• So excited. Found an awesome cast iron grittle to put on my BBQ. I was going to get a whole table but found this instead. It weighs a tonne but I wanted something to put my big Dutch oven on that would hold the charcoal in place on the top and the bottom of the pot. I love to BBQ and it is a hobby I love. I am always collecting BBQ and BBQ accessories! Yup! My partner didn’t want one more large piece of equipment on our back deck so this is perfect. (I have to save a space for the grill of all grills “The Big Green Egg”! I will have one some day! Anyway. Enough blathering about BBQs and grills. Haha. Have a fab day everyone!

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    That’s a real coincidence. That is very near where I went to treatment and my favourite councillor is from Bear River. A wonder, amazing lady.

  • Good morning from rainy Nova Scotia. Having the morning java and a little peace before the household wakes up. It is now my favourite time of day. Actually it always was my favourite I just forgot for a few decades. Haha. Have a lovely weekend friends.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Haha. Would have been waaaay worse if I was drinking @morgan! I don’t imagine I would have responded quite so quickly.

  • Well I went and broke my house again! I turned on a faucet and then heard what sounded like an indoor water feature coming down the inside of the walls. Now I am the absolute worst person to be home during these kind of moments. Haha. I called my partner at work “How do I shut the water off”! Ok got that sorted. Then I went immediately to the wet/dry vac to get water off our new flooring (I love this flooring)! Set it all up began to vac and then all the water blew out the backside all over the walls ……hmmmmm…..there was dirt in the wet/dry vac! Sorted out the filter and away we went. Got all the water sucked up. By then everyone came home and took over. Holy money pit this house and it’s 16 years old! Shoddy corner cutting builders! Thank god we have family/ friend carpenters and really thank god I have a plumber nephew! All is well now and no one got all raging or angry or anything. It was actually quite hilarious! We are going to replace all the lines so it never happens again. What an amusing day.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yes ours does the best out of some number as well. I will talk to the union about that

  • What to do with this new day? I was feeding the pups this am and thinking I always thought of that as a chore. It is not feeling like a chore anymore just a normal morning in a normal household. Always being hung over made it a chore.

    I have to start considering what next year will look like at school. I am considering going back 50% but there may be unintended pension issues with that strategy. I’m not sure who to talk to about that. I’m not worried about money at this time but I don’t want another situation where I made a bad decision and it affects me years later.

    Th first few months being off work I didn’t know what to do with myself and slept a lot. Now I am in the swing of this and am really enjoying this slow pace. Morning coffee, reading, writing then walking the dogs , going to town for whatever , afternoon snooze then tidying the house and getting supper on the table. It seems so peaceful and quiet. I love the quiet so much.

    Still a few months left to decide. One of my friends is a vice principal at a local high school. She would like me to come work there next year. They are putting on “Mama Mia” and due to a very strange time period it is really hard to find a band teacher / conductor for the show. I am very interested in doing that show. My very favourite thing in the whole world is playing in the pit for musicals. Usually as a musician but I would love to take the reigns and conduct this show. Mama Mia isn’t my favourite show but I would love to do it anyway. I think that is what I will aim for in the fall. That will only be one semester. I guess it will all sort itself out. It always does. I do know for sure I do not want to go back to a three school circuit. They don’t pay me enough for that anymore! Haha. A bit of a long babble today. Thanks for listening! Have a great day!

    • Can you get some advice about the pension issue, so you know what’s what? With ours, it depends how close you are to retirement, as they take the best three years of the last 10.

    • Yes ours does the best out of some number as well. I will talk to the union about that

    • Good for you for starting to look ahead @gilligan5323. So great that you have arranged it so that you are in a sober place now, decisions will be a million times more rationale!!!

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    I’m a trumpet player. That totally explains the addiction to alcohol! Haha. That sounds like a fabulous concert. The French Horn takes great ears. Best challenge ever. Congratulations!

  • A new fresh Spring day in the Maritimes. What shall I do today? I am happy to have the choice to decide what to do because I am not sick as a dog. I will get the pups on the trail for sure. Waverly’s leg is healing nicely now finally. She didn’t like it when I left her behind the last two weeks because she wasn’t healed. Today we can go play. I love my retrievers! A few chores and then making a nice chicken pot pie for supper. Everything is out and ready. I could never be this organized before. Very nice vibes today. Have a good one!

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Ooo another 🎼 musician. What do you play?

    • French horn. Only been playing 18 months, but we have this wonderful open access, but aspiring to the best standards we can, orchestra here, so even as such a beginner, I get to play wonderful music and with many excellent players. And because our conductor is such a charismatic and amazing man, he gets top professionals to play with us as part of their concert preparation. One of the UK’s top violinists playing Tchaikovsky’s violin concerto yesterday – we could hardly keep up!
      What about you?

      • I’m a trumpet player. That totally explains the addiction to alcohol! Haha. That sounds like a fabulous concert. The French Horn takes great ears. Best challenge ever. Congratulations!

  • There seems to be a lot of angst on the feed today so I think I will just send hugs and good thoughts to all of you. xxxxx

    • oxoxoxox Ohhh thanks heaps!!! I’ll take all of the hugs I can get! I’ve been watching Queer Eye on Netflix ever since @Mrs. D recommended it, and boy has it been sweet and healing. I just envy them when they do all those hugs, lol. I want one from the Fab 5 as well!!! 🙂

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Love the last line! Must try and remember that one. So happy for you!

  • gilligan5323 posted an update 4 months ago

    The bull dog I have been babysitting is going home today. He is sweet but very, very noisy! He is also very demanding. He keeps stealing my chair. Haha. It’s been fun but time for you to go home mister! My Golden was put on anti- anxiety meds yesterday. Oh dear. She is healing but has a deep muscle infection that will take a long time on antibiotics to heal. She is a little trooper. Her name is Waverly. Anyway as you can tell my life has gone to the dogs. My for little Chocolate Lab isn’t getting all the attention like usual because of demanding bull dog and sticky Golden! Haha.

    I am really well otherwise. I am back on Naltrexone which has always helped immensely. It’s expensive but worth it for me. I haven’t even had any cravings for all this week. That is a miracle in itself. I think slowly my life is emerging without alcohol and it is emerging better and happier.

    • I’m envious re: the dogs. I want a dog sooooo bad. My husband is against having one. He’s going to have to go.
      Glad to hear your life is getting better and happier!

    • @gilligan5323 I would love a dog too but I sleep in on the weekends because of my thyroid and then gone at work. I don’t want to leave a doggy by themselves that much. My Mom has two and so I go get my fill of love from them whenever possible. Hope Waverly gets to feeling better. xoxox

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    I love Alton Brown shows

  • gilligan5323 posted an update 4 months ago

    Off to the vet this am with my Golden. She had a biopsy done and has been living with chronic deep muscle infection for two years and they have only just discovered the problem. My poor pup. Long term antibiotics for her. At least they finally figured it out.

    I guess I finally figured me out too. Long term chronic alcohol abuse. No beer/wine makes me fine. I think I will stick with that today. Have a good weekend.

    • Hugs to you, and to your Goldie. I’m glad they’ve finally found out what’s going on and she feels much better soon. Mine is a furry, naughty delight! And yes, no booze makes us feel much better too xx

    • Poor pup! At least now you know where it’s all going.

  • gilligan5323 posted an update 4 months ago

    I just got home from a second trip to town. I really like the feeling of getting in my car and going whenever I like. Usually I would have had a few beer in me by 4pm and going to town was not an option. Feels like freedom.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    The tracker is called Dailyo I believe. I will check for sure. It’s funny because I saw my psychologist today and she asked me to track my moods.

  • gilligan5323 posted an update 4 months ago

    Good morning. All is good here and Spring is definitely on here on the East coast. Enjoying walking the trails again. They are still full of ice but can be managed if I am careful.

    I found a helpful tool. I downloaded a mood tracker. I am hoping to spot patterns in my moods/cravings. I think every bit of information can help. I am feeling really good and happy and I don’t think about alcohol much now. It’s taken almost 6 months but I am developing a more healthy daily pattern and there is no room in there for booze.

    Still thinking about my NZ friends. The shock may slow down but now I think about you all trying to process the reality of what happened. Sending love…love…love

    • oxxooxxo Good morning!! Uhh I like that mood tracker!! You’re absolutely right, every bit of information can help. Sometimes when I feel low I am really just hungry or tired…those are two big ones. But I forget….and then feel all pissed off/sad/angry/scared/lonely…well one good meal and 8 hours of sleep….voila….all is well. I wish someone had installed a “always balanced mood” genome in my DNA, lol, it would make a day easier.

      oxoxoxo

    • Ahhh the joy of Mud Season! Right with you enjoying this budding spring.

    • Hey @Gilligan there’s a book titled- Alcohol in A Nutshell, that you can download for free, that describes how cravings are created and how to banish them for good. I just read it and found it incredibly helpful.

    • A mood tracker is such a great idea!!! I need to do that as well. Suggestions??

    • Oohh what’s the name of the mood tracker?!

    • The tracker is called Dailyo I believe. I will check for sure. It’s funny because I saw my psychologist today and she asked me to track my moods.

    • Sounding good, @gilligan5323. Quirky, why do you want to track your mood? And, there’s a generic app which tells you? Heh. Did I miss something here?

  • gilligan5323 posted an update 4 months ago

    Another day. Thank you so much for the comments yesterday. It is really encouraging to have help with all of this. I am so fortunate in life. I think Inwill stop sweating the small stuff and just enjoy being.

    Went out for sushi Saturday night and had a blast. No booze involved by anyone. Had the parents over for turkey yesterday (Sun). All they talked about was doctors appointments and sick people. my partner lamented that fact after they left and I said “What else do they have to talk about”? Haha. That’s all they do now is go to the doctors. We are trying to be “patient” with them! Haha.

    I can’t imagine how our lovelies from NZ are coping. Just know I am still thinking about you. Sending…love….love…love.

    • ❤️❤️

    • So oood to have fun without drugs 🙂 So hard to listen to those wrapped up in their ‘conditions’ without it though 🙁 🙁 But easier to be patient when straight. So sad to end up in that place…

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    No I am n a good space. I am enjoying my new found freedom.

  • gilligan5323 posted an update 4 months ago

    Can we discuss the counter? I haven’t changed mine because changing it indicates complete and utter failure to me since I began this journey in October. In October I called my principal and told him I had to go to rehab. It was a massive, huge, brave, positive undertaking for me that I do not regret to this day. On that very ill day in October I truly decided to change my life. ( This is really hard to write with a bull dog in my lap licking his toes)! I consider that my sobriety date because that is when real change happened for me.

    In the 146 days since I began this journey I relapsed once. I read DaveH’s post and found it very positive and helpful and reassuring but there is still that thing with the counter (hmmmmm Virgo-mania). Do I erase it and start again or do I let it sit there as it is with my 146 days – 1 ($4000+) and see it as the beginning of my journey to freedom with a remission somewhere in the middle?

    I would love to hear your thoughts on this as for me I am not sure what to do with this.

    • @Gilligan5232 I changed mine because if I didn’t I may feel like it’s not a big deal to drink, that I’ll just lose a day, when it is a tremendously big deal. I also feel like I have to be truly honest with myself. Denial kept me drinking and destroying my life for a very long time. The numbers keep me humble and if I were to just add up all of my sober time only I would look like a huge success but the fact is that I have had some setbacks and need to look at those. You don’t lose that sober time, it’s like gaining interest in anything and we get better at it. That’s just my view.

    • Nope, can’t discuss the counter. Oh hey, hey, hey just kidding. We discuss it all the time! I guess that since really, you’re the only one who can see your counter, it is yours to do what you want with. It is Living Sober’s gift to you, for being a member here. Different members HAVE approached that topic different ways, and you can too. Personally, I like your second idea, the 146 – 1, because that is what YOU like. It makes you feel better, I like that. What would I do? Mute point, for more than one reason.

      • Your right @Tom4500 To each their own. The biggest thing is not to drink, the rest are just accessories. You say you have x amount of days AF or x amount of days since my last drink. I just prefer the later as I’d like it to be my last. Once again, that’s just me.

    • The counter is a tool to enable our recovery journey. If setting it back to zero is going to make you throw your hands up in the air and say what’s the point and give into alcohol, then please don’t set it back. What matters is your state of mind. Did you learn from that one day when you drank, or do you feel like you’re tottering on the edge? I think that’s a more effective barometer than the counter.

    • Good Sunday morning @gilligan5323. I agree with everything above! My take though is that we are very hard on ourselves and everything I read on this site and other self help books is that we should be kinder to ourselves! I would definitely lean in that direction with the counter!

    • @gilligan5323 – i agree with all of the above as well. it is really not about the counter, it is about staying sober after you drink again, being extra kind to yourself, allowing yourself time to process and not put yourself in same position again. also, remember how many days sober v non sober in last year, then add it up again the next year and the next year. obviously percentage wise, you are doing excellent. be kind to yourself.

    • Such a good question! I’ve seen it come up a few times, so you’re not alone. I lapsed 3-4 times and reset my counter every single time. That final time I was at 150 plus days and it HURT to reset it but it felt right for me. Everyone is different, there are no rules for that, I believe. Whatever you feel comfortable with, do that. And it’s ok to think about it and sleep over it. The answer will come. You don’t have to make a decision today, tomorrow, or next week about that.

    • Like most have said it’s a personal thing @gilligan5323. For me, it’s incredibly important that I continually recognize the day that I finally got it and committed to living an AF life. For me that was 434 days ago. I’ve had a few slips along the way. The last one being 239 days ago. I definitely learned from each slip so they have been part of the journey. So for me it’s 434/239.

    • It’s a personal thing in my opinion. Do what is right for you, and whatever is needed to strengthen your sober path. You are going so amazingly well- why make things hard? Treat yourself with loving kindness I say 🙂

    • I had it both ways @gilligan5323….I wish when I had five years that AA allowed the one day reset because I would have never had gone out and stayed out for seven years because of the shame. On the other hand I count on my days because they really keep me in gratitude mode and honest with myself. It’s definitely a personal thing depending on where you are at in your heart, mind and recovery. 🙂

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hi @peterf. This is a wonderful place with real people who don’t judge and really connect on the site. Glad to have you with us.

  • gilligan5323 posted an update 4 months ago

    Oh my dog!…….. I mean god! I am baby sitting a bull dog for the week of March Break here in NS. Holy cling on! He is positively hilarious! His name is Gary for starters. Haha. Gary the bull dog insists on being on my lap whenever I sit in my reading/writing chair. He goes through great pains to make sure I put him up there with me. And he doesn’t bark….he kind of honks! What a character. My dogs are really ticked at this little fellow but are tolerating him. Being a retriever person I have never had the bulldog experience before. What a little comic he is. This should be a fun / busy / entertaining week. I think alcohol would definitely taken the hilarity out of this situation. We are calling it “Camp Gilli” (my nick name) here this week!

    Stay strong my beautiful NZ friends. You are in my thoughts. Sending..love…love…love…

    • Oh you are the best pet sitter ever!!! Gary sounds utterly hilarious! My daughter (studying away in another city) is going for a job as a pet sitter just so she can get the cuddles !!!

    • Aww sounds like a fun time, you have your hands full!

    • @gilligan5323 that’s so cute! I fell in love with a friends bulldog at work named Kevin. He had some of those adorable quirks too. So glad you are enjoying yourself with him. haha!

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    So many thoughts of you all…. Sending love and more love

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Hugs and prayers but also a very deep love for you all.

  • 🕯

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Lockdowns are so scary even for teachers.

  • Just read the news… My friends…just sending love.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks for that@Mari135. I think teachers have letting people down guilt built into their DNA. Lol. I have never had a maternity leave. I’m in my mid 50’s so the kids have finally begun to wear me down. This slow down is much needed. I spent most of my career teaching and being in the military at the same time so it was bound to crash at some point. haha

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Really? I will look those up. Thanks

  • Good morning folks. Yesterday I came to the realization that I really need to structure my time. I’m a quick one! Lol. It only took me 6 months being away from my job to figure that one out. I basically have another 6 months off before I decide if I am going back or not and I came to realize that I need more structure than most people do in order for my monster brain 🧠 to not take over. “You are alone all day with no responsibilities…..go on…..you can do whatever you want……drink….drink….drink…..”. You all know how that goes.

    My strategy is to structure time before that nasty voice has a chance to rear its’ ugly head. My partner….who is very organized…is helping me with this. Because of ADHD I have a very difficult time structuring myself. Honestly I have no idea how I managed to do my job for all these years except that I am really good at flying by the seat of my pants. Lately I don’t seem to have the energy for that shit anymore. Sooo….My partner is helping me organize my day so it has lots of things to be checked off and lots of things that require me to get moving and get out of the house.

    Next week is March Break here and one of my teacher friends is leaving her bull dog with my pack for the week so next week is golden! Haha. I will have three bouncy canines to care for and I love that. I might have to start some kind of dog service or something.

    So I thought I would keep myself accountable and let you folks know how I am managing my practice retirement so there are no monster brain flare ups.

    It is still winter like here but there are definitely signs of renewal all around. Enjoy a peaceful day folks.

    • There is so much I can relate to in your post..thanks for sharing this! The structure is a big thing. Too much time to think and the human brain latches onto this and that and then back to this. Just know you are normal and you deserve this year (sabbatical, I assume) so very much. A lot of my teacher friends are burned out after only a few years on the job. We are in our early 30’s and the majority is either on maternity leave (indefinitely) or already reducing to part-time. It zaps it out of ya. You go take those 6 months and if all you do is hang around in the yard, all the more power to you!!!! oxoxox Nothing to do, nothing to ‘fix’, nothing to get right. You have the right to just be and renew, like nature does so well.

      • Thanks for that@Mari135. I think teachers have letting people down guilt built into their DNA. Lol. I have never had a maternity leave. I’m in my mid 50’s so the kids have finally begun to wear me down. This slow down is much needed. I spent most of my career teaching and being in the military at the same time so it was bound to crash at some point. haha

    • I remember seeing ads on tv for dog walking apps???

    • The thought of having to structure my time is rather worrying – I love the long summer holidays with a passion, but have spent my whole career in horror at how little I achieve! Retirement or a sabbatical (never likely 🙁 🙁 🙁 )seems a glorious idea, but… mmm would I simply drift through the days in oblivion?

    • oh, i sure agree with you about structure. i have basically rearranged my life or am busy rearranging my life around the concept that i need to keep structure in my life as long as i can, for me it means work, responsibility, having a full calendar. so i can certainly relate. same thing, trying to change my job because i have no freaking idea how the heck i got everything done drinking every day, but not going to keep on the hamster wheel just getting by with all the loose ends. we have this thing called rover where people can leave there dogs at your house for like 25 a day or something. that could be fun.

  • The sun is out and the weather is getting a little warmer. That always helps the state of mind. I have been busy with my oldest pup the last few days. She had a biopsy done on her leg. What we thought for years was arthritis may be something else entirely. The Docs think it is some kind of infection. They biopsies it to find out what kind of antibiotics to give her. Poor thing has been treated incorrectly for about two years. I guess that’s why it is called a medical practice! Lol. Have a great day all.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Good point. Maybe I should see if there is. There are walking groups around.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    I mostly liked to be in the woods. Right now it is too full of ice but I guess that will change soon enough. Just a claustrophobic time of year. I am looking forward to getting on the water with my kayak. I am definitely an outdoor person.

    • Me too, just being outside in nature ‘mends’ me so yes, understand the bad weather cabin fever.
      I’m motorbiking more than climbing and canoeing these days though, as getting older! And I belong to a sociable riding group, so when we can’t ride during the winter, there are still meet-ups with talks and so on.
      Are there any kayaking groups around locally for you, who maybe get together even if they can’t get outside?

    • I am an outdoor person too. I love kayaking and hiking. All that fresh air. Have a great day!

  • I wonder if at my age you just start to feel left out of stuff. I have always been a very busy person but lately I feel like I don’t belong anywhere anymore. I am not comfortable at work. The other teachers are so much younger and I feel like I don’t have anything in common with them anymore. I still have my military family but we are all scattered everywhere and don’t see each other much. I wonder if this has more to do with age than anything else.

    I think I have lost my passion for the music business. It used to be all I thought about. Now I am in this weird transition phase where I don’t want anything to do with it. I haven’t played anything in the six months I have begun this journey. I feel like something comes next but I have no idea what. Floundering by the beach. Lol

    • That sounds hard. And like you need a new ‘tribe’. I’m sorry music isn’t doing it for you any more. A different sort of music group maybe? Or something entirely new? Apart from music, what did you love doing as a kid?

    • I mostly liked to be in the woods. Right now it is too full of ice but I guess that will change soon enough. Just a claustrophobic time of year. I am looking forward to getting on the water with my kayak. I am definitely an outdoor person.

      • Me too, just being outside in nature ‘mends’ me so yes, understand the bad weather cabin fever.
        I’m motorbiking more than climbing and canoeing these days though, as getting older! And I belong to a sociable riding group, so when we can’t ride during the winter, there are still meet-ups with talks and so on.
        Are there any kayaking groups around locally for you, who maybe get together even if they can’t get outside?

      • I am an outdoor person too. I love kayaking and hiking. All that fresh air. Have a great day!

    • Hang in there, @gilligan5323! I look back at my midset at 3, 6, and 9 months and they are all very different although each felt solid. I seemed to settle at 9 months. There is a reason why we are told not to make any major decisions in the first 12 months. I now know why. Plus we’re all tired of winter and have cabin fever! C’mon spring and warmer weather!

    • There is definitely a huge change as we age – someone posted an article about how women become invisible at a certain age. I didn’t dare read it, and felt challenged to rise up and not care!!! We have to find our way to peace and contentment, and being secure in our wisdom – things like that right?
      I guess I have had a lot of practice as I could never keep up with the ‘in’ crowd – missed the jokes, somehow was seen as ‘different; but could never grasp why. Can only laugh and enjoy the things I love, and relish the people who do love and get me

      • I agree that age can have something to do with it as the kids are grown if you have them doing their own thing, have an empty nest – younger generation at work can be fun but I don’t usually have anything in common either, I stopped some routines I had after I sold my last home a few years ago. Need to create new groups to do things with! Hope you feel better it’s bound to warm up soon (I say with snow on the ground!)

    • hey, @gilligan5323 – it is winter. remember. hibernation. it will all come to you in time.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Of course you are and you have every right to feel that way. What a betrayal.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Good job. It’s hard sometimes I know that for sure but there is the peace that comes from waking up not hung over.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yup…I hear ya. I notice how badly I self criticize if I make a small error in judgement or say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. I would never treat my students the way I treat myself. It is a hard habit to break. I was thinking something similar when I woke up this morning. I came to the conclusion that I was doing this to myself for over 50 years so I probably won’t be able to fix it in the 6 months that I began this new journey into AF. I have decided I need to give myself a break and like the previous post “catch myself” when I think and behave appropriately.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    The things I have read are that the abuse of alcohol can change gene expression so I don’t imagine that gets cured overnight. It’s fascinating stuff. There is so much new research.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    I’m sorry for your struggles Thor. We will be here when you check in again. Sending love.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Are you serious? That is the most heinous thing I have ever heard of. There is no excuse for that. I am so sorry that has happened to you.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    I was bored I think and that isn’t likely to happen again. I only seem to do really ridiculous things once. Except for drinking of course but I am certainly not going to do that.

    • I get bored easily too. I can’t wait for Spring this year, it just seems like this Winter has been over long even though it was pretty mild. I want to take long walks and dig in my garden.

  • Didn’t leave the house yesterday. The weather was just too slippery and dangerous. I got shack wacky! Today I will be able to get out and go for a drive in the sun.

    Spring can’t come soon enough. The trails by my house are still ice covered and tretorous so I haven’t been on them for two weeks at least. I am normally on them every day. Even with walking poles it is just too dangerous. This is bad for me because I need a certain amount of physical activity to keep me centred. I do really stupid shit if I haven’t run down my energy. Not drinking but other stupid shit.

    So…what did I do this time? Well….I gambled online with the local lottery. Thank god you have to out in a preset gaming limit. I haven’t told my partner yet who will absolutely have a fit. I just couldn’t stop myself. WTF? Not much money was lost but still. Even my Bifentin didn’t help me this time. That is my ADHD med. I am sure it happened because I have been out of my usual routine of walking the dogs on the trail and keeping moving. I suppose at least it wasn’t booze.

    The ability to do things without thinking first has landed me in many interesting places like Abu Dhabi but I really think I should have grown out of this behaviour by 56. But here we have it folks. I have not. Yet another lesson learned. It is difficult to manage my disability sometimes. I get frustrated. Maybe I need to find another support group for this issue. I will have to spend all my time in support groups! Haha. Oh my. Well thanks for listening to this. Now to put out this little fire. Have a good one folks!

    • Oh my, I’ve deliberately never gambled because I’m afraid I’d become addicted. That’s tough, but think how much ickier you would feel if you’d had a drink. So many people here wishing for Spring and the ability to just get outside whenever they need to.

      • I was bored I think and that isn’t likely to happen again. I only seem to do really ridiculous things once. Except for drinking of course but I am certainly not going to do that.

        • I get bored easily too. I can’t wait for Spring this year, it just seems like this Winter has been over long even though it was pretty mild. I want to take long walks and dig in my garden.

    • You are amazing @gilligan5323 ….I don’t know how you do it. I had to laugh though because of your blatant honesty. Just makes you adorable. Spend all your time in support meetings! hahahaha! I am sorry it’s something else to deal with. I wonder what’s worse that or massive health issues. My health issues stress me out and I can’t control those either so I have to go back to gratitude and remember the only thing I control is my reaction to things. It’s hard!

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    OH thank goodness! I am so happy to hear that @mari135. I really enjoy your posts. Get better soon.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you. Nice to have a happy home again

  • Winter storm day 2. All the schools are closed. Snow then ice. Spring is around the corner!

    I thought this morning I would reflect on my family life. It has changed so much since I quit drinking. The house is so much happier. My whole relationship was built around large amounts of alcohol but my partner was totally on board with the change.

    Today we are both happy and content. My brother-in-law is another matter but again a reminder of why I don’t want to go back to alcohol. I was feeling pretty good this morning when I went out to the garage for something and saw there were three bags of recyclables full of red Budweiser cans. Three extra large bags! None of those cans were mine.

    I will now spend my money on extra fun things for me and my partner. Haha. Like PlayStation games…I have switched addictions! That’s ok. Video games are not going to make me hung over.

    Life is constantly improving as I stay away from alcohol. Good day folks. Have a great one.

    • Hi Gilligan, I quit last year in what was supposed to be spring. I remember it was cold for soooo long, we went from winter to summer. It looks like this year may be the same which is so disappointing. Polar Vortex be damned!! So glad those Buds are not for you! I played a lot of Angry Birds to pass the time. Nothing wrong with fun games, especially if you play them with your partner! xo

    • Isn’t that just the best- your family is better off because of your sobriety. Even though it’s something we have to do for ourselves at first the results reach further than just ourselves. Well done you!

    • Fabulous post. It is wonderful when life is discovered and the wreckage averted.
      Well done!!!!!

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    You haven’t let me down..I have been where you are. You can make it better from here. Relapse is part of the recovery process for some.

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Oh my a little different on the coast. Haha. Snow day!

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Haha. Animals are a riot. My three year old is a chocolate lab and very high energy so snow storms are perfect for her

  • gilligan5323 posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    I love playing with the dogs out in the snow. One of mine is only three and has a blast.

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