• Frog posted a new activity comment 1 day, 10 hours ago

    Well, howdy there! Yeah, the garden thing went out the window at around 10 a.m. as I instead chose to debate with an incel online. Argh! Why do I take the bait?
    Enjoy your day too, my friend.

    • haa haaa have not gotten out to the garden… it’s like heat index 109 can’t imagine how hot it is down there. Might have to do some yoga in air conditioning. Don’t take the bait! lol. @Frog.

  • Frog posted an update 1 day, 14 hours ago

    I have nothing to post except that I am happy to be awake and sober and looking forward to a painting and gardening day. Peace and happiness to all of you!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    You’re so much more than the party girl.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    I wonder if he could do his act in your living room for you only….maybe with both of you naked?

    • @Frog two birds one stone!! I love it, hahaha… @Lars that’s a tough decision to make and you know your limits. Trust yourself to make the decision that is best for you.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    I’m so sorry about your mother and am so happy for you that you were able to spend quality time with her before she passed.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    It is good to be sober for such a tough situation. Hang in there and know we are here.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    A huge hug and congrats on your 5 year process!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    Lol! The sheepishness of coming back….I feel ya. So happy to know you are well and still working on sobriety. It’s a process.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 3 days, 21 hours ago

    Maybe love is acceptance. Just a thought.

  • Frog posted an update 3 days, 21 hours ago

    Well, @Ro , I am happy to say that I watched all of season one of After Life. What a great show! So poignant. And, I am happier still that Netflix is now giving me suggestions for other Ricky Gervais shows, like Extras; I should be set for a while.

    Looking to another crazy busy day tomorrow.

    • My guy has been rewatching Extras, so I’ve been catching bits here and there. It’s still so funny! He’s a talented bloke!

    • I agree just loved the after life just about rolled off the sofa laughing about the Rice puddings episode

    • @frog After Life is amazing eh? I loved it too, the irony of life, so bitter sweet. It really hit my guts that show. I think Ricky Gervais is actually a genius.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 4 days, 11 hours ago

    This is first i have ever heard of Morecambe and Wise. Sounds like they may be similar to Laurel and Hardy or Abbot and Costello. I will check them out. As for your suggestions, I just started watching After Life. I love Ricky Gervais, not only because I think he’s a hottie (yeah, I have a think for stout guys with thinning hair), but he’s just so smart.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 5 days, 10 hours ago

    “Ain’t nothin like the real thing baby…”

  • Frog posted an update 5 days, 11 hours ago

    I swear to god. A 13 hour day yesterday without lunch.

    Anosognosia. It is the worst symptom of mental illness and yesterday it was what I battled. But, I finally won, though for how long is the question. If I could only slip the med into a soda because everyone seems to like soda. But, alas, they gotta consent. Damned autonomy! Damned ethics!

    Some days I feel panicky about keeping people stable, the what ifs of potential for someone to suicide or murder someone, the sometimes very fine line between forcing someone into hospital vs trusting that they aren’t quite there.

    Anyway, after finally finishing my documentation and thinking to myself that I was simply transferring all my work onto the poor nurse who will come in and see a pile of orders, and thinking about the merrygoround of mere existance, I went home and thought, “I’ll watch an easy comedy movie.”

    Have you tried to find a comedy with more than 6 star ratings lately? I settled for “The Do Over” which turned out to be the most mysogynistic, sophmoric movie I have seen in years. Just stupid and actually pissed me off. Of course, I cannot turn off a movie once I start, so I watched the pointless thing to the very end’s scene of the old woman with her sagging breasts exposed being the brunt of the joke. And, I have no one to complain to about this movie. There is no senator to write to, no where I can march and hold up my sign. I can’t even write to Adam Sandler directly to tell him how much he really sucks for making these kinds of movies. Nope. I will paint my wall today instead and just move on.

    I do not recommend the movie, just in case you were wondering.

    • Hope you have recovered from that ling day and awful movie night. May the weekend hold rest and recouperation for you❤️😊

    • Painting a wall IS ALWAYS a good way to get a fresh perspective:). Thanks for the info regarding the movie, I won’t bother. Have you tried you tube as a way of distracting? You can actually watch other people.cleaning their house, haha. 💚.

    • I’m sorry @Frog. A rough day and a really bad movie. Some Adam Sandler movies I can tolerate but most I run from. I like when he acts really sweet but the sophmoric bits and toilet humor is too obvious for me.

      • @jocord..LOL 😀
        @Frog…xoxo to you! I hate shit days. And trying to wind down and relax only to have the relaxation technique suck!(lol) Tomorrow will be better😀

    • Do you have Netflix? Supernatural and Afterlife by Ricky Gervais. If you don’t laugh then me and you can’t be mates. I thought Adam Sandler movies were for people like my 21yr old son…. No time for bad films or books at this end
      P. S Afterlife may make you laugh and cry simultaneously

      • Oh good @Ro been trying to find something decent and funny to watch, will try afterlife.

      • Ok so my previous suggestions not really for ‘light’ viewing I thought about it after I posted. But still seriously funny. Hope you like the Morcambe and Wise. I used to watch their show with my grandparents when I was little. We used to crack up.

        • This is first i have ever heard of Morecambe and Wise. Sounds like they may be similar to Laurel and Hardy or Abbot and Costello. I will check them out. As for your suggestions, I just started watching After Life. I love Ricky Gervais, not only because I think he’s a hottie (yeah, I have a think for stout guys with thinning hair), but he’s just so smart.

    • Well if we’re on that…Sex Education is good @frog. May not be light relief from work though
      The only film he’s in I’ve liked (eg been able to watch) is Punch Drunk Love. I want to like him….but the frat boy thing…it’s just full of menace

    • You can complain to us!! Sounds like a crap movie. How annoying after a rough day. Trying to think of a good comedy I’ve seen recently… and can’t. Not much help from me I guess, hah!

    • Adam Sandler is one of the great disappointments of comedy. Happy Gilmore was sophmorish but st least it was a bit funny. The rest have been pants.

      I’m watching Chernobyl but it’s not really light comedy viewing 😢

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 5 days, 11 hours ago

    First, I cannot imagine being at a work event and drinking. It’s just so weird to think that some people got drunk and still had to associate with their coworkers the next day. You’re the normal one there, girleo, with all your angst and fears. Really, you’re the normal one.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 5 days, 11 hours ago

    Hmmm. I would think you would link the stomach pain to the drinking and not the drinking as an alleviation to it since drinking can cause so many stomach ailments. But, it’s funny how the craving mind wants to justify.

    • I must be careful of the trickery of the mind. I sure am a lot less anxious and depressed and hesitant since stopping drinking which all outweigh my minor stomach tension. Thanks for making me check my thinking @frog

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 5 days, 11 hours ago

    It is a great day to be sober, you’re right! Can you imagine drinking a glass of wine every night…how tired you’d be. Ugh. Never want to go there.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 6 days, 14 hours ago

    Oh, that is such a great visual, you in your mud-covered raincoat “unweed”ing.

  • Frog posted an update 6 days, 14 hours ago

    Just checking in before I enter into the gates of over-scheduling hell. I actually do love what I do but for some reason, I just put too many people on today. Lately, the mantra I have been giving my patients as example to use for negative thought replacement is: “compassion, love, forgiveness.”

    Today will be a tough one, but this means going to bed early and waking fresh tomorrow. I will use compassion, love, forgiveness for myself today so that I slow down and stay in the moment.

    How are you doing @sam27 and @reena?

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 6 days, 14 hours ago

    Oh, the joy and trial of having a 3-year-old! You will be much happier with yourself if you stay on the path you are on. Have a great weekend.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    If you look at this from a harm reduction standpoint, the fact that you equate driving with NOT drinking is just such a huge success. Drive. Don’t drive. Whichever you choose, you won’t be putting anyone at risk of dui injury. So, good job either way.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Oh! It took me a few to get the rocket reference. Cool beans, girl! You’re kicking arse!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You’re thinking about @janus2. Good to see you here.

    • Yes. Thanks!

      • Hey am here, just going through tough shit at moment. Nice to see you here, previous name was.. dont want to say all good. But we are here, yes lol was/is swim teacher.

      • Hey janus so sorry to hear that you are in a bad situation. I’m not sure of my old user name. It might of been poodlelover. I’m glad you came here for support. We all know what happens when we have one. The Eldon Taylor neurolinguistic programming is now free for download on the web. It worked like magic for me after smoking cigarettes for 33 years. Maybe I wasn’t ready to accept that alcohol really does suck and solves nothing . I am listening to the substance abuse cd now. If you are not familiar with it all the basic premise is the subconscious runs the show. NLP is subliminal messages on really mellow music reprograms the subconscious. Things will get better @janus2. Thanks for all of the posting and encouragement you have given over the years.

  • Frog posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    I’ve been pondering the dichotomy of the human being’s psyche: being innately alone yet innately connected. I believe that the void between the two states – the NOW – is the moment of true peace.

    The first time I saw my son, his gaze was a tunnel of infinity, disconnected, but over the first few days he began to hold eye contact and I started to know when he was hungry, when the water was too warm, when he was delighted. The connectivity had begun. Yet, over the years I have seen him develop into his own self, have his own thoughts, his own aloneness.

    It occurred to me when he was a baby that he was never mine, but that he was his own. All I am there for is to be his guide. Some days we end up stuck in the tough brambles and some days the hike is a good one. But at the end of each day each of us has had his own separate journey.

    And, I think the most difficult part of being a parent is the pain caused by our own desire to disconnect. Afterall, parents are human beings with the same flux between separation and connection, but our children, not having developed autonomy, want to be near us, their source of nurture. Our need to have aloneness, when ill-channelled, can become irritability, impatience, and anger. Then comes the guilt. I believe this is the struggle of every dedicated parent.

    For parents who have compounded circumstances such as a divorce or the death of a loved one, the desire to be alone with our grief without the perceived opportunity to be alone with our grief becomes the gnawing struggle. We have to function and booze – with its swirling ability to numb – can become our primary coping mechanism. If we can mask our grief we can get through our day.

    But the price we pay to have constant disconnection is our children learning to distrust connection, while becoming afraid of the vast aloneness. If we are never fully there, they can never fully connect and it is the connection – the touching base – that allows them to feel…[Read more]

    • Beautiful, touching thoughts. Hugs @frog.

    • This is beautiful. It’s exactly what I needed to start my day. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

    • thank you! This seems to be related to the concepts secure/insecure attachment, something in the child development field of research. It also touches me deeply personally.

    • Beautiful, eloquent wisdom.

    • Wow this resonates with me so much as a mum if a three year old. We are currently going through the difficult transition into daycare and the separation is tough on him. Also, that guilt of the last three years when at times I just wanted space for myself and felt bad for that want, in a way wine was that space- I was there but not there. Also the realisation to mention that your baby is not yours, he is his own person and you are his guide- I had that too and it was a deep spiritual realisation and a surprise. Wow! Thanks for your wise post @frog

    • Beautiful poignant post – thank you.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    What a cool collection!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    You’re going to be fine! (Just don’t look up from the podium :))

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Good for you for staying in awareness!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    If you’re having slight hallucinations on day 3, you really may want to seek medical attention because you don’t want to have a seizure.

  • Frog posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    I am feeling settled with the idea of having no goals for now pertaining to my drinking other than to not binge and not make it my center. Counting my days was becoming counterproductive because of my frequent lapses. But avoiding the site altogether didn’t help and I was finding myself slipping right back into heavy drinking.

    I have been practicing a posture move that I’m learning in Tai Chi where I put my tongue to the roof of my mouth, keeping my mouth closed, tuck back my chin and tuck in my arse (eliminating head-forward posture) and imagine my head has a string connecting it to the sky and my feet are solid in the earth. I become the connection between the sky and the earth. It’s very centering as it requires quiet concentration. I find myself using it throughout my day, bringing myself back to good posture when I realize I’ve lapsed into a slouch.

    That’s where I feel I am right now in my sobriety journey: quiet concentration. No goals; no judgment; just connected to the earth and the sky even when I wobble out of orbit.

    How you doing out there, @reena?

    • @frog sounds as though tai chi is being very helpful! You sound well grounded and aware of what is right for you.

    • So good to see you. I appreciated your shout out the other day. I am not on much lately. Lots to concentrate on at home right now. I like your idea of concentration. Best wishes 😊

    • Sounds like you are in a good place to get focused. Best of luck 🙂

    • You know me, I can’t do that moderation drinking, as I know I would slip back into heavy drinking, too. I think it’s far less of a struggle now, now that I don’t struggle with it. I’m fortunate that Sandy doesn’t drink, though. Drinkers can appear to be having such a great time, and maybe they are, some or most of them. But me, inevitable it was to excess, and the play it forward wasn’t/isn’t a pretty picture. Glad this site helps you though, I want you better.

    • Sounds like an excellent sober strategy to me. Good luck!

    • You.remind me I want to try Tai Chi! Technique sounds like a great one.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Yep. Once you get a taste of sobriety, you will struggle with it forever! It’s so much better to just come back, no matter where you are in your journey.

    • @Frog! I love the idea of struggling forever with sobriety! What a way to flip the script. I suppose I have the good fortune of struggling with sobriety. xo

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Welcome!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Hmm. Wonder if you should just go get it checked out? Either way, hope you feel loads better today.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Oh, don’t I know that woman quite well, the obnoxious, promiscuous one. You’ve come to the right place, I believe. And, just keep staying on track here. Since being on this site, I’ve gone from binge drinking to point of blackout at least 2 times per year to no blackouts in 4 years. And, though I’m not always sober, I have gone from regularly drinking 4-5 nights per week to periods of weeks and months without and when I go back, it’s usually less than 2 nights per week. So, while sober all the time would be fantastic, don’t let the shame suck you into not continuing to try. I highly recommend looking up the harm reduction websites as well. Peace out!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    No name change since it’s too much a pain. My post disappeared because I deleted it. I only wanted to talk about it, then delete due to its content. You know I’m a little paranoid about being found out. It’s weird when a patient dies because it impacts me but I can’t really talk about it. I can remember them all though as, in my field, the circumstances are never really expected and usually tragic.

    • It must be dreadful. I must say the pain in the lives &/or dreariness of many I work with can be gruelling. I have to focus on the creative and hopeful moments. Thank God they are ther in abundance in all but two right now. Re reading Bruce Perry is helping me, though much of it depressing news when there is almost no in depth rehab for the children.
      Take care.

  • Frog posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago

    Feathery Frog here on this rainy Sunday morning. Turns out to change one’s user name it takes making a new account linked to a different email or deleting the old account. I think I’ll just stick with what I have.

    You know, it’s funny how a name makes a difference. I have been hesitating about going full Feather since mentioning it as Frog is the one whose gotten me through it all with humor. Feather is the one who people respect, the graceful, calm, thoughtful one. Frog just says it and does it. Both, though, are reliably strong.

    • Whatever handle you are here under @frog @feather, I’m just glad you are here 🙂 xo

      • I quite like frogs, feathers are lovely they float on the wind and go where they are taken frogs make decisions and go where they want they are vibrant quick beautiful little creatures that don’t like being caught or handled. Don’t give up on your frog side.

    • I totally understand. As you grow and develop alcohol free things change. And what was appropriate at the start may not be right now. I am going to change my description. I am in a positive place now and things are different. Maybe the site might look at that?

    • I love frog!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    So glad you were able to enjoy your time AF. Almost a year!!! Good for you.

    Can’t figure out how to change my name, so still Frog. Will likely make a new profile this weekend. Thanks for remembering and thanks for the love.

  • Frog posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    What a laid back night I had by taking my son and leaving the party early. My husband stayed (it’s his family) and called me when my boy and I were out at the only restaurant on the island to tell me that he was forbidding his parents to drive back to the hotel and they would be walking. Gosh, I’m glad that this year I just took care of my boy and myself and stayed out of that whole mess.

    • Well done, you.
      A real star!

    • Such a good feeling when you don’t have to deal with all that. Great job! 🙂

    • Glad you chose the restaurant with your son. Enjoy the rest of your holiday if you are taking the next few days off from work.

    • Isn’t it great to view a mess from the outside rather than the middle? Treat yourself to a nice quiet cup of whatever you enjoy and a little private happy dance in your head. Sometimes it’s the little things … Nice work!

    • well done indeed @Frog. Hard to be alone when everyone drinking but worth it later. xx

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    @Jess, I’m sorry you are going through so much. You’ve done great to realize that one relapse doesn’t mean you have to be committed to drinking.

    I won’t get into the whole pharm debate. But, two points I want to mention because they may apply to you and thus may help: (1) often, bipolar is overlooked when someone is coming in for depression treatment; treatment for bipolar is completely different and antidepressants can worsen things, so just look up the symptoms for bipolar 2 and see what you think; (2) about half the population have a genetic variation on the MTHFR gene; this can cause a person to have depletion of folate, b12, which can cause depression and other problems. Have your folic acid/ b12 AND homocysteine levels pulled. Most docs don’t do this. And, a b12 under 500 is still really too low. Oral supplementation of b12 is as effective as injection. If your homocysteine is high, get the MTHFR genetic test done and / or start l-methylfolate 15 mg daily (it’s a supplement).

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Yes, I tagged @reena, but she hasn’t gotten back. It was still good writing it out, regardless no one could read it.

  • Frog posted an update 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Well. I did a really long post, and then made one edit of adding a word, and the post is no where. Poured my heart out. @MrsD? Anyone know what happened?

    • Oh dear. ((Hugs)) for whatever you poured out. 💗

    • Xoxo

    • @Frog. Good to hear from you!!! I think often of all your reasons not to drink. I’m on a lunch break from my summer program with kids, trying to warm up in the car from the freezing AC inside. I just finished a challenging hour with rising 9th gr and now off to read with 3rd where I have an easier time. I hope you are doing well.

    • bum that bloody edit button. Did you tag anyone? They may have it in their inbox x

      • Frog replied 2 weeks ago

        Yes, I tagged @reena, but she hasn’t gotten back. It was still good writing it out, regardless no one could read it.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Seriously? You don’t have rootbeer there? Holy Moly. It’s made (or used to be made) from sassafras. Really sweet and tasty, but sweet. Good on top of ice cream (called a float). Why do I feel like I am talking with a martian right now? No rootbeer! go figure.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    I’m on the beach with my inlaws and my mother-in-law keeps showing me that I could drink these low calorie spiked carbonated waters. Ugh! Why? Fizzy water should be left for hydration for gods sake!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    I have those thoughts all the time, usually within 2 days of the hangover. “I can drink again. It’s rediculous to be on this sober bandwagon. I’m not truly problematic in my drinking…” Anyway. It’s still a struggle. My advice? Don’t because you’ll have more trouble getting back to Day 74 if you do. But, you already know this.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    James Taylor. I can’t believe he’s still around. Hope you guys have the best time! I’m thinking about seeing the rolling stones in Jax on July 19. Saw them there in 1989 when Mick was in his 40s and couldn’t believe someone that old could rock and roll like I could then. Now I’m 53 and still head bang when Zepplin comes on. Age. It’s all a mindset.

    • I love it when a little Led comes on the radio, too. JT is known for folk music, but he and his old crew get rocking pretty good.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    What a great husband you have.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    My son and his friend did that at the mall when he was 7. It was terrifying. I hope the rest of your night is calm and you get good sleep. Resentment never seems to be a bother in the morning.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Wow. What a great life!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Can’t wait to read your further thoughts!

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @mari135: I have a really good doctor. Thanks for the suggestion.

    @enzedgirl: I got teary reading your welcome back. Thank you for that.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Yup.

  • Frog posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Kombucha contains a small amount of alcohol because it’s fermented. Most of the time it will be less than 0.5% and can be sold as non alcoholic.

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