Good day/night to all of you fabulous sober people across the universe and to everyone still struggling in the boozy trap. That’s exactly what it is but is by no means mandatory. Day 4 here. I cringe a bit with that number but am also very grateful. I must remember, most importantly, that it was a lack of acceptance that allowed me to falter. I slipped out of gratitude first and then did what I know best to numb the pain. It didn’t work, nor will it ever. It did do it’s best known job of making me physically ill and even more down. It was a one day deal that took days to recover from. I am ever so grateful that I had the means to stop. I need not go into detail of what brought on the sense of desperation to, once again, disappear. There are all kinds of life situations that make us uncomfortable, illness, deaths, man made or natural catastrophes but alcohol is not a magic wand that will make things better, it’s a torch that just burns everything down, including the consumer in time. I put a picture to the name today, not that I was in hiding, I just never felt the need. Now I do as I don’t want to lose sight of the bright eyed sober person I’ve become. It’s taken years and a ton of hard work to get to where I am in my recovery. I don’t quite know how I survived the years before, but I did somehow and it’s nothing I want to repeat, and likely wouldn’t survive long. The real desire to drink left me quite some time ago, along with the denial of the damaging effects it had. Now the focus lies on not ever using it again as a weapon against conditions or myself. There’s much more work to be done.
I’m relieved and happy to be on this wagon with you all @freedom1025 and that my last bout with alcohol was a short test. And if a few words can prevent someone else from having an unnecessary lapse @Liberty, then it’s all worthwhile. Getting this stuff out is so helpful and healthy as well. Sometimes, I think, we need to come clean with ourselves. Those old ideas come creeping in. They need to be shut and shot down somehow. This place is gold and the best sober tool I’ve yet found.
Agree with @liberty … so many gold nuggets here! “Alcohol is not a magic wand that makes everything better, it’s a torch that burns everything down.” Truer words were never spoken. Glad you got right back on the wagon with us. xoxo
Very powerful post @lee-2. You continue to inspire with your honesty and willingness to lay it all out there. I tend to filter everything. I hope one day to be brave enough to lay it all out there as you do.