• JJR posted an update 6 days, 16 hours ago

    Just reading all your posts. You guys that fight through the fear and come out the other end are truly inspiring. I love reading it. I’m still struggling as I just can’t seem to get any momentum going at all anymore. I’m going to keep trying though.

    • That’s all we can do – keep trying – take the good with bad – hope for more good Xx

    • Take one day at a time, you’ve got this even when some days feel impossible
      Soon there will be more good than bad,
      @jjr believe in yourself and be kind to yourself you are not alone

    • @jjr Never give up! Once you string some days together, YOU will gather some momentum. It’s so worth it-

    • @mmskinny is right @JJR. Make a plan and stick to it. Take a few days off if you can and allow yourself some healing time. I go to meetings. Not for everyone but it helps me immensely to have human contact with like minds and to clearly see that sobriety is possible. I get that here as well. Make being sober your top priority. I had to as I just couldn’t go on living drunk anymore, I simply couldn’t function. Momentum has to start somewhere, you can make it today and just stay focused on it.

      • Live with the low feelings, they don’t matter in the long run, horrible at the time but they are only feelings and they cannot touch your soul. Tomorrow they may not be there. Just. Don’t. Drink. Now. I wasn’t even able to think of an hour ahead some evenings I just promised myself no alcohol for the next 10 minutes. Our bodies take a while to clear toxins from drugs allow yours time and love it for what it is doing. 😺

    • Keep checking in and keep posting @JJR.. sorry your struggling I know it’s so hard but life is life and much better handled sober.. I never thought that, I thought I functioned well drunk but really its just all a lie.

  • JJR posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    I read many of your posts and am so envious. I just had a great dinner overlooking the water and yet my mind repeatedly thought about a drink. But I did not have one. It wasn’t terrible, just present. Makes me wonder about the path ahead. But Day 2 done. I just want the drinking voice to go away.

  • JJR posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    Not sure why I turn away from this site and support. I’m back at it, day 1. I need some momentum again.

    • Its really good that you’ve come back, it means you really want to do this. Keep in touch you know there is help here and remember day 1 today but day 2 tomorrow.👍

    • Your back and that’s what matters. Welcome back. Keep checking in! 🙂

  • JJR posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    I am just stuck in the yo yo. Back at day 2 after caving in on day 5 and then the “might as well start Sunday again”. One day it’s going to stick. Matt’s sober story was inspiring. His drinking sounds similar to mine.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    Thanks everyone. It’s just good to be back on this site. No judgement and just encouraging.

  • JJR posted an update 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    Hi all. I just got back from a business trip to Italy. I regret to say I am back on day 2. I should’ve checked in here during the trip but I failed. I held strong for a bit but my sleep was terrible over there and I eventually succumbed to the wine at a dinner event. Of course this did not help with the fatigue and here I am giving it another shot. I have nothing on my calendar for the next couple weeks and want to gain some momentum. Thank you for those of you who checked in on me and I am going to keep trying this. Whatever it takes.

  • JJR posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 4 down. Trying not to think too much about the days ahead but I’ll see you tomorrow day 5.

    • We will look forward to seeing you To, and don’t think to much about days ahead to except maybe have plans on how to avoid drinking

    • See you then JJR.

    • Where have you been? What have I missed? Do I need to check out your recent posts? I have been rushing and missing a lot 🙁
      Lovely to see you back

  • JJR posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Off to bed. Bring on another Day 4

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Awesome in many ways

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi and welcome. That’s very impressive on the 144 days.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Good for you. This is a great spot for support with no judgement. Welcome

    • Thank you, your message meant alot. Worse fear is failure. I am ready though. I have read your profile, kindred spirits. I feel your pain

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @tom4500, great to virtually see you again. And you as well @mari135. Kids are now 4 & 5 and are the best. Life is really fun and hectic but happy. I also didn’t realize you had checked in about me last year. I appreciate that very much. We moved out of state and through it all, just stopped coming to this site and I’ve missed it. I just got the kids down to bed since Momma had a church commitment tonight. No booze tonight so I guess I’ll be seeing yet another day 3.

  • JJR posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Checking back in after another few days of forgetting about it all. Day 2. Thank you to those who have offered advice. I’m just going to get back on here and try this again.

    • Day 2. I had a few of those.
      You hang in there. xoxo It really does get easier.

    • Just saw this, nice to see you again, JJR. So I read your post about hating drinking on Monday, but wondering why by Thursday…for me that was 8 AM and 5 PM. Apparently we have short term memory problems. They have a pill for that, it has some kind of jellyfish ingredient or something, but I can’t remember the name of it. How old are the children now?

      • Hi @tom4500, great to virtually see you again. And you as well @mari135. Kids are now 4 & 5 and are the best. Life is really fun and hectic but happy. I also didn’t realize you had checked in about me last year. I appreciate that very much. We moved out of state and through it all, just stopped coming to this site and I’ve missed it. I just got the kids down to bed since Momma had a church commitment tonight. No booze tonight so I guess I’ll be seeing yet another day 3.

  • JJR posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi Again. It has been over A year since I checked in here. Amazing to scroll through and see so many familiar names who are still rocking it. I’ve had some amazing life changes this last year which included A great out of state move with my family. Life has been pretty darn good in most areas, yet I have still had this alcohol anchor tugging at me. I am stuck between hating drinking on Monday and wondering what I was thinking by Thursday. I am worried about the long term health consequences. I think I want to get some help but not convinced I am an alcoholic. But this yo-yo is exhausting. So here I am wanting to see if the online community might be able to shed some wisdom. As always, thank you guys for what you do

    • Hi @jjr! Welcome back!! For me, although it is not easy to blaze the sober living trail, realizing that I am an alcoholic has been a relief. I don’t have to fight with myself in my mind anymore. I am seeing the promises of living an alcohol free life come true every day. Glad you are here xo

    • @JJR I recall you posting here a while ago. I think we’re a lot alike. I didn’t drink everyday, just on the weekends. But when I started, I couldn’t stop. I’d have a ton of regret on Monday then, by Thursday, was strategizing about how I would sneak drinks over the weekend (and get completely drunk both nights). If you’re posting here you probably know it’s time to stop. I stopped three years ago and everything is the same. I hang out with friends, go out to bars/parties etc. The only difference now is I don’t drink. And I thank myself everyday for finally stopping three years ago.

      I’m happy to help any way I can, just let me know!

    • Have you wondered whether this definition of alcoholic might be getting in your way?
      It did for me for a long time.
      Eventually I accepted that I just didn’t like the relationship with alcohol I had, regardless of what name anyone might give it.
      But, you know, people who can have one or two and not think about booze again for a week or weeks after – they aren’t posting here. The people who are posting here find their drinking behaviours are getting in their way or taking up too much time and focus in their lives, or are having unwelcome consequences.

    • I was not an every day drinker at the end of my drinking days but it was affecting other areas of my life and that means it’s a problem, much easier to just not drink and not have anything to worry about or regret.

    • hey, @jjr – i am newer than that year, the last time you have been here. all i can say is that in my 310 days AF i have not had a hangover, i have not felt sloppy and gross becuase i drank too much that day or the night before. for me, today, that is enough. am i/ was i an alcoholic? i don’t know, would rather look forward, did i drink too much, hell yeah. be well.

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 5 months ago

    Day 16 today. Leave town for 2 nights again tomorrow but just looking forward to good food and great sleep with no toddlers climbing in my bed. That sleep is pretty strong motivation not to ruin it with restless buzzed sleeping. Hope everyone is doing great!

    • Haha I reckon. I used to do that too…go away for conferences or rejuvenation time and end up awake at liver o’clock after too many drinks.
      Congrats on 16 days, you’re doing it!!!

    • Long time no see. Hope everything’s good for you.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Yes, a warm welcome back

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 5 months ago

    D14… I love being sober. Up early and great sermon at church today. So present with my kids and family. No drink tastes as good as feeling fresh in the morning feels. Have a trip in April with the guys that I’m trying not to think much about. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there I Guess

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Awesome!

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Amen.. No booze today.

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 5 months ago

    Day 13 of this journey. Reading, watching YouTube videos of sober stories, considering this the highest priority for me right now. This is what is working for me. None of it easy, but I’m so curious to go further. I do love having a clear mind even though it tries so hard to convince me otherwise.

    • That’s great @JJR! I read and watched and listened to so much sober stuff in early days, and I still do. It reprograms the mind. I read a great book recently by Catherine Grey called The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, good read. You can do this. : )

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    D11. I’m working out of town this week and last night was a bit of a struggle. My mind is starting to play tricks on me so I just keep re assuring myself “I’m not going to drink today”. Don’t think any further than that. So, even if I have an urge, I’m not drinking any alcohol today.

    • Good on you! Yes the addiction mind plays tricks. But that’s all they are .. tricks. I’ll not drink today as well. We’ll win. We’re in control.

    • They are only thoughts. I find an imaginary fly swat a handy thing. I just swat those thoughts away and get on with something important, like sitting on the deck and watching the sea xox

    • You can do it!!

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Wow. Amazingly tough times and would be so easy to reach for a drink. We all know that wouldn’t help anything. You did it. I’m sorry for your loss

    • JJR..I didn’t really consider a drink as I mostly felt so poorly, but smoke on the other hand may have been tempting as that’s been the more recent and easier to write off as medicinal..but for me, it really is not medicinal but becomes abused and is unhealthy..so I’m pretty stoked I avoided it Thank you. I’ve lost others before, but my brother feels the hardest so far..hits because it in my sibling group..and one of my closest at that.

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    Double digits again tomorrow. It’s day 9 today and I will not be drinking.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Thank you both for the insight. It really helps

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    That is really awesome and inspiring. Thinking ahead to holidays’ scares the hell out of me but hearing that you did it, helps a lot. Very well done

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    Impromptu visit from our friends tonight.. They brought the champagne and OJ, and then the wine came out. It took a little while to settle in and I hope I don’t have to feel such “white knuckling” for too long but either way, today I did not have anything to drink. Day 7 wrapping up. I know from all your stories that it takes a little while but it does start to get easier over time. I think this time around I am just really curious to reach that point where enough time has passed that it doesn’t take up so much mental energy. Trying very hard to focus only on today and not get too wrapped up in the long term. Good night all

    • Well done this weekend. @jjr The white knuckling got better for me when I stopped kidding myself that I could ever drink normally. And yes. That took me a while to figure out.

    • @jjr I found that around the month mark the internal chat reduced. I actually remember driving home one night and it suddenly dawned on me I hadn’t thought about a glass of wine in a couple of weeks. I’d just been living my life. It’s amazing how much time and energy a liquid can take up. Keep going it is so worth it !

    • Thank you both for the insight. It really helps

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Really great post. Awesome changes in life!

  • JJR‘s profile was updated 1 year, 6 months ago

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    It’s so nice to log in to here and see so many of the same anonymous names I’ve seen for the last year or so. And it’s also so nice to see so many newer ones as well. It all is just so important to help remind myself of why I even care to look at my drinking. Thank you all for your support.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Great reminder.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Awesome. Over a month.

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    I look forward to making eggs and bacon tomorrow (Saturday) morning for my kids. I love clear headed, well rested Saturday mornings… Good night y’all.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Awesome. Thx for the link

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    End of day 4. It’s nuts how it is so predictable. I start questioning if I really want this. Or need this. I do love reading about those of you who have made the long term decision and are happy you did. So, please feel free to add a comment about your decision! Good night all

    • Oh @JJR, That is your addictive voice right there…. Whispering that you don’t really have a problem, all your friends drink like you do, if you just have one it will be ok…. But it really isn’t OK, people who don’t have a problem with booze don’t get that voice. They don’t give ‘not drinking for four days’ a second thought. Don’t worry about your long term commitment, just do today. That’s how I did it. The days soon rack up. And each time you tell that voice to shut up, it becomes a little bit weaker. Get yourself lots of yummy AF drinks and treat food, self-care is the key. You have got this today X

    • It’s the alcohol talking to you the first week was the hardest for me.. are you drinking lots of water? and really looking after yourself.. lots of nice treats because recovery is hard. You will be going through lots of emotions and thoughts which is natural but if you keep focused and work at it they do pass. I knew myself after many relapses that enough was enough… Not drinking alcohol again for me is my life now and I’m prepared to work hard at my recovery… Life is so much happier without it. xxxxx love to you @JJR

    • That crafty old booze bitch is definitely trying to talk you into a drink isn’t she? The first few weeks are so tough. If you want this AF life decide now and kick that booze bitch to the gutter where she belongs!

    • I think that little voice that pipes up with ‘are you sure you want to do this’, ‘i wasnt that bad’ etc pops up with all of us. I still get that voice whispering in my ear from time to time (2.3 years). but it will get quieter and easier to ignore it. Just keep on telling it to feek off. 🙂

    • Day 4 is great, it’s out of your system and that old way of thinking kicks in. It’s not thinking about how booze makes you feel at 4am, it’s not thinking of the role model dad you want to be. It’s old thinking habits that somewhere inside of you you know aren’t doing your life any good. Visualise hitting the pillow sober, proud of yourself, waking up with no regrets. That’s the real true you.
      Sending you big hugs xo

    • A day at a time. You can do this!!!

    • Oh I remember that so well. I’d be sober for maybe 7 days, and then told myself “This is bullshit. I am not like them. I don’t have a problem. I don’t drink like they do.”
      Alcohol is a liar.

      A friend of mine just told me that “he never experienced any of what I wrote about” in terms of my drinking habits. Yet….a few sentences later he said he really just doesn’t want to continue his persistent use of 30-40 units per week in the future. Yet, he still wonders if he has a problem at all, and believes my drinking habits were clearly worse.

      THAT…is alcohol dependence behavior. It is not my place to tell my friend that drinking 30-40 units/ week is definitely not even NOT a problem, it is alcohol abuse without a doubt. That is for him to decide. We all deserve to feel when it is time to quit, and to decide whether or not we have a problem.

      If i may say one thing, it’s not your fault. It took me a few months to really believe I could stay sober and actually WANTED it. And it took me a few years of semi-moderating and therapy to even get to the point of wanting to try yet again to be sober.

      Maybe it “helped” me that in recent years I’d take a break from drinking, and each time I went back it wasn’t even a slow 1%……5%……..20%…..etc. increase…nope. I went straight from 1 month of no drinking to 2 1/2 bottles of red wine, gulped down like a thirsty baby cow.
      Violent hangovers. Shame. Anxiety. Depression.

      I never ever thought I could and would want to be 300 plus days sober.
      I never ever thought I would even consider never drinking again.

      But I am here now, and it is one of the best experiences of my entire life. I mean that.
      And that coming from someone who has a serious issue with moderation (in all areas of life….) and consistency (in all areas of life).

      If I can do this, and enjoy this.
      You will too.

      oxoxxoxox

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Thanks guys. It worked, no drink today!

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Nice work Tim

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    That’s really great. Keep it going. And welcome to the site

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    Day 4. I will not be drinking today. That I do know.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Awesome read. Thank you.

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    Day 3 and I’m grateful for a full nights sleep. Today I will not be drinking except for a ton of water to continue flushing out my body.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Way to go @Ro!

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Thank you @temperance. I so appreciate your reply and you.

    • Congratulations on making it to a meeting. I remember the shame I felt when I tried to find the entrance to my first meeting. How many people were in there. How I STILL didn’t believe I was an alcoholic but also that I knew I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

      No one has arrived at a meeting via the same path but the path they are on is the same.

      ODAAT. @JJR

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    You got this! I really look forward to hearing from you after the trip and hearing what I nice time you had and how relaxed you feel. I bet the others will be a little jealous on the flight hom

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    So awesome. Congratulations

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Hi @tamyrac.. I hope that you remember that it is the alcohol in your mind and that we are here with you in this fight even though we are just seen on your screen. Alcohol plays this trick on us better than anything else. Go easy on yourself, get some rest, and let the alcohol get out of your system and clear your mind.

  • JJR posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    Hello LS community…. Once again, I come back humbly after time spent with my head in the sand believing that I can moderate and alcohol might have a place in my life. And once again, I realize that I can’t and it doesn’t. Last week I reached out to a semi-close friend who I had heard stopped drinking 2 years ago. I asked him to coffee to find out a bit more. Once I opened up with him, he did the same and told me how one of his many tools was aa. I have been very leery about aa but asked him if he would be willing to go with me. Yesterday was huge for me as I sat in a room full of people and realized that there is no shame in this fight. That I need all the help I can get. That we are all similar in our struggle with alcohol no matter if you are high functioning or have lost it all. I am so grateful for this friend and I can tell we will become much closer from this. I realize there is no magic potion but a strong desire to rid yourself of alcohol and then looking for all the tools you can receive. So I am ready for this fight and I will do 100 steps if that is what it takes to cut the anchor. I do love and appreciate all of you who have shared and helped others. This community is really special

    • I LOVE this post! You found connection, the very thing we’ve been seeking the whole time. There’s a lot of bullshit in the rooms, which is the same as out there in the world, but what there also is, which is missing in the world, is so much honesty. It is so wonderful to be in a group of people who openly share how their idiotic mind works. Such a relief to hear someone share their crazy and for you to nod, laugh and think to yourself “me too”.
      And for us it’s perfectly normal.
      I love this and I love YOU!

      • Thank you @temperance. I so appreciate your reply and you.

        • Congratulations on making it to a meeting. I remember the shame I felt when I tried to find the entrance to my first meeting. How many people were in there. How I STILL didn’t believe I was an alcoholic but also that I knew I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

          No one has arrived at a meeting via the same path but the path they are on is the same.

          ODAAT. @JJR

    • no magic potion.
      but a strong desire.
      Thank You! @jjr
      And we must take whatever tools are on offer, where we can get help, take it! No magic potion.

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Absolutely great to hear your success. I am determined to be there

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    6 months. Well done!

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    Welcome here. Great to have you and well done on the stretch of time. I know it feels so good

  • JJR posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    You are always so inspiring for me. I see these and think about where I’d be if I would have just stayed the course months ago. Back in my on/off rut.

    • oxoxox
      Oh god, JJR if it wasn’t for therapy and this forum ….I don’t even want to know where I would have ended up. It was really bad in the end, especially the last 5 years or so.

      So glad we get to be sober now

    • PS- I had 3-4 lapses and that was hard. Don’t let anything discourage you from trying again. I am so glad I did not give up each time, because it was tempting to just keep on drinking those times.

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