Good day warriors! It’s time to slowly get back into action after a few much needed days of rest, as I’d treated myself like a factory machine capable of producing radical solutions to my every want, need, thought and desire for the last few weeks. It was self made sensory overload, to say the least, but I’ve found my way back to stardust. The tough times are hard but they have become where my greatest lessons are learned and that goes way beyond just not drinking through them, not to say that hasn’t been a challenge. I need to work more on acceptance, especially of where I am with my life and to stop worrying about what others think of me. I’d recently been ridiculed and somewhat bullied at my work for being a non drinker. It actually cost me my job in the end because I didn’t want to fight it, I did not fit in nor did I want to so I quit. I couldn’t at the time but I can now see this as a massive improvement, as I couldn’t hold a job at all a few years ago, when I was constantly drunk. I also feel no resentment towards them, while I am far too familiar with the amount of dysfunction that lies within an active alcoholic family, as I am a survivor of one and survivor is suiting while most are dead. I’m so happy right now just to know that I don’t have to deal with the constant and agonizing pain that is created through active addiction and to have the exact same things spill out onto others. It’s such a miserable way of life that I’ve fought so incredibly fucking hard to exit and I won’t let anyone or thing take it away from me. There were a few other things that had happened around the same time which made everything seem unbearable and run worthy but in the big picture they are just a few more things that need to be cleaned from the slate. I guess I’m still clearing the grounds for the sober self discovery rocket to be launched. It’s hard work at times but is the most rewarding that I’ve ever found.
You are doing so great @Lee@ and you express your awareness so well. Someone on here said something in the early days that helped me a lot…..so simple but effective. It was “comparison is the thief of happiness”. Xxx