• Hi friends. Today is day 6 AF for me. There have been evenings where I wanted to cave but just kept reminding myself how horrible I feel physically and emotionally after. I’ve been doing a lot of AF reading and listening to podcasts to help keep up the momentum. Both help a lot. I have been sleeping better. One thing I have noticed is that I have gotten a little fuzzy headed on and off the past day or so. Wondering if this is a result of the ETOH leaving my body or my body adjusting. My husband was away for most of this time. He is a big drinker and pot smoker but only on the weekends. Now that I am working so hard to change my negative habit into a healthy new me, I am finding being around him difficult. I’ll be honest, our relationship hasn’t been great for a long time now. We are together 21 years and all of it has involved alcohol. My fear is that he won’t really support me, will see me as boring without drink, or that I will realize that I no longer want to be with him if he drinks/drugs, etc. It is very unnatractive.
    Right now, I need to focus on healing myself but these thoughts and fears are ever present. Thank you for being here.

    • Hey @jenpea71 nearly a week! Well done. Sounds like the times are a changing round your place. I think you’ll find that it’ll be the opposite with your husband – it’ll be you that won’t want to be around the drinking and drugging – nothing more boring than being around drunk stoners when you’re striving to self improve. Don’t worry about him sorting yourself out is your main priority

    • Well done. Try barley sugars for the sugar fix.

    • I so understand your feelings with your husband. I don’t even know how to have a good conversation with mine now that I’m not drinking. I’ve gotten such great advice here though, take care of yourself first, all of this is so new and things have a way of fallling into place, I’m ending day 9, so I’m just working hard to stay sober and trying not to let his drinking get to me. Good luck to you!

    • Day 6 is an amazing start. How about those worries about the long-term future can sit aside for now….and you do one day at a time. That’s plenty for anyone to do. Early sobriety is very special, and you do what you have to do to protect it. oxoxoxoxox

      It will be ok.

  • Back at it. Day six and feeling good. My trigger period is coming…Friday night. I downloaded a guided meditation for “surfing the urge” and will use it in place of driving to the market to buy a bottle. Now if I could just get my hubby not to drink in the house, that would make things easier. My plan is to buy a few new teas and enjoy some sober zen time instead of getting hammered. I know my boys will appreciate this momma instead of the drunken one.

    • I feel for you. My husband is the same. But my 14 Uear d daughter said something positive to me last night about not drinking. I lime soda water with some juice and a lime. I was really craving wine tonight. Inbought or but then my friend called me to meet her at the gym at 6:30 pm. Usually I would say no. But tonight I thought it was a sign to not cave at my 18!days. Try to play it forward too. I inangined myself waking up feeling shitty and having to go to work the drive 2 1/2 to Columbus for a weekend volleyball tournament.
      You can do this!!

    • Good plan, don’t put energy into what he is doing, I used to do that and it was almost making it harder, just let go of what anyone else is doing right now but you.
      Great job! You can do it1 @Jenpea71

    • I fully understand. Hurray for you on day 6! Get some really good treats and think about how great a Saturday morning without a hangover, shame, or guilt will be. My first Friday, my husband bought me a 6 pack of beer, knowing I hadn’t had anything all week. (We won’t go into the sabotage thing here…). I hid them with firm resolve to get through at least Friday. Then I made a plan for Saturday. Sunday morning I put them still in the bag on the counter. He was amazed, took them and drank them later Sunday himself. He hasn’t even mentioned alcohol since. But woo hoo-weekend one down and I didn’t die. You can do this!

      • I like the sound of all that. Sometimes when I’m not drinking and hubby is, I feel really jealous – far too much energy. Well done on not drinking the 6 pack, I always give in to temptation when it’s there….. a habit I’m going to try hard to break.

        • This is all good stuff! And I have the same recurring thought… I will be present for my boys, not drunk mom. Not tonight. Not this weekend. My Yoga instructor yesterday said she is dedicating May to Ahisma… doing no harm to ourselves (or anyone). It was just what I needed to hear… I will do no harm to myself. Do your best to do the same!

    • I think day 5 should be banned as many seem to struggle lol ignore day 5 go straight to day 6. 😉

    • That sounds like a good plan jenpea71 on Monday morning you will be so proud of yourself! Maybe listening to some podcasts will also help – the bubble hour is a good one and I found reading sober stories really helpful too if you have a kindle there are lots to download. Annie grace 30 day alcohol experiment is free online and also a great resource. You’ve got this ! Stay close to this site and post whenever the urge hits you. The early days are hard but I found making not drinking my absolute priority for the first few weeks really helped. Everyday I woke up and thought the most important thing today is that I don’t drink – sometimes I ended up cancelling things just so that my sobriety took preference. If I needed to eat two slabs of chocolate and spend money on sober treats that what I did. If I needed to stay in my room and listen to podcasts on a Friday night instead of being with my kids – that what I did. I knew it was just temporary and that once this stage passed I would start feeling freedom and ease and then could partake fully in life again.
      Wishing you a great sober weekend and remember each day brings you closer to freedom

  • I can’t stop. I need help. I have tried so many times but can’t get past 2 weeks sober. I had to call in sick today because I drank too much. Can’t find my way. I’m so tired of all my false starts. When I read Mrs. D’s posts I am so envious and want that sober life for myself. Alcohol has been such a big part of my life for so long, it’s hard to imagine my life without it. I’m tired of feeling ashamed, guilty and sick.

    • @jenpea71 – nothing changes if nothing changes….what is triggering you to start drinking after a few sober days? Once you figure out what your triggers are, avoid them at all costs!!!! You sound like you are ready for this change. Stay strong, and do it. Remove yourself from any situation you feel is giving you an opportunity to drink again. Find that strength inside and pull it out when you need to. You can do this!! Welcome to your new day 1! xo

    • That sounds like my last day of drinking too. Too sick and shamed to go to work and scared I would never be able to stop but I did and although it was hard the support here along with daily posting pulled me out of that awful rut. You can do this. Just make today day 1 and stay close x

    • I fully understand.. I also seem to have a fairly easy time making it to about 10 days.. Then my resolve diminishes the further away from the last hangover I get. You are not alone in this. Get back to it!

    • @jenpea71 all I can say is I’ve been there. When you’re trapped under the weight of alcoholism you feel like there is no escape. But each day you don’t drink, those shackles become looser and looser. Try to figure out what works for you. Does this site offer the support and tools you need or do you need something more – counseling or AA or in patient or outpatient treatment perhaps? Whatever you think is going to work, do it. It’s hard at first but I promise it gets easier. You can do this.

    • @jenpea71. I hear your outcry. I had it two weeks ago. I found ONE reason that I can focus on that I need to change about my life and kept on say to myself if I felt weak: do I want this to happen again? Then I put the wine thought behind and my motivation in front. It was really one hour at a time. Come on, we can do this!

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    I am going to start the meds again. Thank you for your reply. I agree that it is better to be on the meds. I need to get to counseling, start exercising again, improve my diet and stay away from wine.

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    Thank you so much

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    Thank you

  • Back to day 2. It would have been 22 days but I caved over the weekend. Moderation is simply not in my makeup. I feel guilty and ashamed but moreover depressed. I have been on Lexapro for several years to deal with depression and anxiety. Thanks to my lovely genetics, I have a long family history of depression. I weaned myself off the meds a few months ago and thought I was doing OK. That is when I decided that I had had enough of the drinking and wanted to be healthy and present in my life. I think that threw me over the edge. I bottomed out mentally/emotionally and have had some very dark thoughts and feelings. I have been here before and the meds helped me immensely. I got off of them because they were causing issues with weight gain (alcohol helped I’m sure) and zapped my libido. Hubby wasn’t happy with that. The horrible thing is after getting off the meds I didn’t lose weight nor did the libido return. The only thing that did come back was the depression. I hate that I am a person that can’t be “normal”. I can’t drink or not take psych meds. I hate my life right now and I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    • But there is always a light. You just have to walk far enough into the tunnel to see it. You did 22 days so you can do it. Experiment with other meds? I’m so sorry. In no way am I dismissing your feelings. Sounds like you need a doctor’s help with the right medicines. Wishing you a swift solution.

    • Agree with @ChardaNO you will find that light. I am not an expert and there are a lot of people on the site that will understand more about what you are going through but sounds like you need to see your GP or a specialist to get you on the right meds. Hope all goes well and take care xxx

    • I really get how trapped you feel.
      I reckon first just focus on not drinking. Not drinking will REALLY help your moods even out, but you will have to give it time – I mean some months. It’s been posted here before that our brains take up to 2 years to heal. I don’t say that to put you off, but realistically that’s how much booze messes with them. But even after a few months you’ll feel significant differences. Also, feelings will come up without the anaesthesia of booze so if that’s difficult, get some support for that, be it counselling, meditation, bodywork, journalling, radical life changes – you are worth it. News is, there is no normal @jenpea71. Truly. Who are these normal people? Actually, more people that you might realise are on an anti-depressant or something to help manage their anxiety. This old life business is a tough thing to navigate and lots of us don’t get great lessons in it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of hun. You are just a human trying your best to get through. Starting again is brave! xx

    • I am going to start the meds again. Thank you for your reply. I agree that it is better to be on the meds. I need to get to counseling, start exercising again, improve my diet and stay away from wine.

    • I think the others are right once you get further in the light will be visible. As for meds better than booze for sure. I know that alcohol causes anxiety for me it’s the trigger am more than happy to take citalipram for life. Hang in there

  • Has anyone heard of this stuff?


  • Happy Thursday all. Day 11. I had a wonderful evening out last night with my youngest. Enjoyed live music and watching him have fun. Early to bed to listen to a sober podcast and slept well. Woke up hangover free and loads of energy. I’m feeling wonderful physically but the cravings come in waves. I was just looking through a magazine add that showed 3 people relaxing on a couch with wine glasses in their hands. This is where my mind was saying how much I will miss that. It’s so easy to romanticize about how “great” wine is but then I have to really force myself to remember that it is NOT my friend. I really want to go home and drink a bottle now but I won’t. I hate the cravings……will they ever go away?

    • Yeah they will, but you have to help them along their way. Imagine the craving is an old friend who is no good for you anymore, but who still wants to hang out with you. What thought is going to get rid of her faster – “I miss you, but I really *shouldn”t* see you any more” or “Fuck off, you’re ruining my life and you’re not welcome here anymore”? Takes practice, but it gets to be automatic and she doesn’t come knocking very often after a while.

    • They will go away @jenpea71 or at the very least they will become infrequent and weak. It takes time, and just keep reminding yourself of the positives, and why youre doing this. Over and over. Until the new way of thinking and behaving becomes the norm. 11 days is great, well done! 🙂

    • A really good tool I discovered when I first came on here 3 years ago was the ability to give the cravings a persona and a name. The person who recommended this technique called him “Wolfie” and the saying became “Fuck off Wolfie!” and it worked.

    • So hear you with the romantic fantasy of alcohol. I’ve identified for me it is possibility more about the wine glass and the taste (actually really like the taste of wine) so am taking AF drinks to big party tomorrow and asking for a wine glass. Another poster on here said recently that it is only the first couple of sips that give you that feeling we are romanticising, I try and keep that knowledge in front of mind. All downhill after those first sips = not worth it.

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    I am only day 11 but I can totally understand where you are coming from. My husband I have been married for 16 but together for 20. All of those years were filled with alcohol. It’s sad but true. I have decided that I need to be AF but the hubby loves his drink and doesn’t see it as a problem. This makes being AF even harder I think. Communication is key and remember that this early time can be a real roller coaster. Keep doing what your doing . Is he willing to see a couples therapist? That can really help.

  • Day 9. Slept well last night even though it is hot out here in sunny Southern CA. I woke up before the alarm clock and felt good. No guilt, no hangover. The blues that I have been feeling for the last couple of days has lifted and I am starting to feel good again. I know I have a rocky road ahead of me but for right now, I am enjoying the moment. I have a lot more energy. It feels really good to be sober! One day at a time.
    “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out”. Robert Collier

  • Day 8. Made it through Father’s Day (US) totally AF. We had a lovely BBQ and pool party with friends and I managed to get through it without craving a drink too much. I had a fridge full of ginger beer that seemed to do the trick. I was worried that someone would comment on my lack of wine but nobody did. I am still trying to come up with a good answer for when that question comes up and I know it will. I did start to get the blues after friends went home and the sun went down. AF means I am forced to deal with myself/my head without the ability to numb the feelings. I had no reason to be down but I was and it got worse the later it got. I went to bed while my husband and kids stayed up for a movie. I was tired but couldn’t seem to settle in. There is a large amount of anxiety for me now and thoughts that are going round and round. Slept OK but woke up with that same feeling of the blues. I’m trying to take moments during the day to remind myself why being AF is necessary for me. I like waking up without a hangover and being clear and present. I don’t like this new emotional roller coaster I am on. I pray it goes away and I am happy again. It feels hard to be happy about my 8 days AF when I feel so depressed. It’s a new day and I will not be drinking today. Simple as that. Hopefully everything else will fall into place. Thanks for listening.

    • Sorry you feel so down @Jenpea71. Sure hope you feel happy soon!

    • Your liver is clearing out. In the early days your body is doing a lot of work. Clearing out that build up of toxins. There wI’ll be some emotional ups and downs. Some low energy days are coming where you’ll feel really tired. It all passes. Give the gift of time to yourself.
      You’re on day 8 and that is awesome. Your body is catching up. Think that if you had just stopped smoking, you wouldn’t expect your lungs to be clear and healthy by day 8, there is a healing process.
      You’re doing great. One day at a time, keep going.

      • Yes!! Everything @ylang-ylang just said. Be patient with yourself and just keep looking forward. And by the way, when I first stopped drinking, if anyone asked, I told them I’d developed an allergy to alcohol. 🙂

    • It will go away. It will get easier. But there will always be ups and downs in life and in ourselves. Don’t let your little voice tell you that booze will help. It won’t. Look after yourself through this time. Xx

    • Yes- this does happen but feeling like this will pass. I remember mrs-d telling me to just ‘feel the feels’ and it was good advice! The good feelings soon outweigh the lows thats for sure.

    • I always remind everyone of this and it bears repeating.

      I drank for 20+ years. That is over 7300 days. I am now sober for 441 days. 7300 >>>> 441.

      BUT, I’ve changed more in 441 days than I did in the previous 5 years. I was stuck and spiraling. Now I am slowly and steadily climbing. Some days I take a step backwards or just stand still. My overall progress is steadily upward. Onwards and Upwards!

      You will get there. 8 days is fantastic but so very early. Thankfully once you get through the first tough bit you begin to climb. Please just hang in there, express your gratitude for the things you have like your sober mornings and just wait. Sleep when you can, it is the best friend that I found while my body recovers.

      Go lightly.

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    I can totally relate! I just keep taking moments to remind myself that it won’t last. I think about all the wonderful things I am grateful for and try to be proud of myself. This is f*cking hard! Deep breaths and lots of them

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Well done!

  • Day 6. I managed to get through Friday night without wine. It was a day off but filled with to-do’s. My youngest had his first piano recital which was lovely. That kept me busy until 8:30p. The day was a busy one and I struggled with anxiety about getting it all done. I will admit that I had the urge to stop off and get a bottle to “relax” after such a busy day but I didn’t. I thought about it off and on all day but tried to remind myself why that wine wasn’t going to help me and only make me feel crappy and horribly guilty. I was clear and present for my boys and am proud of that. The weekends are the hardest. Father’s day is coming up and that will include a bbq/pool party and lots of booze for my hubby and other guests. I plan on getting myself some fuzzy fun beverages to get me through it. The thing I am struggling with now is what feels like anxiety and depression. I snapped at my boys several times and felt guilty about that. They don’t deserve that. There is no booze to mellow me out. I was tearful toward the end of the evening and then again when I woke up this morning. Yes, I woke up hangover free but can’t shake the emotional roller coaster. I see now that I have used and abused alcohol to dampen down these feelings. I pray I have the strength to keep it up. I don’t want to be a monster during the process. I really hate this.

    • You are doing the hard yards right now @jenpea71

      Breathe. Speak kindly to yourself. These are very early days and you are in withdrawal, if not physical then emotional and psychological.

      A lot of people ditch alcohol only to realise it has been masking emotional pain or even anxiety and mood disorders.

      I’m not saying that’s you but if you do realise these things then all the more reason to stay alcohol free and get some help from a counsellor or your doctor.

      Just don’t dive into the poison again.

      You can do it xxx

    • I echo what @enzedgirl said. Also – strong feelings will probably come up as your mind and body adjusts to sobriety. It’s ok. It’s ok if you need extra help from a counsellor or doctor to learn to deal with them.
      You’re giving your kids a sober mum, and that’s a big deal, so big ups to you for doing that!

    • @Jenpea71 understand everything you’re feeling is absolutely normal. The monster is not being fed and your brain is upset and will say anything to get you to give in. Be strong and know it gets much better/easier with time!

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    I’m going to look at the mocktails listed here and come up with a new one for each weekend…that should keep me busy 🙂

    Thank you!

  • 3 days. Feeling hopeful. The true test will be Friday afternoon……wine-thirty. The weekends are when I binge drink. It’s only Wednesday here and I’m already starting to think about it. Trying to think of something to replace it with while the cravings are high.

    • You need to Do something different. I used to go to a late afternoon/early evening movie. You need to not be in the same chair in the same room as you usually are on aFriday night. Or if you are, then you have to get ready. Blue cheese, olives, nice crackers, a lovely glass with ice,mint, lemon slices, cranberry juice and soda or some such concoction, and just sit yourself down, eat the snacks, drink the drink, relax, and it will feel a bit stupid at first, like “Who do I think I’m kidding!” duh, lame! But if you do that every day for half an hour or so before getting on with dinner, you have replaced an old ritual with a new ritual, and soon you will be looking forward to it. Treats are exttremely important in the early days. Spend all your normal booze money on nice stuff for you. You’ve got this. Just Decide xo

      • I’m going to look at the mocktails listed here and come up with a new one for each weekend…that should keep me busy 🙂

        Thank you!

    • you can do it!!! day 4 here

  • Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I cried reading them. It is beautiful to know there are others out there like me that took the time to respond. Thank you!

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Your story sounds awfully familiar….mine. refreshing to find other folks who get it

    • yes.I think that’s what I found astounding/supportive.. my story is many people’s story.. thought it was just me

  • I’m beginning to think I will never be able to stop drinking, never be truly happy, or even know who I truly am. I’ve been on this site before making all kinds of promises to myself. I went to a family party on Saturday night and didn’t touch a drop. Sunday night I went marketing and couldn’t get out of there without a bottle of wine. Of course, I drank said bottle and the guilt and shame was back full force. I’m fatter than I’ve ever been and I’m a fraud. I keep saying to myself and others that I’m going to change up my diet and exercise again but never do anything. It’s hard to find motivation. Especially when my husband loves to drink all weekend hard. I’m not sure how to do this for me and for my children. I am ashamed and repulsed by myself.

    • I know it’s a horrible place to be, and I also know that it’s possible for you to get to a completely different place — a place where you’re sober and not ashamed and content with yourself. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. You’re a worthy human being, with as much potential as anyone else and as much right to be happy and free. And good for you for coming here and sharing where you’re at right now. That’s brave. I don’t know what else to say, so will leave it at that.

    • As usual @SueK says it so well! And it takes bravery and strength to stay on the path to freedom from alcohol. Keep trying and have faith in yourself. It can happen. It will happen. You can do it.

    • Hey @jenpea71 I was full of self loathing and said really dreadful things to myself every day when I was drinking. I despised myself for my lack of control but guess what, turns out I’m not a fucking loser or horrible fat cow. That was the drink talking. I’m starting to like myself and feel proud of myself now that I’m approaching 100 days. It’s not easy but you can do this. First step is to be kind to yourself. No more verbal bashing of yourself in your head. If you want to succeed at this you have to let go of that shame and repulsion and start being gentle and kind to yourself. If hubby wants to get smashed every weekend, that’s on him. Why don’t you plan some lovely activities with your kids instead? Things you wouldn’t have done while drinking. My improved relationship and connection with my children is one of my greatest sources of pride and maybe it could be a good start for you too? xx

    • Okay Jenpea71 I don’t feel I can offer too much advice here as I’m only on day 4… But there are lots of people on this site who have been where you are and have come out the other side! They want to help! However – I think the thing for me – slow learner that I am is that I’m slowly starting to understand there is no magic wand here! You have to want it MORE! and you/me we have to work HARDER… Read more, blog more etc I used to come on this site years ago and have a quick post or two thinking that was all it would take…. It’s actually not!!! Of course your not feeling very positive who would? but after each day sober you’ll start to feel more positive (Be careful though because my old track record id think oh I don’t feel hungover now time to go and have a wine! (and its never 1 wine!) May I suggest (I don’t have a weight problem though) that you don’t worry about your diet yet – just get rid of the booze and do a little exercise ( you’ll prob see the weight fall off anyway!) and i’m starting to grasp the concept one day at a time because the longer term is too daunting and it fools you into thinking youre going to be missing out! Maybe plan some outdoorsy things for you and hubby to do in advance of the weekend too?

      • Hi @faith and @jenpea71 Great advice there faith. I’ve found podcasts are really good too. The Bubble Hour and my personal fav, Recovery Elevator are good places to start. Plenty of good books. Drinking, A Love Story and Sober is the new Black are two goodies to kick things off. Totally agree, forget the weight, I have, I still inhale chocolate but who cares? Not me, I’m sober and that eclipses all else for me!

    • Hey the others have written such great posts; I agree with all of it. But just think, a whole bottle of wine is a LOT of calories. If you stop drinking for even a day, and drink lots of water, I’ll bet your body will flush out all that retained water and you’ll notice your face is thinner the very next day. Keep doing that, and by the weekend you’ll be in a smaller size of clothing. That happened to me! Can you afford a personal trainer? If you can’t, can you go halvsies with a friend? I did that, and it was really effective. Find just the right personality, someone who is gentle and kind, but motivating (if you’re like me, you don’t want any of those army bootcamp type of trainers). Start eating a piece of fruit before every meal, and a big salad for dinner. Your body will latch onto the vitamins and you’ll notice your skin is better. That will really help you to feel like your efforts are working! All these people on this forum and fighting the same battle, and you can see how they are succeeding. We can too.

    • You’ve gotten some great advice and as always @suek has nailed it.

      You deserve to be happy. Now pretend your best friend has just showed up and she has pulled a massive bender and is feeling the way you do right now. She is shattered and lost. How would you treat her? What would you say?

      Now go treat yourself exactly like that- with kindness.

      Once you’ve done that and feel a little better you can start with the getting sober part. Make some sober plans with sober friends. If you don’t have any sober friends (I didn’t), make some plans with your kids. Go for a walk by yourself in the early morning or at your tougher times of the day. Find an alternate route home so you don’t pass the bottle shop. Listen to some recovery podcasts just before bed or during your commute. Read a good recovery book. Find a special alcohol free drink you like and treat yourself with that at 5pm each day. Make it sparkly and fizzy with crushed ice and a slice of lime. When all else fails, sleep.

      Before long you will have a string of sober days and you will feel better about yourself. You will do this. Heck you’ve already done a hard thing by reaching out and posting here.

    • Hi @jenpea71, I too am guilty of making all kinds of promises to myself only to break them by 4pm the same day.

      This is the beginning of my day 2.. I’m hoping there is strength in numbers and that accountability will be the thing to help me do this once and for all xx good luck in your journey perhaps we can cheer each other on x

  • I simply cannot quit. I have been here a 100 times to update my calculator. I am sick of myself, sick of feeling like crap, sick of the guilt, sick of not sleeping well, sick of being tired all the time, sick of binge eating after drinking, sick of not knowing how to live this life without the Friday night booze, sick of being a slave to this drug. Why is this so hard? How did this happen to me?

    • I have started over several times in the last few weeks. I feel your pain, it is hard. I am hoping that this time will stick for both of us, because I know our lives will be better.

    • The first words you say are “I cannot quit” there is the start of why it is so hard. You are already telling yourself you can’t do this. There is no easy way to do this and it is hard.. Your mindset has to be right, you have to start believing you can do this. Have a plan, read books on giving up drinking or people’s stories. Plan each day, wake up each morning and say to yourself. I will not drink today. You can do it!

    • The one thing you didn’t say you were sick of was the booze itself – just the results of drinking. I agree with @Kerris – be careful what you tell yourself, because your brain is listening. Maybe if you decide you Hate Booze, not just it’s results, and that You Can Do This, it will help you find the strength you’ll need to kick it to the curb. Think positive thoughts and believe in yourself. You are brave. You are strong. You are worth it.

    • hey @Jenpea71 it IS hard. But this addiction is not bigger than you. Hugs xx

      • I completely understand @jenpea71. You want to stop but you also think there might be room in your life for booze again one day? I was called ambivalent once. Can you relate to that.? Your practising cert is on the line if you ever drive after a few. Can you work at a busy job after s boozy night? One option is to try some meds from your dr to help get past the first few days. There are also meds to stop cravings and then there’s bringing out the big guns by using Antabuse. It’s so hard to stop but prepare and plan and just do it. Good luck xxx

    • Hey it’s not easy. I have had a lot of false starts before getting to day 1 of the current 19. I stopped drinking for a lot of years and the first time I had a lot of false starts too.

      I think it is part of the process. I was seriously considering antabuse but have managed to stop without it.

  • Jenpea71‘s profile was updated 3 years ago

  • Happy hump day. I am on day 5 and feeling great. I have slept better than I have in a long time. The best part is that I feel more clear headed and don’t have any of those horrible guilty feelings that would haunt me when I woke up in the middle of the night. I will say that I have that creeping feeling that Friday night is coming and then what…….I would usually be stopping off at the market to buy a bottle on the way to pick up my kids and immediately open it when I got home. I have plans with a friend to see a concert on Friday night and will instead enjoy an alcohol free night with a BFF. Go away wine desire! Go away!!!

    • Well done on day 5. Sleeping properly just never gets boring. Waking up feeling rested and fresh and good about ourselves never gets old. Have a great day. 🙂

    • @jenpea71 I have often finished work feeling tired and happy (I enjoy my work) but to “reward” myself I would often stop off too. What a pathetic end to a good day. I really like what Allen Carr and Jason Vale try to do in their books. Get us to rethink how we view a drink. For me it is never a drink it’s two bottles, talking crap, crawling to bed after eating loads of junk and suffering physically and mentally the next two days. Enjoy your evening alcohol has no place in a good evening. X

    • So nice to be guilt free and at peace. 🙂

    • You’re doing great @jenpea71 🙂 love that sober sleep!

    • Very well done on Day 5!

  • How many folks from the US in this community?

  • Happy Monday all. I am day 3 of no wine. I realize this is not a mind blowing number. I am the kind of super functional drinker that stays sober all week only to binge on wine Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. Monday mornings have been harsh for the last several years. I am happy to say that I feel pretty darn good this morning. I drank heavily on Friday night and suffered both a terrible fight with my hubby but the usual guilt, regret and sick head/body all of Saturday. I am so tired of feeling sick, guilty and ashamed. We had a family dinner on Saturday and I was determined not to drink. I honestly didn’t have the desire as I was still feeling like crap from the night before. Of course, every one kept asking why I wasn’t drinking. I still haven’t come up with a good response to that question. My husband LOVES his drink on the weekends as well and was worried that I would be a “stuffed shirt” that evening. We managed to enjoy the evening and go to a bar with our cousins after without drinking. I felt great about it! I laughed and chatted all evening and new that I would remember everything , not make an ass out of myself and would wake up feeling good. My husband on the other hand got loaded and was staggering around and slurring his speech. He does not normally drink this much. I saw him with sober eyes and saw myself. How disgusting. I do not want to be that person anymore. I want to feel clean, healthy and clear minded. There is so much more to life (my life) than the drink. It is only day 3 but I feel hopeful. Thank goodness for this community!

  • Jenpea71 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Thank you!!!

  • Jenpea71‘s profile was updated 3 years, 3 months ago

  • Jenpea71 changed their profile picture 3 years, 3 months ago

  • Hello all. I just finished reading Mrs. D’s book on kindle. I wanted to find the 2 books/authors that she references several times throughout. Does anyone know them? She got a lot of good help from these 2 and I would like to add them to my arsenal. Thank you in advance!!

  • Jenpea71 became a registered member 3 years, 4 months ago