70 days today. I like even numbers! There’s been another life swing that has left me happy and content, this time, which allows me to see how everything levels out in time. Not to be fooled as life can get tricky but the greatest solution, I’ve found, Is to hold myself and my life hostage during the rough spots, and to not allow the opposing forces (thoughts) take over. It’s amazing to think about the mismanagement that alcohol added to my life and or allowed me to pursue. I had killed the biggest and most important friendship there is, which is the one with myself. I got sober and we’ve made up. I’ve stopped doubting, criticizing and poisoning myself. I listen to my own needs and tend to what’s rational. I cannot radiate kindness if I stand empty of the source. I am investing in and feeding the soul that I must carry during this existence. I may have gotten lost somewhere to begin with but alcohol certainly sent me even further away into hell’s burning bushes and kept them burning faster and longer. It was the perfect catalyst for emotional and physical disaster. I learned that it was far from a reward the very hard way. Hitting bottom doesn’t always mean losing material possessions like a house or a car. What good is a home when there’s no one inside? Losing self is the worst thing that can ever happen and it does and will as we continue to drown ourselves out. My sober life is just really beginning to flourish and it is truly amazing. Early birds, in the first few weeks, please hang on to ya britches. Shit gets real and then real good!!! All so very worth it, as you are!!! xoxox
@Lee, congratulations to 10 full weeks, and thank you for the encouragement. I can definitely relate to what you said, “I had killed the biggest and most important friendship there is, which is the one with myself. I got sober and we’ve made up.” I feel like I do not know who the real me is while I am poisoning myself. I am on the right path to finding my lost friend as well.