• kjpeche posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 77 today. A little sad today and trying everything to shake it. My husband can be a very hurtful person, I don’t know why but this is just in his nature. =( He said something to be while he was drinking last night that really upset me. It takes a lot to make me cry and I was crying on and off until I fell asleep. He is a very difficult person to be around sometimes. A lot of the times when I mention something about me being a different person or about my sobriety he rolls his eyes and makes jokes about my new hobbies. I don’t really know where I am going with this post but really needed to get it off my chest. Anyways…..going to do my best to move on from this and have a great day.

    • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

      Sorry to hear this @kjpech. Can you talk to him while he’s not drinking and explain to him how this hurts you? You’ve got 77 days now which is amazing and it sucks that he’s not being supportive. It could be that he’s not happy about having to look at himself now that your not drinking. Laughs at your new hobbies? Nooooo. I’d have to take up kick boxing and make him the bag. 🙂

    • Hey @kjpeche , I’m sorry you’re going through this. He may not be able to give you the support you would like but we are here and I think you are killing it! You should be very proud of all your hard work! He may be jealous that you are making these positive changes and he’s not, keep doing your thing! I’d also have a talk when he’s not drinking to let him know how you feel. 77 is awesome!!!

    • JM replied 1 month ago

      That is not fair @kjpeche. You’re doing great, day 77 is fantastic! I don’t think people actually speak their truth when they’re drinking – they often say dumb, mean stuff that would surprise them in their sobriety. A straight talk about his hurtful comments could help, I hope. xo

    • I admire you @kjpeche for being strong enough to live through all of that. 77 days is a long time. But it’s never long enough when someone is being hurtful. I’m sorry you had to endure that. I agree with everything everyone else has said. He may be threatened by your courage and commitment to yourself and to getting and staying sober. Whatever his problem is, I admire you for staying true to yourself and not allowing him to make his problem yours. I hope the opportunity presents for you to let him know how he hurt you. I hope things will get better. Carrying you in my heart today. Xox

    • Good to get it off your chest, sweetie! I went through decades of hubby saying incredible horrible things he denied saying or re-interpreted into kinder words the next day. He blamed much of his behavior on my drinking. After I quit he lost that excuse. Not being able to blame me stunned him into going to a psych. He went on meds and does not now often go off into irrational rants. If he does, we know his meds are off. I am very sorry you go through this. It’s his problem. Are you able to talk to him about it the next day or does he just get defensive? I’ve gone so far as to record my hubby. xo

    • Sorry to hear this @kjpeche. I was in a similar place 4.5years ago. My husband has not actively supported me but I decided early on this was my journey, my life and what I wanted for me. The wee rebel in me said “I’ll show you” and I’ve never been happier. Funny thing is, he has told others how proud he is of me!! And he has cut back big time on his drinking! Not sure where this is going but I want you to remember you are doing this for you, and only you. Everyone who benefits from this brave move on your part is a bonus. Don’t let him get you down you will be fine, stick close to the wonderful people here, and keep doing what you are doing. Not sure of the days I’ve been sober but I noticed almost $20,000 not spent on wine which I’ve spent on me and my beautiful family, holidays, fun stuff I remember and am grateful for. Very long post from me!, Chin up princess, don’t want your sober crown slipping. Xoxo

    • Don’t let him bring you down the fucker! What’s his buzz? Gets a kick out of bumming you out? Nah fuck that shit. Ask him outright what his problem is and does he want you to fail? He’s meant to be there for you through thick and thin, and build you up and love you. Not try and bring you down and be mean to you. Oh and he’s still drinking so you know is he jealous of your great accomplishment and wishes he was off the shit himself?

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