Hey @kjpeche , I’m sorry you’re going through this. He may not be able to give you the support you would like but we are here and I think you are killing it! You should be very proud of all your hard work! He may be jealous that you are making these positive changes and he’s not, keep doing your thing! I’d also have a talk when he’s not drinking to let him know how you feel. 77 is awesome!!!
I love this @mkusch and thank you for sharing. I’m not a writer and have been here for over a year and lurk mostly so I get it. Share whatever is on your mind, this place has gotten me through quite a few times when I was very tempted, so much support and inspiration. Your reasons sound very familiar. Have an idea of what you can say tonight in case it comes up, I find it usually isn’t half as big of a deal to others as I think it will be. You’ve got this, glad you’re here!
So glad you’re back @lucy! I’ve thought of you often, you were one the first ones to welcome me here and always so supportive. You still have all your sober days and you can do this! Don’t let that nasty voice get you down we are all here for you!
Exactly right! @newstart100 , I think it’s easy to forget the shifts in our lives since becoming alcohol free, it’s the little stuff that’s really the big stuff! Always good to have reminders love the freedom!
This is so good @hammer123 and something I have struggled with as well. I am still a work in progress too but realizing my journey will not be perfect has helped me get so much farther. And yes I think this is being kind to ourselves, really good thanks for sharing. Have a great day!
I was the same way @4wards, go long stretches then convince myself I can moderate. It never worked for me and was exhausting. Nice playing it forward to feeling great in the morning, that helps me so much too. Lets keep going!
@ladycrow This has been the hardest for me as well, so I can totally relate. We’ve had many discussions but the bottom line is I had to do it for me. It still can be tricky but the reality of drinking together is not the relaxing fun time anymore. I have told him sometimes it’s fine and I make sure I have a yummy snack and club soda drink for myself and other times I can’t be with him and I go do my own thing, read, pamper myself etc It’s still a work in progress we’ve been together over 20 years but I’m feeling really hopeful, the alternative is not an option for me. I read and article by Megan Peters in the Temper about stopping while your spouse still drinks, it was helpful.
@dreamer88 glad you’re here, it doesn’t erase all the time you had and all the learning. It can be a push forward to continue, lots of day ones here too. You’ve got this, sometimes we have to try to moderate to remind ourselves it really doesn’t work. What can you do to be kind to yourself today?
@daisy maybe make a long list of all the things you will do instead, treats, sober toolbox etc I found having it to look at helps you remember other ideas when you’re feeling you want to drink. Walking while listening to podcasts is really helpful for me, I try to find things I can relate to in any story and there is always something. Also every day is a fresh start, be kind to yourself!! that was hard for me but essential. Glad you’re here
Shout out to @mari135, going through “stuff” with college age daughter and your comment to @jr about her daughter was the first thing I read. It was meant for me to read I am sure and really helped me deal with situation in a understanding and compassionate way! Spot on advice our kids are dealing with so much and I thank God I can be a present mom for them now. Was once again so thankful I wasn’t drinking last night! This place is amazing! Thanks for sharing @jr, the advice you got helped me a ton too! Have a great day!
@mari135@krisb – agree! These “things” in life is what we thought we need to numb because they were hard, furstrating and/or scary. When in fact, this is the path call life. The good, the bad …..and thankful that NO amount of numbing makes it better, it only can make it seemingly feel like it went away for a bit, but just there again when our booze haze is gone and much time it is worse off because we did just pushed off what we should have done. Like a conversation, or just being present for someone. LOVED your advice to us @mari135
I can relate to this for sure @jr ! I’ve noticed any uncomfortable feeling, especially confrontation brings a big trigger moment for me. Anxiety over kids, big trigger too, so good you worked through it! It always feels better and we are learning so much about ourselves, good stuff! Refreshed mornings never get old!
I’m with you @maryb , I figured out my count one day it was a lot with a handful of one day slips. I call that amazing progress. I don’t like it anymore either which is crazy but also feel like I should be able to say never had a drop. My mindset has completely changed from the day I first logged on, still here mostly lurking too, most helpful thing for me. Thanks for sharing, always good to know someone feels the same. Have a great weekend!
I’m so grateful I don’t drink, I have family stuff going on and adding alcohol anxiety to it would be brutal. I’m thankful for all of you and my sweet pups who know when we need a snuggle! and TGIF ! and getting warmer here too!
Hope you’re feeling better today @stevef, holidays can be so hard. Maybe you can start new traditions next year, something different to look forward to. So glad we don’t drink, up or down always good to see you! Have a good day!