• getclear posted a new activity comment 3 hours, 25 minutes ago

    @kitten…I’ve been trying self care too but it doesn’t seem to be working. I can’t get past the stigma of counseling too. I cannot be found out so to speak. The depression is profound though. I guess I just have to hope I can do the right thing and get the confidence back. Looks like you’re doing well! Seems you’ve got this!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 3 hours, 43 minutes ago

    @lynnelowe…. does feel like a very supportive community doesn’t it. No free passes, still everyone tries hard to get us all on board but no judging is real. I guess we’ve all just walked the walk so….

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 3 hours, 48 minutes ago

    Thanks @hammer123, I like that you said AF is a process not a test because I surely have failed that. Seems the more I say don’t drink I do! I’m trying again, I’ll try what you said, try to get 6 days….then maybe 7. I do so want to remove the shit feelings from my life

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 3 hours, 53 minutes ago

    Thanks@kitten….did you see a counselor?

    • I did not see a counselor. I had a friend that I could talk about how absolutely in the throes of hell i was, as she was too. she went on medication and was miraculously better and i lost my friend to moan and groan with. I would still like to go see a counselor. I have the hardest time being self employed and setting personal appointments. I am trying to get better, self care.

    • @kitten…I’ve been trying self care too but it doesn’t seem to be working. I can’t get past the stigma of counseling too. I cannot be found out so to speak. The depression is profound though. I guess I just have to hope I can do the right thing and get the confidence back. Looks like you’re doing well! Seems you’ve got this!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 9 hours, 47 minutes ago

    Thanks @LuluD. I listen to her podcasts. They are ok but not real inspiring sometimes. Just thought maybe the 30 day thing might keep me accountable. Maybe I’ll read her book first. Maybe if I understood why I can’t stop the hamster wheel I’d be able to. I don’t know

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 9 hours, 50 minutes ago

    Funny how quickly we can fall into routines and habits. Right ?! I think it’s great you’re wanting to change up your nightly routine. Thinking I’ll try the same

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 13 hours, 42 minutes ago

    Yea me neither @lynnelowe. Every Monday is day one for me

    • Yep don’t know why I do it, a habit.. even 1 glass of wine makes me feel not good next day now…. getting older. It is something to do with association of having a treat, of fun… I am not good at steady habits .

    • Thanks for this, yep, have been for months before, but slip into old habits. Let’s do this.

      • @lynnelowe, after many many years I finally accepted I can’t mod either, I’m either on or bloody off, like an electric switch. And Yup I don’t know if it’s age that make the killer hangovers or in reality are we just snowballing with the booze and not acknowledging that? Maybe both 😕 great your back in the saddle and positive, you got this xx

  • Has anyone here done Annie Graces alcohol experiments? Thoughts? I’m just trying to come up with something to make me not drink on the weekends. Will power just doesn’t seem to be working

    • Her book and facebook website is great! I actually did the audiobook. Lots of great information.

      • Thanks @LuluD. I listen to her podcasts. They are ok but not real inspiring sometimes. Just thought maybe the 30 day thing might keep me accountable. Maybe I’ll read her book first. Maybe if I understood why I can’t stop the hamster wheel I’d be able to. I don’t know

    • Yes, a year ago I did the 30 Day Alcohol Experiment, all done online & it was free, not sure if it still free. Like you, I wanted to be focused for 30 days and have a positive distraction from drinking alcohol. It helped me enormously so I highly recommend. Got an email everyday for 30 days, each day a new topic with video all relating to alcohol, how the brain works, socialising sober etc etc. Also gives option to journal your own progress & thoughts over the 30 days plus read comments from others doing the experiment, has an online community like LS. I read her book after doing the 30 day experiment. If her Alcohol Experiment is still free, then you’ve got nothing to loose by giving it a go

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 16 hours, 39 minutes ago

    @lee. I cannot imagine 4 months. Seems impossible.

    • Don’t think about 4months. Just do one day, then another, then another. Once you get that shit out of your system it will get easier!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 17 hours, 22 minutes ago

    @leslielily….do feel exactly like I have no choice sometimes. Feel like it’s my destiny , like it’s just st in the cards no matter what I do. Feel like it’s a failure to keep coming here admitting defeat. But yet I keep coming here.

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 17 hours, 39 minutes ago

    Thanks@cleareyes, guess you’re right because I do lurk here but honestly wtf? I know how to do it but I just don’t. I don’t do doctors….there’s history there. Maybe should look into an addiction counselor…have not tried that

  • I can do AF weekdays. The weekends get me…..so tired and so done. Another wake to 5 am…wondering how the evening went ….do not remember. Head pounding stomach churning……sometimes I think death might be the best thing. I do have a lot to live for. Wish I could recall those things while I’m reaching for the bottle…..maybe I don’t want it ….success. That’s the only answer left

    • @getclear, please know that you have many people here supporting you! The fact that you are posting on this site shows that you want to be successful! That’s awesome! Is there a friend or loved one you can talk to about these feelings? A physician, perhaps, that could help with a therapist referral or some medications? I’m not a professional in this area but I care about you! Please don’t give up and keep close to this site. I want to hear from you!

      • Thanks@cleareyes, guess you’re right because I do lurk here but honestly wtf? I know how to do it but I just don’t. I don’t do doctors….there’s history there. Maybe should look into an addiction counselor…have not tried that

    • @getclear Please don’t give up. Everyone here has been where you are. Everyone here has suffered in darkness and felt they couldn’t make the right choice, or couldn’t make a choice at all. We have all been where you are. We all care for your well-being. You say you have a lot to live for – please hold on to that and keep posting here.

      • @leslielily….do feel exactly like I have no choice sometimes. Feel like it’s my destiny , like it’s just st in the cards no matter what I do. Feel like it’s a failure to keep coming here admitting defeat. But yet I keep coming here.

    • @getclear, When I first realized that I had a problem I couldn’t go 2 days without drinking. I just made it over 4 months AF. Your not a failure at all. Just keep trying!

    • @getclear – i know i have been there, all the way down to the do i deserve to live – you do, perhaps see a counselor with the depression, if possible. Just because you drank this weekend, it is the week day now. so start again.

      • Thanks@kitten….did you see a counselor?

        • I did not see a counselor. I had a friend that I could talk about how absolutely in the throes of hell i was, as she was too. she went on medication and was miraculously better and i lost my friend to moan and groan with. I would still like to go see a counselor. I have the hardest time being self employed and setting personal appointments. I am trying to get better, self care.

        • @kitten…I’ve been trying self care too but it doesn’t seem to be working. I can’t get past the stigma of counseling too. I cannot be found out so to speak. The depression is profound though. I guess I just have to hope I can do the right thing and get the confidence back. Looks like you’re doing well! Seems you’ve got this!

    • That’s the beautiful thing about this site, we are a living testimony that sober weekends can be achieved! For the longest time I was a binge drinker, Thursday to Saturday and then I slipped into daily drinking. When I decided to quit I never thought I could get through a weekend but that was wrong, weekend days are just other days in a 7 day week! You do get a shit ton more accomplished and enjoy them more. The thing I love about sober weekends is that I am not rushing through the day trying to get to my drink! Getting AF is a process not a test. There is no pass or fail and there is no limits to the number of times you can try. You are making it through 5 days, try to stretch that out to 6 days and then 7 days and before you know it you have weeks and then months!
      I now have kind of stopped counting days and now count months and looking forward to counting years! You can do this, stick close!

      • Thanks @hammer123, I like that you said AF is a process not a test because I surely have failed that. Seems the more I say don’t drink I do! I’m trying again, I’ll try what you said, try to get 6 days….then maybe 7. I do so want to remove the shit feelings from my life

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 5 days, 3 hours ago

    @jpm, have to agree with the others. Such immense pride you will feel having conquered two things. We need confidence boosters and that will be a huge one. You can do it!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 1 hour ago

    So so correct. I felt great today and will again tomorrow!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 1 hour ago

    Thank you for the support. You’re correct that I’m testing myself more than I could. I have passed on several events In the last week. It’s been ok staying home and not attending. But I cannot refuse the dates all the time. Funny though I did notice that once the initial ordering of drinks was over, a couple of people said something about no booze for me.?! But that was it. No one said anything else and they just continued to drink without notice to me. It was more my deal than anyone else’s and I sure was glad in the morning! Anyway….one more day done and dusted clean! Thank you again for the sober perspective!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 6 hours ago

    You did not drink today and that’s all that matters. One day at a time @yeswecan

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 6 hours ago

    @lars. Totally hear where you’re coming from. I know we all want off the hamster wheel, and I have to believe that even if we mess up and fall if we get back on the track and try again it’s better than just staying on the wheel. For me , I’ve had more sober days in the last four months than in all of last year and that’s a good thing. Eventually it will stick and 17 days will become 27, 47, and so on. The reward will come. Hoping your heart will not hurt tomorrow

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    @missbennet….I agree check in when you feel like it. It helps. I’m trying to at least post something each day. It sure the number count helps me. But checking in does. Good for you on Day 5!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    @wakingowl you’re right!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    @enzedgirl, no choice. That’s the friend base the Mr and I have. It’s hard but they’re mostly normal drinkers ….the kind I wish I was. But….it’s good to be ones own self I guess

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Morning now and no regrets!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    I sure hope so

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    ☺️

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    @sober4real, true more was never enough for me either. Could not walk away after one

  • getclear posted an update 1 week ago

    I didn’t drink today ….. I wanted to. But I watched while everyone else ordered and enjoyed and I drank water. I will enjoy tomorrow. One day at a time.

    • Great job @getclear, thing is I don’t know about you but I never enjoyed. It was only more, more, MORE! So you will enjoy tomorrow without a hangover.

    • JM replied 1 week ago

      Fantastic @getclear!! Total victory. 😃

    • Well done!

    • Good for you! A sober night and the bonus of a hangover free morning!

    • You rocked it @getclear. I see sober muscles growing. 😉

    • Good on u @getclear. You WONT regret not drinking. 😁

    • You may like to consider not watching other people drinking. Sounds like torture.

      • @enzedgirl, no choice. That’s the friend base the Mr and I have. It’s hard but they’re mostly normal drinkers ….the kind I wish I was. But….it’s good to be ones own self I guess

      • It’s hard, but you do have a choice, as impossible as it might feel. You don’t have to go social occasions and watch other people drink as if nothing has changed.

        I’m worried that you are risking your sobriety by putting yourself through this. Yes as long as you can continue to avoid drinking you’re building sober “muscles” but if it’s happening all the time it could wear you down?

        Anyway, your journey, your choice – wishing you only well.

        • Thank you for the support. You’re correct that I’m testing myself more than I could. I have passed on several events In the last week. It’s been ok staying home and not attending. But I cannot refuse the dates all the time. Funny though I did notice that once the initial ordering of drinks was over, a couple of people said something about no booze for me.?! But that was it. No one said anything else and they just continued to drink without notice to me. It was more my deal than anyone else’s and I sure was glad in the morning! Anyway….one more day done and dusted clean! Thank you again for the sober perspective!

    • ‘Didn’t drink today’ That’s about all that matters. Good for you. You didn’t drink today also means you will have no hangover tomorrow. That’s where the real payoff is. Wrap yourself up in the clearheadedness and inner peace. Great stuff that!!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @jo14 I like that! Taking back your power! Because it’s so true that alcohol steels it. Ugh the beast it is! Congrats on 1800. That’s amazing!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @newbeginning, I’m looking forward to two months, your list of positive things sounds enticing! Better sleep is a big one and free mind. Keep posting !

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @robynb…very reflective post, I love how you seem to be comfortable taking things slow as far as change. I’m sorry about your kid…hurts so bad when those we love take our path because we know the pain they will go through. Biking is so cathartic! Thanks for posting!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    🤗@kaydee congrats day 40! Can’t wait till I get there. Also want to feel that bloat go away…..it was better when I got to day 25 so I can feel that coming. Understand the proud thing too. Each time I relapse I lose more of that feeling. Can’t wait to feel it again. Stay strong!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @lucy…well done. Very brave. Inspiration for another day 2 for me. Stay strong,

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @liberty, Love the Poppies! Thank you for your post. It is an endless cycle I’m on for sure. Sadly I think my trigger is my need to numb at those around me. But I’m trapped with those around me. They say get rid of toxic relationships but sometimes it would require so much change it’s not not the best idea. I’m gonna try so so hard. My goal is literally one day at a time. I drink to numb not for fun although my lifestyle is always around alcohol. I would have to move to a different house and divorce everyone I know to get away from it. But thank you for caring

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @winner thank you for the encouragement!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @aprilsfool….great post. I for sure can relate and hope I have the strength this time to keep going. Congrats on your AF time! Wonderful! I want today to be my last hangover and will think about you as inspiration!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @newstart100…thank you for caring. Hopefully I can pull it off this time.

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    I can’t imagine that many days….I get to 25 or so and the liar pulls me back. Back on the counter. Trying again. Thanks for encouraging us beginners

    • That liar can also be called the addictive voice @getclear – there’s a way of thinking about alcohol addiction called Rational Revovery which talks about addictive voice recognition training (I think that’s what it’s called). It can be the tool that turns things around for people and helps them get alcohol free – worth a google

  • getclear posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    I’ve been lurking here….following but not doing the work. Restarting my counter. Woke this morning to another hangover and the blunt force trauma of realizing I feel absolutely no joy in my life. Something has to change. It has to be me. Obviously there’s a plan for me in the universe because I’m not dead yet. Sometimes I wonder why…. here we go again

    • I’m so glad you are here @getclear! Alcohol is such a beast, but you are stronger than the beast. Your mindset is absolutely correct, you are here for a reason. None of us know what the plan is for us, that is up to our higher power. For the longest time the only thing that got me through the hard days was trusting the words of those that were further along than me when they said life was better without alcohol. I’m here to tell you that it is true. Life without alcohol is so so so much better. It can get boring at times, sure, but on the other side I wake up in the morning so very proud of myself and happy to be free of the beast. Congratulations on your day one, this is the start of your new life. Hugs to you xoxo

    • You can do it! Stay close! ❤️❤️

    • Hello fellow poppy-appreciator. 🙂 I can feel the pain in your post @getclear
      You’ve reminded me of how I felt in that endless cycle – thank you for that. That’s the beauty of everyone sharing here. Everyone has something to offer at whatever stage they’re at and all of it helps squish the illusion of booze.
      If you’ve got to 25 before you can again. Do you know what the trigger is that tips you off the track? Something to ponder. Anyway, you know everything there is to know about this drinking situation, by the sounds of it, as I did. I had explored that one to the nth degree. It’s ‘funny’ (not funny) how we can be miserable drinking but being sober still feels more scary. But there’s a lot to gain. There really is. Does it help to set yourself a goal, like 30 days? Keep posting.

      • @liberty, Love the Poppies! Thank you for your post. It is an endless cycle I’m on for sure. Sadly I think my trigger is my need to numb at those around me. But I’m trapped with those around me. They say get rid of toxic relationships but sometimes it would require so much change it’s not not the best idea. I’m gonna try so so hard. My goal is literally one day at a time. I drink to numb not for fun although my lifestyle is always around alcohol. I would have to move to a different house and divorce everyone I know to get away from it. But thank you for caring

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Nice vacay! Beautiful places you’re in.

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    @Lucy…. I hear ya on the food! I’ve been assured by many here it’ll work itself out. Congrats on day 4!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    @buckeyeone….agreed! Have a great week….personal best here we come!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @pooks45….good for you. Enforcing your sobriety! I recently took a job that gets me up very early…keeps me sober. Can’t get up early when you’re still trashed from the night before. We keep ourselves accountable. Stay strong! Keep Running!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Great job! How long have you been running? I think that’s incredible that you’re running that long after 35 days AF…. I could not run a mile if I tried. Congratulations….marathon in October?

    • @getclear I’ve been running for years. To be honest the last few years I haven’t run as much, mostly because I couldn’t deal with getting up early to run because I was feeling fuzzy. I’ve signed up for a long trail run in October.so I have no choice but to run 4 days a week.

      • @pooks45….good for you. Enforcing your sobriety! I recently took a job that gets me up very early…keeps me sober. Can’t get up early when you’re still trashed from the night before. We keep ourselves accountable. Stay strong! Keep Running!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Agreed it’s the sugar in wine I’m trying to get to I never thought of it as sweet. Always said I hated sweet wines but I guess my body grew to like it🙄. I love lime flavored too. Often do lime in fizzy water!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I do drink fizzy water and like the flavored ones. But I see, to need that sugar kick to replace my wine. I’ve lost my day count so not sure where I’m at. Thinking around 32 if I don’t count my one slip so yes ….feeling good about that

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Juice is pretty high in sugar too but I could try it….and yes agreed Much better than alcohol

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    This strategy seems to be working now. Didn’t in my first weeks

  • getclear posted an update 1 month ago

    I always used to drink wine before bedtime, watch tv or sit outside and sip….so that is my witching hour. I’ve found that sipping a sugary soda and just thinking past the urge….thinking past the drink seems to work! Don’t like the fact that I’m sipping sugary soda either but…. better than booze!…I may be fat anyway…but not boozy and hungover! I’ll consider that a plus

    • Think past the drink 🙂 great strategy.

      Earring floury sweet things is my big downfall atm. I’m giving myself a hard time but taking no action which is no good 😣

    • any thing is better than alcohol so many easy alternatives . mine is a 50/50 orange juice tonic water

      • Juice is pretty high in sugar too but I could try it….and yes agreed Much better than alcohol

    • Have you tried soda water (or fizzy water) with a dash (or several) of a yummy syrup? A bit less sugar and you get that lovely tang. Or- just pat yourself on the back for not drinking alcohol!

      • I do drink fizzy water and like the flavored ones. But I see, to need that sugar kick to replace my wine. I’ve lost my day count so not sure where I’m at. Thinking around 32 if I don’t count my one slip so yes ….feeling good about that

    • I have soda and a syrup or maybe just soda and lime and lately cups of tea. I find I need something sweet, some days I crave the sugar that’s in wine….so I also have soft jubes or barley sugar

      • Agreed it’s the sugar in wine I’m trying to get to I never thought of it as sweet. Always said I hated sweet wines but I guess my body grew to like it🙄. I love lime flavored too. Often do lime in fizzy water!

  • getclear posted an update 1 month ago

    Shout out to @DantheDev and @mrs-d for dealing with all these trouble spots…good to be back to smooth sailing now! I’m reading many success stories and happy people stories today….that’s encouraging to us beginners!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @MissFreedom….sorry I was late to say good luck but it sounds like you pulled it off fantastic! Good job!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome, good you joined!

  • getclear posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome! Glad you’re here

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