• joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @queenme I have had the same conversation with my wife. “You really don’t have a problem” she said. My answer was that, even if I don’t always appear to drink “too much”, it’s on my mind from morning till night – every day – and that’s my problem. Because that’s nothing like her own relationship with alcohol, she was able to see that it had become a problem for me, and therefore to take me more seriously and empathise with (and support) my desire to quit.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @laurali I know what you mean about “announcing” it. It’s hard enough without having to deal with all the stuff that declaring it stirs up, even to those closest to you. I worry that my wife will believe I’ll be no fun if she thinks I’ve stopped altogether (although that’s an assumption). But I’ve also found that, for me, the ideal result is people not taking the permanence of my decision too seriously, in that they will go along with it (convenient) but not fixate on it (less pressure). It’s a tricky one. Good luck!

    • @joesdad Ya, less pressure would be nice! I do wonder if my husband will think this is all a bag of lies. That I’ll just go back to the drunk I’ve always been… that’s what’s got me all worked up. That he’ll have little faith in me. On the upside of that though, he has not brought any alcohol home since I quit. Not that hes a real big drinker, but would have a couple a few nights a week. So I guess there’s hope in him for me.

  • joesdad posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    It occurred to me yesterday – as I’m sure it has for many people – that alcohol has a strange inverting effect on your cause-and-effect logic, and that many statements about why I drink could be turned round to be more truthful, at least if you consider them in terms of alcohol’s long-term effects. For instance, ‘I drink because I’m stressed’; ‘I drink because I’m nervous’; ‘I drink because I feel low’; ‘I drink because I’m feeling sluggish’; ‘I drink because I’m bored’, etc. etc. Maybe that’s obvious but it really made me think – could just be my Day 3 brain in a state of confused philosophical excitement! Seemed useful to be able to turn it on its head though, and has made me start asking myself ‘Why do I want a drink?’ then turning the answer round each time I feel a craving.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Great stuff, well done!

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    thanks all for your encouraging words. It’s such a huge help to feel there are others dealing with this stuff too. @laurali I get what you mean about creating a comforting routine to replace the booze, I will get that started asap. @tgrim pleased to hear TNM has been useful for you, I’m making steady progress through it and I do feel it’s helping. @liberty I completely agree with what you say about kids noticing everything, whether or not they “show” it. I just want to be a better dad and partner and ultimately to escape the thought that I can’t stop doing something I really don’t want to do. It’s such a powerless feeling and I resent the amount of energy and brain space it’s taking up. Thanks again to all of you and good luck – you’re all very inspiring.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    @laurali really interesting and helpful to read your words. It’s very motivating to hear from parents or kids of parents saying they wish they’d done/had things different. I’d love to be able to say to my kids when they’re old enough to understand: “I gave up when you were young” and hope that could in turn give them inspiration. I definitely need to change my view of what alcohol means, just not sure how that can be done. I find I can tell my rational self all the right things but something much deeper is still lurking ready to hijack the controls when my resistance is low. Congratulations to you on Day 6 and thanks for your words.

    • @joesdad Everyone has their own way to help make it happen. This is my evening routine now. (I have not told my husband that I quit yet, but I’m certain he has noticed I don’t have a beer glued to my hand from the moment I get home from work every night) This is going to sound really corny, I read it in a book and may have already mentioned this once before on this site, but “Hot Chocolate Has MAGICAL powers” when the “Beer Bitch” starts to really get in my head and try and convince me that a drink is needed or one will be OK…. I make a cup of hot chocolate (partly because it makes me remember being a kid, all warm and safe and happy at grandma’s house in the winter, and partly because it’s sweet and helps fill that sugary need) I run a bath, put on my tunes (kinda loud lol) and relax, reflect and think about why I’m staying sober and taking this time helps me get me closer to bedtime, and past the cravings. I am also following up with some Valerian Root, and herbal supplement, to help me relax for sleeping. Most of those ideas I got here, hope some can help you.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    thanks @sansa I will consider therapy this time if I find I need extra help.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    @Jesss it’s very easy for anyone to say this but you will need to move on. Apart from the mistaken text, you say “He has a habit of lying. Especially about women”; “i caught him inviting women to meet him years back”. But you describe him as your “best friend”. You probably can see that those things don’t seem compatible. Nobody needs a lying best friend. It will be hard to move on but, like the quitting drinking, you know it’s the best decision. Apologies if this seems too blunt, but similarly your comment to me about having a sober dad really hit home as it is the painful truth.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    @Jesss thanks for your comment. Doing the right thing for my kids is so much a part of why I want to do this but also so painful an admission that I almost can’t bear to acknowledge it. My drinking has never caused any dramatic issues in our family life, but I don’t believe any amount of drinking is without its effects, so I know that when my patience is being tested (and failing), which young kids are amazing at, it’s failing quicker because I drink, and that in itself is enough for me to feel I’m short-changing the children. You’re absolutely right that they deserve the gift of my sobriety. Thank you for saying so. It’s the kind of straight talking I need to hear.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    thanks @whynot, those are wise words. Until I change my view of alcohol I guess I’m just waiting for my resolve to weaken again and my deeply held (erroneous) beliefs about alcohol to return to the surface. Have gone back to reading This Naked Mind again so maybe that will help with the rewiring I need.

  • joesdad posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    Hello. I don’t really know what to say as I failed in my last attempt to give up alcohol late last year, despite all my optimism and apparent resolve, and couldn’t face owning up to it on here. I’ve since become a dad again and have finally once again built up what feels like the necessary determination to give it another try. I’ve armed myself with the books/apps again, and of course this website, which gave me a real boost early on in my first attempt. But I feel a bit apprehensive about my chances this time. Last time I found that reading people’s stories as they took each sober day at a time was at first very inspiring and motivating. But for some reason, as I continued with my attempt – despite experiencing some of the benefits – I started to feel demoralised as I read of people struggling way farther along the path than I had made it. It seemed to me that it was taking every ounce of effort for me to stay sober each day, and yet all I had to look forward to was more of the same struggle, weeks, months or even years down the line, according to people’s experiences. The idea that I would have to maintain that level of effort for so long and still be struggling exhausted me and started to erode my resolve. Of course I know that the good days would undoubtedly start to outnumber the hard days eventually, but it was tough to convince myself, and I started to view what had been a support as a demotivating thing. I don’t really know how to get around that issue or how I will deal with it this time. Maybe others have felt like this as well. I suppose I just wanted to give myself the chance to try again and see if I could get a different result. Best of luck to everyone.

    • Welcome back @joesdad. My experience is that it does get easier. For me, the main issue was changing my beliefs about alcohol based on my sober experiences. If I continued to believe that alcohol made life more fun…or at least more bearable…then I’d be struggling harder. But I know I can have fun, be silly and playful, happy and hopeful, without alcohol. I’ve even found myself doing a little dance…sober!

      The path to sobriety is different for each one of us. As they say, your mileage my vary.

      • thanks @whynot, those are wise words. Until I change my view of alcohol I guess I’m just waiting for my resolve to weaken again and my deeply held (erroneous) beliefs about alcohol to return to the surface. Have gone back to reading This Naked Mind again so maybe that will help with the rewiring I need.

    • Omg i totally understand this @joesdad. I felt the exact same way. Like i couldn’t keep it up forever and it was just incredibly too hard. I even convinced myself relapse was inevitable so i might as well drink. And, i did. I don’t know what the answer is. I really think it is incredibly different for everyone. So many factors come into play. I am really thinking that success happens when we are truly ready. Maybe that is the factor that makes the difference. It’s hard…i know! Congrats on being a dad! I will say this….i wish i had a sober dad growing up. Love my dad to pieces but his drinking was incredibly hard to deal with. Giving your kids the gift of sobriety is priceless. Life changing for sure.

      • @Jesss thanks for your comment. Doing the right thing for my kids is so much a part of why I want to do this but also so painful an admission that I almost can’t bear to acknowledge it. My drinking has never caused any dramatic issues in our family life, but I don’t believe any amount of drinking is without its effects, so I know that when my patience is being tested (and failing), which young kids are amazing at, it’s failing quicker because I drink, and that in itself is enough for me to feel I’m short-changing the children. You’re absolutely right that they deserve the gift of my sobriety. Thank you for saying so. It’s the kind of straight talking I need to hear.

    • Hi Joesdad, totally get it! Reading your comment, I thought if we think of how many years we drank for no reason regretted it and felt demoralized about it and how hard it was to change, its not a surprise that when we don’t drink the same issues that drew us to drink are still there. It’s facing our impulses and what is behind them that may be an ah-ha moment. How about therapy? It’s great to have a real-time conversation with a professional. Just remember as I am trying to do too, change is never easy whether it is for the good or for the bad. The difference is you see the value of change. The past is over. Today is all we have and the hope of tomorrow. Keep the faith.

    • HI @joesdad for me, this is only the second time I ever actually made an attempt to quite the booze. (outside of two pregnancies, which were just no-brainer’s not to drink) All other efforts were just regretful hangovers or late night crying sessions on how bad it had become. I agree with @whynot, this time, I have changed my view of what alcohol means. How it does absolutely no good for anything for me. All it has ever caused me is a temporary fix or fun to a situation that would have been better done sober. My kids are now 14 and 17 and I’d give anything to go back and have a re-do, they deserved more than a tipsy or drunk mom most of their lives. I am fully aware that moderation is never going to be my friend. It just isn’t. I had to decide that I wanted to live in today, and be present. I have to choose one or the other, there is no in between for me. I’m not afraid of never drinking again anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I have a hard time trying to picture upcoming situations that always called for the drink, like date night or cookouts, but now I just back up and reevaluate and see it differently. I see it costing less, I see it with my boys smiles on thier faces, I see it not embarrassing myself with my words and actions. Best of luck Joesdad, you got this. And we are all here for you. Day 6.

      • @laurali really interesting and helpful to read your words. It’s very motivating to hear from parents or kids of parents saying they wish they’d done/had things different. I’d love to be able to say to my kids when they’re old enough to understand: “I gave up when you were young” and hope that could in turn give them inspiration. I definitely need to change my view of what alcohol means, just not sure how that can be done. I find I can tell my rational self all the right things but something much deeper is still lurking ready to hijack the controls when my resistance is low. Congratulations to you on Day 6 and thanks for your words.

        • @joesdad Everyone has their own way to help make it happen. This is my evening routine now. (I have not told my husband that I quit yet, but I’m certain he has noticed I don’t have a beer glued to my hand from the moment I get home from work every night) This is going to sound really corny, I read it in a book and may have already mentioned this once before on this site, but “Hot Chocolate Has MAGICAL powers” when the “Beer Bitch” starts to really get in my head and try and convince me that a drink is needed or one will be OK…. I make a cup of hot chocolate (partly because it makes me remember being a kid, all warm and safe and happy at grandma’s house in the winter, and partly because it’s sweet and helps fill that sugary need) I run a bath, put on my tunes (kinda loud lol) and relax, reflect and think about why I’m staying sober and taking this time helps me get me closer to bedtime, and past the cravings. I am also following up with some Valerian Root, and herbal supplement, to help me relax for sleeping. Most of those ideas I got here, hope some can help you.

    • i’m new to this sober life. I luckily found this sight and also the book The Naked Mind. I swear by it!!! I know that I wouldn’t have been able to shut my mind off without it. By half way through it already was working for me. I’m on day 48 and I’ve been drinking consistently for 32 years. My life is already peaceful and happy with very little to no internal conversations about alcohol. Keep trying different things and just don’t give in.

    • Thank you for your post @joesdad, it will help others. It’s different for us all. Yes, it happens when we’re ready, but how do we get ready? A subtle thing with no simple answer to fit all. Perhaps it’s worth considering that some people only post when they’re struggling. They might have 200 days of no triggers and post the one time they do.
      It does sound like a deeper change is it for you-as you say something deeper takes the controls. I utterly empathise on how demoralising & undermining that feels. But I’ve learnt too the piling in on myself in response was part of what kept me trapped in that loop.
      Anyway it’s great you are here to be curious with support. You have a lot of insight. I have faith in you. ?
      Yes, having a sober Dad would’ve been great. More than that, having a Dad who is genuinely present. It baffles me how parents think their kids don’t notice (not saying this is you). Kids register everything to do with their parents’ presence or checked-out-ness. Our young brains are wired to do that.
      It is hard though to learn different coping strategies-we wouldn’t all be here if it wasn’t. Great you are here.

      • PS : that question mark in the above post was actually a small heart when I posted from my phone…. *sigh* 😀

        • thanks all for your encouraging words. It’s such a huge help to feel there are others dealing with this stuff too. @laurali I get what you mean about creating a comforting routine to replace the booze, I will get that started asap. @tgrim pleased to hear TNM has been useful for you, I’m making steady progress through it and I do feel it’s helping. @liberty I completely agree with what you say about kids noticing everything, whether or not they “show” it. I just want to be a better dad and partner and ultimately to escape the thought that I can’t stop doing something I really don’t want to do. It’s such a powerless feeling and I resent the amount of energy and brain space it’s taking up. Thanks again to all of you and good luck – you’re all very inspiring.

    • For me a life time of failing to be able to moderate was worse mentally than thinking of a life time with out drinking. I am at 15 months AF and rarely think about having a drink. It is still a little awkward when people offer me a drink or talk about having a drink afterwards but that is only a momentary feeling. The thinking about getting my next drink or how I could drink and not fuck up my life was exhausting! You can do this and your life will be much better for it!

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months ago

    Hi @Daisy, congratulations, I’m on Day 10 too and have also had the headaches! Definitely agree about the sense of well being. Have to say my willpower seems to be wobbling a bit at the moment – keep getting invites from people who don’t know I’m off the booze and haven’t summoned the strength to tell them yet (guess I’m scared they’ll withdraw the invite), and because I’m far enough into the sober times my brain is forgetting the bad stuff associated with drinking, so I’m having to use all my resources to resist. Anyway, sounds like you’re doing well, good luck to you and have a great day.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Winner, congratulations on Day 70. A sunny Day 6 dawns here and I’ve survived Friday and Saturday night! Thanks for the encouragement, it helps a lot. Have a great day.

  • Winston Churchill is helping me out today: “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    @AuntBridge I was thinking about this yesterday, how I’d have to get used to the fact that there probably wouldn’t be a big breakthrough or A-ha moment (correct me if I’m wrong anyone!) and that in a way it would be the absence of unpleasant things (guilt, irritability, feeling rundown, foggy, listless, unimaginative, etc.) that would be the biggest reward, rather than the presence of something more tangible – at least at first. Quitting is playing the long game I guess, and it must require patience and stamina. 19 days is great, keep it up!

    • @joesdad I completely agree – and besides the big trap is the quick fix that my addicted brain is so used to – immediately intense mood alteration – even though it is rarely good and often just made me feel more lonely. Thank you for reframing that – I am going to look at the ‘absence of things’ – that is probably a lot longer list than I am considering. In fact, I am going to make one now!

      • If you feel up to it @AuntBridge please post your list of cons up top. It is helpful to ourselves and others on the site to bring our shame into the light and find we are not alone in this x

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @Agirl, glad to hear you enjoyed your sober outing – hearing that other people have managed it is truly inspiring. I felt no pressure to drink last night and didn’t! And I still enjoyed meeting my friend. Every successful sober occasion helps you look ahead and feel like a booze-free future is possible.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks for your insight @AuntBridge. I will take my time and know that the natural joy in little things will come back. It’s curious – I feel a determination and an optimism that hasn’t been there when I’ve previously tried giving up. Somehow it feels like the stakes are finally high enough to make me take it seriously.

  • I’m on Day 3… Meeting a friend I would usually drink with later. I have no intention to drink, but looking for info on the fear of being boring/bored while sober I came across something that has strengthened my determination even more: “sobriety is infinitely more subversive than drinking” (http://www.hipsobriety.com/home/sober-fears). Another eye-opening revelation and so very true in our culture. Bring on the witching hour!

    • Thank you for that! In early days articles like these really help reinforce our journey here.

    • @joesdad huge fan of Holly Whitaker! She’s the bomb – it really is subversive – I picture mummies with arms out blindly following what the marketers and society would have us believe – we must drink alcohol. I have a a tough time even identifying boredom – think that’s a start to say I’m bored – I don’t need to drink. Without trying I think you will naturally find things that you used to do that you enjoy – online research, reading a great book, exercise, napping, woodworking, knitting, cleaning, organizing, calling a friend, make a cup of tea, create a new replacment drink you love…

      • Thanks for your insight @AuntBridge. I will take my time and know that the natural joy in little things will come back. It’s curious – I feel a determination and an optimism that hasn’t been there when I’ve previously tried giving up. Somehow it feels like the stakes are finally high enough to make me take it seriously.

    • Interesting article! Thank you @Joesdad ……in my view it’s better to be boring & sober than a crazy drunk! On our sober journey we may lose some of our ‘drinking’ friends along the way but that’s not always a bad thing if being with them perpetuates the madness! In fact sometimes it’s vital! Day 3 is such a great achievement! Well done! You can do this xxx

    • I keep saying it’s a sober revolution and we are the badass counter culture. So much less boring than being like everyone else. I hope you have fun 🙂

      • Yes we so are the badass counter culture @kate1975!!!! I love that!!! Hey@joesdad– Ive just been away for a couple of days in a situation where I would normally get trolleyed- scary at first! I’m happy to report- I had a brilliant time! Turns out I am the same crazy gregarious dufus without alcohol. Ah- who knew! I also feel about 3 gazillion times better today than I have done after previous sessions like this. It’s worth it!!!!

        • Hi @Agirl, glad to hear you enjoyed your sober outing – hearing that other people have managed it is truly inspiring. I felt no pressure to drink last night and didn’t! And I still enjoyed meeting my friend. Every successful sober occasion helps you look ahead and feel like a booze-free future is possible.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @JR – it’s good to have something tangible to aim for. Congratulations on 1-1/2 years, fantastic! I’m on Day 3 but already feeling good (even optimistic about the weekend!) thanks to the support from you and others here. I’m halfway through Alcohol Explained and will add This Naked Mind to the list to keep me going. I’m more interested now than I thought I would be in the mechanics of it all. Thanks again!

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @islandone, I gave it to the neighbours! 🙂

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    @JR boredom is one of my biggest worries about quitting. I can feel very flat without the ups and downs of alcohol. It would never be a reason for me to keep drinking but it does feel daunting to think of a flat future (even if only temporarily flat), and a bit shameful that I need alcohol to prevent boredom when life is otherwise good. I’m wondering how long it takes after quitting for the natural joy to return?

    • @joesdad – boy do I get this. I started to NOTICE the change around 4 months…..but could be different for others. I believe it started happening sooner, but that is when I feel I actually could put a label on it. And now 1-1/2 years into my journey, it just keeps getting better! There is such a great explanation of this deep flat feeling in This Naked Mind book, and now that I understand how alcohol makes those lows even lower over time, I so want to protect this journey and really makes me think twice when a drinking thought comes through my head.

      Do I ever want to feel that low low again. Nope. Does not mean life is all roses, but it is just different.

      • Thanks @JR – it’s good to have something tangible to aim for. Congratulations on 1-1/2 years, fantastic! I’m on Day 3 but already feeling good (even optimistic about the weekend!) thanks to the support from you and others here. I’m halfway through Alcohol Explained and will add This Naked Mind to the list to keep me going. I’m more interested now than I thought I would be in the mechanics of it all. Thanks again!

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    @Jocord thanks for your message, it arrived just as the “witching hour” began… You’re right about night wakings being easier when sober, and irritability is one of the things I’ve felt most guilty and sad to watch develop in myself as alcohol has chipped away at me. There really is no excuse, but having found this site I’m feeling more optimistic than ever about beating it. Thanks again and congratulations on your 177 days!

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Tom4500, any advice from someone on 681 days is inspiring. Congratulations on your success. It’s very interesting to think of it as a morning/afternoon voice and to feel that the truth is in the morning voice. That has really resonated with me as I have always been a bit of a morning person. It’s as if when the energy levels start to dip, the willpower starts to crack and the evening stretching ahead feels daunting. But I’m hopeful for this evening since I signed up here this morning. Thanks again for the insight.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Congratulations on 66 days @Winner. Very inspiring and great to hear about your positive effects.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    @Winner given the wine away to my neighbours 🙂

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thank you all of you, I really didn’t expect so many supportive messages so quickly! It’s a great feeling and it’s making me feel more accountable for my actions. @Agirl I agree that thinking ahead is a great motivator. @Winner tipping the wine out is clearly a very good idea. @Trace I will check out Alcohol Explained, thanks for the recommendation. Already I think I’m going to succeed tonight, so thanks again to all of you.

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @geekgurl. It makes such a difference to have even one person say they understand the feeling, even though I know so many must. I appreciate it! Good luck with your work lunch tomorrow. Imagine the satisfaction and self-esteem boost if you can resist your boss’s pressure!

    • Thanks @joesdad. Having everyone on here to talk too is making me feel stronger so i really want to come back on here tomorrow to say I did it! If you find you are struggling later you should come back on and chat to everyone.

  • joesdad changed their profile picture 10 months, 1 week ago

  • joesdad posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Ravenscraig!

  • Hi, I’m new here. I’m going to try and get through this evening without beer or wine. My wife’s pregnant so off the booze completely, but there’s a few bottles of wine around the place from people coming over at the weekend. I find mornings and early afternoons are fine, but then there comes a point I can almost feel, sometime mid-afternoon, where the scales tip and I know I’m going to have a drink later. After that, my willpower is useless, especially as we head towards dinnertime/bathtime/bedtime with another day of work looming tomorrow. I despise myself for my weakness every day but the lure seems too strong to resist. I’ll try again tonight. Good luck to us all!

    • @joesdad I know the feeling all too well. I really hope you succeed tonight and feel happy with yourself in the morning!

      • Thanks @geekgurl. It makes such a difference to have even one person say they understand the feeling, even though I know so many must. I appreciate it! Good luck with your work lunch tomorrow. Imagine the satisfaction and self-esteem boost if you can resist your boss’s pressure!

        • Thanks @joesdad. Having everyone on here to talk too is making me feel stronger so i really want to come back on here tomorrow to say I did it! If you find you are struggling later you should come back on and chat to everyone.

    • I find it helps to “fast forward” to waking up the next morning guilty, nauseous, fuzzy headed, etc depending on how bad things got the night before. If you can remind yourself of that honest truth it may help. Distract yourself with ANYTHING!!!

    • Easiest solution tip the wine out and join your wife alcohol free. You honestly won’t regret it!

    • Hi @joesdad – there’s a saying that we all love on here – ‘nobody ever regrets not drinking’. Thing is, we all know about that soul-sinking recognition in the morning when we wake up and remember that we betrayed our best selves the night before. And we lie awake worrying about what we did (or didn’t) do that evening, or maybe about what we are doing to our bodies and minds. There is nothing as good as a sober morning!
      And boy do I know all about that mid-afternoon tipping point! Had it today. Had to say no no NO very firmly to that conniving beast.
      Good luck – make a decision that will make you smile in the morning!
      NB: a number of us on here have found Alcohol Explained by William Porter a game changer 🙂

    • Thank you all of you, I really didn’t expect so many supportive messages so quickly! It’s a great feeling and it’s making me feel more accountable for my actions. @Agirl I agree that thinking ahead is a great motivator. @Winner tipping the wine out is clearly a very good idea. @Trace I will check out Alcohol Explained, thanks for the recommendation. Already I think I’m going to succeed tonight, so thanks again to all of you.

    • @Winner given the wine away to my neighbours 🙂

    • Joesdad, your story mirrors mine. And there’s a lot of that here. Get used to the idea of quitting forever, and put that notion in the back of your mind while you do those first few days, then those couple of first weeks. Remember, the morning voice is the voice of truth. That voice that is now telling you that you HAVE TO quit drinking. And the afternoon voice is horseshit. It is the poisonous voice of addiction. The morning voice can soon be telling you how great you feel when you wake up, how much better everything is now that you’re free of alcohol. The morning voice is the voice of truth. 681 days now since I ended that cycle you described, quit forever, never relapsed, and I will never drink alcohol again.

      • Thanks @Tom4500, any advice from someone on 681 days is inspiring. Congratulations on your success. It’s very interesting to think of it as a morning/afternoon voice and to feel that the truth is in the morning voice. That has really resonated with me as I have always been a bit of a morning person. It’s as if when the energy levels start to dip, the willpower starts to crack and the evening stretching ahead feels daunting. But I’m hopeful for this evening since I signed up here this morning. Thanks again for the insight.

      • Ooh me too! Day 65 onwards forever! Yippee!!

    • Hi Joesdad! This is an awesome time to quit while your wife is pregnant! You’ll need to be available for those 2 a.m. feedings, sober and aware. Nightime awakenings are much less irritating when you’re sober! The afternoon time is what we call “the witching hour”. There are tips on this site to help you get through. You don’t have to power through to be sober. In fact that makes it harder. Be good to yourself, engage with your wife, and just let sober time build up.

      • @Jocord thanks for your message, it arrived just as the “witching hour” began… You’re right about night wakings being easier when sober, and irritability is one of the things I’ve felt most guilty and sad to watch develop in myself as alcohol has chipped away at me. There really is no excuse, but having found this site I’m feeling more optimistic than ever about beating it. Thanks again and congratulations on your 177 days!

    • Is it possible to get rid of the wine, @Joesdad? It’s much easier when it’s not around.

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