• Lucy posted a new activity comment 1 day, 21 hours ago

    Your not boring lol far from it.. yes that arsehole drinks cider every night lives with his landlady and does fuck all with his life.. so your right about jealousy.. thanks for replying to me , much love.. where abouts in America are you @jmtn? Xx

    • I’m in Boulder, Colorado. Mountains are my happy place, so it’s a good fit. 🙂 How are you doing today? @lucy

  • JM posted a new activity comment 2 days, 1 hour ago

    Hi again @jmtn! Lucky you, living in Boulder. I’m going to google images of Steamboat Springs right now – wow, what a paradise. I live in Toronto. We’re having a hot, beautiful summer. That’d be fun to meet, if I make it there next summer. I like that our screen names are so similar. : )

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 2 days, 2 hours ago

    Love it @jmtn. To have in the flesh understanding and support even for a moment.

  • hikermom posted a new activity comment 2 days, 7 hours ago

    Thanks @jmtn. Congrats on 31 days! I haven’t asked my doctor much more than for bloodwork and ultrasound. As it was, she thought I was overreacting since my body is in good shape from hiking and yoga (externally). But my insides? She cant see that! She had no idea I ever had a problem. I am likely going overboard but I’ve read stories about people who gave up alcohol getting diagnosed years later with cirrhosis. I relate to your fear about cancer and brain damage, but especially to the joy of hiking without having to sweat it out for the first few miles! Hangover hiking was a norm for me! Mountains are still my favorite place to be, but so much better clear headed!

    • I relate to all of that! @hikermom On the outside, my doc thought I was in good shape because of hiking, yoga, running and cycling. Good point though…I hadn’t heard of people being diagnosed with cirrhosis years later after stopping drinking. I understood that it would stop in its tracks if drinking stopped. I’ll look into that more. At this point, the best we can do is be as healthy as we can be and be the best parent we can be. Worrying can’t help us. I have to ask you something because my husband was recently diagnosed with anxiety…have you seen a therapist about anxiety? I hope you don’t mind me asking. I wonder if it could help you calm the worried part of your brain down? Just a thought to throw out there! Hugs from Colorado!

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 3 days, 1 hour ago

    congrats, @jmtn.

    • Thanks @kitten 🙂 I just checked out your story. You hit a year SOON! That is so awesome. Any fun plans to celebrate?

      • yes, love that i am hitting a year soon. I plan on just a massage and some relaxation, calm, peace and a long walk. the photo on your profile looks like the flat irons. The other one looks like st mary’s glacier. i used to live in boulder some time ago. enjoy your mountains. they never get old.

  • Lucy posted a new activity comment 3 days, 7 hours ago

    Yes those thoughts creep in for me to @jmtn.. I had a thought today that its Wednesday and a later start tomorrow so i could drink and get pissed.. my always thought on a Wednesday afternoon.. but I’m retraining my brain to shut it out.. sound beautiful where you are though who needs booze ! X

    • Thanks for sharing @lucy. It’s hard to retrain those old habits, isn’t it? Great job working hard on it though. What did you chose to do yesterday afternoon instead? It is beautiful here. Cutting out booze has allowed me to enjoy the gorgeous outdoors even more than I had been the last 5 or so years. And the high I get from a run along a mountain river or a hike surrounded by high altitude wildflowers is million times better than a dulled out alcohol buzz…and lasts a hell of a lot longer! xox

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 days, 10 hours ago

    Minor glitch @startingagain, as you ARE starting again! Yep, I get it though. Sucked all sorts to see my number go from 127 to 1 but hey, it’s not a race and we don’t lose what we’ve gained in that time. We learn how awesome life is sober and then just do our best to keep it that way. Chin up. Forward march 🙂 Oh, and everything that @jmtn just said!

  • JM posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    Hi @jmtn! Congrats on 30 days! Lucky you, being in Colorado for the summer – do you live there or are you visiting? I’ve been sober for more than 4 years, and I still have those thoughts once in a while. But it’s easier to swat away like a pesky fly. I know that one would become 1000, and I would have deep regrets. Fantastic work on one month sober!! xo

    • @jm “swat away like a pesky fly” 🙂 I like that. Awesome about 4+ years sober! Well done. I appreciate you sharing your perspective. I live in the Boulder area and love it. This week I “had to” go to Steamboat Springs for work. I stayed an extra night to hike and relax in the mountain air. So gorgeous up there right now! Let me know if you ever get to Colorado…I’m happy to give tips or meet up! Where are you located?

      • Hi again @jmtn! Lucky you, living in Boulder. I’m going to google images of Steamboat Springs right now – wow, what a paradise. I live in Toronto. We’re having a hot, beautiful summer. That’d be fun to meet, if I make it there next summer. I like that our screen names are so similar. : )

  • LeslieLily posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    @jmtn Well done!! I have found that one my very worst days so far, treating myself to something delicious has been a marvelous cure. So glad for you, congrats on day 25!!

  • Lucy posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I hear you @jmtn.. yesterday and today have been the worst so far..lets keep posting because we need all the support we can get at this stage.. and we will not drink!! Love to you.. xx

  • AprilsFool posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Way to play it @jmtn! 25 days and you knocked it down! Good for you!

  • LeslieLily posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @jmtn I was actively involved with my kids while drinking, but I was living with this CONSTANT feeling of guilt when I would be doing projects with them while chugging back malt beverages and always making sure not to get “too” drunk before my husband came home. Same when my husband would travel for work – I would be just responsible enough to not be “too drunk” while being the lone parent in the house at night, and then would have intense guilt the next day for drinking at all while caring for them, knowing that at some point they would be old enough to catch on. What a huge relief to know that I am 100% in control and competent and can enjoy time with them and know they are always safe and secure with me. Definitely one of my biggest motivators.

  • JR posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @jmtn – power visual for me and stuck with me. Even though I am now “reading” it again through audio, I am glad I saw that visual with the hard copy book.

    • @jr It really stuck with me, too. I’m thankful we have so many helpful books to refer to right now.

  • LeslieLily posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    @jmtn Ah! I didn’t even think of that! Good recommendation, thank you! (I also am always wanting to go to bed early at night but I don’t see that as a bad thing, tbh – keeps me out of trouble!)

    • @aprilsfool Good point on the potassium! Alcohol totally messes us up in so many ways…I’ve been learning so much through the books I’ve been reading. I’m trying to have a healthy diet, too, but it just wasn’t cutting it.
      @leslielily Nothing wrong with early bedtime! Keeps me out of trouble, too. Weirdly enough, I have enough energy to crank on some needed chores tonight. First time I’ve been able to stay up and be productive in quite a while!

  • AprilsFool posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Thats very good information @jmtn! In my case with the leg pains, it occurred to me that I was drinking extraordinary amounts of water – and therefore peeing all the time. One of the first signs of low potassium is leg cramps … duh! I immediately began upping my potassium via my diet. I’m sure that did the trick. Just as I’m sure the B will help your fatigue. Damn! Alcohol sure wrecks havoc! So glad you found that out. It will make being sober even happier.

  • JM posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Congrats @jmtn!! 🎉🏄

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Sounds a great idea @jmtn

  • LeslieLily posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @jmtn has it right – there are all the exact things I did to finally commit to getting AF. And so far it’s working. Every time I’m really craving, I come on here and read, read, read. It really helps.

  • Lucy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hi @Michael6 everything @jmtn has just posted is exactly the same as me I’m 3 weeks in and I really needed to get sober. I was always a mess but a functioning mess, my family suffered but mostly I did to. This Naked Mind has totally switched how I look at alcohol now it is nothing but poison.. in 3 weeks my life has changed I’m fair happier .. You can do this.. vent on here as much as you like we all have bad days but there is not one problem a drink will solve believe me… x

  • Such a fun 4th of July celebration yesterday! We’re in the mountains of Oregon visiting family for a wedding tomorrow. Lots of get togethers and lots of drinking. I observe it but don’t have any pangs to join in. I quickly play it forward and that gives me the answer I need to stay away. There are many in our group who are having a brutal morning today as they started quite early yesterday. I’m up enjoying hot coffee and a view of the mountains. We’ll tackle a 7 mile hike today – maybe I can then whittle myself into the dress I plan on wearing to the wedding tomorrow. Haha! So so happy to be sober. It’s the only way. How are you doing today @jmtn?!! Peace all!

    • Sounds like such a lovely weekend @freedom1025! Enjoy your long hike today and looking beautiful in that dress tomorrow! 😊 I’m doing well! Thanks for asking. I enjoyed food and NA drinks yesterday, and observed friends being affected by their alcohol consumption. I played it forward and was so happy to have had a sober 4th. Not only did I enjoy seeing the kids have fun setting off our fireworks, but I was present to help my husband prep for our backpacking trip we’re about to head off to do today, and I feel great this morning. It’s also nice to not care about lugging booze on a two night backpacking trip! Who needs that added weight to carry in?! Hugs to you. ❤️

    • Sounds like a great trip. 7 mile hike, wow. My old hips hurt just thinking about it. Have to get back to the gym. Too bad there is so much focus on alcohol at these things, there is in my family, too. We’ve learned better.

    • Ohhh loving this so much!!! Have so much fun hiking and enJOY that cup of joe. Much deserved.
      I imagine it is so very beautiful there….and a wedding….You will look radiant and healthy and others will be envious of you not having a hangover.
      High five!!!!

      oxxoxo

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    @jmtn I started with smaller goals 30 days, 60 days, 90 days and I find it really helped. Keep going you are doing great.

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    congrats, on getting through something that was uncomfortable. it is all part of the new journey, being uncomfortable. produces growth. be well, @jmtn

  • whynot posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    wow! This is some good stuff, @jmtn. I think I’m sort of in a similar spot right now, except before the growth part. So I’m grumpy. Thanks for sharing.

    • I totally get being grumpy, @whynot. I’m glad you thought it was some good stuff. I just felt that I needed to share here, where we all can understand what’s going on to some degree or another. Growing pains are painful though! Ugh. I just have to remember that it’ll pass. I guess it’s nice to not just be drinking away my frustration.
      I just saw that your knee is having issues. No fun at all. Hang in there. I hope the doc can find a solution for you soon! xox

  • Bisok posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    @jmtn I like the thought that drinking today steals tomorrow ‘s happiness, because it does.

  • freedom1025 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    That was one of my go to podcasts in the early days. I would cry when I’d listen to the stories and know I wasn’t alone. Soberful is another one I’m hooked on currently. I’m also going to check out the one @jmtn suggested

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Thanks so much @jocord and @jmtn! I’m very relieved to be where I am at today. No longer fighting nor taking issue with alcohol. The problem simply has been removed. Your support means the world to me. xoxoxoxox

  • AprilsFool posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Thanks @JM @Lucy @Winner @jmtn @jocord @DennyD. It’s the other end of the day now. I’ve been trying not to dwell on any of it too much and just move on. I really appreciate your input, support and encouragement. I guess I just have to grow thicker skin to let some of this stuff roll off me. I am so grateful for all of you. I really don’t know if or how I’d ever do this alone. Much as things can suck some times, it’s definitely better dealing with life sober. Xox.

  • freedom1025 posted an update 4 weeks ago

    @jmtn how’s it going today? I know the weekends can stretch out sometimes and we used to fill it with booze. Not anymore!! 😊 lots of time now to get stuff done or just out your feet up and enjoy a good book.

    • Loving my spare time now with a passion!

    • Thanks for checking in @freedom1025 🙂
      It’s been going well. I’ve been exploring in Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks this weekend with my family, so been keeping busy! I do know what you mean about weekends and getting used to filling it in other ways. There have been a few times this weekend where I would have usually drank, but it wasn’t too hard to not. And I felt so much better for it. Glad to hear @heidi19 and @andian enjoy what you described. How are you doing?

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Hi @freedom1025 and @jmtn I will hook the two of you up by email now x

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    i have read and experienced that you just do anything you can to make it t0 90 to 100 days. whatever it takes not to pick up that drink, @jmtn. And, the physical changes you go through that first few months, they keep on coming, yellowing of eye gook goes away, yellowing in corner of eyes diminish, you feel a bit foggy, but realize that you must have really been off with constant hangovers, you start thinking for yourself, not taking the easy way out so you can get back to your boozing, no being sick from booze, i mean wow. is there anything better. you will experience your own shifts in your own time, but it is said to go in the order of body, mind, spirit in order of repair. i am heading up on one year and still working on body, but feel my mind getting stronger and stronger. i cannot say enough for being AF. best. don’t pick up the drink. it is that simple and it is that hard. just think about one day, hour, second at a time. forever scares me, too.

    • jmtn replied 1 month ago

      Thank you @kitten !!! That awesome you’ve done it for so long! Keep on going! I’ll do the same and remember what you said. 😊

  • JudyB posted an update 1 month ago

    @jmtn well done getting back on track! The thing I like best about it is feel like I’ve found this new secret that’s hidden in plain sight haha and I’m wondering why everyone isn’t into being sober! 😂😂😂

    • jmtn replied 1 month ago

      😂

    • I’ve had that thought before about the new secret, as well as the thought that it turned out to be so simple, just STOP drinking. Not that it felt simple when I was struggling, but that’s what it amounts to.

  • freedom1025 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hi @jmtn. I had tried many times in the past to quit drinking and was not successful. My longest stint had been 9 months and during that time (I now realize) I was white knuckling it. I was what you would call a dry drunk (although I was not familiar with the term at that time). Essentially my approach was pure willpower and when I’d go out with friends, I was completely resentful that they were having fun drinking and I was abstaining. You can probably guess how that ended – I went back to drinking.
    My true recovery journey began on Sept. 15, 2016. I woke up that morning, hung over again, and just completely sick of feeling like a slave to booze. Unlike my previous Day 1s (and there were MANY) I started to read and listen as much as I could to sober podcasts, blogs, sober memoirs. And it was at that time that I learned alcohol is one big, fat liar. It makes you think that you can’t possibly have fun without drinking. Once I fully embraced how ridiculous that concept was, it set me free. I started to focus on all the benefits of sobriety … the physical changes like clearer skin and eyes, I lost the red bloat in my face, my headaches virtually disappeared , and my sleep drastically changed. I used to regularly wake up at 2 am and not go back to sleep.
    And beyond the physical changes, were the changes to my soul. I started to respect myself again, my actions of not drinking were now in alignment with who I wanted to be as a person. I just felt balanced and at peace. So all of those things made me see the light that I wasn’t missing out on a thing by not drinking. Just the opposite … I was gaining so much!
    I’d be happy to be your accountability partner. @mrs-d can hook us up via email if you’d like. I’m located in Chicago. Where are you?

    • jmtn replied 1 month ago

      Hi @freedom1025! You just gave me so much encouragement! I’ve been building up to listening to sober podcasts, reading quit-lit, checking in here, etc. and it’s been helping a lot. This makes me feel like maybe I finally have found my real Day 1 where I will begin to not think I’m missing out any more.
      I’d so much love to have you be my accountability partner!! I absolutely love that idea. I’m in Colorado. @mrs-d will you please hook us up via email?
      Thank you again, @freedom1025 !!!

    • That was so lovely to read,@freedom1025. Thank you!

  • Lucy posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hi @jmtn.. I’m back on day 6.. please don’t give up .. just keep it in the 24 hours.. this I didn’t do the last 7 times I got sober.. always planning on different dates… and forever… it is so over whelming … even keep it in the hour if you have to.. we can’t help this addiction.. it’s horrible yes .. but just being sober this week for me has been wonderful.. I also check in here everyday.. the support keeps me going…xxxx

    • jmtn replied 1 month ago

      Congrats on Day 6 @lucy ! Thank you for the advice. So glad you’ve had a good week. 😊 I’ll keep it up! 💪🏼

  • Lucy posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @jmtn thank you.. I will x

    • @Lucy, hang in there! You are doing great.

    • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

      Glad to hear your feeling better @Lucy! It’s amazing how quickly things start getting better without the booze! I’ve found that having plain yogurt with fresh fruit as my first meal helped my stomach tons. I’m not a fan of yogurt at all but It’s not so bad once you add the fruit and it really does help. Had read about this while looking for natural remedies. I tore up my insides pretty badly drinking and it’s taken a while for everything to settle down.

    • Lucy replied 1 month ago

      Thank you @Lee I will try this tomorrow.. the more healthy I can be the better. xx and thank you @Bridgett.. xxx

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Sometimes you need to find it out for yourself that it is not just one @jmtn – for some reason we all think we will be the one who can moderate. I did just one drink to celebrate my graduation 3 years ago, after making it to 6 months, and did just one that day, but by the next week I had another reason to have just one, then just two and actually I can’t see the point of JUST ONE, can you? I finally realised I can’t do just one, and now I am at 356 days AF – it’s worth it.

    • Congrats on 356 days! Almost a year! That’s awesome. And you’re so right…what’s the point of JUST ONE? It’s the alcohol voice in my head that sugar coats it and makes it sound so great, but I know it’s not. I’ve proven to myself too many times that I am not one that can moderate. Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate it!

  • gage posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @jmtn Hi why not try thinking of this in a different way. How about saying this is my first birthday since deciding to truly stop drinking…..yeah that great, a wonderful milestone I can plan to be sober for another year till next birthday and I’ll have given myself the absolutely best birthday present, a clear mind, a healthy body , a life in more control. I’ll toast myself with the nicest non alcoholic drink I can, I’ll make heaps of wonderful plans for my life. I’ll use my AF birthday as an affirmation of having a great life.

    • @gage Well said. Thank you. 🙂 I love the positive view of it. I’ll do that. I really appreciate you sharing those thoughts.

      • Yep I definitely play it forward ….. I struggle when I’m out in social situations and think just one BUT I know that what will follow later that evening or in the morning will be regret, frustration and disappointment in myself…… this then spoils the potentially good memories of a nice evening out . Make sure you order yourself a special non alcoholic cocktail or something …..or even if it’s tonic water/lemon lime bitters I always ask them to put it in a wine glass !! Otherwise they give you a tall glass and a bloody straw and I feel like a child 😂

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @jmtn You say yourself… “I’ve been failing at moderation, on-and-off binge drinking and generally just over drinking for the last 4-5 or so years, so what I’ve learned is that the thing to do is just not drink any more”. The “just one” thing is quite appealing, but in reality it is a trap. When did you ever have just one? Why will this have suddenly changed? or will it still be the case? You know the answer to this… it will still be exactly the same. When you have one drink it dissolves all objections to having another…. “Well I’ve done it now, I may as well carry on”. Then it’s straight back into the old routines… And how will you end up feeling about yourself?

    “Just one” is no use whatsoever to anyone accustomed to drinking regularly… that’s not how we drink… so it’s not true is it? Your brain is lying to you. “Just one” will not make you feel better, it will make you feel like you better have another. Call out the lie and let your brain know you’ve seen it and you’re not falling for that one any longer.

    • Thank you so much @DaveH. I needed that. I know everything you just said, but I really needed it to be told to me. All the research that I’ve been doing has taught me about the alcohol voice and I know this is it that is talking. And you ask “And how will you end up feeling about yourself?” Such a good question…not only is it my birthday and day 8 of a really great healthy feeling streak, but it’s Mother’s Day the next day and I don’t want to wake up feeling like I let myself and my kids down. I really appreciate your words. Thank you again! I hope you’re weekend is off to a healthy, awesome start.

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @jmtn!! So glad you are here. This is a wonderful community and provides so much support, advice, wisdom, and tips about sober living. Enjoy your time with those kiddos – these are the days that we will cherish forever xoxo

  • embracingsober posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @jmtn and welcome to this wonderful site, and welcome to the journey! 😊