• Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 day, 10 hours ago

    My heart goes out to you @Jesss Sending much love your way. Yes, you can do this sober! Stay strong!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 day, 10 hours ago

    It is @wakingowl, and it’s a first. Most are older and no one makes plans for after work, they go home to their spouses after having their one shift drink that complementary at work. Some may hit it up when they get home. None of my business though. I’ve heard stories of a few people that were let go, in the past, for being drunk at work . Would be the case for me if I were to ever start drinking again. Uhg. Just the thought!

    • @Lee I’m one of the oldest folks in my department, the youngsters are all heavy drinkers, they go out together several nights a week and I know several of them drink alone a lot of nights. My department head just split from his wife of 30 years and I know it has to do with his alcohol problem. It all makes me very sad sometimes.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    Big congrats @wakingowl! All of the little things add up, don’t they. So happy for you!!

  • Lee@ posted an update 1 day, 11 hours ago

    I survived a birthday and so did everyone else. Thank you all for the kind wishes!! There are no fires burning outside of my house or people waving flags that read “You Shall Drink or Die Scumbag!” I did receive invitations to “party” which I politely ignored and was asleep with a belly full of Pad Thai by 630 pm. My gift to myself was/is to remain well. As the story goes, I’m very aware of how things don’t work out so well for me drinking and it really hasn’t been that long since my last terrible binge ended, 108 days to be exact, so it’s pretty fresh in my mind. I still have a small “Drunk Lee” fan club that would love to see me do it again and I’ve had to turn my back so often it feels like I’m spinning. It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to drink to make someone else happy when I am already struggling (at times) to find happiness from within my sober self. I recall searching for the ones who would partake in the drunken madness and listen to my cries of unfairness and woe. Birds of broken feathers. It’s been really hard to break these chains, It’s taken years and I have to be really careful not to stick my foot in it.” Walk that dog somewhere else mister!” will not even suffice, I need to take a completely different path. So be it. “Eat the cookie before it crumbles” and all that jazz. I feel as though those feelings of “Drink Deprivation” should be entirely gone, given all of the ugly proof of where drinking takes me, but they’re not. I still have to battle the lingering thoughts from time to time but my ammunition supply is growing steadily as my life gets better and I have much more reason not to throw in the guns. Big congrats to all of the day ones here, I’m seeing plenty. Do this because you CAN and are worth it!

    • Congratulations on 108 days and that birthday! I have my work mates that would love to see me go out and have a few…they tell me how much ” fun” I was. Well that “fun” always ended up causing a pile of regrets and I’m just not willing to go back there. Must be interesting to be at a job where they only know the new sober you.

      • It is @wakingowl, and it’s a first. Most are older and no one makes plans for after work, they go home to their spouses after having their one shift drink that complementary at work. Some may hit it up when they get home. None of my business though. I’ve heard stories of a few people that were let go, in the past, for being drunk at work . Would be the case for me if I were to ever start drinking again. Uhg. Just the thought!

        • @Lee I’m one of the oldest folks in my department, the youngsters are all heavy drinkers, they go out together several nights a week and I know several of them drink alone a lot of nights. My department head just split from his wife of 30 years and I know it has to do with his alcohol problem. It all makes me very sad sometimes.

    • Love the “drunk Lee fan club” 😉 – now you have a sober Lee fan club right here! Well done to you Lee – keep up the good fight! 🙂

    • Belated happy birthday you star. Yup different path, and you’re on it. Pls don’t give yourself a hard time about the ‘drink deprivation’ thoughts/feelings still being there @lee-2. They are what they are and the less power we give them, the less they have. I still get flashes of them at over 3 years. As you say, you build up other tools and they’re no longer needed, and they lose their impact over time. xx

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 day, 13 hours ago

    Cut the cord! Get off of the entire ride. Get rid of your stash, if you have one and start now @dylan-john. This parachute metaphor is understandable but is allowing room for more destruction. It’s the booze talking. You can take full control of your actions (choice) and stop. Keep posting!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 day, 13 hours ago

    Thanks for this reminder @itsnowornever. No one at my current job has ever witnessed me being drunk or hungover and I pray that they don’t ever as it would likely be just drunk. I never did well with hangovers so would just keep drinking. Solved that problem right?

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    I’m really glad to have back tracked a bit and reread this @malibustacey, as this is far from a “stab at it”, you nailed it. I’ve gotten past those fleeting thoughts, although they seem to get replaced with other totally ridiculous ones at times. I just keep swatting them away or spitting them out, to be heard by someone else who can help sort and place in the appropriate bull shit pile! You are my number one ally regarding this and it means the world to me!! Much love and thanks!!!xo

    • For sure, @Lee@. You just maintain special caution as to whom you allow into your parameters. How’s your health these days?? x

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 days, 7 hours ago

    Yes @Ro, that big drama filled booze drenched crusade I was once a part of. Just got a bit of a headache typing that. lol! Going out for Thai and will do just that, pig right out, then come home and sleep like a big glubber!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 days, 7 hours ago

    I really appreciate how you’ve defined this stage @DaveH as I was/am beginning to feel a bit alienated. Shared it at a meeting as well the other night and got some wonderful feedback. I’m on step 6 and it’s harvesting all of the reckless behaviors. Now that they are in light, they must be smashed, just like the booze was. Nothing about this is easy but it has to be done.

    • Hi @lee-2 as you look across your whole progress away from despair try to divide the challenges into these three areas. 1. Stopping drinking. 2. Becoming well 3. Staying well. They don’t run one after the other they all overlap but this is our progression into feeling fulfilled in life. Each of these phases has completely different challenges and disciplines and you will see them clearly once you stop and look. You are well into “becoming well” and fast approaching the time when managing your condition becomes the main thing you have to work at. I like to think of my work on addiction as “treatment”. While I keep doing the work (taking my medicine) I stay well. But if I fall off the treatment plan the the symptoms return. If I let those symptoms gain strength then I will drink again so the challenge becomes recognizing when things aren’t right in my head and then taking the right corrective action. It takes some ups and downs and learning to get a good grip of this but it comes as our self-awareness improves… and you are running well ahead of the pack on that one. You’re going great and an inspiration to everyone. Please don’t underestimate how you sharing your journey here helps others. For everyone that replies to something you say there are 50 that it touches that you don’t see. Keep learning and growing and shining.

  • Lee@ posted an update 2 days, 7 hours ago

    Turned 53 years old today and really could care less. My main focus is the same, which is trying to live a better and alcohol free life. The challenges I face now are very different than 107 days ago. I am discovering this person I’ve drug around drunk for the last 30 odd years, why did she drink, what was she trying so desperately to hide and how can I help her. In all honesty, this is keeping me very very busy and it’s often not fun. Life can’t always be fun and at least this is productive. Drinking had become a gruesome chore towards the end and wasn’t fun at all. It’s my job to remember this and to do whatever it takes to prevent it from happening again. I’ve allowed my world to get pretty small these days which is important with the task at hand. I don’t have nearly as much pressure from the outside world which is perfect at the moment as I’m in this sort of incubation stage and have no earthly idea what I may hatch into. Whatever it is will not be mutated with booze! Am off to lunch with a sober friend but that’s my big plan for the day. I am surrounded by the drunk and the restless, all willing to sweep me off of my sober feet but for this I care NOT. That pandora’s box is shut! Have a great day all!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 days, 9 hours ago

    Great to hear your mom is home and your getting some relief @Jesss. I can see how this form of treatment would work in a controlled environment. It’s ancient and can be successful. I think that your very brave for trying it. I am all for whatever works for us. Just as long as it’s not potentially addictive or can create bodily harm.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 days, 14 hours ago

    @Lucy, It sounds like you were a morning drinker, like me, well I’d always become that in a short period of time. I do not miss that shit, the horrible anxiety and having to get those first few down before I could do anything and then that first waking hour would be spent on my daily booze inventory, to make sure that I had enough to get through the day. I probably spent 20 dollars a week on mints alone. lol. Like they helped. I had to reek as I barely ate and would drink tons. The choice to quit drinking has been the best choice I’ve ever made @itsnowornever although it hasn’t come easy. It’s hard to break lifelong habits but it can be done. I’m proud of all of us very brave souls!!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 days, 14 hours ago

    It’s just a bump in the road for you @lydia727 but I fully understand/get the pain. It’s the big WHY? Why do I keep touching the hot object just to make sure that it is? For some of us this takes a while to learn, certainly has for me, but you should give yourself a shit ton of credit for your sober time and for being able to stop again. My last binge ended 107 days ago and it’s finally becoming clear, after 30 years of drinking, that I need not drink under any circumstances and that the result is always the same. I’d narrowed it down to drinking roughly 3 times a year, for the last 5, but it would always become a drinking marathon that I would lose and fall flat on my ass again, because I cannot stop and that’s where it takes me. Dust it off. You know what’s best for you and are doing it! xo

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 days, 23 hours ago

    Dust it off @craftygirl and keep moving forward. It was just one day right, so leave it at that. Kicking yourself won’t help. Treat yourself kindly and for Gods sake don’t let that man bring you down! He’s lucky not to be tied up in a basement somewhere. Do this sober life for you because you are worth it!!!xo

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 4 days, 4 hours ago

    @lucy it’s more like 3 tits, 5 eyes and some horns! Sucks being looked upon as a leper just because we are trying to better ourselves. I only get the jab from a few though. The rest at lease have some sense about them.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 4 days, 5 hours ago

    @morgan It’s not everyone, just a few. One made a snide remark recently after I’d commented on how a food item made me happy. She said “I guess it doesn’t take much since you don’t drink”. The same one is always commenting on how little she drinks. Who the fuck cares really. I don’t go around bragging on being sober nor do I judge those that drink but I already know that there’s a certain amount of misery to be had and shared by problem drinkers (having been one) and I am sort of being snuffed for being out in left field. There are 2 people that are apparently miserable and choose to extend their unfavorable behaviors in my direction. I don’t think I was ever so cruel. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 4 days, 11 hours ago

    This too shall pass! Your going great @Lucy! Take it easy tonight if you can.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 4 days, 11 hours ago

    Sometimes it’s best to do nothing and the answers come later. Glad your feeling better! Allergies kicking me around a bit as well. Hot summer is here already. 94 F and climbing. Lot’s to be thankful for in this sober life! The tough days always end better without a hangover!

  • Lee@ posted an update 4 days, 11 hours ago

    105 days at a time today. I’m finding it a bit strange just how much I live in my own head these days. Finding hard to relate to people at work sometimes but most of my free time is spent doing recovery related or other healthy, constructive things and I’m quite sure no one there is interested in where I am at with my recovery or the books I’m reading, (although some maybe would benefit) therefore conversations are very limited. At this point, anyway. Feels like an odd sort of growing pain, one that doesn’t hurt though, and I know that this is just a phase and exactly where I need to be in order to continue this sober journey. I always have the option to be drunk instead but that hasn’t worked out very well for me during the last 30 years. Missing a few warriors here lately. @malibustacey, @DaveH, @Wakingowl Come out, wherever you are!! Wishing everyone a fantastic sober day!!xo

    • I feel like that @Lee, I spend all my time reading sober books that i don’t seem to talk about it at work, they just wouldn’t get it.. in fact a friend at work said “I’m getting slaughtered tonight” then looked at me and said “oh sorry luce”… she just doesn’t get that I couldn’t give a rats arse how pissed she gets or how hung over she is tomorrow, this is about me and normal drinkers just don’t understand that this is an addiction and we can’t help it.. I get fed up of being looked at as if I’ve got 3 tits… anyway sorry to go on.. just thought I’d say congrats for 105 days x

      • Isn’t it strange how people have to tell us things? Almost every night the lovely friend I live with has to tell me how much she has drunk, or how she bought wine after intending not to etc etc – it is a fantastic reminder of the terrible prison one is in when hooked. Helps me, but curious.

        • @morgan It’s not everyone, just a few. One made a snide remark recently after I’d commented on how a food item made me happy. She said “I guess it doesn’t take much since you don’t drink”. The same one is always commenting on how little she drinks. Who the fuck cares really. I don’t go around bragging on being sober nor do I judge those that drink but I already know that there’s a certain amount of misery to be had and shared by problem drinkers (having been one) and I am sort of being snuffed for being out in left field. There are 2 people that are apparently miserable and choose to extend their unfavorable behaviors in my direction. I don’t think I was ever so cruel. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive.

      • @lucy it’s more like 3 tits, 5 eyes and some horns! Sucks being looked upon as a leper just because we are trying to better ourselves. I only get the jab from a few though. The rest at lease have some sense about them.

    • @Lee thanks for thinking about me, was just about to post for the first time in days. Good on you for 105 days!
      It does seem we inhabit our own little world some days, it’s amazing how much time and space staying clean and healthy takes up.

    • Hi @lee-2 Yet again I read one of your posts and smile at the remarkable pace of change in you and your self-awareness of them. You say “I’m finding it a bit strange just how much I live in my own head these days…. most of my free time is spent doing recovery related or other healthy, constructive” Isn’t that a colossal change? There was a time not at all far back that time alone was filled with churning thoughts filled with doubt, fear, and dread and then drinking to oblivion. Now that time is spent making things better for yourself instead of making things worse. You also have this remarkable comment “Feels like an odd sort of growing pain” and this is precisely what it is. I drank from an early age and then increasingly heavily from my twenties onwards. While in that time I continued to learn new things and grow my capability what I was not doing was growing as a person; that had been paused while I served my addiction. But it began again once I stopped drinking. This line describes it well. “I started to become the person I should have been a long time ago”. My life has changed completely since I stopped drinking and it has changed in ways I could never have foreseen. I couldn’t foresee them because I am a quite different person to the drunk that once lived in my brain. I live entirely differently, I do different things, I think differently, I am motivated differently, my values are different; everything, absolutely everything is different. This all took quite a bit of exploring, discovering and growing into. It felt a bit weird sometimes but it all formed up into a completely new personality. I didn’t revert to the person that I was before I started drinking (I was only a teenager then), I became someone totally different. That is the journey you are on now and it is going to take you to some entirely unexpected places.

      • I really appreciate how you’ve defined this stage @DaveH as I was/am beginning to feel a bit alienated. Shared it at a meeting as well the other night and got some wonderful feedback. I’m on step 6 and it’s harvesting all of the reckless behaviors. Now that they are in light, they must be smashed, just like the booze was. Nothing about this is easy but it has to be done.

        • Hi @lee-2 as you look across your whole progress away from despair try to divide the challenges into these three areas. 1. Stopping drinking. 2. Becoming well 3. Staying well. They don’t run one after the other they all overlap but this is our progression into feeling fulfilled in life. Each of these phases has completely different challenges and disciplines and you will see them clearly once you stop and look. You are well into “becoming well” and fast approaching the time when managing your condition becomes the main thing you have to work at. I like to think of my work on addiction as “treatment”. While I keep doing the work (taking my medicine) I stay well. But if I fall off the treatment plan the the symptoms return. If I let those symptoms gain strength then I will drink again so the challenge becomes recognizing when things aren’t right in my head and then taking the right corrective action. It takes some ups and downs and learning to get a good grip of this but it comes as our self-awareness improves… and you are running well ahead of the pack on that one. You’re going great and an inspiration to everyone. Please don’t underestimate how you sharing your journey here helps others. For everyone that replies to something you say there are 50 that it touches that you don’t see. Keep learning and growing and shining.

    • Heya Miss @Lee@…you are nothing less than spectacular!!! Working in the food & beverage industry must be a “mildly interesting” environment at the mo??? How do ya do it?? Mind you, I’ll bet you’re bloody brilliant, that’s how. Ohhh girl…we’re so honoured to follow your progress (as far as the ol’ alcohol is concerned). My my…lots’a love, M.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 5 days, 12 hours ago

    Totally agree with @jocord! The bad overrules the good, especially towards the end! Big congrats on 119!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 5 days, 12 hours ago

    Happy Soberversary @supercath! One year is amazing!!!!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 5 days, 23 hours ago

    @iowadawn I’m a bit confused as 11 hrs ago you said you got drunk. I may have read it incorrectly though. High five for all of the sober time either way! It is a journey after all.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Glad to hear your feeling better @Lucy! It’s amazing how quickly things start getting better without the booze! I’ve found that having plain yogurt with fresh fruit as my first meal helped my stomach tons. I’m not a fan of yogurt at all but It’s not so bad once you add the fruit and it really does help. Had read about this while looking for natural remedies. I tore up my insides pretty badly drinking and it’s taken a while for everything to settle down.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Ewe, he’s one of them. Give it a bit of time and have faith that it will work out but in the meantime maybe there’s someone else that could help out for that short period of time. Congrats on the job! Don’t let him spoil the excitement, things will work out. 🙂

  • Lee@ posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    101 days! Same journey but it feels like shifting gears a bit. Seeing the extra number helps, It’s like looking at a spiritual bank account or an investment of freedom that money can’t buy. I’ve got to feed this thing, somehow, though and I can’t quite reach it sitting on my ass. If I count on the number only, it’s certain to decline. Hard work is still ahead if I wan’t to enhance my personal growth, one of the many things that was diluted, distorted and drowned out by alcohol for many years. This shift is grand. It feels so much better to exert my energy toward healing instead of hurting and the results, so far, have been amazing. Subtle and slow at times but they add up. Drinking was never a reward. Had to smash the bottle as well as the idea. Have a great day all! xo

    • Great post @Lee.. and I do feel a big shift in my journey to (this time).. definitely a spiritual journey and so looking forward to a new happier life but I do know I have to put the work in and some days will be shit !!… looking forwards now past is past… massive congrats on 101.. xxx

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Big congrats on day 4 @Lucy! You are well on your way! Those shakes will leave soon. I’d always feel kind of wobbly and shaky for the first week. I drank a shit ton when I did though. Binge city, from dusk till dawn or dawn to dusk. Basically whenever my eyes were open. Phew, we get better. You have so much to look forward to! xoxox

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @Berealme, logging in at day 1, being honest with YOURSELF, and asking for help are a few key components of getting and staying sober. @freedom1025 mentioned some other very helpful resources, there are so many out there, it’s important to keep your mind busy with recovery related information. You’ve made it to 243 days AF before, now you can do that plus!

    • Thank you, one foot in front of the other right!

      • Hey, really identifying with you, even being 39! I’m day one (again). Planning on making checking in here a priority.

      • @Parky lets do this together!! My day is coming to and end, and the haze of yesterdays bad choices is finally wearing off. We can do this, and we will be celebrating our milestones along the way. I reached out to all my close friends and family as to get added accountability and support, you have close family that can help? I will be checking in here daily. 🙂

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Throw me to the street where the heartbeats beating
    beating all around me
    To the peaceful revolution
    and the perfect waves, surround me
    Take me to the ocean moving in slow motion
    I see it glitter in the sun
    then it’s freezing in the moonlight
    Never look back, never look back, never look away. Simple Minds- All the things she said.. Love this song.. Sounds like you ‘re having a great day”!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Aww! @hammer123 Such kind words! I’ve decided on a new pair of summer shoes. Sober feet!! xo

  • Lee@ posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    100 days AF today! Thinking of doing something nice to treat myself but just being and remaining sober is the best gift ever! Have a great day everyone!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Blessed it is @malibustacey! And it’s flying around as light as can be! The rest of me feels like lead as I just finished a very busy night at work but the clock has struck 100 or won-hundred and I am suddenly reinspired! Thank you my friend!!

  • Lee@ posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    Just read “Don’t get to complacent” on Mrs D’s blog. Thank you @behind-the-sofa as it is definitely a rough draft of the reality of just where drinking can take me.It brought on some (not so fond) memories. I can never say “I’ve got this” completely or my forgetter switch may turn to the ON position. I’d much rather continue not knowing what will happen when I don’t drink! It’s way more fun and interesting. I’m at the eve of my 100 day mark with 99 days and feeling rather giddy about it. It has been a few years since I’ve made it this far but the last time I wasn’t nearly as content. I suppose I needed a few more years of living proof that alcohol was by no means a reward and it was ruining my life. I’m relieved that it’s over and incredibly grateful to be on this journey with all of you lovely folk! I’m actually beginning to enjoy identifying myself as a non-drinker! Who’d a thought? It certainly beats what my life looked like drunk!

    • Amen.

    • Nice work Lee… make sure to treat yourself for 100 days…. triple digits is huge…. I like to journal to remind myself of the hell of drinking, otherwise I find I tend to start romanticizing it again… being here though helps though as you often hear horror stories of people who thought they were ‘better’ and tried to moderate…. welcome to the team : )

    • Way to go on the ton! Treat yourself and keep up the good work 🙂

    • Happy hundred days Lee
      💕❤️🌸🌺🌺🌺🌸❤️💕

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Day 2 and on to 3! You already know that the sick feelings (mental and physical) will leave and that everyday gets better! Be patient with and pamper yourself!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Great post @Aprilsfool and congrats on 111 days! fantastic number!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Sorry to hear this @kjpech. Can you talk to him while he’s not drinking and explain to him how this hurts you? You’ve got 77 days now which is amazing and it sucks that he’s not being supportive. It could be that he’s not happy about having to look at himself now that your not drinking. Laughs at your new hobbies? Nooooo. I’d have to take up kick boxing and make him the bag. 🙂

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Thanks @Bridgette! You are rocking this with 2 weeks! That, to me, is the hardest stretch. Keep on doing what your doing!!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    That can be tough, with family especially but the more we get through it the easier it gets. I’ve completely gotten past the end of the night “shift” drink that my coworkers have, it doesn’t even phase me but I do have a few family get togethers coming up where I know that I’ll have to be somewhat on guard. I say let them have it, for the most part now though. Have come this far and don’t plan on giving up my sobriety for anything. I’ll leave first. Big congrats on 83 days @jaxisdry! Look at us go!!!!xo

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Congrats on 2 months!! Be careful not to let your guard down to much. Especially in the beginning months. Each success adds up but we don’t entirely “got this”. Great to have a plan though and your doing fantastic!

  • Lee@ posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago

    98 days today. I’m making it past what had become my normal caving point, for the last few years at least. I’d always find an excuse or a reason to drink again right around the 3 month mark which would inevitably bring me right back to daily unlimited binge drinking, then I’d carry on with that until I became incredibly ill, so sick that I just couldn’t function anymore. This would only take a few weeks as my body just can’t handle it after so many years of drinking heavily. Nor can my soul. It scares me to think about what I’ve done to myself and for how long this pattern has continued, and how easily it could happen again if I allow it to. For now I just keep reminding myself of how bad it gets, how much pain it caused, how much better my life is without it and continue to push away any fleeting thoughts that may glamorize it. There’s nothing glamorous about selling myself short and becoming a slave to a substance over and over again. So the battle continues and I am armed with the desire to never drink again as well as a whole new stack of recovery literature to read. It’s so worth my time and continuous effort to do all of the “right next things” in order to stay sober. Learning to find the comfort from within instead of outside takes time but I’ve had some success and am plowing forward. I have you all here to thank, as well as millions of others who are realizing that life without substances is possible, better and are part of this great movement to rid them from our lives. We are the cool kids now and are never alone!!

    • Congrats on 98 days Lee!! Yes, we are definitely the cool kids now 🙂 xo

    • You are doing so well @lee-2! You have so much wisdom about recovery, and you are so willing to share it. You continue to inspire me and so many others here. Congratulations on 98 days!

    • Hi my cool friend! I’ll give you a word of warning which will perhaps help push you past that 100 day mark. I had an appointment with my osteoporosis doctor yesterday. I have full blown osteoporosis and am at high risk of fracture of the spine. This was not completely caused by drinking, but drinking sure added to my risk factors. It’s genetic in my family. We are caucasian, little women. Even though I exercised my entire life I still got it. The dr says women, especially drinkers, should get a baseline at 40 not wait until 65 as recommended. I have a few years before 65 but am lucky to get checked now. So no bending forward, backward, sideways, or sit ups for me. I have to give up yoga because of the bending and twists. I have to go on Fosomax. Rather than drinking alcohol I should have been drinking milk! Picture your insides and what booze did to you. Cool kids drink milk, not booze!

    • Congrats on 98 days!!! I’m struggling with the fleeting, glamorous thoughts of drinking……and just have to keep thinking about how I felt at the end (which was just last week…:). Not hungover in the traditional sense but just beyond bloated 1 morning from the night before….the drinking and the ridiculous drunk eating. My stomach ached and I just felt scary awful. I didn’t eat the whole day. I didn’t drink that night and made a decision to never feel that way again. So while this is hard, I desperately have to keep remembering how hard drinking was. Horribly hard.

      Good job everybody…:) XO

      • Congratulations, @Lee@. You are making amazing progress!

      • And @pattyw, congratulations to you too. I am just two weeks in myself, but 14 days sober is more than I have managed in more than a decade, so I’ll take it. Thank you for the reminder of the physical pain drinking brings…best wishes and best health to you!

    • You have the right attitude @lee,and you are doing it. congratulations.

    • @lee@ I am at day 83 and have been having the cravings for the last couple of day. I am away with the family and everyone is drinking wine so I came on here and so glad I saw your post so that I can now stop glamorising the want of wine. I am having my nice drink and checking in here. Awesome job 98 days. I like being a cool kid.

      • That can be tough, with family especially but the more we get through it the easier it gets. I’ve completely gotten past the end of the night “shift” drink that my coworkers have, it doesn’t even phase me but I do have a few family get togethers coming up where I know that I’ll have to be somewhat on guard. I say let them have it, for the most part now though. Have come this far and don’t plan on giving up my sobriety for anything. I’ll leave first. Big congrats on 83 days @jaxisdry! Look at us go!!!!xo

    • That’s so great Lee- almost 100! Congratulations…it’s all new territory. Super cool!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    That took strength and courage @teasy! Very well done!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Best news is that your here now, @lucy and asking for help. Getting off of that merry go round is the first step. I know that dark place so well, most of us have been there but you already know, having had sober time, that stopping is the first thing that has to happen. I feel for you, though. Countless times I’ve fooled myself thinking that I (it) was ok to drink and landed right back in the shit. Welcome back!

    • Thank you @lee-2… today not feeling great but know that having been here many times the shame and failure feelings are so bad.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Hi @footloose, yes, this does make me cringe but only because I had become a morning drinker as well, only I drank whiskey and did not stop all day. I know how awful it feels but the great news is that you can stop.
    Commit to quitting and life gets so much better! You may experience some unpleasant detox symptoms for a few days but once that parts over life begins. Hang in there! You can do this!!

    • Thankyou lee@
      24 hours without a drink, day 1 done and dusted!
      Can I ask did you have any health issues from your years of drinking?

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Even the bad days aren’t quite as rotten! By far, the best decision I’ve ever made as well!!! Xo

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Likewise @Aprilsfool! My patience are much better, especially in dealing with other people. HALTing is so important. Not good to run about hungry, angry, lonely and tired. Add drunk to that and wah lah! Hot mess! I’m so glad that parts over. 100 days must be a bit of a turning point as I am beginning to level out some at day 96.

  • Lee@ posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    It’s a bit bumpy on here today! Peoples post are all kinda jumping around. Like my mind did before I decided to quit drinking completely. Haven’t had a drink In 96 days and it’s still challenging at times, but I’m learning how to be good to myself, to be kind to myself and others and this task was not possible when I was drinking. I’ve stopped now and life is getting good. Not perfect but nothing is, and good is entirely different and better than shit, which it was before. I’ll take it! Have a great day all. Thinking the wine witch must of crashed into the satellite this morning… 🙂

    • Congratulations on 96 days, looking forward to your 100 days! Better is good and it will get even better still!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Oh @morgan, this is very true. It winds them up more if they don’t succeed in getting a bad reaction from us. Don’t give in and eventually they explode regardless but we get to keep our clean slate. One of the many beauties of being sober!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Sounds amazing @wakingowl! Love your last sentence, “….Happy to be facing whatever it will bring..” That says it all right there! We get happy again. What a huge reward! You sound recharged! brilliant! xo

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    I agree with @sober4real and @DaveH. I had some success staying sober in the past but it was limited until I made a firm commitment to my self. Doesn’t mean that I am never tempted to drink anymore, I just don’t give in to the temptations or cravings and they have become less frequent. It takes practice and effort to retrain the brain but that’s basically what I’ve had to do as mine was hard wired to drink. You can do this!

  • Lee@ posted an update 2 weeks ago

    I’m beginning to notice how all of the subtle changes that have occured, since I stopped drinking, are taking shape and have created the beginning of a completely new way of life. I feel, think and look better and my world has become more organized. Feels like I’m creating space for the new without knowing what it is yet but when it happens I’ll be ready. I don’t carry all of the booze soaked fears anymore, the unhealthy ones which hindered my existence. Crazy to think that all of this has happened in only 95 days AF but it would be so much crazier if I decided to give all of this up just to have a drink. Not happening!

    • I love all the subtle changes at the beginning, it’s so magical. The beauty of writing about them all here is it somehow cements those changes and makes them more real. It’s like consciously building a foundation. In previous AF phases, before being on the site, I would miss those precious things. I’d notice them at the time but lose track, undervalue them, not build on them. Part of staying AF I’ve come to realise, is properly valuing those subtle things.
      The are like jewels in the dust, these changes. Have to be paying attention or we don’t see them. 🙂 xx

    • I love the changes as well. I feel like a mindfulness guru some days: the senses suddenly bolster; leaves on trees stand out, the cut grass smells out of this world, the mountains are showing every crevice clearly, even the rain down the back of my neck. Loving it all.

    • Thanks for your wonderful post @Lee. I need to be reminded of just how wonderful sobriety is.

    • k1W1 replied 2 weeks ago

      It one thing I loved about the Intervention TV program, the before and afters. Afters – the skin glows the hair shines and they look sooo much better and thats just physical!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    It’s amazing how our lives change when we stop the sauce! Big congrats on 31 days!!xo

  • Load More