July 2, 2017 - I always thought I was a social drinker, but then realized that I would sometimes stay home just so I could drink more than I would if I went out with others. I also would "sneak" a couple of glasses of wine at home, not even sharing that practice with my husband. I did not want to be judged or be a poor role model for my teenagers. *July 4, 2019*
Drinking seemed to hold such promise of getting my happy on, yet in retrospect, all it did was numb my feeling of blah for a bit….for an hour….then needed more and more to keep that numb on. It was never getting my happy on. And the nature of alcohol just brought that blah feeling lower when sober (learned that from This Naked Mind book…..huge lesson on the physical side of what it does and a great graph that depicts this concept that really stuck for me). I like my elevated “normal” state and why mess with it by drinking alcohol. We are all looking for happiness and joy in our everyday so this is a no brainer. Happy day all!
@jr that describes it perfectly! I was trying to chase some elusive “something” with alcohol and of course, was never successful. Through recovery, I’ve learned that “something” comes from within me and can never be filled by some external source. Kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz who always had the power herself to get home, she just never realized it. Happy days.
Freedom, I love the analogy of Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz. I just started reading “The Little Book of Big Change” by Amy Johnston. One thing she said in the introduction is that our human state, or our “baseline” is calm, content, habit free: “You are by nature full of peace of mind, clarity and connection. By nature you are confident, calm and habit-free. You were not born with your habit and it is not an essential part of who you are. It may dominate your thoughts, emotions and behaviors, but your habit says nothing at all about your basic nature – that part of you that is always there and always true, underneath your surface thoughts, emotions and behaviors.” She likens our “baseline” to the sky above the weather. If you have ever flown, you know that above all the clouds, the sky is bright blue and beautiful. That’s us. Our thoughts are the weather flies below the baseline. I thought this was profound and very helpful. Thank you for the Wizard of Oz analogy!! It makes perfect sense.
@freedom1025 I love this analogy with Wizard of Oz, and stopped beating myself with guilt of drinking in my past, because I realize it was something I had to experience to know what I don’t want. I am a hands on learner – ha! Love seeing your name on here!
@jr I just read that chapter of This Naked Mind with the chart in it last night. I totally agree. @freedom1025 Great Oz analogy. @dixiemama Thanks for sharing that passage. 🙂 Happy day to you all! Feeling content with the gorgeous Colorado weather today. 🙂