• JudyB posted an update 2 weeks ago

    @bobswife 9 weeks till I’m 50 and was first drunk at 11. Sounds like your story is similar. I’ve had one wine in the last 6 weeks which is s miracle. Feeling heaps better for it.

  • JudyB posted an update 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    So I had a wine last night. After 32 days sober af. Only one though, which is miraculous in itself. Didn’t enjoy it either. Not really. I’m a dumass for not getting on here the last week because I knew I needed some support. We went out for the wine though, didn’t get a bottle in at home. After the wine I went to the supermarket and walked down the wine aisle and was relieved that I wasn’t even interested in putting any in my trolley. So the evil wine witch had a small win, but she is weak, very weak. On I go.

    • Hold onto those 32 days, and to the fact that you had only one.
      Strong as a lion I’d say!!!!!!!! Well done!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • 32 days AF is great. congrats on not downing the whole bottle. @judyb

  • JudyB posted an update 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Day 24.. rock on 🤘

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Yahoo! Good on you and courageous on!!!

  • JudyB posted an update 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    @jmtn well done getting back on track! The thing I like best about it is feel like I’ve found this new secret that’s hidden in plain sight haha and I’m wondering why everyone isn’t into being sober! 😂😂😂

    • 😂

    • I’ve had that thought before about the new secret, as well as the thought that it turned out to be so simple, just STOP drinking. Not that it felt simple when I was struggling, but that’s what it amounts to.

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Great thanks! I had a spiced chai rooibos tea, hell it was good! Turns out my mate has been cutting right down on the booze too so brilliant all round.

    • That’s so awesome!!! Well done and I’m SO happy for you that she is, too. I have a group of drinking buddies that I love. All such wonderful ladies, but I’ve been worried about being left out as time goes on by some of them that are very heavy drinkers. BUT, one of my good friends and drinking buddy is also trying to cut back. I hope she continues to. It makes it so much easier! Happy Day 19!!! Day 2 for me (again), but this time I’m making sure to use more and different sober tools. So happy to have you and everyone else in this group in my life. xoxo

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Oops. Piss. Not puss 😂😂

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I know your post is for Lucy, hope you don’t mind that I read it. I absolutely love your last bit ‘Keep strong like King King, drinking puss is so yesterday.’ Brilliant.

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 18. Loving that number going up. Yesterday was hard. I’m a relief teacher and I had the worst class I’ve ever had. Man that evil wine witch was calling me! But I told her where to go. Looking forward to a forest walk with my old drinking buddy today, instead of drinking!! Woohoo! She will try to get me to have a wine after but I’ll be good with a sparkling water 😊

    • Good for you!

    • Great job! How did the wine and sparkling water date go?

      • Great thanks! I had a spiced chai rooibos tea, hell it was good! Turns out my mate has been cutting right down on the booze too so brilliant all round.

        • That’s so awesome!!! Well done and I’m SO happy for you that she is, too. I have a group of drinking buddies that I love. All such wonderful ladies, but I’ve been worried about being left out as time goes on by some of them that are very heavy drinkers. BUT, one of my good friends and drinking buddy is also trying to cut back. I hope she continues to. It makes it so much easier! Happy Day 19!!! Day 2 for me (again), but this time I’m making sure to use more and different sober tools. So happy to have you and everyone else in this group in my life. xoxo

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Day 10. Lots of release and shifts for me. 👍🏻

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Day 7. Done and done. Yeehah!

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Sounds fabulous @kaydee and you’re doing so well!!!

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I haven’t actually talked to him about it. When I have tried in the past, he convinces me that a couple at the weekend is fine. That turns into a couple of bottles, that turns into a bottle every night. I’m so sick of it. So The night I joined this group I was up in the wee hours, unable to sleep because of nightmares (day before duck shooters across the road had showered our property and my animals in shot and I was very upset about it… had drowned my stress in a bottle of sav), and I was so sick of feeling powerless. So I’m doing it. I’m sober. That’s it. I think it challenges him because his first wife was a teetotaller. Anyway, now his second wife is, whether he likes it or not.

    • Oh yeah, mine still thinks it’s ok to drink, really drink, once in awhile. He doesn’t seem to get the idea I can’t stop once started. But over time I’ve managed to convince him that I don’t drink and he READILY admits life is much better.

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Yahoo go you!!!!! You can do it. If I can, anyone can! My favourite thing is feeling in control, not just sliding along in a hazy daze being highly functioning and fooling everyone but myself. All the best for your day 2 xx

    • Thanks, JudyB! “Done and dusted,” as they say. All set to tackle Day Three – hope your day was good too. I did have a moment where old man Denial reared his ugly head, but I told him where to go. I’d say thinking of this community on line, and my pledge, did help me stay centered.

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Met hubby at a restaurant last night, I text him 5 mins before I got there that I’d like a non-alcoholic drink please. He already had a lovely glass of cab sav sitting there waiting for me. When I arrived and saw it I was worried, but he was gracious and asked what I’d like and said he would have the wine. Yahoo!! I had a heineken 0. Winning. Day 5 tonight, feeling good.

    • Great!! : )

    • wonderful. keep on, @judyb.

    • That is very proactive of you and a great strategy! Awesome your hubby is on board.

      • I haven’t actually talked to him about it. When I have tried in the past, he convinces me that a couple at the weekend is fine. That turns into a couple of bottles, that turns into a bottle every night. I’m so sick of it. So The night I joined this group I was up in the wee hours, unable to sleep because of nightmares (day before duck shooters across the road had showered our property and my animals in shot and I was very upset about it… had drowned my stress in a bottle of sav), and I was so sick of feeling powerless. So I’m doing it. I’m sober. That’s it. I think it challenges him because his first wife was a teetotaller. Anyway, now his second wife is, whether he likes it or not.

        • Oh yeah, mine still thinks it’s ok to drink, really drink, once in awhile. He doesn’t seem to get the idea I can’t stop once started. But over time I’ve managed to convince him that I don’t drink and he READILY admits life is much better.

    • High five!!!
      oxoxoxo

    • Very well done, Judy. Perhaps this is that time when you have that little talk with him and let him know that on the weekend, having one or two isn’t okay. Sounds like he senses it anyway. He sounds like a good guy.

  • JudyB changed their profile picture 1 month, 1 week ago

  • JudyB changed their profile picture 1 month, 1 week ago

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thanks heidi19

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Funny you should say that. I’ve felt a really peaceful shift about it too. Also similar in that I’m at the 15-16 year mark too. Good on you at 37 days 😊

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Yup. I hear ya! Also an empty nester, also autoimmune disease. I’m super tired after my morning at work teaching. Aiming for a quick nap then outside in the sun. I think my autoimmune issues have really Buggered up my energy levels. Zero to zilch. But I force myself, and it is easier now not drinking. Feel a lot more positive. Hope you’re doing ok xxx autoimmune sucks.

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Welcome Deester, all the best to you on this journey. If I can do it so can you! I’m on day 4 😊

    • Thank you JudyB. I’m on day 37. Oddly, most of my life I didn’t drink. The last 15 years of on and of and on and off… Oy vey! This time I feel a peace about it that I haven’t felt before. A shift of some sort.

      • Funny you should say that. I’ve felt a really peaceful shift about it too. Also similar in that I’m at the 15-16 year mark too. Good on you at 37 days 😊

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Rockin it through day 4. Happy as. Loving feeling in control instead of winging it and hoping for the best.

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I am the winner!!!! Made it. Thanks for the encouragement! Xxxx

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome Bridgett, congrats on signing up! I’m on Day 3 and so far so good. Seriously if I can do it you can too. All the best 😊

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Great work!

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Day 1 and 2 done and dusted. Day 3 with work included (I teach 12 and 13 yr old boys). Hopefully can withstand the evil wine witching hour tonight.

    • JudyB, I have a sweet drink of some kind (I like fruity soda sweetened with Stevia) instead of the wine, and eat dinner promptly to get through the witching hour… Good luck.

    • What is your plan @JudyB to get past the witching hour? Lots of good tips here but being prepared is key. Eat early and often, keep AF drinks on hand, go to bed early, lots of self-care!

    • That must be an interesting age to work with!

    • Well done! Will sure make teaching the boys easier! Does your staff turn to drink a lot? I find teachers hang out for it – seriously love to escape at night.

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Well done Kaydee! You’re doing fabulously and such an awesome example for me to be following xxx

    • It’s knowing I’m accountable to people like you hon that help me be strong too. The daily update to my support team on this site is my happy time at the end of the day instead of wine time. And no hangover in the morning. Tee hee

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Made it on a ginger beer and a Heineken 0%. Have grapetise in the fridge for the wine witching hour. Going well.

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks Kaydee, I will xx

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Yes. I may speak to the barman at lunch today and ask for something that looks like wine in a wine glass. Or not. I think I can do today ok. 😊

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Heehee yes it will be funny for sure! I may even put something else in some wine bottles for myself. Then I can have a fabulous and hilarious night and be a box of fluffy ducks in the morning! 😂😂😂

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Awww thanks so much for the awesome encouragement! Xxx well done you!

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Love it kaydee, evil wine witch… will use that!

    • It’s all yours. I find cursing out the evil wine witch when she starts whispering helps me to be strong and resist. I imagine all Crone looking, like a cartoon figure. She ain’t getting her claws into me today.

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    So. For me to go 100 days sober, I will be at 97 days on my 50th birthday party. It’s going to be a huge event and everyone will expect me to drink like a fish and put most of them (if not all) under the table. I was feeling like I couldn’t do it sober, and the expectations of everyone would make it too hard. BUT, I actually feel safe, knowing I’m not going to drink. Let’s see if I can do Day 1 today… Day 100 was my dad’s birthday, and I know he would be proud of me. But I’m firstly doing this for me. Nearly 50, crikey. Sick of the anxiety and many other problems that are made so much worse overall, not better, by alcohol. First socialising event af today, so I’m looking forward to seeing how I get through it. Wish I’d known this site was here years ago. Guess I just had to look.

    • Good luck for today. Please report back and let us know how you did. We will be here to congratulate you or build you up so you can try again tomorrow.

    • @judyB – even if one of your tools is to “pretend” you have a drink so everyone does not pester you, that is okay too. It got me through those early days.

      • Yes. I may speak to the barman at lunch today and ask for something that looks like wine in a wine glass. Or not. I think I can do today ok. 😊

    • I love your positive and determined outlook. Wonderful. Can’t wait to hear about your party and the surprised guests 😉

      • Heehee yes it will be funny for sure! I may even put something else in some wine bottles for myself. Then I can have a fabulous and hilarious night and be a box of fluffy ducks in the morning! 😂😂😂

    • Hi JudyB… I gave up a year ago because my 40th birthday was coming up later in the year and I wanted to commit to my “Wine free 40’s” having failed at “no wine 39” … having that lead in time let me strengthen my sober muscles, fiture out what stratagies worked best for me… get used to enjoying an AF drink in the evenings rather than a glass of wine… get used to declining a wine and opting for an AF drink in the social environment… in truth it also gave me a little buffer because early on I didn’t know if I could do it so I wanted as much ‘sober practice’ before my 40th … now I love sober and the thought of having a wine is the last thing I want to do… This will be the best present you give yourself… Congratulations on Day 1 today and by day 97 you’re going to feel all the benefits of sober to the full!!!

    • Made it on a ginger beer and a Heineken 0%. Have grapetise in the fridge for the wine witching hour. Going well.

  • JudyB posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you Kaydee 🙂 It’s going to be tough I know, I have managed two months in the past, several years ago, but I loved it. Sick of the guilt, shame, etc etc… hard to stand against loved ones and do this but I must. I just must. It’s wrecking my life entirely.

    • Tough at first, but when the freedom kicks in, the amazement that we ever used the toxic crap, then wow, it is soooo good. (Not always for everyone, we have to build new neural pathways, and observe observe observe every detail that is better – practice gratitude I guess, then it dawns, FREEDOM!

  • JudyB became a registered member 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    • Welcome JudyB. You will find loads of like minded people and support on this site. Feel free to poke around. 😃

      • Thank you Kaydee 🙂 It’s going to be tough I know, I have managed two months in the past, several years ago, but I loved it. Sick of the guilt, shame, etc etc… hard to stand against loved ones and do this but I must. I just must. It’s wrecking my life entirely.

        • Tough at first, but when the freedom kicks in, the amazement that we ever used the toxic crap, then wow, it is soooo good. (Not always for everyone, we have to build new neural pathways, and observe observe observe every detail that is better – practice gratitude I guess, then it dawns, FREEDOM!