• kjpeche posted a new activity comment 11 hours, 26 minutes ago

    @whynot my husband knows the struggles with alcohol. I have been there to support him through everything but when its my turn he is nowhere to be found.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 11 hours, 27 minutes ago

    @ChardaNO thank you I really needed that cyber hug. =) I am going to go work on refinishing a piece of furniture so hoping that will help me relax and feel a bit better.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 11 hours, 28 minutes ago

    @Jocord I did not have a positive experience at the AA meeting I have attended so far but may look into some others in the area. The thing that gets me with my husband is he has his own struggles with alcohol and I put everything I have into helping him. Will listen for hours and give him the most support anyone could give. But for me he just doesn’t have the time. =(

  • Day 111 and this is not going to be a pretty post. I have held back a lot on here because I don’t want to just have a bitch fest but I can’t keep holding everything in. Its not helping my recovery one bit and I have no where else to safely put anything.
    First I will start by saying I had a very close call. I am still so disappointed in myself. I had a horrible day on Wednesday and said eff it all and went and bought wine. I ended up pouring it all down the drain but it has really shaken me. I thought prior to this that “i’ve got this” and I was finally healed of this disease but I am not. Now the wine witch has been screaming in my ear. I feel like it is starting all over again. The obsessive thoughts are back and they are killing me.
    Secondly, my rant is towards my husband. He is the most selfish man in the world. He give his phone way more attention than me. It is so bad now that he will flat out ignore everything I am saying if he is on his phone (which is a lot) and acts as though I am not even in the room. If I am having a tough time I text him and he just ignores my texts now because “he is sick of dealing with this”. Yesterday I texted him as I was having a rough time. saying “man I would love a glass on wine.” He just responds back saying “Well yeah I would love to have an endless bank account” Tha’ts it. Then I text again saying “well yeah me too but I am struggling”. He ignores it. He USED to listen and help a little but now he is sick of it so I have nobody to talk to. I feel like nobody cares whether I drink or not. I asked my 14 yr old daughter how things around here have changed for the better since I stopped drinking. She said nothing. I was trying to get something positive from someone and I got nothing.
    Thirdly, I need some serious prayers or good thoughts I feel like I am in real danger of relapsing. I am so down right now.

    • You are a strong and intelligent woman for dumping that bottle of wine out! That is an act of a Titan so give yourself some credit. I’m so sorry you are not getting support. I didn’t either at first, probably not strong support until 7 months. I guess my hubs had seen me fail so many times he was just waiting and preparing himself for the disappointment. Not that that excuses your husband’s incredibly insensitive behavior! Can you go to a meeting near you just to get some positive input? That can go a long way towards mitigating your familiy’s disappointing responses. Your 14 year old is, well, 14. I’m sure given some time she will be more supportive. Please find a way to care for yourself today, you’re doing so well! xoxo

      • @Jocord I did not have a positive experience at the AA meeting I have attended so far but may look into some others in the area. The thing that gets me with my husband is he has his own struggles with alcohol and I put everything I have into helping him. Will listen for hours and give him the most support anyone could give. But for me he just doesn’t have the time. =(

    • Oh, @kjpeche,
      I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Your post touched my heart. Is there a help line you could call? Can you get out and go for a drive? You have done so well so far. I wish I coul offer more. I saw your post and just had to reply. Here is a big cyber hug.

    • Sorry you aren’t getting the support you want. I know that my husband is supportive, but he doesn’t really want to talk about drinking. Also, his blindness/independence enabled him to be ok while I was drinking so much. It’ll take a while for him to fully trust me to support him. I was not always sunshine and roses while I was drinking.

    • im sorry that you feel “disappointed’ in yourself because you POURED THAT BOTTLE DOWN THE DRAIN! I wish you were feeling like a freaking warrior! My goodness! that is strength right there. congratulations on that decision alone. And I am really sorry that you are not feeling the support. Im only on day 6, but i have not told a soul. mostly because I am afraid i might fail- unlike you who has made it 6 months! maybe 6 months is a touch- point? half way to a year? well you know you have this safe place to land!! love you you. we are here for ya! xoxox

    • Day 111 is amazing. And how Id like to kick your husband in the cunt… Did I say that? Oh yes I did.
      I remember being bitterly disappointed when my daughter made a flippant remark about my sobriety when I was a month or two in, saying it made no difference to her. I was absolutely gutted. Fast forward a year or so and she freaked right out when she saw an empty wine bottle on the bench (cooking) and thought we’d resumed drinking. So don’t you worry your daughter will have noticed but probably thinks you will fail and will be worried about it more than likely. The thing is – we were drunk for years. That kind of damage can’t be taken away after 1 or 2 or 3 months, and although it’s a hell of a struggle for me and you, the kids don’t understand, how could they? We are meant to be strong and capable and whole, not weak and useless and broken. ( in their eyes I mean, don’t take that to heart)
      You choose your life. Imagine it without your husband for a minute? Better or worse? He either needs to shape up or ship the fuck out eh. This isn’t a dress rehearsal – let him marry his fucking phone if that’s what he’s interested in. Seriously you’d be better off on your own wouldn’t you?
      Happens to people when they sober up and see who they’ve been living with – turns out they don’t like them…
      You are a rock star for continuing in your sobriety when it would be easier to drink with him. It’s that why he’s shitty? Cos you can stop and he can’t? Too fucking bad. You look after yourself lady. No one else will by the sound of it…. Im sending you a hug too 🤗

    • Hi KJ. Good job coming here. I’m sorry you are having a rough day. At the end of the day each of us has to rely on ourselves for motivation. People can help, but can’t do it for us. I am using tools to help me change. I like SMART Recovery, which is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, more specifically Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. They have a boatload of tools under the Resources tab. The ABC exercise is perfect for this situation. It comes in handy if I start thinking what other people SHOULD be doing. Here’s the link if you want to give it a go. https://www.smartrecovery.org/smart-recovery-toolbox/abc-crash-course/
      In time ABC can be done quickly on the fly before REACTING to someone or something. Good luck!

    • D111 is fantastic! We have seen you try and try again; we know how hard it was to get here @kjpeche. You are phenomenal for tipping that bottle out – I don’t know if I could have done that at 111 days.
      It would be great if you could get some in-real-life support around you.
      But if not, there are podcasts, books, lots and lots of blogs and websites. You could sign up for Belle’s email thing where you email with her daily. (Belle from tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking). There might be a Smart recovery group in your area.
      Part of me seconds every thing @ro said. I mirror your anger and hurt. It sounds like it feels really dismissive when he responds to you like that. 🙁
      Another part of me goes; ok so he’s not going to support you.
      So you gave him support and he hasn’t returned it and it sounds like he has no intention of doing so. Alright, people don’t always show support how we’d like them to. It hurts and it sucks, but there it is. Maybe our expectation was reasonable, or maybe it got in the way. Maybe we were wanting them to do something we really needed to do for ourselves. Maybe that person has no idea how to give support. Either way we’re not going to get that need met from that person. Then what.
      Anger is a natural response here but for me it’s easy to get distracted by what the other person did or didn’t do and what I think they should have done. I lose track of myself in that. In this first year, it’s really important to keep your focus on you.
      Is the need wrong? Do you give up on that need for support? No, but you’ll need to try to meet it some other way inside yourself.
      If it is too destructive to be trying to support yourself in this environment, then what can you choose for you?
      I send a big hug too. xxx

  • kjpeche posted an update 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Day 107. Thank you for all your Birthday wishes on my previous post. I had a great sober Birthday, so much better than when I was drinking. You actually appreciate everything whether it be little or big. Getting closer to my next goal which is 120 days. The only thing right now that is really bothering me is my weight. I gained 10 pounds since I stopped from eating so much sugar and carbs. Its so frustrating to me and I don’t understand. I was drinking 2 bottles of wine a night and more on the weekends. How in the world did I not LOSE weight since stopping? I have to start tackling this weight soon because it is making me feel bad about myself. When I feel bad about myself I start to think about drinking to make myself feel better. That is not a option so cutting down my calorie intake is going to start today.

    • Hi @kjpeche I have lost a little but not a lot and I also was on 2+ bottles a night, but my food intake especially sweet stuff that I never touched has gone through the roof. I picked up my old weight watchers books today and am thinking too about eating a bit healthier now my I’ve began to address the booze. It’s funny cuz the last time I did ww’s I eat practically zero point food all day to allow for my wine intake every night, and didn’t record half of that either, so needless to say after 4 attempts and God knows how many $$$ I actually gained weight, and tortured myself in the bargain, what a prat😂😂😂😂 I thought today though how easy it would be with booze out the way to actually follow a healthier regime if I plan it. Not going back to group but gonna give it another go from home. There’s heaps of info and recipes online for free if you fancy a look at that, it’s a very flexible programme now 😊

    • I’ve gained some weight too since I quit drinking, baked goods have become my number one booze substitute. I’ve gotten so as long as I’m within a ten pound range of my ” happy” weight I don’t stress, ten pound “heavier me”is healthier than the lighter “drinking me” could ever have been.

    • I lost a little initially then put some on. Sugar cravings went hugely up; I didn’t consider myself someone with a sweet tooth before but it seems that I was drinking all that sugar in my alcohol. It seems a pretty typical pattern for people here. Our brain still wants that dopamine reward. But also maybe our metabolism takes a while too resettle. How long is long enough; I don’t know. Some people can tackle it after a few months, for me I tried to be relaxed about it and focus on being AF and healthy food rather than dieting. And then there’s emotional eating…

      • @kjpeche I can relate. You and I are on roughly the same day count (I’m on 110), and I’ve been struggling too.
        I’m trying to to easy Keto, but really just trying to cut down on carbs (they don’t make me feel that great) and up the vege components. I’m also trying to ease back into running, but only when I really feel like it.
        Basically, my goal is health, but let’s not kid anyone – I would like to lose some weight too.
        I have noticed that overall, this stress me so much less than it did when I was drinking.
        That ‘I hate myself’ cycle is really diminished with the lack of wine intake.
        It’s more like, oh well, tomorrow I need to try and be healthier, move on.
        I’m still really at the stage of trying to sleep as much as I can, take vitamins (did my bloods and I’m too low on iron), and be kind to myself. My skin looks great though!
        I have always struggled with not eating crap food. I love love love fried and savoury food. Sugar is not really my thing.
        I’m trying to think if I can not drink wine, then I can also not eat crap, but its definitely a journey and still a work in progress.

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    Day 104 and I am one day away from celebrating my 36th Birthday. SO excited to finally have a sober Birthday. Been trying for years. Going to spend a nice quiet weekend at home and work on refinishing some furniture I have been wanting to work on. Definitely not anything I would have been doing if I would still be drinking. Great to see so many newcomers and nice to see some of the old timers as well. =) The ones I looked up to (and still do!) when I first signed on to Living Sober 3 years ago.

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    Tomorrow I will be at day 100!!!! I am so happy. I had a rough week but came out feeling stronger than ever. It was my 1st sober vacation and 4th of July. I had some pretty strong pangs but i rode the wave and utilized my sober tools. Sobriety is so worth it. I was really really bad one hundred and so days ago. I really don’t know if I would have made it through the year if I kept going the way I was. Blacking out almost every night and waking up with uncontrollable body twitches for hours at a time and much more. I honestly cannot believe I am at 100 days. =)

  • kjpeche posted an update 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Day 95 and man I am struggling today. 4th of July week and everywhere I look I see more and more alcohol. I used to have so much fun drinking and watching the fireworks. Missing those times. But definitely not what comes after that.

    • I used to think that I danced because I was enjoying alcohol. It turns out I spontaneously dance even without alcohol. It might be that fireworks are just as fun sober…maybe?

    • congrats on day 95, @kjpeche.

    • Yes, definitely focus on the fact that you are going to FEEL SO GOOD on Friday girl! It’s never been worth it for me. Happy 4th! Sober 4ths rock!!

  • kjpeche posted an update 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    Day 90 today! I am so excited. I know I am still at the beginning of my journey but I feel so dang good! I have been on this site for 3 years now, had a lot of struggles and day ones but I finally made it to 90. I give all glory to God. So thankful for this this site as this has been my only means of support, Never ever give up!

  • kjpeche posted an update 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    Day 87 today and I am back feeling good after a week long battle with wine thoughts and very depressed moods. Man does it ever feel good to fight through and feel victorious after such a rough week. Friday will be my 90 days and the start of a 9 day vacation from work. I am so excited for that day. In my 15 years of drinking I have never been sober this long (with the exception on being pregnant).

    • So proud of you Getting through a hard week is what it takes and you are DOING IT 😊😊😊

      I’ve got a little warning bell in my head about your 15day vacation – but never mind what I think, do you think that’s a trigger time for you?

      If so plan plan plan 😊👍🏼

    • Great job!!

    • So great @kjpeche! 🎉🎆🌈😃🏄

    • You should feel so proud of yourself for winning such a tough battle! Go ahead and revel in it, you deserve it! On to 90 days, you warrior you!

  • kjpeche posted an update 4 weeks ago

    Day 84 today and making my way to 90 days. I have been feeling so down about myself the past couple of days and I have been having little thoughts of wine here and there. Is this normal for people around 90? For those over 90 have you done anything different to help propel you forward? I an NOT going to drink that isn’t even a possibility in my mind but I hate all these random thoughts returning.

    • JM replied 4 weeks ago

      Hi kjpeche! You’re doing so great! They are just thoughts, try to observe them, let them pass through. I used to feel like a craving was an order from my brain to go buy wine. But it’s not. Day 90 in less than a week! 🎉🌈

    • Oh yeah, they randomly happen for years. You’re doing exactly what I did to get past them. You have decided you’re not going to drink, so you don’t. Day 74 was a life changer for me. I don’t know why exactly. I just sort 9f decided it was too fabulous a number to ever go back to zero. I’m five years today. You have totally got this. You have already decided you’re not going to drink. Back yourself, you are totally worth it.

    • Maybe time to be kind to yourself @kjpeche? If you’ve been feeling down perhaps those thoughts are seeking a familiar path of relief. Can you consciously choose something a bit more life-affirming? Plan a massage, get some kind of treat, get yourself to a park, or for a swim…whatever would float your boat.

    • Hi @kjpeche, I was just listening to an episode of Annie Grace’s podcast where she talks about this. I think she said it’s around day 90 or so that we can forget about how shitty life with alcohol was, and maybe think we weren’t so bad–maybe we’d be OK with it now, after learning our lessons. Combine that predictable phenomenon with feeling down about ourselves for one reason or another, and wine sounds like a brilliant idea. Spoiler alert: It’s not, as you know.

      I think this is just a good reminder of how powerful alcohol is, and how it used to lie to us and we used to listen. Not any more, right?

      I think now’s the time to double down on self-care, to do more of the things that you’ve learned have helped you, and maybe add something new. One thing that I’m learning is that I can have so-called negative feelings–sorrow, anger, anguish–and they won’t kill me. I can let them flow through me. It’s not easy, but it’s so much better for me to feel than to try to push those feelings away. They are a normal part of life. Meditation is one thing that has helped me.

      So glad you aren’t going to drink–me neither, sister!

    • Awesome on day 84! I lapsed before at 4 months so, yes, I constantly had thoughts and fears about drinking until I got past that point. I kept working my program hard, everyday. Everytime I had a thought of a drink I denied it and told myself I was building stronger sober muscles. I was grumpy about it but not for very long. I also told myself I must need something if I wanted to drink, so what could I do to fill that need? You’re doing great!

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 77 today. A little sad today and trying everything to shake it. My husband can be a very hurtful person, I don’t know why but this is just in his nature. =( He said something to be while he was drinking last night that really upset me. It takes a lot to make me cry and I was crying on and off until I fell asleep. He is a very difficult person to be around sometimes. A lot of the times when I mention something about me being a different person or about my sobriety he rolls his eyes and makes jokes about my new hobbies. I don’t really know where I am going with this post but really needed to get it off my chest. Anyways…..going to do my best to move on from this and have a great day.

    • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

      Sorry to hear this @kjpech. Can you talk to him while he’s not drinking and explain to him how this hurts you? You’ve got 77 days now which is amazing and it sucks that he’s not being supportive. It could be that he’s not happy about having to look at himself now that your not drinking. Laughs at your new hobbies? Nooooo. I’d have to take up kick boxing and make him the bag. 🙂

    • Hey @kjpeche , I’m sorry you’re going through this. He may not be able to give you the support you would like but we are here and I think you are killing it! You should be very proud of all your hard work! He may be jealous that you are making these positive changes and he’s not, keep doing your thing! I’d also have a talk when he’s not drinking to let him know how you feel. 77 is awesome!!!

    • JM replied 1 month ago

      That is not fair @kjpeche. You’re doing great, day 77 is fantastic! I don’t think people actually speak their truth when they’re drinking – they often say dumb, mean stuff that would surprise them in their sobriety. A straight talk about his hurtful comments could help, I hope. xo

    • I admire you @kjpeche for being strong enough to live through all of that. 77 days is a long time. But it’s never long enough when someone is being hurtful. I’m sorry you had to endure that. I agree with everything everyone else has said. He may be threatened by your courage and commitment to yourself and to getting and staying sober. Whatever his problem is, I admire you for staying true to yourself and not allowing him to make his problem yours. I hope the opportunity presents for you to let him know how he hurt you. I hope things will get better. Carrying you in my heart today. Xox

    • Good to get it off your chest, sweetie! I went through decades of hubby saying incredible horrible things he denied saying or re-interpreted into kinder words the next day. He blamed much of his behavior on my drinking. After I quit he lost that excuse. Not being able to blame me stunned him into going to a psych. He went on meds and does not now often go off into irrational rants. If he does, we know his meds are off. I am very sorry you go through this. It’s his problem. Are you able to talk to him about it the next day or does he just get defensive? I’ve gone so far as to record my hubby. xo

    • Sorry to hear this @kjpeche. I was in a similar place 4.5years ago. My husband has not actively supported me but I decided early on this was my journey, my life and what I wanted for me. The wee rebel in me said “I’ll show you” and I’ve never been happier. Funny thing is, he has told others how proud he is of me!! And he has cut back big time on his drinking! Not sure where this is going but I want you to remember you are doing this for you, and only you. Everyone who benefits from this brave move on your part is a bonus. Don’t let him get you down you will be fine, stick close to the wonderful people here, and keep doing what you are doing. Not sure of the days I’ve been sober but I noticed almost $20,000 not spent on wine which I’ve spent on me and my beautiful family, holidays, fun stuff I remember and am grateful for. Very long post from me!, Chin up princess, don’t want your sober crown slipping. Xoxo

    • Ro replied 1 month ago

      Don’t let him bring you down the fucker! What’s his buzz? Gets a kick out of bumming you out? Nah fuck that shit. Ask him outright what his problem is and does he want you to fail? He’s meant to be there for you through thick and thin, and build you up and love you. Not try and bring you down and be mean to you. Oh and he’s still drinking so you know is he jealous of your great accomplishment and wishes he was off the shit himself?

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 month ago

    Hi all just wanted to check in. On day 76 today. Had my first drinking dream the other night and it really shook me. Woke up and was rather depressed all morning. Didn’t really know what to make of it. Probably meant nothing but just to be safe I am giving myself some extra self care and doing more and more sobriety work. I haven’t had any cravings in a really long time. Is this a good thing or am I going to be bombarded?? Just some questions I ask myself. I am never want to feel to comfortable in my sobriety and always put my armor on to fight this demon every single day.

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      Some have them, I think it’s just the way of the brain working through things, nothing negative. It’s good to protect your sobriety

    • Its normal to have a drinking dream from time to time. The relief upon waking and realizing it was a dream is a good thing.

    • Good on you for taking extra special care of yourself xxx

  • kjpeche changed their profile picture 1 month, 1 week ago

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Day 70 and $1,000 saved. I am very pleased with myself and am feeling stronger by the day. Yesterday was our first nice warm Summer day and I had a little pang for the “old days”. It was Friday night and a beautiful evening. The wonderful thing is that I know exactly what to do for myself to make that go away. I used my most successful sober and tools and moved on very quickly. I my sober journey by making small goals for myself and now I have been making them a little longer as I am feeling stronger. My next goal is 90 days. Then after that i will be nearing my 36th Birthday. A sober Birthday at that. =) Going now to spend a blessed day at the zoo with my kids and hubby. Much love to you all and thank you ALL for being an integral part of my sobriety.

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Day 65 today. Feelings of happiness and sadness in my world. My son’s graduation party went great! It couldn’t have went any better and I am relieved that it is done. =) The sadness I am feeling is for my teenage daughter. She struggles with mental health (major depressive disorder and anxiety disorders). She has a hard time keeping friends. So she really doesn’t have any. She had her first boyfriend for the last couple of months. I seen a lot of happiness in her but he broke up with her on Friday night and she is taking it so hard. I know this is normal for teenagers but with her I constantly worry that it will set her off. As she has had suicidal thoughts before and has struggled with cutting. I just want to make it all better for her but I can’t. Its hurts me so bad that she has to struggle with all of this. But I am so thankful that I am sober. I was able to be there for her this weekend and even stayed up late with her and slept in the living room with her on Friday night. I would have definitely been drunk at that time of the night.

    • Day 65 and some hardcore parenting right there in the trenches of young-adulthood with your girl. Way to go, you!!!
      And sorry to hear about her break-up. 🙁 I remember how hard that was when I was 15/16 and lost my first relationship.
      Does she work with a good therapist? Now might be a good time to double up on appointments.


    • Congrats on 65! Your story of mothering warmed my heart! It must have meant more than you know to stay up with her this weekend. Being a teen is so hard these days. Especially for her. Does the school have peer support? xo

    • great mothering xx

    • Awesome mum❤️

    • How great you can be there for her, hold her, give warmth 🙂

    • Great on 65 days! It’s wonderful you can really be there for her. We can’t take the pain away when our kids go through these things but you being there for her will really help her in not falling completely backwards into depression. I hope she gets through it quickly.

    • oh so hard @kjpeche – all you can do is be there, but it is the most important thing of all. Many hugs for you both xxx

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    60 Days today! Yay! Not much time to post today. Busy and stressful day at work and now onto household chores. The thought of wine never even crossed my mind. I am feeling blessed. On top of this my oldest graduates from HS tomorrow! Double blessings!

  • kjpeche posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Day 55 today. I have decided to celebrate my upcoming 60 days early. I have decided that with all of the money I wasted on alcohol in the past to start doing good in the world. Yesterday I started sponsoring a little boy in Ethiopia through Compassion International. I am so elated that instead of pouring poison down my throat I can start to make a difference, how ever small that may be. I have also started collecting non-perishable food, hygiene items, etc to donate to a local shelter for each day I am sober. Then to do the drop-off once a month.

  • kjpeche posted an update 2 months ago

    Day 51 and checking in because I certainly don’t want to become complaisant. I have been feeling amazing and rarely even think about drinking. Although I am prepared with my sober tools should I need them. I am creeping up on 3 years of being on this site and have had at least twenty day ones since. This time it truly is different and I know this may sound like a bold statement but I can 100% say that I am done with alcohol for good. My relationship with God and my faith has grown my leaps and bounds and is filing me up in the most beautiful way.

  • kjpeche posted an update 2 months ago

    Day 46 feeling really good. No cravings or thoughts in a couple of weeks. My life is already so much more calm, peaceful, and I feel so positive. I really feel like my life is starting over nice and fresh as I am seeing things with a whole new set of eyes. My oldest son will be graduating high school in 2 weeks (I was 17 when I had him, it literally feels like yesterday) which I am so excited about but we have been so busy planning the open house. Its a bit stressful. My first “big” party to host. Praying that it all goes off without a hitch!

  • kjpeche posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Been really sad since last night and I can’t seem to shake it today. I was telling my husband how excited I was yesterday to make to 40 days and he was just kinda jerky about it. So I asked him what his problem was, why he wasn’t happy for me. Then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t care about my sobriety and doesn’t even think about it. That really hurt me…..like bad. I just wanted him to be proud of me. Then i send him this long text about how bad it made me feel and he ignores it. I just feel so down. Like why am I even doing this. It has caused so much tension between my husband and I. I am not going to drink. I don’t even want to but I am just so hurt. Maybe I am being overly dramatic about this. He is the only person in my life that knows I am doing this and I just wanted someone to cheer me on i guess.

    • Oh I’m so sorry to hear this. You are not being dramatic, I would be incredibly hurt too.
      I wish I was at day 40 you have gone through the worst and you should be proud!!! I’m proud for you!! Go and treat yourself, and when hubby gets home tell him to go and cook is own dam dinner! Naughty man!! Xx

    • Yep I know how you feel my husband doesn’t really acknowledge my sobriety either, I don’t think your being overly dramatic at all it would be great to have some real support & encouragement from your husband and a shame your not getting it. At the end of the day we have to do this for ourselves and our kids and be our own cheerleaders I guess x

    • Hi @kjpeche! Getting to 40 days is a very big deal!! Maybe something else is going on with your husband. But what you are doing is amazing for you, your family and your relationship w your husband. At first, my husband would say you can have one or two. And I would tell him, no, I cannot. I could sometimes, but not others and it was wrecking my life. Now he is totally supportive and happy about the decision. With time, your husband will realize what you are doing is GREAT. xo

    • Hi @kjpeche Yes, it is very disappointing. We have to work so hard at staying sober in those first days and weeks that we really need a pat on the back every so often to keep us going. It hurts when we don’t get it from those closest to us, but unfortunately it is actually what we should expect. The main thing here is not that he doesn’t care, it is that he doesn’t understand. His mind doesn’t work the same way as yours when it comes to alcohol. He doesn’t wake thinking about where his next drink is coming from. He isn’t hanging on minute by minute until drinking times comes… and that same difference still applies when we stop. If he doesn’t have a drink for a few hours then it’s not a big deal. Stopping for a while isn’t a big deal either. If his doctor told him he couldn’t drink for a month then he wouldn’t be completely horror-struck.
      Drinking isn’t a big deal to him, and neither is not drinking. He has absolutely no idea whatsoever how hard it is for you, and he doesn’t know that you are struggling sometimes minute-by-minute. He has no comprehension whatsoever of your struggle, so he has no perception of your daily achievement. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he simply doesn’t know it’s a big thing to do.
      There’s no real way to force him to give you the encouragement you need, so the simplest thig really is to come here. People here have been there themselves and get it completely. You are not alone in your struggle while you stay connected here.
      You are doing great! Keep doing what’s working and the struggle lessens over time. Every craving you overcome reduces the intensity of the next one to come from that trigger. Every craving overcome is progress. Keep going.

      • Brilliant answer @DaveH. Iv’e also come to realize that those who do understand can be indifferent, especially if they’ve witnessed you relapse time and time again. I can’t let other peoples judgement or lack of influence me anymore. Learning how to love and respect myself is enough for now.

    • I know. I have no support either. It sucks, but what are you going to do? Pick up a drink and then start all over again once it gets so f ing out of control again. I would like to but at 55 I really just don’t feel like I have time for another hangover, ever again. I was just thinking today. … Last summer …. about this time, my brother had this great beer, I just had a sip, just a tiny maybe four ounce taste. I got home, the next day I bought a six pack of the same stuff, drank it, then another six pack and another, and another until, I finally got to July when I quit. I had been not drinking then for about 8 days. Anyway, high five on 41 days.

    • I agree with @DaveH, I don’t think your husband understands your struggle and how difficult these 40 days have been! Most normal drinkers could go 30 days and not realize that they have done it. We really know that your 40 days is a big deal! We are very proud of you and support your accomplishment! Keep doing what feels right, keep being your best self and eventually the world will notice!

  • kjpeche posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 40 today and I am feeling so proud of myself. I have felt my inner self change so much in this short amount of time. It’s amazing. I am finally learning my true self and true heart. I can hardly wait to see my growth within the next 40 days.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Just reread my post. Such a random post LOL Sorry =)

    • Nothing is Random here lol- you need to get what is in your head out so you can think straight. Happy 38 days!

    • A fabulous post my dear!!! So much good is happening in your life. Thanks for sharing all those ideas and your positivity. You never know how many you help. 💖❤️🌼🌺

  • Day 38 today. Two days away from my next goal. Setting small goals for myself is helping. Every time I hit one of these goals I get a nice sense of pride.

    I have struggled with depression my whole life. Something I have always tried to cover up with alcohol. I started juicing about 4 days ago and I am already feeling the benefits from it. Also been trying to eat a tad better but nothing too extreme right now. I ordered a light box yesterday which may sound weird since we are coming into Spring, but where I live it has been a horrible dark and dreary Spring. Maybe one sunny day per week for a couple months now. Another thing that has been helping is a nice vitamin regimen. Which include L Glutamine for the past 2 and a half weeks. It has been shown that it helps reduce alcohol cravings and it has been working well for me.
    I went to the doctor last week and had all of my blood workups down, thankfully everything came back perfect. My liver is working well which I was worried about.

    • Just reread my post. Such a random post LOL Sorry =)

      • Nothing is Random here lol- you need to get what is in your head out so you can think straight. Happy 38 days!

      • A fabulous post my dear!!! So much good is happening in your life. Thanks for sharing all those ideas and your positivity. You never know how many you help. 💖❤️🌼🌺

    • Congratulations on 38 days! I’m on day 13 of continuous sobriety and I also find setting small goals is helping. Way to go! Keep it up!

    • Awesome job on 38 days! That is huge. Woo hoo!!

    • All good news kjpeche 🙂

    • I totally get the light box thing! I can get depressed in a dreary summer! Some nice things you are doing for yourself there. One other thing that I find weirdly helpful in my fight against depression is thinking of the things that I am grateful for. Usually ends up being my children… Instant cheer up! Other things too- the cat on my knee, my cup of tea, my kind boss… It seems to put a rosy glow on things that I usually really struggle to see.

    • Don’t be sorry, it all sounds like great ideas and great self-care @kjpeche 🙂

    • @kjpeche – congrats on day 38 and thinking it all through. sounds reallllll good.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Beautiful picture

  • Day 34 today and I am feeling really good. For the first time in my adult life I feel pure joy and happiness. Life isn’t perfect of course but I can handle thing one hundred times better than when I was drinking or hungover. After my many falls I really feel like this is it for me! That I am truly going to do it this time.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks everyone!

  • 30 days today and feeling very good about myself. The first time I have been able to do this without relying on anything to “stop” me. I woke up in the middle of the night to see my husband off to work and I had to login just to see my sober calculator. Screenshot it and it is now my background for my phone. I have a long way to go but am as determined as ever. The last 3 months of my drinking is absolutely embarrassing and horrifying to me. I might very well be dead now if I did not stop. =( I was functional throughout the week. You know the drill…..morning up and at em, work, home, family, then wine. Every night. At least a bottle and a half. The weekend I graduated to all day drinking. Morning, noon, night. Around 3 bottles a day. Friday night I would drink so much that I couldn’t function on Saturday unless I had a “hair of the dog”. And it all started there. I had built up such a tolerance that I could talk normally and a lot of the time people couldn’t even tell. I stopped eating too. I would prepare meals for my family and we would eat together but I would just push my food around. Taking a bite here and there. I was too scared to eat because I would lose my buzz. I then began waking up in the middle of the night not only thirsty and guilty but I started to have uncontrollable twitching throughout my body. My hands and feet also started to become numb and tingly. I honestly think a couple of times I could have been near death due to alcohol poisoning, But I was too ashamed to tell anyone what was going on. My life now in just 30 days has taken such a drastic change. I am not even the same person. I detest and loathe alcohol. I know 30 days isn’t much but for me it is 30 days that I may not have had with my precious family if I hadn’t stopped.

  • What are your thoughts on the “pink cloud”? I have been feeling so good and confident about my sobriety but I am VERY cautious. I am worried that it is just my pink cloud. I don’t want it to be though. I feel like this time it’s authentic and real but I have failed so many times before that I can’t even enjoy how I feel because I am terrified to go back to my old ways.

    • Hi @kjpeche! That’s great, enjoy the pink cloud! Yes, it’s good to stay vigilant.. and it sounds like you are. Sometimes I am still so blissed out by being sober, and then life happens, and I get bummed out by something, but it’s a rollercoaster, it returns. You’re doing great. : )

    • I’m the same @kjpche. Happy but vigilant. I see so many posts on here from people who had real long term sobriety (years) and then lost it… I’m so desperate for that not to be me. I’m at about 214 days, and the what I’m noticing now is that I’m no so easily “unseated” when things go wrong. I still feel the shit, but I seem to be able to ride through it (using all sorts of stuff that I have learned in the last 6 months) and carry on.
      Please enjoy what you have now, it would be such a waste not to! But that doesn’t mean you also get complacent.
      We can do this.

      • @Agirl it doesnt have to be you, if YOU have the desire choice not to drink again. You have this, dont be on a continuous thought process of as silly A.A say white knuckling it. Just be you.xo
        I think as to the “pink cloud” why name it as that, as its almost setting the bar to high, e.g is it real, accept your mood for what it is…good..

        • Thanks for your kind words @janus2. Do you mean to direct them towards @kjpeche? I’m not white knuckling it- LOVE sobriety. Just not complacent either. Actually I feel like I have shed a skin- and I’m never going to put it on again. More “me” than I have been for decades. Thanks for your kind words sweet lady 😄

    • Mm, well it’s lovely but it comes and goes @kjpeche
      Perhaps the trick is to see it for what it is and not believe our own narratives about it too much.
      Maybe it’s a time to work out the difference between confident and over-confident.
      I think I was wary of it too. I felt pretty flat for a lot of the first while, for a combination of reasons. I didn’t want to sabotage myself.

    • My advice is not to analyze the pink cloud. Enjoy it when it comes and don’t worry about how long it will last because it doesn’t usually last but it comes back here and there. When I future trip on anything (even the pink cloud) I’m inviting anxiety into my life. Living in the moment is key. 🙂

    • Stay calm, enjoy every sober day and trust in yourself 🙂

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    That most certainly IS something! Good job for slaying the wine witch yesterday. Enjoy your Sunday!

  • 28 days today. My 30 days will be on Monday so I am silently celebrating it this weekend. =) I bought myself a new bible that will be coming today and already writing in my journal all that I have learned and all that has changed in just 30 days AF. Using this weekend as reflection and to start decluttering my bedroom closet. A nice quiet weekend for me. The only thing giving me anxiety is wondering what I am going to get from my husband this weekend. I never know if I am going to get a normal version of him or an overly drunk version. Something I am still struggling with.

    • Celebrate away, @kjpeche. You deserve every second of this joyful weekend! What an achievement. My heart goes out to you, as far as facing your husband’s unpredictable behavior. Is there any way of asking for some reassurance for a peaceful house before he starts in on drinking?

    • Congrats lovely! Hope your husband is in better form for you❤️❤️

    • So great, 4 weeks, brilliant @kjpeche. Decluttering the closet in more ways than one 🙂
      Understandable this is a struggle. Difficult to live with unpredictability. Keep doing you. How can you look after yourself this weekend if things go a bit pear-shaped?

    • You are such a positive person, @kjpeche, that’s inspiring! What a pitty that you have to struggle with your husbands problems. Have a nice weekend anyhow! 🙂

    • congrats on 28 days. This is great news.

  • Day 26 and chugging right along. I struggle with such increased anxiety and sadness around my time of the month. I can feel the shift so I want to be extra cautious as I want nothing to jeopardize my sobriety. I think I just have to get used to sitting with these uncomfortable emotions and just ride then out.

    • Sounds like a plan @kjpeche. Yesterday I asked for advice on dealing with stress/anxiety and very good advice was given. Maybe you can take a peek back and some of their advice will resonate with you. Hope you have a beautiful sober day.

    • I always drank around my period as a younger woman, I relate. Is there a way to give yourself a treat, an extra something something and name it as such for those days? I wish I had had the awareness then. Be well, you are doing great xx

    • Good plan❤️

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks everyone! I am not going to worry about it right now.I just want to stay sober. Was just worrying a bit too much I guess.

  • Today is day 24 for me and I had a lovely Easter with my kids. It played out just as I wanted it to (despite my husbands drinking). Today I am feeling a bit lonely and feeling guilty for all of the carbs I have been eating. This past week I have been over indulging in them. I hate to say this, but they are helping keep me sober for the time being…..they are my “treats” right now. So I will address this at a later time. I have been struggling with my drinking since age 19……I am now 35. It has been a long road……so I guess I shouldn’t be so concerned about my diet right now and focus on beating this devil once and for all.

    • Do NOT be concerned with your diet right now!!!! Eat whatever the heck you want and do not feel guilty. For the 1st year all I did was focus on sobriety and did whatever it took to make it through each day, holiday, vacation anniversary, etc.. af. I’m now a year and a half sober and am finally dealing with the weight. Just focus on yourself and work through all the “why’s” of your drinking and get to the root of each one of them and deal with them head on. This is your new life. Your new lifestyle. You’ve got the rest of your life to focus on diet/nutrition. For now, for today focus on getting through 24 hours af. You’re doing awesome. Keep up the great work. (And I get the husband drinking thing. I have to run out but want to post about mine later – I’m feeling really frustrated by it!!) Glad you had a wonderful Easter!

    • I 100% agree with @R51!! You are doing fantastic and diet will come along in year 2. For year 1 just focus on the day at hand. Your first sober holiday under your belt, that is a great accomplishment! xo

    • I second (or third) all that @newstart100 and @R51 say!! WHATEVER IT TAKES to stay sober, do it!! You are worthy of sobriety, and you deserve your own forgiveness. Keep going!! We are so glad you are here. xo

    • When I first started out on my recovery journey, I read a blogger who said “I’m dealing with my addictions in the order they may kill me.” Get some solid sober miles and then worry about the carbs. You’re doing great! 😊

    • I agree with all,of the above posts @kjpeche. You are recovering from 16 years of abusing a poisonous substance. Plenty of time to deal with carbs later. Keep on doing what you’re doing. 24 days is a huge accomplishment!

    • Yes please don’t sabotage yourself now by worrying about carbs. I ate a lot of sugary stuff at first; turns out the withdrawal from sugar was not as easy as it was from booze. That’s ok, one thing at a time. I can tackle that now. So you’re going great. 🙂

    • So proud of you kjpeche!

    • You are right- whatever it takes. Bring on the Easter eggs! There will be time enough later for sorting out your diet. Do you enjoy exercise? If you can get that balance right you may not feel the need for so many carbs. So proud of you on day 24!!!

    • Anything that works!!!!! bring it on!

    • I used some carbs to get me through the harder patches too, @kjpeche. It was a help.

      • Thanks everyone! I am not going to worry about it right now.I just want to stay sober. Was just worrying a bit too much I guess.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Happy Birthday @timidwarrior

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    One year tomorrow!! That is so amazing! Congrats!! I really would love a smoker. Would have to put that on my list =)

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Yay!! Congratulations! =)

  • kjpeche posted an update 3 months ago

    Day 21 and tomorrow is Easter! I am so excited to be sober. Especially since my drinking really messed up Christmas. Today my kids and I are going to make Easter sugar cookies, egg nest cookies, and dye Easter eggs. Then tomorrow I am hosting Easter dinner for my parents. Going to be a busy couple of days but i am feeling so blessed to be sober and have a clear mind. Happy Easter!!!!

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @robynb Thank you! I will be looking into alanon for sure. I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful Easter as well!

    • Yes the dynamics really change when in a relationship one stops drinking and makes big changes in their life. Also increase your choices. Alanon is good. Enjoy your sober Easter. Sobriety gives you back your power.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @truthangel thank you! I am finally putting myself and my sobriety first and have no plans on slowing down. He is for sure insecure because he is seeing a huge spike in my self confidence and that makes him feel threatened. He has always been the more “dominate” person in the relationship.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @Liberty I went a bought myself some nice eye cream to celebrate my 20-21 days. =) I am 100% choosing sobriety and I most definitely plan on protecting it. I am hoping that someday he will chose the same. Thank you for your response =)

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @winner yes he definitely needs help. I have mentioned it to him before but he just isn’t ready yet. I am hoping that if he sees my positive changes it will prompt him to want to have some of that too.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @mari135 Thank you so much. Sometimes he makes me feel like I am just being dramatic. It is nice that people understand how I am feelings. I never feel “heard” by him. It has been a problem for 15 years. Something to work on for sure. But I made it to 21 days today =) and I am very happy about that.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    I talked to him yesterday after his hangover subsiding and he was more understanding. But regardless my sobriety and kids are my number one priority at this time. He did much better last night, but of course that was only one night.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @pattyw Yes I am sure that is what his problem is. We have been “drinking buddies” for 15 years and now I am committed to sobriety and really finding myself again.

  • kjpeche posted an update 3 months ago

    Day 20 today and feeling good about my sobriety. That’s about all I am feeling good about today. My husband’s drinking has gotten really bad and its very hard to deal with. Did he always drink this much and I was just too into my wine to notice? It just feels like it is getting worse. He works during the week of course but on the weekends he is either drunk or hungover. When he is hungover he is really mean to me. Whenever I try to talk to him about he blows it off and tried to blame it on me. Last night he drank a whole fifth of whiskey after I went to bed at 9pm. He woke me up drunk at 2am to help him look for something. Then he proceeded to pass out right in front of our hot burning wood stove. (We are still heating in Michigan as the lows have still been in the 30s). This morning I was excited about my 20 days so I told him. He sarcastically says “wow good job” and then claps loud and slow. I had to hold my tears back. I have been so excited to have a sober Easter but I fear it will be ruined by his drinking.

    • Hi kjpeche….congrats to you on 20 days!!! That’s truly awesome. I’m truly sorry about your husband….and I only have 17 days so I’m hardly one to give an opinion on these things but…..I know that in my last many months of drinking, my husband suddenly became a teetotaler. Where we were once drinking buddies, now I was drinking alone. And I resented the hell out of it. Your husband’s comments good for you and his slow clapping seem like he might be feeling insecure about his choices…and he might be resenting the hell out of you for ending all this “fun” you guys used to have. I know I desperately wanted the strength and courage my husband posessed but I just didn’t know how to get there…and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to get there. Just keep being you. Keep sobriety as your main priority. And be as kind and patient with your husband as you can. Much love to you..:)

      • @pattyw Yes I am sure that is what his problem is. We have been “drinking buddies” for 15 years and now I am committed to sobriety and really finding myself again.

    • I’m sorry @kjpeche! I really hope your Easter isn’t ruined by his drinking or hangover. A fifth of whiskey in one night is problem drinking. Regardless, this is your sober journey not his. Congrats on day 20 by the way, that’s awesome! You have two coinciding jobs right now. Focusing on your sobriety regardless of him. And evaluating with a clear head how he is influencing you and the family. You can suggest to him to drink less, and set boundaries around how he will drink around you. “It really bothers me when you drink around me because it makes me want to drink and I’m trying not to right now.” He might take it to the garage, or resent you because he thinks you’re calling him out, but some space might be needed in order for you to maintain a clear head. It’s not wise to do something drastic right now. The focus should be on you, your family, and your safety. Hugs!

      • I talked to him yesterday after his hangover subsiding and he was more understanding. But regardless my sobriety and kids are my number one priority at this time. He did much better last night, but of course that was only one night.

    • Day 20, you legend you!!! oxoxo High five, girl!
      YOU did this. And you continue to do it. 21 days is a special milestone in AA….that will come up tomorrow.

      And you know what?
      It’s actually really common for the non-sober spouse/partner to escalate once one person stops. It happens with diet/losing weight etc. and other changes as well. It’s a thing, I think. That does NOT excuse his behavior, but please know it has NOTHING to do with you or your sobriety.

      You do not feel seen and heard by him, and no wonder. How could you?
      If this is how he chooses to behave right now. I hope he finds his way out of his own drinking, and realizes what an amazing wife he has, and how strong she is for becoming sober….and how she wants a better life for their marriage and family.

      You are a legend, and you deserve to feel accepted, welcomed, supported, and validated.


      • Beautiful response @mari135

      • @mari135 Thank you so much. Sometimes he makes me feel like I am just being dramatic. It is nice that people understand how I am feelings. I never feel “heard” by him. It has been a problem for 15 years. Something to work on for sure. But I made it to 21 days today =) and I am very happy about that.

    • Ooh he needs help lovely. Don’t let his behaviour undo your hard work! ❤️

      • @winner yes he definitely needs help. I have mentioned it to him before but he just isn’t ready yet. I am hoping that if he sees my positive changes it will prompt him to want to have some of that too.

    • 20 days is a lot to feel excited about @kjpeche. We know how hard won this has been for you; we know how hard you have kept working to get here. I think it’s just fantastic and I hope you treat yourself in some way that feels meaningful for you.
      I’m sorry your husband is being a dick. He really is. Maybe this is a complicated way to punish you for ‘leaving’ him, idk, but you know what – either you choose that life, or you choose to get well. That’s not the same as rejecting him.
      It’s about what you want and need for you and your family. This is about the quality of your life. xx
      In this living situation it’s even more important to prop yourself up every which way you can, and to get as much personal support as you can in your life, while your sobriety gets strong. Protect it! Fiercely.
      It sounds like he won’t and can’t help you in that. Understandably that’s very hurtful and it’s also really, really not about you. xxx

      • Its your sobriey. Treasure it. I’m sorry to read of you Husband’s lack of support. I think others here are right. He’s feeling insecure because he has lost his drinking buddy. You’ll need to let him find his own way. It must feel hurtful but it says volumes about where he’s at and not a word about you. Concentrate on you and your family and get the support from others for now. You are doing so well.

        • @truthangel thank you! I am finally putting myself and my sobriety first and have no plans on slowing down. He is for sure insecure because he is seeing a huge spike in my self confidence and that makes him feel threatened. He has always been the more “dominate” person in the relationship.

      • Well said @Liberty

      • @Liberty I went a bought myself some nice eye cream to celebrate my 20-21 days. =) I am 100% choosing sobriety and I most definitely plan on protecting it. I am hoping that someday he will chose the same. Thank you for your response =)

    • Oh, gosh dear girl. You are doing fabulous. Heavenly thought of getting involved with alanon? I went years ago and it really helped. I am hoping you have a peaceful Easter.💚

      • @robynb Thank you! I will be looking into alanon for sure. I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful Easter as well!

        • Yes the dynamics really change when in a relationship one stops drinking and makes big changes in their life. Also increase your choices. Alanon is good. Enjoy your sober Easter. Sobriety gives you back your power.

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Congratulations on 900 days!!

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    I have the same issue with my 13 year old daughter. She has been my biggest trigger for about a year now. Besides just being a challenging teen she is also bipolar. Spent the week after Thanksgiving in a mental facility which all of that stress and feelings of failure led me to my last long-lasting wine binge. By binge I mean I was back to drinking wine every night until after Christmas. Ended up ruining Christmas but that is another story

    • I can so relate to the stress and feelings of failure…you sound like such a wonderful caring Mom, way to go for getting back to sobriety!! We can do this AF!

  • kjpeche posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @KikiD I have been there more times than I can count. Keep moving along! You can do it. As for my slips I have learned not to beat myself up too much but also not to forget the awful guilty feelings. Reminding myself that I never want to feel that way again has helped.

  • kjpeche posted an update 3 months ago

    Day 19 and one more day to my next goal. I was watching old episodes of “Friends” last night and there was drinking in quite a few episodes. Oddly enough that triggered me and I had to fight off yet another urge. I feel so silly that a tv show would get me thinking about drinking. It just made me think how nice it was to be young and enjoying drinks while hanging out with friends. But i am no longer in my 20s or a drinker. And of course this is real life and not a television show. Yet another way this world glamorizes alcohol.

    • It’s not silly, it’s just a trigger. So now you know that illusion is one that has pull for you and that you have to look out for.
      That whole youthful thing around there being no consequences we have to worry about… it’s powerful for most of us I’d guess. But it’s a false sense of freedom. There are consequences with this, we’ve researched that many times! We’ve found out for ourselves they’re not worth it, it’s not freedom. 🙂
      You’re going so great @kjpeche, almost 20 days!

    • I find that I romanticize the idea of hanging out with friends with a glass of wine. It’s a trigger for me too. Truth is there is no such thing for me as “a” glass of wine. 8 glasses of wine maybe. But never “a” glass (as in 1). And it never ends well either.

      • Yes all looks very glamorous & relaxing in theory. It triggers me too thinking I could drink like that., just one or two haha. Unfortunately it doesn’t show the slurring, stumbling mess alcohol can make us. Congrats in day 19, day 17 for me 🙂

    • Love that programme ! Nothing glamorous about alcohol! ❤️

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