I've known I need to quit drinking for years. I've averaged a pint of whiskey a night, sometimes 2, for over a decade. I would blame boredom, usually. But, be it boredom or no, I just hated the thought of being home after work without booze in my system to help me laugh away whatever else has been missing. There's more to it than that, of course, there always is. In any case I've always managed to let my addict brain justify myself by the fact that my habit didn't keep me from holding down a job and since I drank alone at home I was being safe. I managed to back-burner the fact that I was spending hundreds of dollars a month that could go toward fun activities or better quality groceries for when I had my kids (I'm divorced and a father of 3 beautiful girls, currently aged 13, 12, and 10) - not to mention the quality time I was squandering being comfortably sedated and subsequently passed out.
Anyway, like I said, I've known I need to quit for some time. But, just recently the kids and I were cleaning our new house, and in the gathering collection of trash I placed a box filled with bottles. My oldest daughter knew that the collection could only have formed over the last month, and gave me a semi-snarky look paired with a frown and said, "I am disappoint." (She's 13, so speaks like an internet chatboard half the time.) Ever since she has referred to what I called, when they were younger, "Daddy-juice", and in recent years simply "hooch", as "disappointment juice".
They're are dozens of other reasons - financial, medical, professional... - to quit drinking. But I must say that my kids getting old enough to see what I've been doing to myself certainly ranks up there at the top.
I've visited hundreds of sites like this to read about how to quit drinking, what to expect, etc... But I have to take it seriously now, and need support, and there's nothing local to which I can commit. So here I am, joining the community.
Good luck to us all.
Checking in for Day 2 – I’ll try to keep it shorter than yesterday. Question – does anyone else have a harder time resisting alcohol when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad? I got a small promotion at work today, and the natural desire to celebrate damn near derailed me on lowly day number 2. But I’m home, fed, and happy – still booze free. I was really surprised by how much harder today was than yesterday.
Congrats on day 2 @jayroc1981 – yes I was the same. I seemed to drink more when i was happy and wanted to celebrate. Now, I’m just happy for my achievements (big or small) and glad i don’t have to worry about the next morning 🙂 You’ve got this!
Yeah, on my many day ones over the last 30 years I was nursing a hangover/feeling tragic about some crummy thing I’d done and positive I was giving up for good this time but by day 2 or 3 I was craving big time and kidding myself with the old “ I just need to cut down a little” bullshit. Day 127 and LOVING sober life warts and all. I had to quit work, not leave the house for 2 weeks and ban all visitors to get two weeks under my belt and then I was hell bent on not losing those 14 days. Once you’ve experienced each new trigger a few times you build up the muscles that resist drinking and you know what works for you and can plan ahead for tricky times. Keep up the great work.
happy = drink sad = drink sunny = drink cloudy = drink saturday = drink tuesday = drink half dead with exhaustion = drink peppy and full of energy = drink healthy as = drink sick as = drink promotion = drink sacked = drink
we’re all a bit like that on here. whatever’s going on, our brains want to drink.
Day 2’s are harder than day 1’s, because the the body is getting deeper into withdrawal. I used to take a day off from drinking about every month or so, always on a day with a roaring hangover. I suppose to convince myself I didn’t have a problem?