• heidi19 posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Well team, here I am on day two of my interesting journey,still looking for my happy place! I know it’s out there,am just needing guidance in finding it! I am grieving today quite badly, as I lost my very best friend two days ago! My friend, mona comes in the shape of a dark green bottle, she’s known as savvy by her knickname,but unfortunately to me she is mona as she does nothing but moan to me!! She always arrives on my shoulder by 4pm,as regular as clockwork moaning and groaning to me it’s time for a wee savvy!! But two days ago we came to blows with each other and I had to give her her marching orders and I asked her to leave! It was the most distressing thing I’ve ever had to do! Her moaning got me down so so much, so here I am feeling sorry for myself and my actions but feel since I’ve made my decision I owe it to mona to see it through! So hopefully peeps, I won’t be too much of a burden on you all as I go through my grieving process! I guess it’s something we all have to go through when we lose the love of our life! So here I go on day two heading for 4pm (in 3 hours time) all by myself but know I have plenty of friends on here to support me! I guess I will be visiting here a lot in the next few hours/days,thank you all for listening to me,xx.

    • I love how you are looking at this.. Mona is not a real friend.. as you will discover the longer you go without her. Great you are here! x

    • I second Mrs D! Great and insightful post all around! Thanks so much for sharing this.
      Now I want to name that wine witch voice as well…..I never thought about it but she’s there. The dark passenger. Kinda like in Dexter.

    • Hi @heidi19 Is there something you can deliberately go and do at 4:00 every day for a while? Something that will keep you occupied for an hour or so?
      P.S. Mona’s not your friend. She has been lying to you for years.

      • Yeah, wondered about being healthy and going for a walk to the pub,lol!! @daveh.

        • Hhaha. My experience was that it was wiser to set off in the opposite direction, otherwise when I got near the pub I’d be going “you’ve done so well! you deserve a drink after that” But of course one was never enough for Eric (that’s what I called mine).

    • Hiya @heidi19 Well done on Day 2! What’s the plan for 4pm? “Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance”, have some strategies ready to deal with Mona. It’s all about mixing up routines/habits and keeping your mind & hands busy busy busy. This will help you be firm with her when she arrives…she will be persistent & needy. Got lots of AF drinks ready to go? Go for a walk? Run a bath? Read a book? Go to bed early? It will seem totally weird and very scary…but just don’t give Mona any space. We are all here cheering you on xx

      • Crikey @melnz, I tried saying all your p’s in a hurry, nearly lost my teeth! Maybe that could be my homework for 4pm today! Got today done n dusted now for something for all my tomorrows,lol!!

    • Something about imaginary friends. They never last.. Great start @Heidi19! Changing perspective on alcohols role in our life is very important. There is nothing about it worth praise.

      • @Lee, I find the advantage of imaginary friends is that one can brag about having so many friends,lol! Isn’t that just soo sad ah!!

        • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

          Yes it is sad @Heidi19. If your imaginary friends represent your drinking habit (s) and you have so many, then there is that much more work to be done if you want to remain sober. It’s a cute and clever way of looking at things but there’s not much really cute and clever about addiction, is there. Things that replicate drinking are typically excuses to drink. They are our own thoughts which are the driving source for addiction. These thoughts have to be replaced by new ones and it does take time, effort, determination and a full on desire to stop drinking because it’s ruining our lives. Great job on day 2! Keep going!

    • @DaveH, I’m just worried if I go in the opposite direction I may get lost(forget where I was heading) and I’ll have no friends to return me,lol!!

    • Goodluck!

    • Mona was never your friend. She certainly was not the love of your life. She’s a lying, manipulative bitch and does not deserve you your time, your dignity, your liver or your life. She’s a serial destroyer of lives, yours is not the first she has tried to destroy.
      So, yes, take a moment to say goodbye to that lying, scheming bitch, but make sure you spend a lot more time saying hello and welcome back to yourself. I’m sure you’ve missed her a lot more. I’m also sure that you, sober, without mona, are a whole lot more wonderful than you even imagined.
      Welcome to your best life.

      • Wow @ylang-ylang, am I learning so much today! I’m so pleased I can learn about these people obviously we don’t need them in our lives! Thank you for your sound advice! I can’t wait to meet me once again!

      • You are fabulous @ylang-ylang, and please know @heidi19 that she speaks the real and raw Truth xx

    • The stronger you become the smaller monas voice will become. She can’t feed on your fear and guilt if you have none! Very well done for giving her the boot.

      • Thank goodness @rosepetal098, to know that mona’s voice will get quieter, it’s pretty shreiky at the moment!!

        • My mona was deafening. I’m over a year sober and she is only bit a little mouse now. She is still there but can be squashed. You can do it!

    • Aria replied 1 month ago

      She was a false friend. Don’t let her trick you again. We are your real friends.

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