink all afternoon and fall asleep comatosed! I obviously must have thought that by drinking I was doing something. Warped thinking. Here’s to happy, healthy, sober sleeps x

    • That is a massive change and you are sounding so positive about it!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Loved reading this and pleased you are on the mend. Meet you next trip to Welli? XXXX

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 10 months ago

    Thanks! Sober warriors like putting on their dressing gowns as soon as they get home from work, aye? 😉

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 10 months ago

    Thanks!! You are an awesome presence on here lady 🙂

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 10 months ago

    They are so worth it. I’ve got my life back. I’ve got me back. Actually, not sure I’ve ever had them before – drank solidly from 15 to 35 (except for the odd dry drunk stint).

  • Lookingforhappiness posted a new activity comment 3 years, 10 months ago

    Thanks heaps 🙂 I’m heading out for dinner with a friend tomorrow to celebrate.

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