• JM posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    Hi @Jennah! Lots of healing thoughts your way, rest easy xo

  • Noodle71 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    @jennah oh my sending you lots of healing vibes! So glad you’re on the mend x

  • SoberHeart posted a new activity comment 1 day, 15 hours ago

    Hi @jennah, wow, thank god you are ok. What an ordeal to go through. How long will you be in the hospital? Sending positive vibes your way.

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 1 day, 15 hours ago

    great, @jennah. wow, brain aneurysm, congrats on no nicotine and no alcohol. once you get the hang of it, there really is no other way to be.

  • AnneC posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I’m really glad to hear that it was helpful, @jennah. Thanks for taking the time to write back. šŸ™‚

  • LeslieLily posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Hi @jennah – I am doing well! Ending day 14 with new friends over for dinner. Iā€™m the only one with iced tea in hand, everyone else is having beer – but I am feeling ok about it and not sad to miss out on a hangover. How are you holding up?

  • LeslieLily posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @jennah Checking in here every day has literally saved me from drinking. Good luck on Day 2 and hope to hear from you often. šŸ™‚

    • Hi @leslielily. I’m on Day 3 now šŸ™‚ How are you doing?

      • Hi @jennah – I am doing well! Ending day 14 with new friends over for dinner. Iā€™m the only one with iced tea in hand, everyone else is having beer – but I am feeling ok about it and not sad to miss out on a hangover. How are you holding up?

  • JaneyM posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Fantastic @Jennah! : )

  • LeslieLily posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @AnneC – I know I’m not the original poster but omg thank you for your words. Very very uplifting. And @jennah – I keep telling myself I don’t think I can either and then I keep remembering how annoyed I am with myself every.time.I.wake.up.hungover (periods for emphasis). I make myself think and think hard about every morning I have woken up and said “Okay seriously, I’m not going to drink anymore” and then had four beers that same night, and said the same thing again the next morning. I think about all the meals I have cooked while drinking and then sat down with my husband and children practically shit faced and pretended not to be – and how that makes me feel like a shitty mother. I think about how puffy my face gets. I think about how much I hate myself after a night of drinking. And then I read and read and read stories of those who have gotten beyond it. And somehow I’ve made it 12 days and I just know I won’t drink tonight either and I just know that I don’t care that tomorrow is Friday night which has always been the hardest night for me to say no to alcohol…. Hang in there and just keep trying, and trying. Something will click.

  • marmite posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Hi @jennah I’m a couple of years sober now and what worked for me was:
    1. Make the absolute no negotiation, will not drink no matter what for 100 days decision. Promise yourself that no matter what (skive work, eat a family sized bar of chocolate etc etc) no matter what, you won’t drink.
    2. Make it fun. It has to be about realising how many opportunities you are gaining (yes this will take a while). In the mean time, work out exactly what you would have spent on booze each month and spend it on treats for yourself instead. Books, magazines, candles, chocolate, cheese, clothes, jewellery, flowers etc etc. Really show yourself how great that money could make you feel instead of pissing it away on booze that ends up making you feel like shit. Podcasts were a game changer too. Recovery Elevator and The Bubble Hour.
    I also really connected here. I’d force myself to post here before drinking. Cravings are finite. They normally last just minutes. You need to find a way to power through them. Clean the house, have a bath, walk the dog, pace up and down the room, or get on here, the craving will soon pass.

    • great reply @marmite!! xxx

    • I’ve decided to go for the 100 days @marmite. DaveH just wrote an interesting post. I think I need to focus on future benefits instead of instant gratification. Funny that he posted about that. It’s been on my mind for the last couple of days šŸ™‚
      I’m finding one thing very strange about this site. People seem to reply once and that’s it. There is not much ongoing discussion between people. Am I wrong about that? How were you able to find connection here? (if you don’t mind me asking) Thanks for your lovely reply. Day 2 is done šŸ™‚ Off to bed early for me šŸ™‚

  • I posted the link to this on a thread yesterday, and re reading it, I remembered how bloody brilliant it is…
    @jennah this might help you

    The Obstacle Course (written by Clare Pooley)

    I read loads of sober blogs, and I get hundreds of e-mails and comments from readers of Mummy was a Secret Drinker.
    The ones that really make me want to cry, and yell in frustration, are the ones written by people who do the first few days over and over and over again.
    They do four days sober, then back to day one. They manage ten days next time, then go on a bender. Three days. Four days again. Ad infinitum.
    I get it! I really do. I’ve been there. We all have. And you do just have to keep persevering until one day it just sticks.
    But now, with the benefit of six months of hindsight, I just want to grab them in a big bear hug and yell “Nooooo! You’re doing the hardest part over and over, without ever making it to the good bits!”
    And the problem is, the longer you spend wallowing around in those early dark days of despair, the more you manage to re-enforce the idea in your subconscious that that’s what sobriety is all about.
    So, if that’s you, then think about it like this:

    Imagine you’re standing in a field which you’ve been in for a long, long time. Initially it was beautiful – filled with wild flowers, friends, sunshine and fluffy bunnies (maybe the bunnies are a bit too much? But, hell, I’m going with it).

    But, over time, it’s got more and more miserable in your field. There are still some sunny days, but there’s an awful lot of rain, and some terrible thunderstorms. You keep thinking the flowers are growing back, but they die before they bloom. The bunnies are few and far between.

    Then you start meeting people who tell you about another field, not too far away. They’ve seen it. Some of them live in it. It’s everything your field used to be, if not more so. And they appreciate it so much more because they’ve seen what your desolate home looks like. They used to…[Read more]

    • Love it. I am reckoning a Bright Eyes fan. Yup a marathon not a sprint. Great inspirational story, thanks.

    • I have read this before and as a serial re-setter i can so relate, doing the hard bits over and over and it feels like such hard work without the benefits! this is amazing and gives so much hope to newbies, thanks for posting!

    • Yikes this made me tear up because it hits so so close to home. Even this week I have been imagining “maybe this weekend I’ll allow myself a few drinks because I’ve been doing so well.” This could not have come at a more perfect time. Truly, thank you.

    • Thank you @dorothyparker!! Yes, I’ve read this before but forgotten it! This will come in handy for the next time I think I want a drink.

    • I came across this early on in my sobriety and would read it over and over again. Good to see it again. Thanks for posting!

  • AnneC posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @jennah, I’m curious: What have you tried already that hasn’t worked? Well,we’ve probably all tried those tricks, too, so what finally clicks? You’ll know when it happens, and, in the meantime, be proud of your progress and what you’ve learned along the way. You are getting there, even if it doesn’t feel that way at all. You want to live differently, and that is huge.

    I’m thinking about your first sentence: “I don’t think I can live sober.” If you want to live sober, and I believe you do, then let’s call that what it is. *That* voice that tells you that you *can’t* is the voice of that lying sack of shit alcohol, trying to make you feel less than, not up to it, incapable, and that is how it gets back in the door when you are determined it won’t. Maybe what’s actually true is not that you can’t live sober, but that you, like me, cannot live the life you want to live, be your best self, and drink alcohol.

    So many things go into getting sober, and you’ll have to put together your own patchwork quilt of what works. It isn’t just one thing. I will say, add things in. Nap, watch movies, listen to podcasts. The Bubble Hour, Recovery Elevator, and Recovery Happy Hour are some of my favorites, but there are many, many more. Read some “quit lit”–This Naked Mind, Drinking: A Love Story, etc. Go to bed early, nap in the afternoon –whatever you need. Say no to events where you know you’ll be tempted. Maybe consider going to therapy to get to the root of why you drink and cope with the feelings that you will start to feel again. Be especially kind to yourself, because the early days may be a struggle. You need to get temptation out of the way, identify your triggers, and change your habits so you’re not triggered. Set yourself up for success.

    You need accountability and community, so you’re ahead of the game there, by being here. You’re among people who have tried and failed and failed again at moderation, and then a lot of us have realized that moderation is…[Read more]

    • @AnneC – I know I’m not the original poster but omg thank you for your words. Very very uplifting. And @jennah – I keep telling myself I don’t think I can either and then I keep remembering how annoyed I am with myself every.time.I.wake.up.hungover (periods for emphasis). I make myself think and think hard about every morning I have woken up and said “Okay seriously, I’m not going to drink anymore” and then had four beers that same night, and said the same thing again the next morning. I think about all the meals I have cooked while drinking and then sat down with my husband and children practically shit faced and pretended not to be – and how that makes me feel like a shitty mother. I think about how puffy my face gets. I think about how much I hate myself after a night of drinking. And then I read and read and read stories of those who have gotten beyond it. And somehow I’ve made it 12 days and I just know I won’t drink tonight either and I just know that I don’t care that tomorrow is Friday night which has always been the hardest night for me to say no to alcohol…. Hang in there and just keep trying, and trying. Something will click.

    • Hi @annec. I’m finding your reply so encouraging. Thanks so much for this. I know my life will be so much better with no alcohol, I’m going to go for the 100 days. 2 days done šŸ™‚ I’m so utterly sick of alcohol running my life. I’ve known for a long time that moderation doesn’t work for me. 1 drink turns into blackouts too often šŸ™ And a crappy next day. I’m going to set myself up for success!! Many thanks for taking the time to reply.

      • AnneC replied 1 week ago

        I’m really glad to hear that it was helpful, @jennah. Thanks for taking the time to write back. šŸ™‚

  • AndIan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Hi @jennah I always found day 4 and 5 the hardest in my multiple attempts just had to bite the bullett accept sweats and no sleep, or very little. Heaps of paracetamol and battle through. Not much help but day 6 was always good to get to. Good luck.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    @jennah, when I signed up over a year ago I had no clue as to what I was doing and put an @ at the front of my name. Thinking its @lee-2?