• Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hey @noodle71 AA isn’t for everyone, I didn’t use it as a tool and I won’t drink again . It sounds like this is something that makes you anxious, so don’t put yourself under any additional stress right now. At the moment it is all about you and your self care, and it sounds like you are in a good place right now. Your friend has been in your shoes so I expect they will understand if you gently and lovingly tell them this is your journey and you have to do it your way. Let them know you appreciate the support and it may be something that you might revisit in the future but it’s not for you right now. Big hugs xx.

    • @Kirst thanks for that, I loved your story and wondered if you had used AA, it’s so encouraging to know you didn’t. I’m not bashing the AA they do an amazing job, but I really just don’t feel it is for me. I’ve never ever done group situations and sharing, especially something so personal, I’ll happily talk to my friends and family or online like this, but yes a group makes me anxious. Thanks again x

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Congrats on Day 1200! Bloody rock star!! Xx

  • Kirst posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    Great to see so many new faces. A friend just sent me this link and it really resonated with me, so thought I would share xxx
    https://greatist.com/live/social-life-after-you-quit-drinking#1

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Hey @enzedgirl I would love to catch up sometime! I will keep you in mind next time I am up your way or if you are ever in the deep south, just give me a holler πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    I’m still here too @Mari135. Still pop on here every few days. Good to see you πŸ™‚

    • Kirst, and I am so grateful people like you keep stopping by. It would feel weird to someday not recognize anyone here. I guess at that point I’d be ok without the forum (I probably am ok without it now anyways) but it still feels like a home online once the old faces pop back up.
      oxoxox

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Hag, not sure why that last paragraph dropped down… Editing on my phone I guess lol!

  • Kirst posted an update 2 months ago

    Thanks for the shout out @morgan. Life is amazingly good, still sober, still congratulating myself on that choice lol. 1230 days today! Hmmm a detailed update…. Here goes…

    Coming up a year with the man, think I may have found a keeper there. Never had someone get me like he does. Mutual respect, caring and understanding, big tick!! A normie but doesn’t really drink, happy to have a coke when we go out. His idea of a big night these days is four or five single rums… Like what is that about… Wouldn’t even have been a warm up for me in the old days lol! ( but not rum ever tho’) lol.

    We just had 10 days tiki-touring round the North Island over Easter and Anzac and are off to Thailand and Vietnam for most of August. Very lucky to find someone who wants to travel and has the means and flexibility with work to do it!! He also recognises that life is short (and mine maybe more so) so is all about taking every opportunity that comes our way.

    My wee business is going from strength to strength and the man has his own company too which is going very well! Still splitting my time between Alex and Dunedin but we are talking about building in central… Early days but good to know its on the table.

    Health has been pretty good. I’ve not been in hospital since November and that was only precautionary. Lost 10kg weight last year and then put it all back on… Bloody Happy eating lol!

    Kids are good, my daughter is now married and bridezilla is gone thank goodness! My son and his GF are moving home in June to save some money… Should be OK given that I’m hardly here lol.

    My dad just had a hip replacement (had the nerve to say ( tongue in cheek) it must be genetic and he caught it off me as I have a new knee and hip because of the lupus… Told him it didn’t work that way but he didn’t believe me lol). He’s thinking about retiring but he tells me he’s only 68 & 1/2 lol!

    Mum is good, saw her in the Hawkes Bay on our tiki- tour. Still running her wee…[Read more]

    • Hag, not sure why that last paragraph dropped down… Editing on my phone I guess lol!

    • That is a wonderful and inspiring lot of detail. Wow, beautiful things happening, and having your health improve must be such a relief when so much is happening to enjoy.
      I wish I had time to find you as I am near, but working, and it is rather full on, all hours.
      One day…
      Lots of love. Don’t forget us entirely xxx

    • thanks for the uplifting post, @krist, such a great number 1230.

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks for all your kind messages. @Tim4500 asked what I am doing to celebrate, well tomorrow I go on holiday for two weeks, taking the man up to see my mum and whanau. So excited!!

  • Kirst posted an update 3 months ago

    Hey sober tribe, so my counter tells me that tomorrow is Day 1200! Far Out, Brussel Sprout!!!!
    When I first started this journey, I looked enviously at those who had 30 days, and then 90 days, then 6 months… I couldn’t even imagine what a year sober would feel like, but its true, a journey of 1200 days starts with Day 1.
    I drank a lot and often… A proudly high functioning alcoholic… Although, we all know that is a myth, we just hold on for grim life between drinks. I drank until I blacked out, did stupid, dangerous and terrible things, woke up guilty and sick, trying to put my nights back together. My world was getting smaller by the day.
    I could wax lyrical about how fantastic and expansive my life is now but I would just sound like I was skiteing and no one likes a show off, but I truly believe I am living my best life now.
    My actions are deliberate, and if I fuck up, then I own it because I am stone cold sober when I commit the actions that fucked up (and to be honest, I fucked up so many times drunk, sober fuck-ups are much more rare and easily managed lol).
    My key words are content, calm, kindness, laughter, love and care. And these words are directed at me as much as anyone else around me.
    So, if you are on Day 1 or 30 or 100, congratulations, look after yourselves and keep on counting x
    Love Kirst
    D1200 and loving it x

    • Woah! Congrats πŸ™‚ That’s brilliant. D. 442 here and likewise, was a highly functioning alcoholic until it stopped and I was a non-functioning one – it’s amazing have the calm back. Even though things are still tricky and life isn’t perfect, it is better. There is not one decision I’ve made that was a better one for being drunk and plenty that were very dangerous. I always feel like the lights have come back on, the world is brighter, more colourful, more vibrant! xxx

    • Inspirational ….a massive well done 👍

    • Wow! That’s really wonderful! Your post is a special gift and inspiration. Will keep your thoughts and guidance close.

    • 1200 days Kirst, I didn’t know you were that far up the ladder, how cool is that! A dozen hundreds! Agreed that life is so much better now. And I think we knew life would be better when we were starting out, if we could only get there. Get to long term sobriety. Congrats, hope you have a little something special planned to celebrate.

    • Kirst…oh my goodness how I loved reading that post of yours this morning! Congratulations on 1200!!!! Massive legend high five. oxoxoxo And people like you reporting back from “ahead on the path” make me wanna keep going…and posts like yours make me look forward to “more” of sobriety.

      Thanks for sharing this!

      oxoxox

    • That is a wonderful post. like the way you say you truly believe you are living your best life. congrats on day 1200 AF.

    • Love this! Huge congrats πŸ™‚

    • Fabulous, just great. πŸ™‚

    • Ro replied 3 months ago

      Congrats @kirst 1200 is MASSIVE love your work

    • Thanks for stopping in! Congrats on 1200 days.

    • Thanks for all your kind messages. @Tim4500 asked what I am doing to celebrate, well tomorrow I go on holiday for two weeks, taking the man up to see my mum and whanau. So excited!!

  • Kirst posted an update 4 months ago

    Hey Tribe, it’s been a while since I posted. I still drop by often to see how you are all doing. Lots of new faces on here and that is fantastic.
    I am still trucking on. My business is going from strength to strength, I am busy but still managing to keep that work life balance.
    I’m still splitting my time between Dunedin and Alexandra as relationship with new(ish) man is fantastic. Eight months in and I think he might actually be the one lol! Worth all the years of failed Tinder dates lol.
    We are heading to Thailand and Vietnam in August so looking forward to that.

    Health has been a bit up and down (lupus) but managing it much better now I am not masking my symptoms with copious amounts of Chardonnay and the medication balance is about right.
    Just started planning a girls trip away too. There is seven of us so hilarity all round, half drink, half don’t, I won’t.

    For those of you beginning this journey, hang in there, it is so worth it. My life is one million times better than when I was chopping 10 bottles of wine a week. You have got this xxx Day 1168!!!!

  • Kirst posted an update 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Happy New Year sober tribe!
    Three years ago today, I knocked the booze on the head. I didnt have a big night on my last night of drinking, rather I was playing the tiresome moderation game (one bottle of wine and one cocktail if you could call that moderation lol!). Its the only new years resolution I have ever stuck too (wish the ‘lose weight, get fit’ ones would stick!).
    My life is unrecognisable since I stopped. I completed my Masters, became an accreditated RMA Comissioner, travelled the world, quit my job, started my own sucessful business, formed a relationship with a wonderful man, witnessed my daughter get married, watched my son become a qualified tradie, and found a great group of hilarious friends. I also got seven tattoos during this time, four of which mark sober milestones.
    It has been tough at times and I have had moments of white knuckling it but the benefits of a sober life far outweigh the momentary thrill of a drink. I couldn’t have done this without the support of this site and all you awesome, incredible people on here. I dont post much these days but am on here often reading about all of your trials, tribulations and successes. 2019 is going to be a great year and I wish you all every success and joy that being sober brings. Love Kirst!

  • Kirst posted an update 7 months ago

    Hi team, its been a while since I posted… life has a habit of getting away on me, I guess.
    Things have been crazy busy… I thought things might have settled down after my daughters wedding but it doesn’t seem to be the case. The business continues to provide me with constant work, and the relationship with the man is now 5-months old and still going strong, I’m grateful that we continue to be on the same wavelength. We are already making plans which take us well into next year including a trip to the Hawkes Bay in April and to Vietnam and Thailand in August.

    I am splitting my week between Dunedin and Alexandra which can be a bit tiring so have taken a few days in Dunedin on my own this week to catch my breath. Had a stint in hospital a couple of weeks ago and have been fighting a severe eye disease all bought on by my Lupus. It makes life a bit stressful as I don’t have any employees (by choice) so when I’m not on top form, the deadlines don’t get met and the earnings decrease. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle as stress triggers the lupus and lupus adds to the stress. So come December 19, I am going to close off my billing for the month, turn off my email notifications and try not to think about the business until 7 January. I will have to work hard for that first week back but I hope that I will have a restored energy, so will be able to take it all in my stride. We are going to head up the coast for a few days after Christmas and have a look at the Kaikora Coast road rebuild and put some money in the pockets of the locals before going to Nelson and then perhaps back through Arthurs Pass. A bit of a fluid trip, with no itinerary and no time frame…. the best kind!!

    But all of this doesn’t have anything to do with drinking because I don’t drink. There have been a couple of times of over the past month where I thought a wine would be nice, especially as one of the man’s friends is a Chardonnay drinker (my drink of choice when I drank) and…[Read more]

    • @kirst – sounds absolutely fabulous. congrats on day 1080, that is a heavy string of pearls. best to you and thanks for sharing.

    • kia ora @kirst , congrats on 1080 … i just hit 1001 πŸ˜€

      your plan to have a solid break sounds very sensible indeed, i completely support you to do this essential downtime, especially when you’ve been unwell.

      and yay for the ongoing relationship! how exciting and wonderful πŸ™‚

    • Hello @Kirst, thanks for the update. Have an excellent break with your man and enjoy your road trip xo

    • Hi @first! Lovely post and here’s hoping your stress is reduced..8 hate how it effectively health. You are a strong lady!
      And yes…what IS it with the chardy?!?(lol) ..on Christmas..Grrrrr

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 8 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hey @Ladyhawke, just make sure you have some nice non-alcs behind the bar. Get one as soon as you arrive and drink them out of a wineglass… you won’t miss the wine at all… and, speaking from my experience only, you also won’t miss getting loud and obnoxious, seeing the cringe look on your daughters face, embarrassing yourself in front of her new in laws, being able to quickly and clearheadedly resolve any issues that arise during the night, no hangover the next day and not being awash with shame and guilt the next morning. This is her day and you being the very best version of you will be the best wedding present you can give her xx

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 8 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thanks @ro πŸ™‚

  • Kirst changed their profile picture 8 months, 4 weeks ago

  • Kirst posted an update 8 months, 4 weeks ago

    Well an epic weekend for me…my daughter got married on Saturday! All our planning and her stressing paid off and the day went so smoothly! And my dress was amazing (hers was pretty good too lol). The weather could not have been better too, sunny and warm …. that’s a big deal in the South this time of year…we had a late spring snow last weekend lol.

    There were a few tears but lots of laughter. Three very different families are joined by this union; mine, her Dads and her husbands. The differences were celebrated and yesterday we all came together at mine for a bbq.

    I showed off the new man too and he totally did me proud… a big ask to be thrown in the deep end with all my extended family and one of my exes. He fitted in with every one ( even had good chats with my ex-husband ) and yesterday he cooked the bbq for 40 people. He is pretty special.

    If you had asked me a couple of years ago to imagine what my daughters wedding would have looked like without wine for me, I wouldn’t have been able tell you… couldn’t even comprehend how I would be able to do that and still have a good time… well I can honestly say that there is nothing that wine would have made better for me this weekend. I was so pleased to be sober and classy…not drunk and sloppy. I am one proud, happy and satisfied momma bear. D1026 X

    • So so cool @kirst what a wonderful day it sounds – your kids are so lucky to have such a cool mum and your guy sounds like a keeper πŸ™‚

    • Thank you @Kirst for your lovely post and I’m so glad your daughter’s wedding went well. I really needed to how well you coped without alcohol. My daughter is getting married in 3 weeks time and i’m freaking out just a tad with how i’m going to get through without that glass of wine.

      • Hey @Ladyhawke, just make sure you have some nice non-alcs behind the bar. Get one as soon as you arrive and drink them out of a wineglass… you won’t miss the wine at all… and, speaking from my experience only, you also won’t miss getting loud and obnoxious, seeing the cringe look on your daughters face, embarrassing yourself in front of her new in laws, being able to quickly and clearheadedly resolve any issues that arise during the night, no hangover the next day and not being awash with shame and guilt the next morning. This is her day and you being the very best version of you will be the best wedding present you can give her xx

    • This is my goal also as I am sure if I was drinking I would really screw up and alienate even more people. I have time before my kids tie the knot so have time to build those relationships and show I can be the real me. I had been told I wouldn’t be part of their kids lives(no kids yet) if I kept drinking as they couldn’t trust me. Very sobering.
      I never drank during pregnancies and when I was responsible for my kids (when their father left I had the odd weekend to have fun). It came later on in my life. But their father liked to put stuff into their heads so for years I fought a battle. He even used my drinking as an excuse not to pay child support as I would be buying booze with it. Grrr never minding feeding, clothing and putting a roof over his kids. Sorry didn’t mean to rant haha

    • What an epic update, you should be so very proud of yourself xx

    • sounds a beautiful day. Thank you for sharing x

    • Fabulous!!!! Wondering how it was all going – and it has happened! Sounds memorable. Wonderful xxxxx

    • Oh I love this @kirst. Such a happy post and a true testament to how getting off the booze changes everything. Well done!!

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 9 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @Ro. Couldn’t have done it without this site and all you lovelies!

  • Kirst posted an update 9 months, 3 weeks ago

    1000 days. BOOM!

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    Yip, a good Invers bloke, who lived in Dunners for a long time but now based in Alex. Owns his own company and has set me up some office space in his office so I can work from there.
    It’s pretty cute lol!
    Blossy seemed more toned down this year but maybe it was just the circles I mix in now lol!
    Jo Mitchell is my rheumatologists name. She’s great.
    In Invers next weekend but fleeting visit for a family thing but definitely next time. πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hey @Ro, I’m great! Madly in love actually… I’d forgotten how time consuming that can be lol. I am splitting my time between Dunners and Alex, so on the road a lot. Still checking here often though! Sorry to read that your girl might have lupus on top of everything else. I would recommend my rheumatologist at Dunedin, she has got my symptoms well under control. And Yay for the whitebait… Had my first feed last week, yummo! Will give you a shout next time I am down your way and see if we can catch up for another coffee πŸ™‚

    • Yay for love!! @kirst SO happy to hear that. Being on the road for love is exciting- were you in town for the Blossom Fest? Is it still a piss fest? The Dr here sent the stuff through to Dunnos and we got a letter here from the Rheumatology dept saying it was classed as semi urgent and would be seen in under 4 months lol. Coffee shout out sounds fab πŸ™‚

      • Yip, a good Invers bloke, who lived in Dunners for a long time but now based in Alex. Owns his own company and has set me up some office space in his office so I can work from there.
        It’s pretty cute lol!
        Blossy seemed more toned down this year but maybe it was just the circles I mix in now lol!
        Jo Mitchell is my rheumatologists name. She’s great.
        In Invers next weekend but fleeting visit for a family thing but definitely next time. πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    I tried the 0.0% Heineken last week, first time I’d had a beer in two and a half years. I enjoyed sitting in sun having a beer with everyone… But one was enough lol!

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    It was so lovely to meet you on Saturday xx

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    So looking forward to meeting you tomorrow. πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow so proud of you @iowadawn! You really have been through the mill is the past year but you didn’t pick up and that is a true testament to your character! Congrats xx

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Boom! Bloody Rockstar xxx

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Absolutely keen. I am having an early dinner with my girls before hand but keen for early afternoon. I am keen to swap emails @mrs-d πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted an update 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey team, a wee while since I posted… Mainly because I am a bit smitten with the new man, I am definitely feeling the feels… Although I am beginning to remember how much time they take up lol.
    Work is still busy and now am working in Central Otago two days per week (which works well as the man lives in Central to so I stay with him but still get my space when I head home to Dunners). I think I am having my cake and eating it too and feel pretty bloody good about it actually!
    Off to Pink this weekend with the girls, so that will another sober concert under my belt. Why did I ever want to drink at a concert… Oh, the money I spent on concerts that I don’t remember!
    Daughters wedding is drawing closer and we have resolved a number of our issues and are back on track. Will be glad when it is all over though.
    Great to see so many new faces on here, I can absolutely vouch that if I can do it, you can too and honestly, life gets really good! Today is Day 970 for me, 30 days off 1000 days! Blimey Charlie who’d have thought it!

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 10 months, 4 weeks ago

    I would be keen to catch up with some of the LS crew if a Dunedin meet up is planned πŸ™‚
    Keep me posted πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months ago

    I know exactly what you mean @Freedom1025. I was out on Saturday night and four drunk women came up to us, hugging us (we were complete strangers), unable to follow the conversation… (Couldn’t really get past the introduction stage) , and generally sloppy and by then quite unattractive,… (Although quite pretty when they left the house, I suspect). 20mins later one was crying, with two trying to make her feel better and one had stormed off. So glad that is no longer my typical Saturday night… To top it off I bet they felt like shit the next day! Here’s to being sober!

    • @kirst when you’re on this side of the sober equation and see people acting like that it’s like palm to forehead, what was I thinking?

  • Kirst posted an update 11 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hey team, back from my trip to Sydney… I have been trying to think of a word to describe it and the only one I can come up with is PERFECT!
    I had the very best time with the new man. I am quite smitten and haven’t felt like this in a very very long time…. I have even approached Bridezilla (daughter) about bring a plus one to the wedding LOL!

    Felt the odd pang for drink while in Sydney but played it forward to the sloppy person and hungover wreck I would become. I preferred to stay classy and in the moment… Luckily the man is a total normy, can have one/two drinks and leave it. He is a foody too so we tried some beautiful food (no good for the diet but back on that wagon this week).

    And universe is playing its role as the day we flew out, one of my contracts confirmed they want me in their office two days per week, and their office happens to be the town he lives in (about two 1/2 hours from my city)…. Synchronicity huh!?
    Trying not to think to far ahead and just make the most of each moment for now.
    Hope you are all doing amazingly well on your journey! D949 X

    • Congrats on day 949 @kirst and your trip sounds wonderful. Well done for staying sober in spite of the pangs. Holidays can be a big trigger, at least thats my experience. Very excited for you re the new man as well! β™‘β™‘ πŸ™‚ x

    • @kirst, love a bit of love. congrats on D949, amazing and congrats on new life coming to you. Best.

    • That is the best.

    • Ohh i love everything about this!! And I loved Sydney….a beautiful weekend in a beautiful city with a good man and good food. You are so deserving of all that good stuff girl!!! And the best part of it all….. 949 days….the big 1000 is coming up!!!

    • Love this, friend. !!!!!!!☺

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @kitten and congrats on DAY 11 X

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @Morgan x. Three nights off is nothing to be sneezed at… Luxuriate in that! And that food sounds delicious! Sydney and the new man seem a bit good to be true but then I remind myself how many frogs I have kissed and think that it is my time lol! I will provide updates soon. Enjoy your days off x

    • May this one turn into a Prince, or stay a prince?
      It seems a long, rocky road the dating game. My flatmate has given up in despair at present, and another lovely, a colleague has been very let down – too good to be true thoughts are a good warning, but as you said, living in the present and taking a risk is brave and could be viewed as fun as opposed to scary. I a coward from the sidelines though. Will stick by my recluse – I guess a risk in itself as I may be missing out… Another I know has found a great man after long arduous years of disappointment. She had to accept less than the handsome knight in shining armour she so didn’t deserve or match lol
      Btw, you take care @soberstylist. You worry me! Are your instincts guiding you? That flatmate business … Could have been way worse xxxxx

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @mari135. Looking forward to cracking the 1000! Never been to Sydney so a wee bit excited! Have a fabulous day x

  • Kirst posted an update 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey team, A quick check in from me on Day 942. A lot going on at the moment, billing completed for the month… It was surprisingly good considering I have been a bit sidetracked with my new beau. We are off to Sydney on Thursday and I have not had one second thought or doubt… I am fully committed to living in the moment and letting the future take care of itself. Weight is a little up and down but I remain grateful that there are down parts lol! The 12-week vision workshop is going well (wk 5) and it is also helping me to live in the moment, teaching me that like energy attracts like energy and reminding me to be very grateful for my lot…. And I am. Blessings to you all no matter where on this journey you are. X

    • How exciting! My biggest excitement is 3 nights off, then more measured amounts of work. It is heavenly to be in my own bed with no chance of crazy or sad teens demanding attention.
      I seem to be getting good results from a few days off sugar and any processed carbs. High fat, shock horror, but @thor found it amazing.
      Eating more creatively is nice – salad, tuna, ricotta and avocado, then a divine mousse with chia, avocado, coconut cream, cacao, vanilla, and whoops, Frangelica and a splash of Kalua. God it is so good. I do recall @prudence saying she will eat booze, so hope my day count can survive this …
      The mental clarity is great. Feels a bit like fasting without the hunger πŸ™‚
      Don’t forget us whilst in Sydney. Some of us need to live vicariously through the travel and romance of others it seem.
      How sad is that lol

      • Thanks @Morgan x. Three nights off is nothing to be sneezed at… Luxuriate in that! And that food sounds delicious! Sydney and the new man seem a bit good to be true but then I remind myself how many frogs I have kissed and think that it is my time lol! I will provide updates soon. Enjoy your days off x

        • May this one turn into a Prince, or stay a prince?
          It seems a long, rocky road the dating game. My flatmate has given up in despair at present, and another lovely, a colleague has been very let down – too good to be true thoughts are a good warning, but as you said, living in the present and taking a risk is brave and could be viewed as fun as opposed to scary. I a coward from the sidelines though. Will stick by my recluse – I guess a risk in itself as I may be missing out… Another I know has found a great man after long arduous years of disappointment. She had to accept less than the handsome knight in shining armour she so didn’t deserve or match lol
          Btw, you take care @soberstylist. You worry me! Are your instincts guiding you? That flatmate business … Could have been way worse xxxxx

    • Day 1000 coming up and a lovely weekend in Sydney! oxxoxo
      You so so deserve all of this and you laid down the pathway that lead you here by putting your health and safety first for 942 days.

      High five girl!!!
      Legend!!!

    • Thanks for checking back in with us newbies. Congrats @kirst.

    • How exciting @kirst hope you have the best time! Lots to see in Sydney – enjoy!

    • @kirst so good to hear from you! I agree … like energy attracts like energy. πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    That is great news@mullycatnz! Well done!

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    My kids were 21 & 18 before I stopped. I had embarrassed and concerned them more times than I care to remember. I found they were very supportive when I gave up (if somewhat disbelieving at the beginning). Their capacity for forgiveness was humbling.

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    This is rough! Big Hugs! Is there any chance your love can amend his plans for the next five years and live with you in OH? When there is a will, there is a way.

    Don’t let your ex take your power from you, maybe you should call him on it and let him know that you are considering the move anyway and that it might be best for him to take responsibility for the time being while you re-evaluate your plans. Go to your love in TN for a week, regroup and get some space. That might just make the ex freak out and reconsider.
    He is just a devious shit using your kids to control you and prevent your happiness as much as possible, don’t let him do that. The next five years of him dictating what you do and where you go? Bugger That! We could always plan a wee contingent from NZ to come over and sort him out for you if you like…. explain a few facts to him…??? LOL

  • Kirst posted an update 11 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hey team, have not been posting much but have been checking in on you all everyday. Lovely to see so many new faces x
    Business is crazy busy and I hit my goal weight from the weight loss journey I started four months ago. Life is good!
    Daughter wedding planning is straining mother/daughter relations but first world problems right there lol!
    Excitingly, all the (100’s of) dates i have been on have paid off and I have actually met someone pretty cool. It is early days so very much living in the moment and not getting caught up in the future.. The future will take care of itself. So for now it is fantastic, so much so, that we are taking off to Sydney next weekend for a long weekend.
    The universe is an abundant thing and we are all deserving of it’s bounty. This getting sober lark is the first step to a truly better, more fulfilling life xxx Day935 X

    • Omg exciting Kirst! Do elaborate a little if you are in th mood some time… Wow. I know a few in despair over the dating trials so it is so good to hear of a succes.
      Best wishes for the wedding planning. May it be mainly plain sailing and joy xxxx

    • Okay we might have to make you our “poster child” for “why people should get AF”. That’s quite a wave you’re riding there Kirst, and you deserve it. Nicely done.

    • 935 and so many good things all around…you are so so deserving of it all and then some.
      oxoxox

      Have fun in sweet Sydney!!!

    • Wahey that’s cool @kirst ! Have a great time Sydney-side!

    • Exciting! Everything sounds peachy @kirst well apart from the wedding planning lol awesome to hear you’ve met a nice person πŸ™‚

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 11 months, 4 weeks ago

    Have been thinking about you today and hoping everything went well. Sending lots of strength and healing your way xx

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    That is awesome @Esharp76! I was just thinking about you yesterday and was almost going to do a shout out. 200 days, superstar! X

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    I’m quite fond of a good throat punch comment… And to be fair given my height I could probably on reach someones throat Bahaha!. But truthfully, that is shit mate but I think you always knew you were going to have to be there for her on your own. Bloody rough for her. Big ups to you… You’re a bloody strong woman! X

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Hey @mamatomany, I think you are being a bit dismissive of yourself! Just 5 kids?! That is monumental! Two of whom you have taken in and who provide their own challenges (reason enough not to drink there). I think you are amazing and that the world is a better place because of who you are and what you are doing! And if anybody dares to look down your nose at you, well, that shows a failing in their character, not yours. Be proud, hold your head high and your shoulders back! You are great!

  • Kirst posted an update 1 year ago

    A cheeky wee opinion piece from one of our local constables in the community newspaper… Sad but true…

    Amazing age-defying effects of alcohol

    • Omg that hilarious and whoops rings true of me. Hhmow the fuck a small chick like me can be so full of brvado lol then weeps in the cells lol OH HOW MANY TIMES. Crak up, thanks

    • Funny! “Throws toys tantrum then falls asleep”, so true!

    • So true, and so funny!

    • Love it, thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

    • Ro replied 1 year ago

      Classic @kirst god the things the cops have to deal with due to pissed fools-full credit to them, such a hard job

    • Mrs D replied 1 year ago

      ha ha that’s brilliant! x

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    X

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Wow, go you! That is awesome! Well done X

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Welcome @Jasmaine. I am sure there is a bit more to your connection with your husband than just sharing a drink together. Have him pour you a nice AF drink instead.
    You might need to find other things to do together. It is tough in the first wee while but it really is about making new patterns, routines and finding new and authentic ways to connect x. All you have to do is get to bed sober tonight x

    • Hi Kirst….yes you’re right….new patterns and new ways to connect….I hope we can. Thank you

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    I fully support what everyone above has said but especially @robynb with regard to supporting yourself (you can), and valuing yourself as an equal… Make your decisions on your emotional needs not your physical needs… Look after the emotional and the physical will sort itself out… The universe is an abundant place x

  • Kirst posted an update 1 year ago

    Hey team, haven’t posted for a while but have been checking in on you all everyday, commiserating with your stumbles and celebrating your triumphs. Well done to all our Canadians and Americans who soberly negotiated their respective national days this week, and to those who slipped, take those lessons and grow from them X
    Things are super busy in my world, I can’t keep up with the work that is coming in and I’m turning work away left right and centre but it’s a great problem for a year old company to have so I am very grateful.
    I have just signed up to a 12 week vision workshop – creating your vision of the future and focussing your energy getting there… And a bit of mediation thrown in…. A bit of a mind stretch for logical, rational me but a good way to create a dedicated time for some focussed self care. Still so important after all this time not to let that slip!
    We are still wedding planning with my daughter and I’m still dating often but she’s a hard road finding the perfect man lol (must be someone out there for me.. Surely??!! … Maybe the visioning stuff will.help lol).
    Finally, my weight loss journey I started four months ago is trucking along well, 10kg so far! 1.5kg off my goal weight but now I am going to revise that down again… never satisfied! Life is great without the booze! Keep fighting the good fight! Love ya’s X D917

    • Wow, and goodness, and well, wow. What a post. Inspiring.
      You certainly sound ultra busy. Can you keep up???
      Happy weekend. Xxxx

  • Kirst posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Only you know how bad you were… And seeing how it brought you here, it might have been bad huh?! Don’t think to far into the future when it comes to drinking.. Just focus on each moment and think what would drinking (not the first sip or glass but all that follows) add to this moment? My answer is always nothing, it would add nothing and take away so much!

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