Day 1807 and my birthday today. My 5th sober birthday and a good day to reflect on my life. The biggest thing I have learned through my sober journey is how mindset, attitude, along with effort are the keys to changing your life. Here’s an example: On Friday I was talking with a neighbor about our plans for the weekend. I mentioned that Sunday (today) was my birthday. She asked about my plans. I said my hubby was cooking me salmon and I was baking a cake. She looked at me kind of funny and said, “oh, how sad you have to make your own birthday cake”. I replied that it wasn’t as I love to bake and will get a lot of joy out of it. She still looked at me like she didn’t quite believe me. But, so what. It’s all about mindset and attitude. This is what changed me from a long time drinker to a nondrinker. I changed my thoughts, worked on my attitude, put in the effort, and here I am…almost ready to celebrate 5 years of sobriety. Yes, saving the money I used to spend on booze is great, but…getting my life back…now that is priceless! 💕 💕 💕
Happy birthday Jo, and big-time congrats in advance on the upcoming 5 year. We’ve heard it said, it can take five years to get fully grounded, and now there you are. I’ll bet it went pretty fast. I’ll get there, but no hurry! Don’t want to wish my life away. 2 + years before I get there, and I KNOW there will be many little revelations along that road. Again, HBD & Congrats! And nice to see your name pop up again!
Hi, @noodle71 I am an introvert with INFJ traits. I felt AA was not a good fit for me. My husband on the other hand went and he is 15 years sober. He loved it!. We all need to find what works for us. You sound like you are doing all the right steps for your sobriety. Congrats on your 9 days!
Hi @jo14, you’ll know exactly where I’m coming from then! I suppose we’re all on our own unique path and there isn’t a single solution for any of us. I’m using a mish mash of resources, foods and drinks and special wonderful people, oh and some awesome online support, so far it’s working 😁
Day 1800. Time flies when you’re having fun. Living sober has been fun. If there is one main thing I have learned over these last 1800 days is that mindset is everything. Change your thoughts = change your life. It is never too late or too early to make a change. Living sober feels like my life is in focus. Yes, there are still the ups and downs, but the clarity of mind I now have is so much better than hidden under a haze of booze. In order to grow, I must deal with conflict, I must confront all my feelings, not just those I choose. True growth comes from facing my fears. Sobriety gives me that courage. Perception is a key component to gratitude and gratitude is a key component to joy. The sun will rise and set regardless of how I choose to spend my days. As Glinda, in the Wizard of Oz said to Dorothy: ” You’ve always had the power, my dear, you had to learn it for yourself.” Getting and staying sober is me taking back my power. I like it. 💕
Me too, reading these posts makes me believe it’s totally doable, sure lots of work to be done, but like my Grandad always used to say, you don’t get nothing for nothing, and hearing it’s so worthwhile fires up the motivation, thanks 💛
Hello! Day 1796 here. In less than a month I will be at the 5-year sober mark. Wow! It has sure been a journey and one that I am proud I decided to go on. Life is just so much simpler without the booze. No more worrying about when to start drinking, how much to drink, do I have enough booze, how to pace myself…on and on those thoughts went. I get dizzy just thinking about all those thoughts rolling around in my head. Now my one thought is…you don’t drink…so move on and enjoy your life. I can do this! Summer is in full swing here. Heading for a mini-vacation next week. Going to Sun Valley, Idaho next week. It’s been 20 years since we were there, my SIL is joining us. Sun Valley is a beautiful area so we are super excited to be going back. Wishing everyone a lovely sober day…we got this! 💕
@jo14 What a true inspiration you are! 5 years is incredible! Thanks for sharing, I can relate to so much you said, especially worrying about when to start, how much and do I have enough. So happy to not be worrying about that anymore! Enjoy your vacation!
Don’t think about the future…take it one day at a time. I know, it’s hard, but it really works. I set little goals for me when I started out. I was determined to do 3 months then once I achieved that, I told myself to go to 6 months. Then it was well, you made it to 6 months, how about going to 1-year? I achieved that and then I sat down and made a list of all the pros and cons of not drinking/drinking again. At that point, the pros of not drinking outweighed the thoughts of drinking again. So, here I am at almost the 5-year mark. And remember, as your days add up, it gets easier. You are still very early on your sobriety. Take a breath, list the benefits of not drinking, find ways to deal with your cravings. You got this! ❤️
One of my favorite quotes is: “It’s not your job to have others like you, it’s your job to like yourself.” Wow! Embracing this frees up so much headspace to live your life the way you want. Everyone has an opinion no matter what you do…so do what you want and make yourself proud. ❤️
I was just reading an article about how women say I’m sorry so much more than men do. The article stated we (all) should replace the sorry by saying, “thank you”. An example would be: If running a little late to meet someone, say thank you for waiting for me instead of saying, sorry I was late. This creates a more balanced social dynamic and gives us back our power. We are grateful instead of being apologetic…we aren’t asking someone feel sorry for us or we are not seeking reassurance. If someone criticizes you or gives you feedback on something, it’s better to say thank you for your feedback (especially if you don’t agree with it). This is much more empowering. I have been trying this out and have to say, it’s lead me to be more grateful. 💕
Hello! Today is day 1778 for me…still reaching for my 5-year mark. Thankfully, my cravings have gone away. Today, I will be attending the Boise Pride Festival…the 30th year! Super excited. I have been involved with getting Idaho to “Add The Words” to the Idaho Human Rights Act. I am going with some neighbors who all happen to be gay/lesbians. As a proud mother of a married gay son, I am passionate about protecting all humans from any kind of discrimination. Wishing everyone a good day or night depending on where you are. Keep working towards sobriety and finding the joys that come with sobriety. The struggle is worth it. Giving up alcohol makes me feel like a rebel…I don’t need that shit to feel strong…I am strong! I got my groove back and today it’s all the love. Love is ❤️
Hello! 👋 Enjoying our first June in Idaho. Lots of hiking in as the sun has come out more and more. Yay! Idaho is such a beautiful state. Anyone here from Idaho? I am on Day 1766. In 59 days I reach my 5-year mark. I am experiencing thoughts of wondering if I could drink again. I realize this is a common occurrence around anniversary dates. So, I am doing my work to stay sober and not let these thoughts take over. It is an ongoing process for sure, this sobriety. While my sobriety has certainly has gotten much easier and my life has gotten better in so many ways (yes, I made a list)…those cravings though! 😳 So, I am working on choosing my sober words wisely. I am sober. I love living my life sober. Sober is me. ❤️
So so good to see you stop by, jo14!!! 5 years coming up….just wow. I remember feeling kind of “blah blah blah” when I hit 2 years. Like I was expecting MORE from sobriety. Which was a silly thought because it has given me my life back…..as if that doesn’t count like at all….lol. But the thoughts are natural I think.
I had sudden strong cravings shortly after hitting 2 years (and other milestones). Like out of nowhere I’d think: “This is stupid. I clearly can’t have a problem if I am sober that long. I want my fun back and get smashed real nice.”
Nice work on nearing 5 years!!! Keep it going, as you know ‘this too shall pass’. Don’t know much about Idaho (kiwi here) but just finished Tara Westover’s memoir called Educated and it was based in Idaho. An interesting life, the countryside sounds nice but her story is quite an eye opener.
Big Congrats! I am in my 4th-year of sobriety and like you, I have put thoughts of ever drinking again off my radar. Living life sober is so wonderful that I have no plans to mess it up! Enjoy your special day! 😃
Hello! Checking in to see how everyone is doing. I am on Day 1739…in 87 days I will hit the 5-year mark. Yay! I am extremely stoked about this. The time has gone by faster than I ever dreamed…I was convinced that I would constantly be obsessed with staying sober. This has so not been my reality. Yay! Life is richer in every way now that booze is no longer on my radar. I love waking up sober…never gets old. Yay! Now I am free to focus on other things more. No more worrying if I drank too much, did I say or do something inappropriate? Such freedom. Yay! Life is filled with lots more of “yay girl, look at you.” One of the best things I have learned on my sober journey is to watch my self-talk. The words I say to myself hold so much power. Learning to keep my thoughts about myself positive, encouraging, kind, has been key in my sobriety. I can’t go back and change the past, but it’s not too late to change, I’m not too old to learn a new trick, not too old to have new dreams. My mantra: Be like a dog…wag more…bark less. 😆 Sobriety is my lifestyle now and it looks good on me. Take the chance, do the work, and never ever give up, as sobriety will give you way more than you ever thought possible. 💕
Hello! Here I am on Day 1718. Wow. For someone who drank off and on…mostly on…for over 40 years…this is something. I will be forever grateful in my heart for not giving up on myself. I love being free of the hold alcohol had over me. I am proud of being a non-drinker. Yes, it took a while for this shift in my thinking to become my reality. This I know for sure…I AM a non-drinker. This is my truth. In a little over 100 days, I will reach that 5-year mark of sobriety. It seemed so far, far away on my Day 1. When I started, I wasn’t sure how long my sobriety journey would be. I just knew I had to try one more time to get my drinking under control. I owed myself that much. I didn’t make any long-term goals. I listened to those before me and followed their advice. I heard over and over to take it one day at a time. This taking it 1-day at a time works. ~One day OR day one…You Decide~ ~It will get better.~ ~Anything can happen in one day.~ ~The future comes only one day at a time.~ 💕
Hello! Spring is in the air here in Idaho…finally! Loving the warmer temps for sure. Today is Day 1702 of my sober life. Wow! I am still humbled by that and proud of myself! Really looking forward to reaching my 5-year mark in August. When I started my sober journey, I never imagined I would be these many years sober. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been worth it. Life is better living it fully present. Yes, the hard times, well, they are just that…hard. No getting around the ups and downs of life. I will say, getting through them sober is difficult at first, then over time a funny shift happens, I started thinking…how the hell did I ever deal with tough things not being fully there? How did I think being sloshed was going to make things easier? Now on top of going through challenging times, I was dealing with hangovers. Geesh! Crazy what alcohol can do to the thought process. I am here to tell you…living sober is so freeing. Yes, it is hard, especially in the beginning, but it truly does get easier, as those sober days add up. Wishing everyone a day filled with whatever brings you joy. 💕
nice to hear from you again, Jo. Hope Idaho is treating you well! Your story is an inspiration to those starting out, as I see that another 4 months is a given for you. And yet, we remember how great it felt to just get to that one month milestone. How quickly things can change for the better!
Hello! 1683 days sober. Yay! We have been back in our house for 8 weeks now. Yay! Today we are starting a landscape project on front and back yards. Yay! My brain/eye MRI came back clear. Yay! I am living and loving my sober life. Yay! Really looking forward to Spring and making it thru our first winter in Idaho. Yay! Lots of yays right now. I’ll take it! It really is all about mindset and changing one’s perspective. Now, I just need to apply this to my last frontier…food! It is still so up and down. I do remind myself that eating too much, the wrong kind of foods is better than drinking, but… I actually reached out to a dietitian about all the current diets in favor right now along with the intermittent fasting buzz. Trying to see what would be best for me. She recommended that I eat 3 meals spaced around 4 hours apart and if needed, 2 small snacks with protein/carbs/healthy fat. Oh, and to go 12 hours from the last food of the day to the next day. She said this is the best way to keep blood sugar regular and avoid those ups and downs which is hard on the body. So far, (only 2 days 🙂 at this point) it seems to be very doable. Trying for a lifestyle change here and one that I can actually stick to! Living sober is such a gift and I treasure it every single day. Hope everyone is doing well. Sending lots of good wishes to everyone! xxo
Yay! Good news all around. I have been doing intermittent fasting, 16:8 for a couple weeks. Easy for me even with an odd schedule as I travel for work. I am pretty flexibl with it, as in if something comesnup, I extend my eating window. Had me alo t more aware of the food I choose to eat, and I feel like it is really a lifestyle rather than a diet. I’m amazed at how easy it feels, to be honest. Christi are how things progress for you, so let us know!
Hi Jo! Quite a few of us tackling the food issues. I am thrilled to have found the ketogenic way of eating. I am melting away, back to my teenage shape, with fabulous food-no-hunger, and miracle of miracles, barely any sugar cravings. 33 weeks now, looking good if I say so myself. Need a few new trousers though, lord, bagginess is not good. Also reading Mosely and Dr Fung on the fasting business – I love fasting, but not when working, simply too stressful and can be too mood altering for me. It is meant to be very different if one is already in ketosis, body used to burning up fat. Soon… With aging and health scares, fasting seems absolutely necessary – autophagy 🙂 love that word. Keep in touch xxx
Like @robynb I have been doing the 16:8 and generally find it pretty easy (I never was a breakfast fan anyway). In my eating hours I do my best to stuff in nutrients. Mostly eating vegan at the moment but not too strict on the rules. Have some treats most days – seems to be working. I am snoring less like a warthog and less aches and pains, the weight is coming off slowly slowly and I am being patient and kind with myself. I lost 4 kgs when I stopped living on wine, but put it all back on again in the following months. But instead of watching the scales I am just focusing on healthy eating and walking, walking, walking when I can. Be gentle with yourself x
congrats on 1683 days, amazing and yay!!!!!!!! love that you are in idaho. i lived in montana for a time and loved it. i have a food issue right now, I am going to have to figure it out. if i ate three meals per day that consisted of whole food and a snack or two when necessary, i would be fine. just have to hold out hope i will stick to it some day. be well.
Here it is…1,655 days sober. Wow. Life is humming along. I am enjoying living in Idaho way more than I thought I would. We have snow! It’s cold! How can I like this? I have always gravitated more to the warm, hot temperatures. Give me a beach and I am happy. My, my, how things have changed. Long underwear is now my new best friend…hahaha! 🙂 Today we are going up to a ski area to snowshoe…haven’t done that in over 10 years. Wish me luck! Living sober is how I am and how I live my life. No worries about drinking too much, hangovers, wasted time…that part of my life is done and dusted. Off to the snow trails! Keep fighting for the sober life as it is so much more rewarding and fun…trust me…it is!
Hi Jo, so good to see your name pop up again. I hear you on those long undies, I have nine of them I think, and they get used from October through April. Wasn’t that way when I was younger. I guess this is what we do when we get together with old friends, we talk about underwear. Hey, you started it.
Today is 1627 days without alcohol. In 199 days I will reach the 5-year mark. Wow! It still humbles me. I am proud, amazed, grateful for not giving up on myself. See, I knew for a long, long, long time that alcohol was no friend of mine. Yet, I kept on going back as it seemed easier, familiar, always there for me. Change is hard. Breaking habits are hard. Life is hard. It takes courage, bravery, strength to change. But…it can be done. I read that it takes at least 66 days to change a habit. Hmm, all I know is that changing something you know is not serving you, but you crave it, is challenging to say the least. I know that quitting drinking was the best decision I ever made for myself. I took responsibility, I owned it, I changed. So, as I begin this new year, the year I will reach that 5-year sober mark, I am going to rejoice in my new sober life. I really can’t imagine my life any other way. As this new year unfolds, I will breathe in all the blessings of this life of mine. It’s good, isn’t it? this life, this living I say to myself. There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy in this life of mine.
We have a friend who is deathly allergic to all seafood, when we go out to eat with them, no one at the table can order seafood. I too love well-cooked salmon, thankful to have a husband that knows how to cook it perfectly!
Hello from Boise, Idaho, USA. It is a cold morning with some lightly falling snow…very pretty I have to admit. Such a huge change from Arizona! 🙂 . We are back from our trip to NewYork City. We had a wonderful time being all together. We saw 2 Broadway plays – Frozen & Waitress – both so good! We got our yearly “kids” Santa picture taken with the original Macy’s store on 34th Street…this was year 30!! Love my adult kids for humoring their momma. We also saw the new Mary Poppins movie where, unfortunately, I slept thru most of it, and it wasn’t from drinking! The best part of our trip, we were so busy that the thought of drinking never even entered my thoughts! Yay! Huge victory! I did eat my way thru the days though…good thing we walked everywhere. The pastries in Little Italy, oh my! Good thing I packed my stretchy pants! Eating pastries every day was so much more fun and satisfying than drinking would have been. Trust me…those pastries though… 🙂 Now it is almost time for a new year. I like to pick 1 word for the year to help guide my intentions. This year I picked the word FOCUS. This is the year I will dig deep and focus on what truly brings me joy. I want to live more from intention and less from habit. I would love to hear if anyone also does this and what your word is. A brand new year is almost here. A new beginning…365 days of blank pages for each of us to write our story. Wishing everyone a new year filled with all the things that bring you joy! Love, peace, joy, and hope…bring it on 2019…I’m ready!
Hi there @jo14!!! You sound upbeat and happy and I like your word for 2019 – focus!!! We could all benefit from keeping it simple with one goal and not overwhelming ourselves with too many aspirations. Glad you have had great times and travels with your family!! Waitress is on my list of shows I can’t wait to see!! And the Evan Hanson one looks great too. Have a wonderful day! Xox
NYC sounds like it was fun and how fabulous that you enjoyed it all sober. I love your word for 2019. Mine is DISCOVERY. now that I’m comfortable with my sobriety (although I never want to say “I’ve got this”) I want to discover who I am, what I’m capable of, and all the possibilities sobriety brings. Happy New Year Jo.
Liking the new spiffy site…quite fancy! Thanks for the warm welcome back, much appreciated. So many changes in my life…a big one is…we have moved to a new state. We now live in Idaho! Anyone on here from Idaho? We are adapting to a big weather change…we have snow! It is nice to be living where there are true seasons. I just gotta get through winter…hahaha! We got lots of new warm clothes and snow boots. It is pretty with the snow, but I will be glad when it warms up a bit more. We are dealing with a major house situation and have been living in Airbnbs for the last 6 1/2 weeks…in our 3rd one…we have 4 more weeks to go. We had just moved into our house (lived in it 6 weeks) when a part on the dishwasher malfunctioned and caused a flood. It’s amazing how much damage water can do. We are coping, it’s been so stressful though. I really wanted to be at my house for the holidays. But, we are going to New York to be with our boys…our first New York Christmas! It will be nice to get away from our housing disaster and have our family all together. With all the life changes, I realized I was allowing more and more thoughts of, oh, I could probably have a drink once in a while to creep back into my mind. Not good! This Saturday I will be attending a ladies neighborhood party. No one knows I don’t drink, so I will have to deal with how to approach the situation. I know there will be lots of wine. I can do this! I knew it was time to come back to this lovely community and build up my commitment to staying sober. I know living my life sober is the best life for me. I know this! Together we are stronger. It’s good to be back.
*** This holiday season I will approach it with GRATITUDE and a deeply rooted HOPE that every day will teach me something that allows me to continue to grow and stay sober.
Welcome back! Oh, those floods. We had 2 after 15 years in our house. What a mess and so stressful. Good for you reminding yourself you don’t drink. Hmmm, the party with the new neighborhood ladies…normally I would say just introduce yourself as a non-drinker, but in the midst of new women who drink there are immediate assumptions. Are you ultra-religious? An alcoholic? Very conservative? Judgemental? Perhaps you can just say your on arthritis medicine and can’t drink. Something chronic and socially acceptable so you never have to make an excuse again. If you knew them, I’d say just be yourself and make a throw away-wine doesn’t like me anymore. Enjoy New York and the lights!
Nice to see you back, Jo. I could tell the story of how a dishwasher leak led to a bathroom remodel, but it’s a long story. I’ll just say, water made the Grand Canyon. I think I’ll go check all my caulk.
Hi @jo14!! Idaho has always been on my list of states to visit – looks so pretty (but yes, cold and remote!). Hope the house situation resolves soon and hooray for you for circling back for support. xox
You can do this @jo14, all that ugly, limiting old disappointment and the cramped days of feeling awful and hungover and less than your full self, the horrible sinking feeling on waking and the wash of shame as a permanent companion – all of that goes with ‘a drink or two’. Because we tend to just add another to that two. Just one more, cos I’m fine. And then we tend to have another the following night, as the first night was so pleasant and hey we’ve got this, we’re just moderating, we can stop, we did stop! Look how in control we are! We ‘deserve’ a break. But starting again, it’s just so easy. Too easy for all the crap to creep back into life. We deserve to be free of it.
Good to see you again @jo14! I always appreciated your enthusiasm. I know what you mean about connecting here to renew your commitment to sobriety. I try to check in once a day but work has been nutso lately so it’s every few days. Sorry to hear about the water damage. We had two flooded houses and omg the mess! Enjoy NYC over Christmas.
Hello @Jo14 nice to see you back here. I’d love one of those huge Idaho potatoes stuffed with all sorts of delicious things. It was one of my favourite meals when in America in the 80’s haha. Have a wonderful Christmas in New York. Tell the neighbour ladies Clarity is the new Black xx
Hello! How is everyone? I am back…still sober…4 years and 4 months. This holiday season is in full steam and for whatever reasons, my mind is starting to think I could have a drink here and there. Sooooooo, decided I would pop back on here…hope it’s okay! So much has happened since I have been on here, some great, some challenging, and some that brought great sadness. I am proud of myself that I have stayed sober. I have missed everyone. My quote for today is: I am the sky the clouds are what happens what comes and goes I am the sky
Hi @jo14, I’ve just popped back here too after a long time away… like you still sober. Nice to see you again. I realise when I come here how much I love and appreciate all the amazing people in this community. And yes, those “maybe just one” thoughts are persistent lies. Swat them away like annoying flies!
Hi @jo14 its great to see you. 4 years and 4 months is awesome… well done for staying sober through all lifes challenges! And it is SO GREAT that you have recognised those sneaky thoughts and come on here for some support and a reality check. Xx