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  • Izzy posted an update 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Day 1. Feeling pretty horrible and scared of what I’ve done to myself, being so dependent on alcohol. How its impacted my family. I can hardly look at my husband today, after consuming too much wine at Easter as usual. He looks so disappointed and grossed out by me. I dont even have anything to say. Hoping the day will be a good one. Thanks for being here.

    • Oh, @Izzy. You don’t sound so good. Today might not be the day to ‘set the record straight’ with your husband. That’s hard enough to do with yourself, and may very well be the place you begin, with you. Drinking the way we have to, wrecks our kind. You’re right. I’ll never forget what a friend said last year, he said alcohol will ruin your life, then it comes back for you. Alcohol is the king-pin of liars.

    • Thank you @MalibuStacey and you’re right, not doing great. Literally can hardly get off the couch. Tomorrow will be better I’m sure.

    • @Izzy a massive fight with my husband the last time I tied one on was the catalyst that brought me here and now I’m 77 days sober. You can do it, be kind to yourself today.

    • Hi Izzy I’m on day 2 and felt the same as you on day 1. Try to rest today and don’t be to hard on yourself take care x

    • Thank you @paza good job making it to day 2! We can do this…

    • You will do it and the feeling of being torn and weak will go by. Living sober, quit drinking is a great aim to achieve so be patient and friendly with yourself! 🙂

    • Oh Izzy that’s no good 😕. Please take care of yourself today, leave the self- flagellation behind- it’s not going to help. Be kind to yourself, kind to your husband – and do the best thing you can for both of you: don’t drink. Alcohol is such a bastard, you will get through this. Comfort and warmth to you….

    • He will soon be looking at you with admiration and pride. Hang in here, set your mind toward freedom, post every day – twice a day! More! Plan plan plan and you will get free

    • so great you are here x

    • @izzy good for you that you are here. I have been there many times with my partner looking at me like I am shit. We already feel all the shame and guilt so don’t need to be kicked further down than what we are. They don’t understand that we didn’t mean to, when we made the promise not to drink we really did mean it, we are not setting out to deliberately hurt and deceive them and we do truly love them. I said all this to my partner when we had a long into the night heart to heart about my drinking. I know that when I have got that disgusting look from him and the days of not talking to me that how crushed he felt when I drank, how he felt he was loosing the woman he loves and how bloody scared he was about our future as a couple. I bet your husband does too. You are on the right road now, keep slowly walking down it one confident step at a time. If you haven’t already have a long talk with him, be truthful about your addiction, the more raw and truthful you are the better, he will be able to understand and support you. Keep posting and stay strong. X

    • Exactly. We never mean to! Yet he tells me how he doesnt like who I become when I drink too much but always plan to keep my shit together next time I open a bottle. He doesn’t fully understand my addiction and I dont know that I’ll ever be able to fully explain it to him. Your encouragement means alot and I will try when the time is right. This morning when I was crying he said “it’s ok people make mistakes” which made me feel relieved but also like no….this is not ok, you have no idea how un-ok this is. Anyways thanks so much for sharing @kissingmyrainbow

      • HI Izzy. No, it’s not okay. It really sucks! But it will get better. The thing is, for me opening the bottle starts the shit falling apart EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME. I tried moderating for a long time but I finally figured out that I only have 2 speeds – full throttle kick-ass all in “ON” – and STOP. For me, opening one bottle is just as good as opening 2. If I open the 1st, I’ll eventually get to the 2nd. Climb back up. Get through day 1. Day 2 will follow and you’ll be on your way. Be patient and kind to yourself. You’ll get through this.

    • Ooh day one is always a good start. Easter is over now move forward and stay strong. ❤️

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