Father of 3looking to become a better person and feel leaving alcohol behind is a great start. Seen a lot of people “functioning” through life on alcohol. Never seen any examples of “getting” support. So here i am.
Question, does anyone have advice on dealing with questions n reactions from friends n family? The most common response has been. Why? Your not an alcoholic are you? You can handle more than most, that not a problem? I beginning to feel like broken record justifying my decision.
how about “I just feel 100% better when I don’t drink” or “I can’t handle the hangovers like I used to”. I hate when ppl say you’re not an alcoholic are you? I also find that most people that aren’t supportive about your decision to not drink usually need to take a look at their own drinking habit. you’re doing the right thing! stay strong and sober on!!
I told my mother that it was my five month sober day yesterday and she said oh. i said it really is an accomplishment. well, i don’t see why you can’t have just one. my mother does not drink at all, not in recovery, just never chose to drink. she tells people in the family that i don’t have a problem. Anyway, the regularity of the nausea, tiredness, wasting of time to recover from YET another hangover. For me about five times per week. I too am tired of explaining. no one listens. I never say I am an alcoholic, i just say i hate hangovers and like sobermommy1013, i cannot hand my drink anymore. Usually now I just say, I don’t drink. Period. Congrats to you.
So annoying for sure and this time of year get it too much, I’m just saying it makes me feel like garbage @kiwidaddy39, but I find it incredibly frustrating and get it even from people very close to me. Have a great day you’ve got this!
For now, just call it a lifestyle choice. Some things to know about this are, most don’t really care all that much, people get curious, they might be curious because they considered stopping, it’s private and may I say in a nice way that its none of their business, they won’t fully understand, and most people don’t know the different levels of alcoholism. I too was the functional alcoholic type, and I remember being at the club one afternoon and an acquaintance told me that I couldn’t be an alcoholic…..now, who wants a discussion where you’re trying to convince people that you’re an alcoholic? If you really get trapped, remind them that nobody stops drinking just for fun. People seem to understand that. I also used to say that there are two reasons why people stop, and I wasn’t sick. Most connect those dots. I remember one other old acquaintance, and this guy knocks of a remarkable amount of Jim Beam every night, and I told him “because I was getting hammered every night”, and he actually winced! I stopped using that line. Time will pass, and it will just be known that you don’t drink. Many don’t. If they ask if you were/are an alcoholic, you could say “I don’t know, maybe, I decided to stop / make a lifestyle choice. That way, you don’t really take a position that they can argue against….it’s more of a moving target. But make no mistake….you know, and you must stay honest with yourself, that your relationship with alcohol is not a healthy one. Stay strong. You’ll be okay.
I never say I had any problem. So I differ from @Tom4500 but it’s all a personal choice. Most close to me know why, although they never said anything. But others I say I feel great without it, I can’t believe how good I feel. I also use driving, the fact I can drive anywhere, I say Oh I’m driving, Id on’t drink and drive. But mostly NO ONE ASKS!! seriously. My close gang asked and they all said they wanted to cut down themselves. I don’t make any announcements just walk around with a nice glass and my Perrier and lime. No one cares and are shocked when they find out I wasn’t drinking.
Only you can come up with the best response for you @kiwidaddy39
But here are some examples from others (each one totally depending on the situ):
I’m on antibiotics I’m training for I’m driving I’m don’t feel like it tonight I’ve stopped drinking, no thanks No thanks, I don’t drink It makes me sick so no thanks No thanks, I’m alcohol free!
But I get that you’re probably talking more about people quite close to you … maybe sitting down with them, when you feel comfortable, and telling them straight. I’ve got a problem with alcohol, and to me it feels like the only way to really sort it out is to stop using alcohol
Christmas day has always been alcohol free day in my house. All about the kids n being together with food. We go camping in Jan with friends and although socially i feel all ok with no drinking I sometimes wonder, am I going to be the same good time without alcohol?
What a great idea! Love it. I work with troubled families and youth, and sadly may be called in to help on the holiday season – mainly wreckage from drugs, including alcohol in that label. Hate what it does
Hang in there!!! The silly season will be over in literally a handful of days and back to normal it goes. It’s just not worth drinking over. Mrs. D posted a really helpful update on her Facebook page I highly recommend….and she also posted a silly season survival guide here on the site. oxoxox Just know you’re not alone. And this will pass.