I feel that alcohol has stolen so many hours from me. Hours spent sitting on a sofa, watching television with a glass of wine. Years of poorly contrived sleep, irritably ejecting me into the morning as a slow, dull wraith of myself. As I leave home, I’d like to have more time for kindness and smiles for folk on the street, but that thief had me hurrying to work, tired, head down, not caring.
I want to experience more of the subtle filamentary structure that lies on top of the world, the web that says: “this is me, that is you” and the strands, broad or whisper-thin that link ourselves to each other. I’m tired of feeling unraveled.
I used to stand on a cliff by the Ocean and watch the colourful city that lies over the horizon, listening to its music, before I drank daily. I knew that it wasn’t there and that it most certainly was, realer than the rocks around me, and I understood why.
All people are seekers, I suppose, but I haven’t been looking much for a very long time. I don’t want answers, I want better questions, and I want to be the one who poses them..
My favourite uncle from my childhood just passed away. He’d hadn’t been well for a while. Our families were close when I was growing up and I have very happy memories with him. I do get a bit emotionally blocked with grief, even when my parents died. It can be a real problem for me – but, nearly at two years, I think that I’ll be better able to…[Read more]
Nice to see you, @Janus2. I think you’re saying that we look outside for advice and home in on a particular person/small bit advice/cult before we really check what our own resources are first….look at the proliferation of weird diets, when all we need to do is walk around a bit and shove less food in our faces (I’m talking about me here).
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