• hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 10 hours ago

    Thank you .❣

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    @oodle71 – yes it is about not being a slave to that poison … and 53 days sober is no mean feat … just remember i was where you are right now and you will get where i am now … just grit your teeth and hangon in there … it gets easier over time … our happiness is our reward trust me ❣❣❣❣❣

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    @sobergirl2019 yes we are all very vulnerable on this site and wear our hearts on our sleeves but the strength we get from each other is what keeps us so strong …
    ❣❣❣

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Thank you @Deester

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
    I had to stay strong or you would have kicked my butt … and likewise … everyone needs a day twin i reckon

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    14 days IS AMAZING @Sansa … i remember all those milestones … and yes this site is a godsend for sure. Hang in there and stay strong ❣❣❣

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    I so remember you enzedgirl .. a very gorgeous girl if i remember rightly … hi !

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Haha i had forgotten about my 3d’s …
    Drink lots of water
    Distract by coming onto the site here … and no idea whst the third one was either … and i went on and on about it … lmao

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Oh wow … i remember you joining … now i have a few more from my fb vegan page … and i have been tearing up but in a good way .. good to see you doing good ❣❣❣

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Thanks xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    It is woweee aye … i truly feel very chuffed today

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Hiya enzedgirl … lovely to see you here xxx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    @tinapai … your post made me tear up … so happy that that post wasnt in vain … i had to think long and hard before posting it on the vegan page but just felt i had to .. pm if ever you just wanna chat … someone else from our vegan page already is and hopefully he will join here as well … good luck ❣❣❣❣❣

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    But came back you did — well done ❣❣❣

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Yes it sure is Lydia727 … we are so blessed

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Its different for everybody kitten … just strap yourself in for a roller coaster ride and ride it out … it comes and goes … but with positive thinking it does get easier … but i think for me the hardest part was surviving the first month .. if i could do that i could do 2 etc etc etc … good luck ❣

  • My name is Hetti and today I am 5 years sobet.
    Omg … i never thought i would ever say that …
    I knew I was drinking too much and too often but I wasnt an alcoholic!
    I even went to an all women’s evening AA meeting months earlier … I listened to all their stories .. most of them horrific … I found it all so depressing I came home and opened a bottle of wine … and finished it …. I could not relate to a single woman or her story … so I was not an alcoholic!
    Then one day I caught Lotta Dann aka “mrs.d goes without” talking on the morning show about her 2nd soberversary, her book and her http://www.livingsober site … and how she was a functioning alcoholic … and I totally related to that … I started work each day at 7am, I had not lost my job, I had good friends, my husband loved me … but I was a functioning alcoholic … I totally got it … I had to think about it for a few weeks but I knew where I was heading … I was scared … could I actually do it … would life even be fun anymore …. well I found out I was stronger than I thought … and yes I could do it … and the most amazing thing was that I life was more fun … ok not overnite … had to do the hard yards first but I got over them and before I knew it I was truly happy … and lost 20+kg and regained my health, peace and serenity … and true happiness that didnt come out of a bottle …
    I would not be saying this today without this site … it was my go-to … it was my safe place … it was my support, inspiration and motivation to hang in there … there is so many of us around this time enjoying this journey … i want to mention them but can only remember some and not all … most important tho is my day twin @marylourocks and @mac007 who joined shortly after me … how could i let those two down so i had to stay strong ….
    So newbies … it seems impossible but it is possible … you just do one day at a time and eventually it becomes your normal … WE ARE ALL…[Read more]

    • Fantastic and so inspiring 💙💙💙 thank you x I’m only 53 days in but am trying so hard to be where you are now, so happy and not living as a slave to poison. I too highly functioning, less so in the end, in reality after 30 years of abuse was teetering on the edge of loosing the lot, my life included which at that time I didn’t care if I had one or not. I needed to see your story today, it gives warmth and hope to make this long journey ahead worthwhile and fulfilling. Have a beautiful day ❤

      • @oodle71 – yes it is about not being a slave to that poison … and 53 days sober is no mean feat … just remember i was where you are right now and you will get where i am now … just grit your teeth and hangon in there … it gets easier over time … our happiness is our reward trust me ❣❣❣❣❣

    • thank you, @hetiheti, great post and wow, 5 years. sounds good, all of it. how long did the “hard yards” last?

      • Its different for everybody kitten … just strap yourself in for a roller coaster ride and ride it out … it comes and goes … but with positive thinking it does get easier … but i think for me the hardest part was surviving the first month .. if i could do that i could do 2 etc etc etc … good luck ❣

    • Hello @hetiheti!! Glad to see you are still out there and doing wonderful!! So amazing to see how this site impacted all us old timers and how is still impacts and saves lives every day!!

    • A Huge congratulations to you hetiheti. I remember when you joined in 2014. Unfortunately I only managed two years before falling off the wagon. However I have had a lot of success since and am currently very sober. This has been due to people like yourself, mac007 and later Amy.
      You are an inspiration to everybody at LS and showing the newbies how it can be done. You are Brilliant !

    • I just found my way here thanks to your Facebook post on a vegan page. Thank you so much and Congratulations on 5 years!

      • How cool is that @tinapai ? Welcome 😊

      • @tinapai … your post made me tear up … so happy that that post wasnt in vain … i had to think long and hard before posting it on the vegan page but just felt i had to .. pm if ever you just wanna chat … someone else from our vegan page already is and hopefully he will join here as well … good luck ❣❣❣❣❣

    • Wowee @hetiheti 5 years is wonderful! So inspiring for us all. 🍰💮🌻🏆🥇🤸‍♀️🤹‍♀️🏋️‍♀️🌅🎡

    • Huge congrats @hetiheti!!! 5 years is so amazing, hats off to you! x

    • Huge congrats Hetti. You lead me to this site from Facebook almost a year ago and I’m so grateful for that. You are truly inspiration to everyone.

      • Oh wow … i remember you joining … now i have a few more from my fb vegan page … and i have been tearing up but in a good way .. good to see you doing good ❣❣❣

    • Congratulations @Hetiheti …… I owe you and @Marylourocks a great deal, you both were lamp lighters to many and I know you were only 8 days a head of me but back then that felt like years!! Thank you xo………back in the day when we first joined here there were only around 600 members and we all supported each other hugely! We knew we would kick the others arse if we slipped up and this was a good incentive not too!! Lol…We would have been hunted down and bashed…haha..however we all kept giving each other the support we needed and together we did it… If anyone slipped off along the way the other were there to help….it is very very hard to stop doing something you loved doing ,that is so bad for you but once you do and you start seeing the rewards and ditch the romantic whispers that sweep past your ear every now and again, you realise that all that drinking was ‘bullshit’! Five years on and life is so different now for all of us….I look back and I know that I would not be the person I am now if I continued on drinking… so thank you again Hetti for your choice to stop drinking and being there for many of us…..I think your saying way back then was the 3 D’s ….Distraction, ? , and drink water …forgot one, sorry..Oh Well I will add @mrs-d 🙂 Lotta you must be overjoyed to see all these years of no drinking stacking up for members? All because of you my dear! xox

      • Haha i had forgotten about my 3d’s …
        Drink lots of water
        Distract by coming onto the site here … and no idea whst the third one was either … and i went on and on about it … lmao

    • HUGE congrats Heti 😊 you don’t remember me but we met in Chch at Prudence’s place. I remember enjoying your humour and frankness 😊

      Five years down and how life has changed eh?

    • Wow! What an achievement! Hetti 5 years to me right now sounds unimaginable. I am on day 14. I hope one day I too will be posting such an achievement. I couldn’t agree more, this site has been a Godsend and is making stick. It’s true, I don’t want to let myself down in this community. Thank you, Thank you so much for your words of hope and happiness for all of us to strive for.

      • 14 days IS AMAZING @Sansa … i remember all those milestones … and yes this site is a godsend for sure. Hang in there and stay strong ❣❣❣

    • Yay for you and yes we are!!!!!! Such a superstar. Hope you feel proud and fabulous today xx

    • Hey my twinnie, we did good! Who would have thought five years ago we would have become the dream team, supporting each other, kicking each other when needed and mostly being there for each other, not just then but now. Not gonna kid anyone, it gets easier but every now and then the demon comes knocking so quick as I’m on that phone to Hetti for support and encouragement.

    • Thank you Heti for a most encouraging post. Congrats on the 5 years.

    • Thank you for your inspirational post! I appreciate the vulnerability on this site and feel so supported through people like you sharing your stories!

    • Congratulations, an awesome milestone!!!💐

    • Oh, so nice to hear from you @hetiheti and huge congratulations!

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 days, 19 hours ago

    Well said …
    and big hugs

  • hetiheti posted an update 3 months ago

    @marylourocks hi my day twinnie …. saw your post yesterday but can’t find it to reply … lovely to see a post from you … very quite over the last 9 months but you have been enjoying your sober life full of adventure grandkids etc etc … I haven’t been on very often either .. maybe 2 or 3 times … but oh I remember those early days where this was our safe place, our support base and even our happy place … we just about lived here … we cried but we laughed as well … I could never have done it without all the support from those around us at that time … did you realise we are 1,738 days SOBER … and heading to our 5 years SOBER in August …. wow … we are bloody awesome aye …
    See newbies, we were once celebrating 1 day sober, then 1 week … omg I still remember vividly getting to double figures, 1 month … and cried when I recently found a weight diary from the year before sobriety … what a sad person I was … trying to have AF days and diet … and failing on both accounts … I was depressed fat and unhealthy … sigh!!! now I am 70 … hard not to regret those wasted days and wasted nights (yeh I heard the song lol) but I can’t go there … instead I am grateful to have regained my health, lost 20+ kg and am healthier and fitter than I was in my 50s …. SOBRIETY ROCKS … and we rock too marylou ❤️❤️❤️

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    I love that picture of sober you with your hand on toddlers back, in the dark, knowing you are both safe … that is why we do it.
    So many of us this year reaching our 5 year soberversary … I had my first real, and only to date thankfully, attack heading into my 50th wedding anniversary in March … for weeks I saw a glass of champagne in my hand, Moët bubbles, a long beautiful glass with cold water beads on the outside etc etc … this went on for weeks til I sat down and thought it thru … it was the romance I wanted not the booze … and I got over it.
    Recently after a long discussion about depression with a friend, I was reminded of myself 5 years …. I was so unhappy, so miserable so not me …. then that magic day everything changed … yet nothing changed … I still missed my kids, I still had problems, life continued but I was ok … over the next few years I regained my confidence, my inner strength, my health but best of all my happiness …. and that is why I do it.
    Please find the time to sit down with pen and paper and write to your old self and tell her how good your life is now …. and how much better you feel … and look forward to your 5th soberversary ….. we are a powerful tribe and I am glad I am part of it … big hugs brummiebird xxx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    DennyD … good to hear that … reading my own post from 6 yrs ago makes me so sad … i also recently found a weight journal of around that time … i was so sad … trying so hard to lose weight but doing it all wrong … having alcohol free nights twice a week thinking i could control my problem that way but alas no … i lived on this site in the early days .. i learnt also that sometimes it was easier to stay home rather than risk it … only you can decide that one … but i remember to this day how good i felt reaching my first 7 days, double digits, first month etc … those milestones became my jewels in a crown so to speak and eventually it became my norm but it was a rollercoaster ride for sure … YES YOU WILL DO THIS and you have an amazing tribe right here for support ….

  • Always interested what comes up on my fb memories … forgot about this one from 6 years ago …
    tomorrow i start on a 30-day challenge – thanks to kelly – 30 days of no wine – no bread – no pasta – no processed food – the latter is fine and i can do that BUT no wine for 30 days – so i am putting it up here for all the support i can get – anyone want to join me????? also by putting it here i will have to stick to it eh!!! will keep you posted if you are interested – also let you know of any (hope heaps) weight loss !! wish me luck please!!! …
    Well … i have no memory of whether i lasted the 30 days but i know i didnt lose any weight … if only i discovered the joy of sobriety that time … but it would take about another 18 months before i finally got it … so any newbies, please stay with it … dont derail yourself and waste more time on that booze … now nearly 5 years sober I can honestly hand on heart say it IS THE BEST … oh and by the way i did lose that weight but only when I finally kicked that booze

    • perfectly timed post @hetiheti I could feel my resolve starting to wane. You have inspired me to continue. I have managed a night out earlier this week with family who are big drinkers and had a really great night….sober!!! We are going out with my sister and her husband tomorrow night and we traditionally hit it hard and have a lot of laughs. Really want to go but know I will struggle saying no. I have started back meditating and setting my daily intention to “easily resist the alcohol cravings today and every day”. It has helped so far so hopefully it will continue for tomorrow night.
      I WILL do this.

      • DennyD … good to hear that … reading my own post from 6 yrs ago makes me so sad … i also recently found a weight journal of around that time … i was so sad … trying so hard to lose weight but doing it all wrong … having alcohol free nights twice a week thinking i could control my problem that way but alas no … i lived on this site in the early days .. i learnt also that sometimes it was easier to stay home rather than risk it … only you can decide that one … but i remember to this day how good i felt reaching my first 7 days, double digits, first month etc … those milestones became my jewels in a crown so to speak and eventually it became my norm but it was a rollercoaster ride for sure … YES YOU WILL DO THIS and you have an amazing tribe right here for support ….

    • Pretty powerful post, you got there @hetiheti. Outstanding. xo

    • Fabulous achievement @hetiheti and great of you to pop in and share those thoughts.

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    I love your post … very positive … you can do this xx

  • Hello beautiful sober friends … 1668 days sober … heading into my first 5 years in August … from day one to day 5 when I committed to “forever” I have been comfortable in my sober state … I have belted myself in and ridden that roller coaster, especially in those early days … and discovered I was stronger than I thought I was … I changed my diet and lost lots of weight and became someone I actually am proud of ….
    SO WHY now am I continually thinking about champagne? Thinking of how lovely to pour and hold that gorgeous glass of bubbles? I don’t think it is the champagne itself I am hankering for …. I think it is the romance, the style, the what the fucking hell am I on about at all … I have no idea … it’s our 50th wedding anniversary and we are going on a small road trip spending the night itself at The Hermitage at Mt Cook …. and I think it is that and the special date that the wine witch in my brain is trying to trick my resolve … one would think after all this time I would be free from that witch but no, here she is, popping up to trip me up … and yeh, that glass of champagne in my hand would be quite lovely … I even know that I could stick to that one glass on the night … ok maybe two …. it is special after all …. BUT I also know I would be on top of that slippery slope and we all know where that slope ends up … yeh it might even takes months, maybe only weeks …. but i would end up eventually back where I was 1668 days ago … so NO I will not listen to the wine witch, the lies won’t be listened to … I will enjoy our road trip, our anniversary and precious time spent sober with my man and more importantly with myself …. I will get to my 5 years sober and continue this amazing journey … but yeh it was a surprise that I even ended up thinking like this … goes to show our resolve must stay strong … this too shall pass …. thanks for letting me share ….

    • @hetiheti, congrats on your anniversary, i mean wow!!!!! i am no where near your day count (and congratulations on that) , but my hardest times of resisting do not come from sad, bored, stressed, depressed, but happy, time to celebrate. First day of spring is coming, for example. changing the definition of c e l e b r a t e is taking me some time. be well. good to hear from you.

    • That is so amazing! Keep your eye on the biggest prize 🙂 and don’t listen to that wine witch! 5 years is an amazing achievement! But bigger still is how much you’ve turned your life around 🙂 keep going! You are an inspiration!

    • Shock horror!!! You should have a thimble full and I bet you would find it really yuk. Our tastes change so much, especially you being such a great eater. I have had the odd sip when feeling all FOMO, and truly, the chemical ethanol taste hits first.
      Happy anniversary gorgeous XXXXXXX

    • I get the whole romance part of drinking. How about buying a very nice set of Champaign glasses with 50th anniversary on them. Buying and chilling a bottle of sparking non alcoholic cider and actually like the taste of it and get to admire and recognize your momentous marriage achievement and celebrate your sobriety.

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Its a great feeling … shout it out xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Cute … at least it original for sure zx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Shame but no … we kept it up for a long time … might be time to restart again msybe … i do 3 gratitudes every morning … and in the bed i find 3 things to be thankful of for and during that day … and it is true, it helps a LOT

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Lovely to treat yourself … and well done with D416 … well deserved xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Love it … and i was just teasing … sober4real and another sober warrior has contacted me … at present getting mentor training for a group called Challenge 22+ … all voluntary of course but much better if i know what i am doing i think xx congrats again Mac on it all .
    .

  • @sober4real hi sober4real … if i can help you in any way re plant based lifestyle please fb msg me … fb hetti engelen … would be happy to give you info

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Beautiful Mac … arent we the lucky ones ❤ 1600 days is just so fantastic … what a number aye … and what do you mean only 97% plant based … haha … but so good to hear it is working for you as it did for me … xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Haha … thanks …

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Great to hear …

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you …

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Oh sue … you were my inspiration way back then … you were whst? 5 yrs sober then and i just could not imagine myself there … yet here i am … thank you for your inspiration for so many of us in our early days xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Well done so like me you will be 70 with a good many sober years behind you … our health is worth it for sure

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Awww thank you

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    5th soberversary not til august .. yeh imagine is we had stopped in our 30s or 40s but we didnt and regrets are a waste of time … thank you for the kind wishes

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Not til august xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Way more than bright for sure

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    5th sober birthday … 5th soberversary not til augyst

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    497 days … wow … great to read that you didnt let that slip up derail you … well done

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you … i certainly did xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    I do mean to pop in more often …

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Exactly … but we mustnt waste too much time on regrets either xx

  • hetiheti posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    5th sober birthday … my 5th soberversary not til august

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