• Jaxisdry posted an update 40 minutes ago

    I am at 115 days today and I really feel that as well @kitten and @rubyroo2 some days I just feel really flat when I should be jumping up and down with joy for getting this far again. As I approach the 100 odd days mark my wine witch really ramps up the noise and I have slipped at that time twice so far. This time I want it to be different. I know I am a much better mother and person when I am AF and my life is so much better. I have to just stay on top of that witch, she is a sneaky little cow.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 day, 15 hours ago

    Wow 5 years that is so amazing I am on day 113 and can’t wait to be able to say 5 years sober.

    • Thanks you. Day 113 is really on your way. Yes you have to stay on guard and treat yourself like you really do matter. But you’re on your way and that brain of yours will be learning how to live real and true. So keep it up!

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 5 days, 17 hours ago

    Happy birthday and Happy 406 that is an amazing achievement.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    I know how you feel I am at 109 days and it is a real struggle at the moment and like you I tell myself one or two drinks will never be enough and I would fall back into the way I was when I stopped drinking every night to blackout, waking up every morning asking why I am doing this…… I don’t want to go back there. Congrats on 102 days.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    Lynne-e when I first stopped I was incredibly tired my health was also in a bad way. Just know that it is easier to deal with what is going on AF you will feel better, be kind to yourself and sleep when you need too. I used to hit the sack at 7.30 for the first couple of weeks.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    ah the beauty of freedom…..

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Go to notifications (the bell icon) click on settings select the email tab and under activity there are yes/no options to choose.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    I’m not going to drink with you either, stay safe.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Welcome @aratika to this wonderful site.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Welcome @Shells7

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    I felt that as well @DennyD and @LeslieLily the first week for me was repairing from hangovers and fresh determination. I know it sounds like a cliche but it does get easier, there will me ups and downs but stay strong, just calling it out like “man I feel like a drink” takes a bit of the sting out of it.

    • True, it is basically the same for me as saying out loud “this situation is pissing me off/making me anxious/stressing me out”

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    321 Awesome, what an amazing achievement happy days.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Welcome @DYbyDX to this supportive and informative site.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Hey @ro those bloody kids aye. I am dealing with a very grumpy 18 year old and everything I say and do is wrong but I am starting to pick my timing and comments and when he steps over the line I tell him. Things were supposed to get easier with no booze, but I think I just really give a shit now. Hey I have been doing yoga for the last month and I feel so uncoordinated but get this last night in downward facing dog and farted so bloody embarrassing. I had to stop myself from laughing.

    • omg that’s so funny. Only one fart in my class so far and not from me lol. Yeah the kids. Who’d have em…?

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Welcome @Simba5050

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Welcome @darla to this wonderfully supportive site.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Isn’t that awesome actually doing something on a Saturday morning and knowing you won’t have a hangover or make an excuse not to go. Well done on 33 days.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    @jmtn I started with smaller goals 30 days, 60 days, 90 days and I find it really helped. Keep going you are doing great.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    So true Ro that is what drove me to stop drinking, being available for my kids on all levels. Me eldest now 18 said how proud he was of me and that kid has been going through some shit so I am so grateful I can me present for him.

  • Jaxisdry posted an update 2 weeks ago

    102 days today whoopee so happy I made it. A bit of an uphill climb in the lead up but looking forward to the plateau.
    How are you doing @Jesss thinking of you.
    Had these thoughts running around in my head last night
    A drink doesn’t make the bad any better
    A drink doesn’t make the boring exciting
    A drink doesn’t make the good any better
    A drink doesn’t make you feel any better, it only makes things worse.
    We are being our best version of ourselves, sober.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    @Jess I can feel your pain pouring out through your post. I am sad for all you are going through BUT you are doing really well, keep talking. Sometimes I find just acknowledging the pain helps just a little. My thoughts are with you. Kia kaha.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    I totally feel you @k1W1 it’s everywhere booze, booze and more booze. Got an invite for my step daughters hen’s party and it’s a bloody stay over with wine tastings! It feels like every event is centered around the bloody stuff.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Lars great post I agree I am so much better and easier to be around when not drinking and I am now going to think of myself as shining. Try and take one day at a time you can only do what you can do and if you are calm you will get a whole lot more done. Good luck for the upcoming busy week.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Welcome to LS there are great people here with amazing advice and support.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Your doing great and so great to wake up to a text like that from your support person, makes it all worthwhile sober Sundays are the best.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Hope your health gets better @Ro, I know what you mean about Insurance, we are lucky we have the healthcare we have but oh so much better to have the extra care of private. I am going to look at getting medical insurance as well as I have just had a couple of operations and stays in hospital and boy do those nurses run no time for them. Always wondered what Invercargill was like heard about the boy racers, but I bet it is being kept secret how nice it is so it stays small. I’m just north of Wellington and love being in a smallish town instead of the city busyness. Bet you’re feeling the cold down there at the moment. Sunday morning having coffee also going to do fuck all today yippee such a change from the past of totally hungover and pretending to be ok and doing all that shit I said I would do whilst drinking and punishing myself. Have a great sober day.

    • Hope you sleep ok. We’ve had it all over the news here. Way too hot for you Limeys 😉

    • Hi @jaxisdry 😊 lol nah he means life insurance
      It’s beautiful down here today meant to get to 13. A veritable heat wave! I used to live in Wanganui a long time ago… And yep there are a few boy racers just like anywhere – bogans, petrolheads, and a few inbred rednecks too lol. Hope you have a lovely Sunday too

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Day 7 fantastic. You really aren’t missing out, you are the one gaining a new and clear life.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Great job. Hangover free morning are the best ever.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Your doing well just got to get through the wine time anyway that works. It’s only for a couple of hours and then imagine how proud of yourself you will be in the morning.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Absolutely, we are so strong.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    That’s so awesome nearly there, what an amazing achievement.

  • Jaxisdry posted an update 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    96 days and Wolfie is loud. I brought a bottle of non alcoholic wine and it was disgusting, it did the job didn’t even finish the glass. Sipping on a glass of tonic and a slice of lemon. I wish Wolfie will just shut the fuck up. Survived another day have a great AF night peeps.

    • 96 days is epic. Keep on going. Keep pushing through. Wolfie quietens down over time, but time takes time. You really are doing fantastic. Maybe time for a treat for yourself.
      Remember the craving will pass, but hangovers and the guilt and shame that accompanied them last much longer. Hang in there! Xo

    • Wolfe, I like that. The name not the voice, of course. I find the “toddler screaming for ice cream in the back seat” tool useful when my voice acts up. Remember you’re in the driver’s seat and they can’t get ice cream on their own and will eventually tire of screaming. Best of luck!!

    • That addictive voice can throw a temper tantrum when it senses it is losing the battle. Stay strong!!

    • Really gets at you doesn’t it that voice.. A massive struggle some days but it does pass xxx

    • Hi @Jaxisdry. Wolfie is just giving it his all right now cuz he’s running out of steam. Day 96 is a long time for Wolfie. You just keep kicking him to the curb every single time and he’ll slink away quietly with his tail between his legs. You’re doing great. Just a tiny bend in the road. Be good to you. Hang in. It will pass.

  • Jaxisdry posted an update 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Day 89 today, I have been looking forward to day 90 and then on to 100. It has been hard over the last 2 weeks. I have had a couple of urges to drink. I say to myself why have I stopped drinking, man I would love a wine. I have been having thoughts glorifying wine and I see it everywhere. I tell myself that I will get through this and am rebuiding pathways in my brain every time I don’t give in to these thoughts. It is so hard at the moment. I have to remember how I felt like shit every morning I woke up, how I would sit on my couch and not engage with my kids and get pissed off if they interrupted my drinking time. I want these thought out of my head and I don’t want to feel like I am missing out. Wow such a pity party I am having here. Oh well better out than in, at least I can vent here and not be judged.

    • @jaxisdry , hi ! Congrats on day 89 . I always felt that once you reach 3 months , you have gotten on a higher step . There is a shift in gear . Very good reflex to remember how you felt hungover . You are doing great . The peace of mind when we are sober is such a relieve .
      Wishing you a great day .
      xx

    • Day 89 and you inspire me! You inspire many of us ❤️ Stay strong and here the truth and courage in your voice !

    • Thank you for posting. That was helpful for me to read

    • congrats, @jaxisdry – those feelings exist, absolutely, but i bet you feel bunches better @ day 89. keep on it really keeps getting better and better.

    • Ooooooo….day 89. 24 hours away from 90!! @Jaxisdry. What an excellent place to be. I don’t know why, but hitting day 90 felt like turning a corner for me. 3 full months. I suddenly began really thinking more about how exceptionally good it feels in to wake up clear headed and feel that way ALL DAY LONG instead of looking back at how shitty I used to feel ALL DAY LONG. A big change in perspective. Really and truly appreciating the upside of all of this. It’s helped me feel even more committed to keep going. (That and the encouragement and wisdom of all the sober warriors here of course)

      Well done! Wrap yourself in your day 90. It’s a big milestone for sure. I’ll be thinking of you.

    • Jaxisdry – thank you for the post. Yea day 89! Well done. You are a great parent. Thanks for the post.

    • Hiya, @jaxisdry. What a gift to see you marching through all this, at Miss 89 days in a row!! You’re doing everything right. Swat those thoughts of booze out the window one at a time. Soon you won’t have to deal with so many in a day.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    @soberdaisy yay on 78 days going strong. I don’t know how I did it either constantly feeling like crap every morning.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @lee@ I am at day 83 and have been having the cravings for the last couple of day. I am away with the family and everyone is drinking wine so I came on here and so glad I saw your post so that I can now stop glamorising the want of wine. I am having my nice drink and checking in here. Awesome job 98 days. I like being a cool kid.

    • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

      That can be tough, with family especially but the more we get through it the easier it gets. I’ve completely gotten past the end of the night “shift” drink that my coworkers have, it doesn’t even phase me but I do have a few family get togethers coming up where I know that I’ll have to be somewhat on guard. I say let them have it, for the most part now though. Have come this far and don’t plan on giving up my sobriety for anything. I’ll leave first. Big congrats on 83 days @jaxisdry! Look at us go!!!!xo

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hello @GeorgiaGeorgia lots of awesome advice here.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome to this supportive site @thompsongirl

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    That all sounds so amazing, good to be sober and congrats on 123 days.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Gosh missed it to @malibustacey so to not living in the past happy 1 year and 1 day bloody awesome. I am at 60 days today only another 305 to go but putting on my armour each day to fight for this amazing sober life no matter how hard the journey.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @soberdaisy when you said “me time” was drinking whilst ignoring everything going on around you really hit home for me because that is what I used to do, ignore life, the family, the kids and anything I should have been giving attention to, even myself. Congrats on 60 days, I am on 68 and feel great with my messy imperfect life also.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    You sound like you are struggling with work, remember you can only do what you can do and that is good enough.
    “Stop. Take a breath. Find your inner calm”. It is natural to feel lost when you first start everything is unfamiliar. You can do this @morgan

    • Thanks hon, that was a lovely message to read. I actually did way better today, partly as two very difficult ‘cases’ were away, and partly because I started later, avoiding traffic, and made myself walk slower, take time, breathe, avoid talking if it wasn’t absolutely necessary (I am shocked to find myself wanting far more silence than is possible … more and more introverted.)
      As it was, I was still doing bits of work at 8pm, but in my time, my way, which somehow makes it so much better. Weird.
      Ironically, tomorrow I lead a session on mindfulness and yoga – how to practice during crazy busy days. I will confess! and use the lovely Adrienne who demonstrates yoga at your desk. So sweet.
      Hope you had a good day

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I read that book and that is a good reminder about how the hardest part is at the beginning. Keep going and keep trudging through that mud.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @heidi19 yes it is another great day to be alive and AF. Well done day 12, sometimes I find it tricky as my husband drinks but definitely not as much as when I was drinking. The weekend roles around and out comes the red wine, it’s weird because I am not tempted but I can no longer stand the smell.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    That is awesome you and your hubbie helping those in need, amazing. Sounds like a full on time of which you handled so well.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    That is exactly what triggers me @startingagain that feeling of jealously why can’t I have that glass of wine out with a yummy lunch. Why can’t I sit out in the sun enjoying those wines ….. And so on, it really pisses me off. BUT then I think of how good I feel, how present I am in my kids lives, how I can bloody well drive anytime I want now. It’s so much better, living sober.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Agree with you there @teazy don’t want to be in that drunk merry-go-round. I also filled my time with reading sobriety books constantly and it really helped me with accepting my drinking and that there is a much much better way.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    @lee-2 I am glad you are liking the new job. You will find your feet and everything will be ok. Don’t listen to the troublemaker addictive voice.

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome

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