• Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 day, 5 hours ago

    Good for you for getting right back to work! That can be hard, but it’s all that matters in the struggle to be free of alcohol.

    • My actual place of work flooded last week so I’m not quite sure what’s happening next with that @juliana, certainly added to my stress pot. They may decide to rebuild part of the structure. Working on being AF will be easy again for a while, at least after this. Just the lingering thought of the smell makes me ill.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 day, 5 hours ago

    You do just keep getting up @janus2. You really always keep trying to find a way forward which I admire a lot. Stay strong, friend.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 days, 5 hours ago

    You are really in the middle of hard times @ro. I admire you for staying sober during all this, because I wasn’t able to give up drinking until all the hardships of my kids started to calm down. You know one of my daughters has bipolar disorder, my son had serious health problems and then mental health problems as a result, and my other daughter was mad at all of us because of how hard life in the family had been. Many days I felt as though I just couldn’t take another step, but slowly their lives improved. Therapy actually was important for all of them, but it didn’t work quickly at all. Looking back, I don’t know how I handled it all and I don’t know how you are handling it with such determination and humor. Your daughter’s pain just be so horrible
    for you, as well as for her. Stay strong. xx

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 days, 16 hours ago

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 days, 16 hours ago

    It sounds like you have set the right priorities. Congratulations on the job offer!

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 days, 16 hours ago

    Good morning @ChardaNO. It’s good to hear from you. I’m glad your retirement is giving you some time to yourself to reflect and learn during your family challenges. I hope your daughter is continuing to do better.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @ClaireM Welcome here!

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    If you push past the times you return to drinking, you may find that after a while you don’t care about it at all. At least that’s been my experience and that of many others here. Good for you for continuing to work on the problem!

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Welcome @FreeSpirit. Lots of help and kindness here.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    I wish I could knit with you @Ro and send you a knitted dish towel or 12. They are just ordinary kitchen towels made out of an inexpensive cotton with different patterns. I’ve never heard of a knitting injury before! Yikes, yours sounds painful! I hope your kids are OK. I know how hard it is. Maturing extends waaaay into the 20’s.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    I love knitting! It has been an important tool in getting sober and also in coping with stress all my life. The best for me is making simple things when I have the patterns memorized. Socks are my specialty, also dish towels. I’ve just about saturated my family and friends with as many as they can use. I’m glad to find fellow knitters. I’m not sure why it is so calming, but it really helps me.

    • What the hell does a knitted dish towel do @juliana ? Dry the dishes or wipe the bench? My Nan was a great knitter-told me once she told me ten times- ‘ I learned to knit at kindy with 6 inch nails and string’ lol I’ve actually got her knitting needles. I’m a pretty useless knitter. I made a few things over the years. When I stopped smoking I knat a blanket I called the drunkie blankie cos I took up drinking at a great rate of knots while I was doing it to take my mind off the smoking. And then after I stopped drinking I decided to have another crack and had the knitting bag sitting on the floor under my chair, leapt up and impaled the sole of my foot. Had to pull the needle out. And yeah haven’t ever picked it up again lol and I can only really do purl and plain and I can’t fix mistakes. I wish I had you to show me

      • I wish I could knit with you @Ro and send you a knitted dish towel or 12. They are just ordinary kitchen towels made out of an inexpensive cotton with different patterns. I’ve never heard of a knitting injury before! Yikes, yours sounds painful! I hope your kids are OK. I know how hard it is. Maturing extends waaaay into the 20’s.

      • Ha to it sounds like you’ve had quite an eventful knitting g career. I have found YouTube a great source of inspiration I getting me out of knitting pickles. Hope you’re feeling better xx

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    I’m glad you have joined us @RayGoldy. I have been a member for 2 years. The kindness and support here have helped me give up drinking.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Oh @Jesss, you just have so much to handle. I’m sorry to hear about your Dad’s diagnosis. I think you are doing fantastically well to be staying sober during all this – never mind about the recent drinks. Maybe you should try with a therapist again. I suffered from terrible depression in my 29’s and therapy was critical for my recovery. Also, don’t give up on medication. My whole family has troubles with anxiety and depression. In addition to therapy, the medication has been really helpful. My sister in law is a psychiatrist who specializes in helping people with medications, so I have a lot of faith in its efficacy, since I trust and admire her a lot. I’m not a fan of the pharma industry either. That why we need skilled psychiatrists to help us find the right resources for us individually. Please take good care of yourself.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    I’m sorry you’re feeling low today @DennyD. Happy Birthday… Does the birthday have anything to do with the low feeling, or nothing to do with it? My first daughter was born on the 4th of July, 31 years ago tomorrow. It’s a special holiday for us because of that. We always got a cake decorated as a flag for her birthday. I hope your mood improves soon.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @Frog. Good to hear from you!!! I think often of all your reasons not to drink. I’m on a lunch break from my summer program with kids, trying to warm up in the car from the freezing AC inside. I just finished a challenging hour with rising 9th gr and now off to read with 3rd where I have an easier time. I hope you are doing well.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Welcome @koala. There is lots of help here.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    I am 66, so your concerns about aging are familiar to me. Two years ago I started to see a psychiatrist I had worked with intensively during my teens and 20’s to work on some of my fears about getting older. I had stayed in touch over the years, but not talked to her for at least 15 years. These appointments have been really helpful to me. For one thing, she is 87 and going strong which is a helpful example to see. I am trying to make the most of everything, my teaching job, my family, reading, yoga, walking with my dogs and taking care of my overgrown mess of a garden. Giving up wine made a huge difference in my ability to take satisfaction in what I have, because I don’t feel ashamed and guilty all the time. Seeing the therapist has been strenuous because she lives in NY and I live in Washington, but it has been really important for my mood. I go every 6 weeks on the train, a long day, but I need to do it. Good luck with all your efforts. Xx

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Welcome @Kali. There is a lot of help here.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    It took me about 6 months to feel more energetic. I was exhausted most of the time. I checked with my doctor to make sure nothing else was the matter. I just had to wait it out..

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Wow, you are active and busy! Well done on three days.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    A very wise post @mari135. Congrats on 800 days!

    • Sounds like the games children play, they hand something out to us like a sweet or something else we might like then as we reach for it they pull their hand away and giggle. We laugh too cos its a child but when adults do it its sad. This guy needs to grow up you are so way beyond him.

      • MaryB, this was GOLD! I got your reply at the right time and whenever I felt like the situation was pulling me down a bit I thought of what you said…Pictured him as a toddler that pulls the toy away and giggles. It felt REALLY good to hear you write “I am way beyond him.”
        I hope one day I fully embody that feeling and feel like I truly am. Getting there….

        oxoxoxo

    • Juliana, thank you so much!!! oxoxo

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    I’m on Day 714 which I couldn’t imagine when I joined here. I had tried and tried to cut down or stop with little success. I’ve had a pretty good day in spite of it being the first day for children at a summer program where I work. The program is great, but the first day is strenuous, especially getting everyone back and forth to the pool. I’m tired now!

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Happy Day 2! You know how to do this from your past success. Keep going!

    • Thank you, it’s just harder this time, I got to Day 6 last week then blew it at the weekend. I can’t just have 1, and now I know this… sitting outside blogging with a hot chocolate it should get easier

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Congratulations on Day 6. You sound confident and ready to be successful.

    • jmtn replied 3 weeks ago

      Thank you @juliana. I am so ready. How is everything going with you? What day are you on?

      • I’m on Day 714 which I couldn’t imagine when I joined here. I had tried and tried to cut down or stop with little success. I’ve had a pretty good day in spite of it being the first day for children at a summer program where I work. The program is great, but the first day is strenuous, especially getting everyone back and forth to the pool. I’m tired now!

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    The freedom IS a great gift to yourself. When I gave up 2 years ago after joining here, I didn’t understand how my thoughts about alcohol would change. In the beginning I really struggled to resist and now I don’t think about it at all except to be grateful I was able to change my life. Distract yourself any way you can when you want to drink. Also, don’t try any other self improvement projects right now. Make staying sober your big priority now. That’s what finally worked for me.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Welcome @MementoMori. Joining this site 2 years ago made all the difference to me with my alcohol struggle.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    You are doing so well to stay sober during all of this adversity. Life can just be so awful sometimes. I haven’t ever found a way to accept that. I just try to put my head down and get done what has to be done in the moment. Then after a while, (sometimes a long while), things improve. Thinking of you @Jesss

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    I’m sorry your job is hard. That does suck the joy out of life. Congratulations on Day 54! You can be extra proud of yourself for getting that number of days while coping with a bad job. @Deester

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Thanks @morgan. I have this irrational thought that I could stop the move by saying, “No, I never agreed to this!” .

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    I try to remember this, but it doesn’t always help. Thanks for your support.

  • Juliana posted an update 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    I’m having a busy week, because I finished my teaching job last Friday and started a summer teaching job on Monday. Wow! Last week I was packing up and checking teachers off for returning materials and this week I am unpacking, delivering books and helping teachers get their rooms set up. I wish there was a little transition time, but I do enjoy this program, part camp, part school, which helps these kids from high poverty schools maintain growth during the summer. They go swimming every day and have field trips every week. They are lovely children. The other teachers are fun too. I stopped at the gym on my way home and got a haircut, so I’m feeling very efficient. Earlier in the day when I had to go out from work to get fingerprinted for security, I stopped to see my sister-in-law who is getting ready to move to Japan in 3 weeks. My brother and 2 nephews will follow in August. I have a hard time with change and loss, making this tough for me. I’ll adjust, but I wish they weren’t going. I have to remember that one of the hardest parts of change for me is right before the change happens. That’s when I’m most sad. Once it’s done, I get busy with the new reality. Anyway, I’m grateful not to be drinking. That would only make things harder.

    • I’m the same way. I think it’s the anticipation of change that cause me anxiety. Once it happens I can start to deal with it. Glad to hear you’re liking your summer gig. Sounds very worthwhile!

    • My sister and family moved far away recently, and it IS a terrible loss, though you are right, the busy ness and the present does take over. I fear I do work a bit obsessively to avoid loneliness – or rather the fear of it as it doesn’t actually occur – well, maybe an hour or two.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    I’ve had that thought before about the new secret, as well as the thought that it turned out to be so simple, just STOP drinking. Not that it felt simple when I was struggling, but that’s what it amounts to.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    I still can’t get used to the fact the we experience opposite seasons. It is 90 F here today with thunderstorms. I don’t like winter so I feel lucky when I read about your deep freeze.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    I’m glad you shared about your work @morgan. It does sound like we have some similar situations. What a terrible time some families must have had with the earthquakes and the massacre. Most of our families come from Ethiopia and Central and South America, fleeing poverty and violence. We have 2 wonderful counselors who are highly valued by administration, but the beaurocracy in a huge system (190,000 students!) creates some problems.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Welcome @Flash23!

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    2843 is a big number! You’re amazing.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    @Robyn I have the idea that you work for Child Protective Services from something you’ve said in the past. I work at a school with lots of traumatized kids and I know they need every helping hand available. I’m sorry you have a difficult supervisor. Working in high poverty schools, I sometimes have had admin who just don’t really understand the complexity of working with young children and insist on some rigid ways of doing things that don’t make sense. Take care of yourself.

    • Same @Juliana but I am incredibly fortunate to have most of my cluster of schools full of understanding and gratitude for the counselling work I do, and they care about the children. Partly they can be like this as they are on the rich side of town, kids are mainly well fed, cooperative and clean, and the quake effects were far less. A lot of Muslim families in the area though, so the massacre recently will be impacting on those families. Buffered by their beliefs in most cases, helps a lot

      • I’m glad you shared about your work @morgan. It does sound like we have some similar situations. What a terrible time some families must have had with the earthquakes and the massacre. Most of our families come from Ethiopia and Central and South America, fleeing poverty and violence. We have 2 wonderful counselors who are highly valued by administration, but the beaurocracy in a huge system (190,000 students!) creates some problems.

    • Good lord, 190,000??? College? University? Only 2 counsellors???

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    I hope this means that the guests who didn’t come out finally came out and left! I’m glad good things are happening. You deserve it! Watch out for that mint because it spreads fast and takes over. As a lazy gardener I observe this happening and think I should do something about it – someday.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Good for you for supporting the rights of all! Thanks for being a great citizen and congratulations on staying sober @jo14.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome @say123! I’m glad you have joined us.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Complain away as much as you want!! Just don’t drink! You sound very determined and ready to distract yourself. I’m sure you will get through the day. Post some more if you need to. We are here cheering for you @Lars.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Oh, that’s terrible. I can’t really think of any worse news. The pain of the parents must be unbearable. I’m sorry.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Great @MrsFinallyFree! Enjoy that reflexology! Now I’ll go look up to see what it is.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I’m glad you are seeing so much in your Italian travels. It is beautiful around Sorrento. Once my Mom rented a house for a.month there and all of us went to visit, spending time with our Italian cousins too. I think I told you my grandfather came to NY when he was a teenager and some of his brothers and sisters stayed in Italy. He was from Castellemare di Stabia. He was always grateful for the life he was able to build in the US, starting selling fruit from a push cart in New Haven. Recently my son was remembering when he was in Pompeii as a little boy, lamenting that he didn’t appreciate the experience, because he just kept thinking “I am sooooo hot!”. Keep the travel reports coming, please!

    • Oh yes @Juliana I remember you saying you had some roots here. It’s such a gorgeous town, I really love it. I love the way people promenade around the streets at nights, tons of them, just walking around looking beautiful. I am now addicted to dark chocolate gelato too….oops!

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Just jump in to post and read or just read. I am 700 days sober today which I could not imagine 700 days ago. I don’t think about drinking anymore. LS made all the difference for me. Good luck @JB.OB

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Wow, you got yourself out of that temptation really well. Well done @Robyn.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Welcome @JB.OB. I’m glad you’ve joined us.

    • Thank you. Bit nervous I have to admit.

      • Just jump in to post and read or just read. I am 700 days sober today which I could not imagine 700 days ago. I don’t think about drinking anymore. LS made all the difference for me. Good luck @JB.OB

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I’m glad things are looking up for you. Congratulations on 646 days, a big achievement, especially with all the pressures you have had.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Welcome @SezA! I hope you find as much help here as I have done. It’s a great community.

  • Juliana posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I just finished a book I liked a lot called Bangkok Wakes to Rain. Coming up is my last week of the school year, so very busy at work. I start a summer job right after school ends, also as a reading teacher, but in a very low key summer program that is lots of fun. I’m on the Eastern Shore of Maryland this weekend with my husband and 2 dogs. We played tennis for the first time in about 10 years and it was funny since we were so out of practice. We didn’t hit many balls in the court and spent most of our time picking up balls to try again. The weather was beautiful, but it’s thundering now, so no tennis tomorrow I guess. @ro

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