• Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    I’m with @jocord!! Wickedly awesome😀

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @Maril135 you always know what to say, sister💛
    Honestly, I get a weird vibe that unfortunately is pretty much always correct. I have that vibe with the biopsy done today. But your insight and advice ring true, Maril!!!!
    And I teared up that I’m big enough to hold it💙
    Tonite we did a surprise happy 21st b day video for my no 3 of my 5 kiddos special day. I put on make up, took off that bandage from biopsy, and gave a from the heart message to my daughter. I hate to say it, yet it crossed my mind this video could be for her and all my kids if I’m gone 💙

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @prudence, YOU ROCK πŸ™‚

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    i am with @Tom4500 You are doing it, @chasingthedandelion, you are! And, Tom, HELLO!

    • Hi, @iowadawn. I read a post about you being in TN for at least part of the summer; really happy for you. Nice to see your name pop up here, my friend.

  • Iowadawn posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    Hi team!!
    So, as you (or should I say y’all…as I’m in TN and a southern belle this summer haha) know, I am having the most stressfree, wonderful time with man and kids in my home, my place,,,here in TN. Away from toxic OH. At least until August. Today I went to the dermatologist here for my self care of botox (yes m’am)
    As you know, I beat skin cancer, chemo, surgery MOHS, 400 stitches, staples in my scalp, etc one and one half years ago.
    Well, the dermatologist here…ended up moving a spot on my forehead. I noticed it in early May, but so much going on…i blocked it, and my 6 month check up in Feb(few months back) I was still cancer free. I told derm today I have a feeling it is cancer….and she agreed She cut it off…lab results in 7 days. My heart has dropped. In my case, my boarders are never clean, and MOHS is next step, followed by plastic surgery. Its a horrible feeling to always be afraid of finally having peace,and wondering “wait, things are going well. Something bad will happen” And it does, or it threatens to. Friends, this, for me, is when the “fuck its” occur and…triggers to drink. Not this time!! Not today. Honestly, my irrational thoughts of “this is the beginning of the end. My face is going to keep having skin cancer…eventually it will kill me. When I finally feel free” kind of thinking. No…I am going to reverse my thinking..”its a good thing I decided on self care botex between my 6 month check ups…and this was found” And…”I cannot control skin cancer, but I can prevent my mind set and reactions And my decision to not drink” And that I am a beautiful (sorry…sounds pompous) and inner beautiful woman.
    Also…647 days BUT we know of my bad NYE drink slip. Yesterday I did have a sip of mans beer, yet I have, through out this journey of mine, had sips here and there with him And felt good about it (not binge drinking…my bad ways) BUT I KNOW it is playing with fire with me, as I have…[Read more]

    • oxoxox
      So so much love your way. First of all, fingers crossed this biopsy comes back with good news. Those 7 days waiting for lab results are going to be hard. You have been here, and you can do it again. I pray it is nothing and that you won’t have to go through treatment again. But if you do, then they caught it superrrrrr early and you were being brave and strong for telling your doctor about this spot that you were concerned about.

      We will be here along the entire way.

      oxoxoxox

      All your sober days count, no matter what.
      You are giving your body the best chance of recovery in all areas.

      And thank goodness you get to be in TN over the summer to have that luck and connection and all the good stuff love brings to soak up. You deserve it.

      oxooxoxxoxoxo

      Extra love your way and a hug, if you’d like one.
      That feeling of “not again”…..is so darn hard. You have my sincere compassion for whatever comes up these next few days.
      And you are big enough to hold it.

      oxxooxoo

      • @Maril135 you always know what to say, sister💛
        Honestly, I get a weird vibe that unfortunately is pretty much always correct. I have that vibe with the biopsy done today. But your insight and advice ring true, Maril!!!!
        And I teared up that I’m big enough to hold it💙
        Tonite we did a surprise happy 21st b day video for my no 3 of my 5 kiddos special day. I put on make up, took off that bandage from biopsy, and gave a from the heart message to my daughter. I hate to say it, yet it crossed my mind this video could be for her and all my kids if I’m gone 💙

    • You know how to do this, to work with your fears Etc Etc, but damn!!!!! So hard. You could check out the documentary Heal on Netflix. I found it interesting, not OTT , a calm look at alternative ways, within medical ones, to think about healing. Xxxxx sending all the strength I can muster, across the oceans xxxxx

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    awwww… I thank you @Saorise πŸ™‚ Its so nice to have happy news

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @kitten, I could not wait to share with you and everyone πŸ™‚

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @JM I think im a sutheran belle at heart πŸ™‚

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Ahhh..thank you @morgan!! πŸ™‚ How are you,friend?

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thank you, @Timetobesober!:)

  • Iowadawn posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    Hi my @Morgan and EVERYONE!!!
    Been in TN with my man and 17 year old down syndrome son and sweet daughter 14 yr old. Court said we could be in TN entire summer and I am at the most peace I have ever been in ages. I am happy. I am finally where I feel I belong. I am home ❤
    Man and I good needed talks. So wonderful. I am tempted to go off Zoloft Butbi know my forced Hell of having to live in OH during school year.
    Friends…I truly forgot what its like to feel calm, happy, secure and loved. My ex and older children cannot “play their games” My man and I are like how we should be(before his deployment and than unfair court) Actually better. I forgot what its like to breathe
    I am home. I wish summer would never end. Day 646
    I love you all and now the craziness is over for now…so I shall have time to reach out to you guys.

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hi there @winner!☺ Good on you, sister!!!!

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Now that’s a good read there,@maril135. And @Morgan, your insight rings home. You ladies rock the shit😛😎😛😎

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    This is just so sweetly honest, beautiful and heartwarming @newstart100. Thank you for sharing. Go, YOU!!!
    And I know what you mean about the cool safety net of older ladies around in a group. Its comforting ☺

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Ahhh..so delightful. Congrats @Missfreedom

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Dang….its like “duh!” moment!!(the steroids)

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I thank you @jaxisdry!! Ya put a little smile on my face 😛

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Your words are so spot on
    and I thank you @liberty ❤ What a good call…the steroids. There are side effects…and I’m a very little person with overly sensitive reactions. Thank you!!
    Ok…lol now…a 110 lb woman downing wine with no dinner….and I am..as I said, sensitive to drugs…
    Oh man, what WAS I doing 625 days ago(with the 🍷)

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Awww. I thank you@ladyhawke. By the way…cool name! Were you by any chance a Miami Redhawk? Lol

  • Iowadawn posted an update 1 month ago

    @Morgan…yes, how weird moods change. My thing is that I try so hard to be optimistic and than…the straw that breaks the camels back kinda thing happens. I feel like a smuck always being wet blanket on here…I’m not about that. But the defeat just keeps brewing. I guess 2 steps forward, one step back. I’m so extreme…guarded than all out expressing myself. Lol. In real life I don’t look like a mood swing weird crazy woman. But on here I do I think. Grrrrr

    • I hear ya, you try and try and try and then it just seems the world’s against you – just got to pick yourself up and try again – we’ve been having a hard time with the sale of our house – had building report done and now it’s come back not too flash at all πŸ™ just one thing after another. All I can think to do, is just keep smiling & hoping things turn the corner soon.

    • I don’t think you come across that way here @iowadawn. You’re being hard on yourself. Can you be your own bestie today? Can you be to yourself, the way you’d like someone else to respond to you?
      Love what morgan said and how she said it.
      Being alone with that kind of wordless anguish; it’s real how our psyche fights tooth and claw not to feel it. It feels like a bottomless void. Took me a long time to believe I could feel it and emerge. The grief hurts.
      Also yes, Predisone? steroid rage is a real thing. It sounds like you are meandering your way down the internal cave to a good cry. The kind that feels like it scoops us out, leaves us weak and washes us clean. (If so I hope the steroids don’t get in the way of that.) xxx

      • Your words are so spot on
        and I thank you @liberty ❤ What a good call…the steroids. There are side effects…and I’m a very little person with overly sensitive reactions. Thank you!!
        Ok…lol now…a 110 lb woman downing wine with no dinner….and I am..as I said, sensitive to drugs…
        Oh man, what WAS I doing 625 days ago(with the 🍷)

    • Man I feel you too @iowadawn constant picking yourself up to keep moving forward. Sometimes it helps to have a good old vent here to bring in a new perspective for the day.

    • You must keep being true to how things are, and your truthfulness brings out all sorts in us – have you noticed?! I get triggered, or sometimes compassionate,,or lecturey which is really giving myself a talking to. The truth might be a downer at times, but it brings forth a response in so many. And you often add your valiant little gratitudes – we so need these.
      Peace to us in the emotional tempests xxxx

    • You are a lovely soul and don’t you forget it ! Sunny times are coming!❤️❤️

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Yes…that is true @k1w1.

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thank you, friend!😎

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I love you @morgan

  • Iowadawn posted an update 1 month ago

    626 days. Honestly, I am on strong antibiotics for sinus infection. And steroids. That is what’s keeping me from the “fuck its” with drinking
    That feeling when you reach out and no one responds. Because I assume klnoone knows what to say kinda thing
    I feel so terribly pissed rebellious right now. All the u fairness you old timers know I’ve gone through and jeep going through…well I’ve avoided it and been successful. But today something cracked. I am alone kids with ex. No one responds to me via text and I am over everyone’s head. No one knows what to say to me. Its so sad as I am of a pure heart, resilient, work hard, wear my heart on my sleeve. But I am in the hole of unfairness. And I’m done. I ran and did self care and yard work(hacking a lung) lol. I’m just not meant to have that karma of justice. Worse…no one reaches out to me. I sound so immature, I know. Yet its how this day is going. I would love to get smashed. And I don’t even care if I’m sick and hungover. I won’t but it scares me I feel this so I came on here. Sorry

    • Been there. Horrible place to be. I used wine – didn’t help in the slightest – well, maybe the first hour? Probably not, so one has more, then some more, hoping.

      I don’t know what the drive behind needing that contact is; especially that someone reach out to us for a bloody change!!! I think I was always seen as so strong and together, and later, for a while, too broken and distraught to bear.
      Maybe we were left too long as babies – as was recommended, get us into a routine. Routine trauma more like it. A lifetime’s message: “no one is coming, no one cares, I will die here”.. Pre language damage, we can never really know, (though I think I have an early memory of a hospital nursery, fluorescent light glaring into my face, alone, ignored… as they did then).

      Can you get in touch with your strength, your amazing self who gets out for a run, does the yard work, and all this when ill (really!??? was this best?!) This is your time to make or break being able to nurture yourself alone. It does happen – almost to a fault; now I am apprehensive about living with my man, my own space and rhythm is so precious and lovely.
      Keep posting. Rant and rave, anything but set back your wonderful progress toward freedom.

    • Hey there, @Iowadawn. Sounds like a crappy pile-up of stuff today, hu?? 626 days…ain’t nobody can take that away from you!!! As for that lousy sinus infection, your GP isn’t muckin’ around with it, aye. Those strong biotics will slam your system back in order…as for those STEROIDS….take as prescribed. They’re POWERFUL, tricky farkers and well known for causing ‘roid rage’. They make me mad and confused, every time. Like PMS X 100. Your frustrations are totally understandable. (Adding to it all ~ might want to be ‘aware’ of the antibiotics & steroid effects)…alcohol doesn’t bear mentioning.

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      I think too sometimes we reach out to the wrong people, and take it personally when they don’t respond. But it tells us more about them. Hope you feel better tomorrow

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    You GO girl!!!😛

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Yes!!!!
    Spot on
    How ironic…I’m on the couch now after binge watching Netflix, turned off tv and room dark…had a flashback of drunk as a skunk, pounding heart, on couch, in pitch blackness. EWWWWWW. Shudders. How weird I just came on here and read this, Dave. Thanks for sharing

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Oh @maril135 you are amazing and I love you ❤

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hi @Morgan and everyone!?
    I love this. Thank you.
    My life?…..good news my 23 year old found her own apartment. The stress level is hugely down? I love her dearly and worry about her and her mental health. But it was unbearable with her here, as you know. My 17 year old down syndrome guy is doing great…his pacemaker is a life change. Sweet 14 year old daughter is in counseling and she likes it tremendously? Its only been 3 weeks wsince her close friend/our neighbor down the block hung herself before school/passed away 3 days shy of her 14th B Day
    My man is great when we in person(lol) and we leave end of may to live there summer holiday. This past week he isn’t answering my calls and so immature on my end…I see he’s on active status on messenger and facebook. While not answering phone. Texting? He has good connection than bad no response. I think if he officially committed to me/engaged, my paranoid thoughts would lesson tremendously. I mean..wtf…last year at this time we were planning marriage/I called him fiance..we agreed..as court happened. Than as u know unfair court/no relocation 4 hours to TN thanks to fuckwit ex narrastic ex husband etc etc
    Yet over all I am learning to see my blessings and be grateful. I don’t go down that rabbit hole nearly as much..tonite is just off nite
    No bad drink…625 days says my count day? presently I am sick as in fever, body aches, finally on antibiotics for sinus infection. Bleh!! And I am still going to work…crunch time as finals/last week of school approaches. (We teachers are DONE at this point,yes? Lol) just run down. Tons of end of year for my own kids than the students. Yippie!! (Nothing like sitting in an overcrowded hot junior high gym while u hack up your lung…with a never ending end of year chorus concert..lol)
    14 year old honored for 4.35 GPA and down syndrome son honored with 3.4. Smart cookies!?
    Xoxo Morgan and everyone! To sleep now, I go

    • Reading this then today’s – wow, how our emotions can fling us every which way.
      Remember the awful shock a hanging leaves – especially when a young one, or a parent – it shakes us to our very core. I wish you had a man who understood this, and gave you much more BUT then he may be deficient in other areas – they/we are always patchy! πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™
      Fantastic that your 23 yr old has her own space. My son is here at present and I am a bit of a wreck, feel judged, anxious, a bit used and taken for granted – yet then I feel weird and stupid as he is so loving and wise for his 23 years. Gentle judgement hurts more I guess! He so does not understand so many things, and deliberately sweeps many more under the carpet in the (correct) name of not dwelling on the past … then I feel even worse for caring, like, do I want him to be my friend? no. Do I need him to ‘get me’, to understand? I guess that would be very special, but rare perhaps..

      Bla bla, didn’t mean to rave here.

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Oh @rise2015 you have so much but you are doing IT!!
    Good on you. Be aware of self care ❤

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    So exciting!!😁

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    You are so insightful and your words are so comforting @Morgan. And u made me laugh (“they don’t bloody respond” LOL
    I’m going to remember that to lighten up. 😎 well..YOU KNOW Morgan…fellow long distance relationship friend..maybe too much TMI but I was responding to him and I added…you know…an “adult” type message.. (I know. Lol) And so I guess I was especially pissed. (Yep) yes…I shall say…”sometimes they just don’t bloody respond” I love it!!!
    Yes….under stress and emotionally drained Definately makes me over react. Oh…..HALT
    MUST REMEMBER HALT
    Everyone out here..here I am at 600 something days and I still can forget that great tool…HALT_Hungry..angry..lonely..tired) if wine witch becons you…besides “playing it forward” ask yourself ..am I hungry?Angry?lonely?tired?
    Triggers for “the booze”✌

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @Morgan !! Awww…thank you for shouting out. Makes us feel loved 😍
    Actually…right now I am in the waiting room waiting while Izzy in counseling. Sweet 14 year old daughter was distant and grumpy on way to counseling (of course) Greer
    We are so connected and close yet I was frustrated she did not respond or do anything o asked her nicely to do…so long day at work and I 3rd her how it made me feel…and she pouted kinda thing. Plus I’m frustrated my guy didn’t respond testwise from 7 hours ago…o know, I sound immature. Plus yesterday my van broke down with special needs son with me(on way to 14 year old daughters championship track meet) as in 45 minutes from my house break down…tow truck kinda thing. Etc etc
    I cannot lie…at 607 days I had that “I wanna drink/I need a drink” kinda trigger feeling. I didn’t. But I know I need to slow down take a breath self care. I also need to remember my guy and I doing well(when I drive 4 hours to TN and we are together) I know…same sound and dance

    • It doesn’t sound the same at all. Despite the huge sadness and ongoing hassles, you sound different, and it seems things are on a new track with the man, right? Sometimes they simply don’t bloody respond … Sigh.
      Lots of love xxxx take lots of breaths and do something very cari g for yourself xxxx

      • You are so insightful and your words are so comforting @Morgan. And u made me laugh (“they don’t bloody respond” LOL
        I’m going to remember that to lighten up. 😎 well..YOU KNOW Morgan…fellow long distance relationship friend..maybe too much TMI but I was responding to him and I added…you know…an “adult” type message.. (I know. Lol) And so I guess I was especially pissed. (Yep) yes…I shall say…”sometimes they just don’t bloody respond” I love it!!!
        Yes….under stress and emotionally drained Definately makes me over react. Oh…..HALT
        MUST REMEMBER HALT
        Everyone out here..here I am at 600 something days and I still can forget that great tool…HALT_Hungry..angry..lonely..tired) if wine witch becons you…besides “playing it forward” ask yourself ..am I hungry?Angry?lonely?tired?
        Triggers for “the booze”✌

    • Good code hahaha Yes, know that one too. One day I got a sort of strangled answer to it – ‘dont tell a man you are thinking about [adult things ;)] when they are miles away’
      So now I use a kind of code. I do get comments repeated to me, he remembers every word πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      And yes, it is actually difficult to be crazy if you are attending to HALT and thinking grateful thoughts + breathing. Must remember now i just learned, the breathing has an effect on the vagus nerve which soothes our whole parasympathetic system. So doing a dog and childs pose will also calm us in a deep way. I at least start the day with child’s pose – easy, bed yoga πŸ™‚ My man calls it pouncing rat…

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hee hee lol @Ro!!!!
    @dennyd..ro is spot on about how your last sentence speaks volumes ❤ I’m sorry your “friend” is like THAT. …hopefully that pressure was her being selfish and she won’t do that again…or…she is a selfish pressured person(run..run..run)

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Happy days and nights to you, @prudance!! It sounds glorious and I am a teeny are my bit jealous…just a little…um…yeah😉😉😉😉😀😀

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Oh, @jocord this is so FANTASTIC!!! Thank you for sharing….I so relate to what you gave said
    Congrats on 52 straight AF weekends YOU ARE KNOCKING IT OUTTA THE PARK

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    My daughter and I LOVE “This Is Us” enjoy, @tipsytoegal! So when can I come over for dinner?☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    I am laughing @robynob😉😉 sorry…but the way you described it was funny!!!

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Dang…that’s AWESOME!! Go @Gojo!! And…good on you for having awareness and dignity after social media situation

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    😀

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Rest well, @winner!!!😉

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Brilliant, @hammer123!😉

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @kitten!😉 Hey @truthangel…I’m with ya!! My house is so gross right now causevtherescbeen no time…I keep wishingvi could just have one day off of work while kids at school….its so overstimulting!! Rest well And re group. (And think f*ck booze)😉

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @Morgan!!
    In my early days..on weekends…sometimes the night would go on FOREVER..like time clicking backward. And restless boredom. I didn’t want to sleep…I didn’t want to eat..nothing looked good on tv. I read and reread anything about recovery. I still felt bored sometimes..
    Putting kids to bed felt mundane
    For me…as time went on I didn’t feel bored anymore…I began to enjoy what I was doing on those weekends…and the 4mpiwering feeling of waking up sober was so ‘addicting” in itself
    For me…learning to not expect a “quick high”(buzz from booze) yet to slow down and accept it…well, the boredom went away. I think I had to learn how to not expect the quick “buzz” alcohol gives us…does that make sense? For me…even 7nboring activities were “boring” at first…as I expected the quick booze buzz

    • Soooo true – we are worse than our peers who want it all and want it NOW as there is that edge of desperation to escape. I guess some from boredom, some from pain, anxiety, the great hole within….

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @sober4real! Yes…just watching movie “A Star Is Born” really jolted me..made me petrified of the booze.

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    @JM I went to the funeral …drove early this morning from TN. The mom and dad love to party…I got a creepy bad feeling when she told me she was drinking vodka in her water cup(I asked she needed more water..how it started) She was kidding…but to elude to drinking at her daughters funeral(???) Than she said nick…her husband…had a flask
    I am not trying to be judgy..yet…wtf?

    • Sad πŸ™

    • So tragic . Can’t help feeling daughters suicide could have been averted if her party parents non stop drinking was not present and they noticed something was up. How will they recover ? More alcohol I guess. Tragic on so many levels. 😩😩

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Aww we @ro you have me smiling over here😉😉

  • 605 days!!! HI THERE GREAT TEAM!!
    @RO @Morgan. …thank you so much for shout out!!! Well….my 14 year sweet daughter(the baby of my 5 kiddos) …well last week her close friend hung herself last week…5 days before her 14th B Day. Her 7th grade brother found her…in the garage…before school. So tragic and all last week my time was on my sweet daughter and dealing with it…they live a block from us. On good note….yesterday I ran marathon in TN and stayed with my man(he is improving a ton)…I placed 12th out of 727 in my division….511 out of close to 9 thousand females. 1000 out of over 13 thousand runners, combined male and female😎
    AND I DID NOT GAVE A CELEBRATION DRINK. Not a DROP. Ripped off my free beer tag and threw it away😉😉😉
    Give for this lil’ runner lady!!!!!!!

    • Oh that’s awful about that wee girl πŸ™ sorry you guys have had to deal with that.
      Tremendous news on the running though wow wee!!! Go you -you little beauty!! πŸ™‚ Thanks for touching base

    • Hi @Iowadawn! Good to see you here. I am so, so sorry about your daughter’s friend. How devastating. Amazing about your race. xoxo

      • @JM I went to the funeral …drove early this morning from TN. The mom and dad love to party…I got a creepy bad feeling when she told me she was drinking vodka in her water cup(I asked she needed more water..how it started) She was kidding…but to elude to drinking at her daughters funeral(???) Than she said nick…her husband…had a flask
        I am not trying to be judgy..yet…wtf?

        • Sad πŸ™

        • So tragic . Can’t help feeling daughters suicide could have been averted if her party parents non stop drinking was not present and they noticed something was up. How will they recover ? More alcohol I guess. Tragic on so many levels. 😩😩

    • OMG how absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry for your daughter’s friend – and for your daughter. She shouldn’t have to experience something like this at 14. So sorry. But congrats to you for keeping it together and rocking that marathon. WWWOOOO HOOO!!!

    • i’m so sorry to hear about your daughter’s friend iowadawn. keep an eye on her, there’s a risky period of time after a suicide when other young people can be at greater risk for feeling very low and maybe even trying to hurt themselves or kill themselves 😭

      and big congrats on that marathon, what an achievement!

    • Oh @Iowadawn how devastating for you all. I’m so very sorry for the sadness you must all feel. Forgive the parents for their need for alcohol at this time. Any way they can cope…..it’s all so tragic. So proud of you for the way you are coping with everything. And as for the marathon, I’m speechless! Congratulations. Legend!!
      Hugs for you and your baby girl child xx

    • Such a heartbreaking event. I am so sorry. Hugs to your daughter. She has a lovely mom who will see her through. Glad to see you keep on keeping on, @Iowadawn.

    • Hey, @iowadawn. Great news on the run. Such a wonderful outcome for your work. So sorry to hear about your daughter’s friend. Alcohol, the “acceptable” drug. Tragic all the way around.

    • Oh that poor girl… πŸ™ I am so sorry…..No words are right for a wee teenager ending her life….She must have felt so scared and hopeless and lonely.
      oxoxox

      Lots of love your way and a hug, if you’d like one.

  • Iowadawn posted an update 2 months ago

    @Ellislou and @Morgan and all of you great people…hello from over here and day 592!! Morgan and Ellislou…I thank you for shouting out…I answered back quickly at school(work)…so evening now..so here’s the stuff (and it ain’t pretty. Lol)
    Remember my 23 year old daughter who moved back home with her (demon) puppy? Well…it has been Hell and escalated two weeks ago…she exploded in rage/called me count, who’re, bitch,she’s calling my place of work..and many more threats. Because I discovered she had a drug dealer put weed in my mailbox. And I threw it away(flushed down toilet after touching base with ex husband, with friend who is retired police Officier, and my counselor. I covered my ass) My heart is breaking for her as she is obviously hurting and needs professional help. I told her to get a physical (rule out physical) and than counseling/obviously
    I have a lick that involves key on my bedroom drawer. I live in constant anxiety until she finds a place to move out. I am hurt for her emotionally but also mad and infuriated AS HELL with what she did…and reminds me of the nightmare of verbal explosive abuse my ex husband did 8 years ago and than last year when he was unfair in court
    My 14 year old sweet daughter in counseling with anxiety now. She and I both saw our counselors today
    Meanwhile my unofficial fiance is still disconnecting (not answering texts or calls) I obviously have not told him about all of this. You can imagine my heartbreak and everything else
    I feel like I literally do not have a home. A safe place. Its exhausting
    So many times I wanted to come on here but I was just numb. And …I left my wallet in shopping cart last week and it was never found. Had to close all credit cards. Get new licence new insurance…etc etc. A little memo of my mom was in wallet I can never get back(she died breast cancer)
    I have not drank. I actually so overwhelmed I didn’t think to drink/cheer myself up ..kinda feeling
    My marathon is in 2…[Read more]

    • Oh lovely I wish I could do more to help you out than just offer words of strength and support! You have been through so much, you deserve only happiness, not more heartache and stress!
      Does your daughter have to live with you if she is causing you so much pain? Or does she have no where else to go?
      Sending you big hugs and love and strength xxx

    • Huge hugs, and all the love I can send across the oceans. All I can think is that yes life is incredibly unfair and some face way more than their share of trials and suffering. Can you remember the good times with your daughter, and her best qualities, and try to think of them when the pain comes? She will return to you, grateful you stood strong and did the right thing, but it may not be soon.

      As your man is certainly not wanting or able to share the load, who is dear ome? I so hope someone, a loving friend? is there when you need a hug and a rave. Teaching, while it can be a great distraction, is an immense role when you are so burdened.
      Don’t hesitate to pour it out and vent here as often as you want – we will do our best, no matter how feeble it feels or how useless the words can seem in the face of all you are coping with. much love and strength to you xxxxx

  • Iowadawn posted an update 2 months ago

    Hi @Morgan …how funny about to post and you have a shout out and I thank you😉 Day 592. SOOOO much happened and presently in the women’s bathroom between bells a teachers dream…lol!!!! So I wanted to say xoxo and peace to Morgan and everyone here. I shall post once I’m out of work (or during study hall..LOL

  • Iowadawn posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    😀

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