• Hi @Tim. Hope you are doing ok. Haven’t seen you here for a while.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 18 hours, 2 minutes ago

    Hi @Lucy. Welcome back. I remember you from this site ages ok and sometimes wondered how you were. At that time I think we were similar sober days. I’ve been back and forth since then fooling myself I can moderate. What a joke. I’m on day 2. The wine witch is strong and loud at the moment but I’m going to be stronger. Lets do this…. we know life is so kuch beyter sober.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks 😁

  • ginny posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 9 yesterday then blew it. Felt like shit all day today. I’m certainly not missing anything at All! Have put my counter back one day… Don’t want to start again… That’s ok aye. Keep up the great work everyone.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    So true about the moderation word @MaryPP

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Well done. Keep it up. I know it’s so worth it even though I am on day 6.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @DaveH. Have some tools from a counsellor I’m working with. I have journaled previous sobriety so that’s lots of positive writing to look back on. My biggest thing I need to get my head round is “I’m missing out”. I know it’s lies!

    • Hi @ginny congrats on day six! You just won an AF body but yes, the mind still likes to play tricks on us. FOMO (fear of missing out) is a big one but only if you let it be. Just what are we missing out on. My last relapse was a repeat of the gifts that alcohol has given me. The ability to realize that I cannot stop, to lose my physical and mental health, to make an ass of myself, lose my job and then after the wheels have fallen off completely it’s gifted me with yet another horrible detox session asking myself WHY have I done this to myself AGAIN! That’s what I have to wrap my head around. Not missing out on F-ole.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Ha ha. Keep posting!!

  • ginny posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 6 for me. Been back and forth here!! Tried moderation for the umpteenth time…. never works. First few days stopping was hard but starting to feel better already. Need to post regularly. I know sobriety is great!!

    • Wow, I was about to write exactly this myself, almost word for word (I am on Day 2 though)! Will need to think of something else now, haha.
      Good to know I with like-minded people here x

    • Hi @ginny What can you do to keep yourself reminded of this… “Tried moderation for the umpteenth time…. never works.” Can you put it on the fridge? on the bathroom mirror? or can you say it to yourself every morning? The idea … “you’ve got this beat now… you can have just one” is going to come again. What can you do to push it away when it next comes?

      • Thanks @DaveH. Have some tools from a counsellor I’m working with. I have journaled previous sobriety so that’s lots of positive writing to look back on. My biggest thing I need to get my head round is “I’m missing out”. I know it’s lies!

        • Hi @ginny congrats on day six! You just won an AF body but yes, the mind still likes to play tricks on us. FOMO (fear of missing out) is a big one but only if you let it be. Just what are we missing out on. My last relapse was a repeat of the gifts that alcohol has given me. The ability to realize that I cannot stop, to lose my physical and mental health, to make an ass of myself, lose my job and then after the wheels have fallen off completely it’s gifted me with yet another horrible detox session asking myself WHY have I done this to myself AGAIN! That’s what I have to wrap my head around. Not missing out on F-ole.

    • @ginny Was in your shoes last year, the same arguments internally over and over. I had a lightbulb moment recently with that term “moderation”. Only people with addictions or dependencies use the term moderation alongside that thing. If we’re using the idea of moderating to justify doing it, then we are in trouble. We only tell ourselves to moderate when we feel guilt, and we only feel guilt when deep down we know it’s a problem. I don’t tell myself to pat my dog in moderation, or to go grocery shopping in moderation, or to drive my car in moderation. That’s because I do it in moderation without thinking about it. You can’t tell yourself to moderate. If you do, then there’s the sign you can’t 🙂

  • ginny posted an update 6 months, 1 week ago

    Does anyone know where @dave is. His posts were great.

  • ginny posted an update 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Testing @ginny

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome. Post regularly to this great community. 😊

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    I’m wondering the same thing. Have been pushing lots of bottoms. No command key on my laptop 😁 using my phone now.

  • ginny posted an update 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi, everyone. Hope you are all fab!! The new site looks great. Does anyone know how to get smiley faces etc on a laptop? thanks

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    congratulations on 8 weeks, thats awesome

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    thanks, so true about the shit the wine witch doesn’t mention!!

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    thanks

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Stay strong, you are not missing anything…. the wine witch doesn’t remind us about the anxiety, hangovers, eating shit food, guilt, upset tummy etc etc. Remember you are not missing out, you are gaining a lot being sober.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    I was adding a comment to that post saying good on you for saying no @ro.😁

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    If you click on home page you will find counter. Click on top left calendar to go back.

  • ginny posted an update 6 months, 4 weeks ago

    H. 33 days af here. Feel ok just been battling with the wine witch saying life is boring without wine. What a lying bitch she is! Didnt help a friend commenting when i said ive given up the booze again, its no good for my mental health. Her reply was “thats a shame you are good fun on the piss”. Grrrr FFS what a stupid thing to say. I said i didnt need to hear that. Anyway i will keep plodding along. Eating myself silly!!! Take care everyone. Xx

    • NOT helpful and actually an extremely selfish comment from that friend @ginny

      Never mind – congrats on 33 and just concentrate on yourself and exactly what YOU need.

      xxx

    • Be proud you are listening to your inner self and not a well intentioned but misplaced friend. As real friends you should be able to enjoy and laugh without booze (even if she does and you don’t) I have lost 2 friends now I have given up and although I was upset initially I can’t say I have missed them so life moves on. You are doing amazing 🙂

    • It’s so hard when no one in your “real life” understands. People don’t realise how hard this is to do. The first person I told that I had a problem told me that I was being too hard on myself, and it was normal. It’s tough out there but you can do it, Congratulations on day 33.

    • Woohoo! I’m 33 days too. Don’t worry about your friend. I’ve had friends say similar stuff to me, but I don’t care! I’m going to show them that I’m just as fun AF as I was full of champagne and dancing on tables!!

    • My bestie said something similar to me and there was no malice intended. I had to point out to her though that as much fun as I was pissed I was more often obnoxious, shouty, rude, arrogant, flirty, and a danger to myself. Things she also recognised and knew of me too. She now knows I can sing badly, dance silly and be shouty without the booze!

    • The wine witch is so evil! Congrats on keeping he at bay for 33 days! Keep it up @ginny!

      • @ginny well done on day 33! I had this last night from a friend who said she was ‘pissed off with me’ for not drinking a ya wedding night doo we have this Saturday coming. The irony!

    • 33 days! Woot woot! Oh man that wine witch can be such a real ham, can’t she…..just lies left and right. She NEVER talks about things like: “Hey, let’s puke all day and stay in bed all miserable…not remembering what we posted on Facebook, or how about that banging headache…..Or stiff neck….nauseous tummy…..the increased anxiety and depression…….Hmm let’s do THAT.”

      Like a bad car salesman she thinks we will overlook that part…

      oxoxoxox

      But we don’t.
      She has got nothing on us.

      Go you!!

  • ginny posted an update 7 months, 1 week ago

    Day 23 for me. Doing OK. Had wine witch a couple of times hounding me that life is boring without wine. What bullshit. I said H.A.L.T.S to myself which stands for:
    Am I HUNGRY
    Am I ANGRY
    Am I LONELY
    Am I TIRED
    Am I SAD
    I found I was tired. I find H.A.L.T.S works well, and I am usually one or a couple of the above and ask myself will wine make any difference to how I feel – a bit fat NO. Hopefully it will be useful to someone else.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    What a brilliant post. You should read this often. Thanks for sharing. Good on you for being here.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    99 days is great. Awesome.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thats great to hear and so inspirational.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    There is some great reading material out there. Mrs D is going without is great. I’m reading the naked mind by Annie Grace which is helpful.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome. Three weeks is great. Stay close to here.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Good on you for climbing back on wagon. I tried and failed moderate drinking several times. It’s easier for the mind once you decide NONE is best.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Good on you Tim for getting back on the wagon. I found the same with AA. Reading Naked Mind by Annie Grace. I’m finding it helpful.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Pls DONT drink. Will make everything 100 times worse… truly!

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    500 days is awesome. I enjoy your posts… always inspiring and a crack up!

  • ginny posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    On day 3 again! Staying close to here. I know once i get to day 7 it gets easier. I have a few days off work. Automatic thought “i can drink”. I have planned next two nights to keep me off the booze. So important to have a plan. I can hold hand on heart and say life is so much better without the booze!

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    great number. Wow that is impressive. Go you.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    thanks @DaveH. Brilliant post.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    100 days is awesome. Keep going.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    welcome back. Never be ashamed to come back here. Most of us have been there done that. Stay close and awesome the months you have under your belt.

    • Thank you so much @ginny :] I see that now, that I shouldn’t have felt that way. This community always made me feel welcome and accepted for the person that I am. I’m at a much better place with myself today than I was before.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Will check out National Recovery @Ro as u mentioned a lot. Tried AA.. yeh nah. Don’t get people going for years and years and still saying “I’m an alcoholic” when they don’t drink. Works for some though. 487 days sober is farken awesome. 152 days clean awesome. Go girl.

  • ginny posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 3. Woke this morning and said glad I didn’t drink last night. The bitch is already on my shoulders to drink after work today. FFS. I know this gets easier after about a week. Just gotta get through this week. Thanks for reading.

    • Get a plan in place @ginny you can do it!

      • People say that isolating is bad but I had to in order to get though the first week. Did only what I had to and pampered myself the best I could. At home. Alone. Alcohol withdrawal is bad enough. It’s not like you want to hang with people. Hey come over and watch me sweat, itch and cry!!

    • Hi @ ginny. Plan now!

      • I tried to finish my post but my words disappeared. Anyway HALT before you reach for that drink. Don’t get Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I’d add bored to the list, too. Go straight home and to bed. You’re sobriety is worth a couple nights going to bed early. The world can get by on it’s own for awhile.

    • Hang on in there, you can do it. Just focus on today, have your AF strategies in place.

    • some great advice here from others as always, @ginny – flick the bitch, make a plan, know what you’re going to do and whatever you do, stay AF 🙂

    • Hi @ginny These are the ridiculously hard times, but look after the minutes and the days will take care of themselves. Changing your routine will help. Is there some other activity you can organize for that time when you leave work? Most especially Friday?

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yep play it forward. Kick it to the curb.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @Ro. Your post made me laugh. Have no kids and at ripe young age of 48 don’t plan to start needing. Just got to tackle OCD head on like the Wine bitch.

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Don’t beat yourself up. Awesome you are back and not carrying on x

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @mittyr. I have done sober for several months a couple of times and felt great so its great to have sober is great reaffirmed! Gotta get through the next week fighting off the evil wine witch. Then i know it will get easier….. booze wise anyway. Thanks

  • ginny posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Also. Thanks for all the lovely comments when I jumped back on board.

  • ginny posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Got through day 2…. just. Been reading heaps here. So much great advice. Feel like im on a merry go round. Have OCD (germs) which has really ampted up in the last few months. Waiting to get professional help but in the meantime have to fight it myself cause its so out of control. Anyway, no booze is going to help me tackle it. Booze is what I want to have a break from the busy head from the OCD and i feel like a whale so yeh going slightly mad! Had OCD for years but its now interring in my everyday life. The want for booze is strong but the want for peace is stronger! Anyone here suffer OCD around germs that can recommend videos, books? I know i should tackle one thing but I have to do two… stay sober and tackle the OCD. Thanks for reading.

    • Also. Thanks for all the lovely comments when I jumped back on board.

    • Well done on Day 2 Ginny, not got any good tips on OCD but staying off the booze is life transforming in its own right, so great stuff on Day 2 and here’s to day 3 x

      • Thanks @mittyr. I have done sober for several months a couple of times and felt great so its great to have sober is great reaffirmed! Gotta get through the next week fighting off the evil wine witch. Then i know it will get easier….. booze wise anyway. Thanks

    • Hey @ginny I had a mate who had ocd with ‘germs’. She had a kid and it all flew out the window. Well it got a LOT better. So you could have a baby lol 😉
      I however have a love affair with germs and totally believe in them, and hate that loads of people use hand sanitiser and bleach and anti biotics, and I really think that’s why people are so bloody sick. The world isn’t and never has been a sterile place. Somehow you need to flip your thinking – phobia starts somewhere and it can end when you face it. Finding a good therapist would be a start.
      Also dogs. Dogs are the answer to so many things. Kids who have dogs in their lives have way more immunity than kids that don’t. ( all pets than can be petted are good for this but dogs are the winners). It’s prob cos they lick their arses and then lick the kids I’d say-I hope that doesn’t freak you out Im trying to make you larf. I’ll stop.
      Way to go on getting back to being af. It does really make a difference to our mental health in so many ways 🙂

      • Thanks @Ro. Your post made me laugh. Have no kids and at ripe young age of 48 don’t plan to start needing. Just got to tackle OCD head on like the Wine bitch.

  • ginny posted an update 8 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi all. After 6 weeks of trying moderation (again) I’m back here (again). I was trying to stay away from wine and said I could have a couple of beers/cider. Well… I couldn’t stay away from wine (surprise surprise). I admitted to myself today I just can’t moderate! How many times have I tried and failed! Back here starting day 1. I admitted to myself that I drink to get drunk and wine does that job well, and I don’t get the buzz I want after 1 or 2 beers/cider and I can’t stick to rules when it comes to booze so get ya arse back on the wagon. Here I am.

    • Welcome back @ginny. I can soooo relate – wine was my poison too – literally:) Moderation works for some people but not me and as you’ve realised, not you either. AF forever 🙂

    • Great to have you back… moderation is exhausting and takes up sooo much head space… very familiar with the internal moderation debate… good news is sober is total freedom from that debate! It takes time to get used to but is so worth it!

    • Here you are @ginny welcome back 🙂

    • Hi @ginny, l’m back too. X

    • I can’t moderate either. I actually find knowing that conclusively a relief. Leaves me only one choice

    • Glad you’re back @ginny! Once I completely embraced that I could not moderate it changed everything. this is a good turning point!!

    • Well done for getting back on the horse right there! oxoxoxxo Give yourself credit for that. I played with the idea of moderation as well and relapsed 3-4 times before actually staying sober past days 50/140 etc. I always went back thinking “just one…I can do just one now that I’ve proven to myself I can do 50/140 days without…”

      But nope….fuck it. Doesn’t work for me. I don’t want just one beer or two. Screw that. I want an entire case of beer or 1-2 bottles of wine or else what’s the point? I don’t feel buzzed after only 1-2 drinks. Never have, never will.

      So the alcohol has to go. It’s not me, it’s the substance that is the problem.

      oxoxxoxoxoxo

      Hang in there. Let’s do one day at a time.
      You got this.

  • ginny posted an update 10 months ago

    Really struggling with the booze battle. After 3 months sober then falling off the wagon 2 weeks ago things seem to be harder climbing back on the wagon. Looking here everyday. My head is telling me I might as well just drink instead of fighting this battle. I don’t know if I’m coming or going. 3 months sober and I was feeling great then I decided I was missing out! Just need to rant. So tired and fed up with this mind battle. I KNOW BOOZE won’t make anything better only worse. Just have to ride it out.

    • Hi @ginny , this battle is definately worth fighting ! Just try to go forward from here don’t worry about the slips or even the 3 months sober just start again and stock up on those sober tools , we are all behind ya ! Xxx

    • Hi Ginny, think I must be at the stage you were 2 weeks ago! as I’m 10 weeks sober and feeling just as you described. I feel isolated,lonely and fed up and like I’m missing something.I felt great until now and these feelings have knocked me down. I just went to bed early last night because I wanted a drink,of course I didn’t sleep,head whizzing with thoughts.I’m at that stage where I want to moderate.There’s nothing else to do!! Unless you’re a millionaire.I’ve read loads of sobriety books,I go to the gym everyday, I walk my dog.My husbands on Prozac and drinking every night,grieving for the loss of his dad.My kids are at an age where they don’t need me as much anymore.All my friends drink.I just feel sad and I’m having debates in my head.One side telling me to stick with it,the other,fuck it,life’s too short. I know to have a drink is the easy way out,but life’s hard enough!!!help x

    • I know how you feel, I had 42 days and then crashed. This second round seems to go slower but back to 28 days now and the struggle with the alcohol is easier, it’s just the life thing I am finding a bit harder, the staying upbeat, being positive and just dealing with it all is exhausting at times. Looking forward it will get better, I am certain of that so just have to knuckle down for now.
      Thinking of you and sending you cyber hugs.xx

    • Yes @ginny you are right, booze wont make it better and you need to ride it out. You are in control! A while back I had been going through a similar battle and I took a look at Rational Recovery http://www.rational.org which just blew my mind… so simple, and empowering. Also if you havent seen Belles website http://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com then check it out too… you can subscribe to free one minute messages… i used to listen to them over and over. Very helpful. Finally, when youre in the middle if those feelings it does feel like youll be stuck there forever and the only way out is to ‘give in’ and drink… but that is part of the trap, not the escape. These thoughts and feelings will pass, you will come out the other side and you will be stronger. Keep going. X

    • Hi @ginny, tell me the in-depth version of what/why/how you took that first drink after such a long time. (I’m chalking up 3 months this wkend. And, although I’m slowly coming to terms with being an alcoholic and not really ‘hangin’ out’ for a drink, I’m waiting for spears to fly with this 3month bizzo)

    • As a serial 90 day relapser I feel quite well qualified to comment on this!! For me it was an ego thing…that I truly never believed that I needed to stop, that I would fix something (diet, exercise, meditation…anything!) and that would fix me and I would go back to moderating. That 90 days was proof that I was ok. Of course it never worked that way and pretty soon I would be worse than ever. The other thing was that around that time I would start getting a bit bored and agitated with the space that I had carved out with not drinking…I didn’t know how to fill all my spare time!
      I think I have broken through that now (never say never) but I really think it’s why they say just one day at a time. Just focus on doing the right thing today and you’ll nail this thing!

    • hey, @ginny, looks like you have a lot of good advice here. I am newer at sober living, 29 days today. Until I am two years sober, I am not going to say that the sober life fits me like a glove. I love it. I am still not filling my time, i have always sought excitement and why the hell i thought alcohol = excitement, I do not know. any time i think about taking a drink, and i do think about taking a drink, i just think back to how much time i wasted, how i loathed myself drinking, how i was at times suicidal but refused to seek care, and how i wish i had quit drinking sooo long ago. it just never occurred to me to quit drinking. amazing!!!!! pat yourself on your back, make a list of what you hate about your life now, play the videos in your head, don’t forget. Get sober, make a list of what you like, play the videos in your head, and HOLD ON FOR THE LONG RIDE. and what a great ride these 29 days have been, best. just don’t pick up the drink.

  • ginny posted an update 10 months ago

    Pulling all stops out after my relapse after 92 days AF. So here I am.

    • Wow, you did well getting to three months, all the same. Relapses happen, but you’re back in the game, that’s all that matters.

    • ginny, 92 days is an AMAZING accomplishment and every single (!) one of those days still matters and counts. I lapsed around day 140 or 150 before I finally stuck with it. You’re not alone in this. oxoxoxox Let’s dust off and hops, right back up on that horse ya go girl!!!

  • ginny posted an update 10 months ago

    Grrrr. Would have been 100 days sober today. Fell off the wagon at 92 days. Had three major sessions in the last week. Back to AA last night. I felt so good sober for 3 months then decided i was missing out…guess what… IM NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING… who misses hangovers, blackouts, poor decisions, anxiety, moods etc etc. Back on the wagon quickly. No one can take my 3 sober months away though.

    • Proud of you @ginny! I’m sorry you fell back in, but so happy you have jumped back on. You can do this!

    • Well hey, you realised pretty bloody quickly that it wasn’t worth it – that’s something!! The 92 days still count for A LOT. Don’t let the last week count for anything, it’s just a blip. You were reminded why you stopped, and you were reminded quickly. So many of us can relate to the feeling of missing out – some of us far sooner than hitting 92 days!! I had four day 1s this year, and this time I’m fully into it but it took the slips to recognise that thought process of missing out etc, and I would suffer a lot more through this if I didn’t have the slip ups to reflect on, as they help me remember why I’m doing it.

    • @ginny glad you’ve jumped right back on with us.

    • congrats on getting right back to be sober while you still have not crawled too far back up into bottle.

      • Good for you! Sounds like you learned a lot, and that the slip is an important part of your journey. By posting about it, others may learn from your experience – another positive…

    • Oh yes. The dreaded “field research.” Glad you are back with us! Carry on!

  • ginny posted an update 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yehaa. 80 days AF free, 10 weeks smoke free! Im feeling great. My life is so much beta in so many ways. No anxiety, shame, excessive worry, more money, clear head, and more confident! Of couse there have been bumps in the road along the way. Had a little thought tonight… maybe i can be a normal drinker one day… he he who is the wine witch trying to kid. Hope my post gives others some inspiration, sobriety is great.

  • ginny posted an update 10 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi everyone, hope you are well. Im 76 days AF. Its amazing how much one gets done when not drinking. Had a big declutter of house. During cleaning I thought it would be fun to have A wine and cig (6 weeks smoke free) after cleaning. I then thought, the first hour or two would be fun then all down hill from there. That worked and I didnt think about it again. Feeling great. Sobriety rocks.

    • @ginny that’s great! Thinking it right through! The immediate so-called ‘reward’ of the hit, then, yes all the way downhill! So not worth it! Yaay!

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