There’s much to be ended in order to start something new in life and I can easily refer this to drinking but what can’t be, really. I’ve ended my job before it ended me but am equally as busy, if not more so (very much more so) orchestrating a plan that will have me located over many seas, for a little while anyway and then wherever I choose to land. This is big and I am having to battle within my courage. It’s the alcoholic thoughts that keep meat bay. You can’t, You won’t. Uhg.. I am going to sell everything and the funny thing is that it’s all speaking to me now, even a chair. “Where did you get me? What purpose did I serve? What am I worth and will I have a better home?” It’s just a fucking chair! Toughest part was staring at a painting (portrait) of one of my 2 dogs, that are gone now, that hangs perfectly visible just away from my bed. It makes me so sad but I cannot bring him back and will I spend the rest of my life staring at this self created portrait and cry? Things are in motion and I am determined to make this happen. I have made so many little changes leading up to this but have kept on finding my way back to the old ideas (again, much like drinking) which have held me hostage in one way or another. I will likely try to find a very quiet place to just rest and let it all soak in during the first part of my journey as it will be needed and will figure out what’s next after that. Moving forward in so many ways. It feels really good mainly but a bit scary as well.
I appreciate this very much @MissBennet. Things get tougher as we get to be a bit older, of course but at what point do we call it quits. Booze took up and saturated such a huge part of my life, and for now, everything around me is a reminder and a specific part of history that involved it all. I’m not running but I see no reason to drag it all along with me as I continue to clear my path.
@Liberty, just the thought of how you handled things and got a much needed message to @jess speaks volumes of what one decent and willing human is capable of doing. That same light hovers brilliantly now, as we can clearly see that we are not alone in our struggles. I really do hope to get to meet you and many others while visiting. It is exciting. Can’t wait to step foot on some different ground and in such an apparently beautiful place.
Ok. this has me dying laughing but I cannot and dare not edit anything because things are very hard to find in outer space. I said, “It’s the alcoholic thoughts that keep meat at bay” when I clearly meant “Me at”. It’s funny though. Meat at bay? Sounds like a trap used to catch seafood or to find unusual things in the water. I really do need to get out of here.
I’ve thought of so many names for it but initially it will find itself if I just begin to write it. The format will begin from much earlier in my life and the development cases will be extended in numerous ways, which in turns means, not all derived from the booze bastard. I’m looking forward to giving so many other things in life a great account.
Plan yer work, work your plan, @Lee. You’ll be doing well to have survived summer in the deep south. Yuck, done a few, myself. Any short-term trips up north somewhere near a lake or river before summers over? A short reprieve for now?
I’ve decided to extend my preparation time to 6 months before I leave this place @malibustacey. I was able to cut the lease on my place to that instead of a year and then it will be month to month. It’s nice that they are working with me on that, as the fear of being stuck here for a whole year was weighing heavy on me. Freedom bells will ring. The “Clampit family” comment that you made earlier still has me laughing and I thank you dearly for that. Just another big sharp rock in my shoe as I move steadily forward. I could go on and on about that part but what’s the use and I will likely face more of the same as long as I am here. Hurricane season will be heavily upon us soon and I’ll have to deal with that but at least the weather will become nicer soon enough. In the meantime I’ve tossed out that rock, will polish my shoes and see what’s next. Job hunting feels like it’s become a sport, too bad I can’t get paid for it. When and where were you down south? There are so many survival techniques here that will not be missed. Drinking is top of the list.