Start date 8/2/2014 At any stage I can choose to drink, but with that choice comes choosing all that come with it, so for today I choose not to drink. Nobody regretted ever being sober. :-)
"...It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore. ~Rev. Safire Rose. :
Thank you @k1w1, that makes a lot of sense to me. I wasn’t sure where this sadness was coming from, I was hoping to feel joy at my accomplishment and decision to face the situation head on. But your connecting the dots about my sadness of the relationships changing really struck a cord with me. I needed help making that leap, thank you xoxo
hahaha yes – be careful @K1w1 who knows what you will do next! Art works could take a new turn. I sometimes get protein powder or ‘stuff’ but my system does not seem to like it much, although Bs and tumeric lift me up. Had a look – it does look pretty amazing. Maybe for my girl at exam time – and me when stupidly working weekends-that-go-wrong as this one has. Bloody teens
It’s a powder drink with the ingredients I mentioned. Theanine is good for chilling you out the others are antioxidants. I had it again yesterday and it helped a lot as in cravings for chocolate went and I felt mentally better, so well keep having it all week and see if the benefit continues especially fridays which at work I am by myself for 9.5 hours except for customers. I struggle being alone for the whole day, and then if it gets busy I have to cope. Hate fridays 😒 hopefully they will employ someone within the next month to be there as well. Last Friday I ate so much junk food the day just stresses me out. Bored or super busy no in between
@k1w1 I’ve been doing it all wrong. Chopping at the choppy water. Nearly laughable at this point, how much shit has entered my world. Not drowning though. Can’t when there’s not a drop of the lethal liquid around. I’ll manage to swim through the other shit somehow.
@k1W1 He didn’t face up to it – I caught him out . He lied when I first confronted him. I am angry that (a) he lied when I first confronted him (b) he chose a drunken night away with his “mates” over a weekend away from his family , (c) that instead of not drinking (as we discussed), he chose to get drunk to the point where he made bad decisions and (d) that he ended up in a disgusting strip bar looking at naked women when he is supposed to be mature, decent man, married and loyal to me and his family – I view it as a disgusting betrayal. Oh and (e) that I looked after our children all weekend, giving them a great time away, I was exhausted, particularly as we have a child with pretty severe special needs and a disability, while he went for his little drunken trip. Those are all my reasons….thanks for asking, it helps writing down my reasons for my anger!
@k1W1 if you change your password here to something you don’t use elsewhere, you should be fine. Also – try out a password manager, like LastPass (lastpass.com), you can then save all your passwords in a secure vault (uses goverment level encryption) and you only need to remember the one password to get into that vault where all your other passwords will be stored. I would be lost without it. Hope this helps! (I’m a System Administrator, lol)
I totally feel you @k1W1 it’s everywhere booze, booze and more booze. Got an invite for my step daughters hen’s party and it’s a bloody stay over with wine tastings! It feels like every event is centered around the bloody stuff.
Today’s thought from my big comfy chair: “Thank you for the support”
I was scrolling through the profiles this morning when it dawned on me how many people on this site have touched me in some way. A comment on my post or something that they posted that resonated with me, something that made me laugh or sometimes cry. What a wonderful supportive, safe place this has become for me. So I will leave you with this Bruce Springsteen lyric that has been running through my mind over the last couple of days. From the song “Into The Fire”
May your strength give us strength May your hope give us hope May your faith give us faith May your love give us love
Thanks for the mention @hammer123. We are all in this together and the support we give one another is truly a blessing. Each one of us has a different story as to how we went off the rails and started abusing alcohol. We are not bad people we just got addicted. This is what we all share and deal with on this journey to live an AF life. We are all very fortunate to have stumbled on to this wonderful community that @Mrs-D started at the beginning of her journey. Thanks to everyone of you for being here! May you all have a great AF day!
Nicely said and widely shared @hammer123. I too am extremely grateful for this place and for all the warm, supportive, non-judgemental, empathetic (I could go on…) people here. To know that there are people just like me, all over the world, struggling with the same issue and experiencing the same emotions – and willing to reach out to help others along has been quite a humbling, yet empowering experience. Sending out sincere thanks to all – and wishing everyone a peaceful AF day.
I totally agree! This has been tough but also at times easier than I imagined and I think that has a lot to do with this community. It is my touch stone first thing in the morning and last thing at night and it reminds me what I am doing and why. So grateful x.@hammer123
I’m with @k1w1, it doesn’t have to be inevitable. I also don’t think willpower is enough. We know we have incredibly strong wills. We’ve managed to keep jobs and power through days hungover. Asking for help before you drink is a great way to stay on track! xo
I’m Nope still have no post button on iPad did notice that up top on the address bar it says unsecure in red. Have a post button on my iPhone but when I went to comment on @tipsytoegal for some reason on my iPhone it went to her profile page rather than staying in members feed area.
YES!!! And I could not reply directly to your posts @k1w1 Or @Winner….I’m on my lap top now but was unable to get anywhere on Ipad. Completely lost my longish update…showed in my activity for a moment but would not post and now just vanished. @mrs-d
Yes me too on the gaining weight. You’d think that if you don’t suck down a bottle a night you’d lose but…I’ve gained too. But I ageee with @k1w1 with saying it’s better than alcohol. Someone here assured me in my first week it would level out itself so that’s what I’m counting on.
Hi @k1w1! Some of my favorites are: Mrs. D, Gabby Bernstein, sober revolution, peaceful_barb (not necessarily sobriety focused, but really good stuff), #alcoholfree, the temper, #sobriety, sobersaturdayz, positivelypresent, asobergirlsguide, glennen doyle, thisnakedmind, laura mckowen, sobermomtribe xo
Thanks so much for your replies @saoirse, @timidwarrior, @kitten, @morgan, @k1w1, @shez, @jm. So much wisdom. I went and had bloods done- we’ll see if there’s anything to be done there. I need to get this sorted, I feel I can’t face another winter like this. You know it’s getting bad when existence seems pointless and there is no joy in anything… I’ve definitely got a bad case of (in Tara’s words) “something is missing, something is wrong”. I’m so glad to be able to separate myself from it to a degree and not buy into it as reality, well not completely anyway. Hope you guys are all well! xxxxxxx And thank you.
That is no good at all. You will have to keep exploring. Hopefully just lacking in something vital. Iron ok? I am a great believer in check all physical options b4 any psychological delving as our chemistry can do us in big time. Mine does. Then the crazy, depressive stories my mind makes up- ridiculous, but so real and overwhelming
I am not saying it is or isnt anything – we are such complex beings. As the saying so truly goes, the more I learn, the less i know. Just watching Heal, a doco on Netflix. Very interesting. Have you seen it? Not too ott
I think Tara, along with St Johns wort and a few other helpful supplements (Tumeric!) has really helped rebuild my neural pathways into more constructive peaceful ones – yes @k1w1, D is essential and for so much of our healthy functioning, and iron. Did the Dr not give you the one-a-month all winter one? Stephen Pinker has also helped my horror at the injustice and crap in the world – and I have sort of dealt with my guilt that I am not doing enough … we can really bring ourselves dooowwwn that is for sure, and so can our chemistry 🙁
Oh @K1W1 I am a fiend for clothes. I have to have at least a dozen choices. My biggest worry is if I do any shopping I wouldnt fit more than a hanky in my pack haha. The only sensible thing I did was get quite a small pack…..to keep myself in line. Where are you going? Xx
Hey @k1w1 thanks I am aware of that pain. Unfortunately wats happening there is that the site is paginating via making a request of the server for more data. So it’s not so much seeing the rest of the page as seeing the next page. I have a couple of fixes for this that I am looking at implementing. Once I have sorted out the emerald speed issue i’ll see about improving this.
Thanks @Agirl, @k1W1, and @freedom1025. Good counsel as always. I’ll try not to dwell and just breathe through it. I’ll take the advice and begin planning something nice for this weekend. Going to be alone (again). Maybe take me shopping for something special. Thanks for the support. So good to know I’m not alone in this. Xox
Congrats on D86. Could be a bit of PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome). Or just life in general now that you’re living it without the numbing effect of alcohol. I agree with @k1w1 … accept it and breathe. It will pass. 😊