Sober since September, 2016. Booze has no place in my life. I finally switched my thinking from "I'm missing out" to "I'm free." My recovery journey has taught me so much. I wish I had started it a long time ago, but I'm here now.
Hang in there! I know you know drinking is not the answer. Stick with us. If it’s helpful, this is a really interesting article in making sure we practice lots of self care to ensure we never go back to the booze. Lots of love. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553654/
@freedom1025 THANK YOU! I needed that and have saved it in my favorites to continue to reference. It is so easy to forget some of this stuff even though I’ve been through treatment. My forgetter breaks. Such good information and it’s spot on in my experience. 🙂 xoxoxo
@jalu I can relate! I can’t tell you how many Day 1s I had before it finally “stuck.” What made a difference this final time was I got help. I realized I simply could not do it alone. My biggest source of support is this online community. I also realized I had to come up with a plan for my trigger times (usually about 5-7 pm). I stocked the house with alcohol free drinks, I bought treats for myself, and I kept myself busy and distracted during those hours. And I listened to a ton of podcasts (Soberful, The Bubble Hour, Recovery Elevator) and read blogs (Mummy Was a Secret Drinker, Mrs D is Going Without, Unpickled). It helps so much to know you’re not alone. We are here to help. Stay close dear. xoxo
Tom, I know of what you speak. 😊 I get this sense that people who never drank are “forgiven” or allowed to exist. But people who drank heavily and are now giving up the booze are viewed as defective. Really twisted, huh?!
@freedom1025 that’s why I tend to caution the newly AF now about outing themselves…I did early, and don’t regret it. I felt an urge to do it, to get it over with. I’ve seen that in others, but as you know, there could be ramifications. Hope you & yours are well, my friend.
So true! One thing (amongst many!) that motivated me to get sober is just what you described. My world was getting smaller, I was isolating myself because I wanted to get my drink on alone where no one would judge or notice my slurring words. Nice job @jr! ❤️😊
Yes, have a plan for your trigger times – it makes such a differences. Lots of AF beverages in the house, something to fill your down time. I listened to a lot of podcasts and read recovery books. I’m currently reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober which I really like. You CAN do this.
Please, please try to see your doctor. My husband suffers from depression and it took a while to find the right medication that worked for him. But once he did, it was a complete turn-around. It was like a wet, heavy blanket that had been smothering him had been lifted off and he could finally breathe and see the light. Thinking of you dear and sending you strength.
Congrats on 1 year! Epic achievement. I’m so very happy for you. I find that cravings ebb and flow based on what else is going on in my life and how far I may have strayed from my sober self care like kindness towards myself, exercise, eating well, connecting with others.
@lucy my 16 year old son has given me a run for my money. I love him but there are days I don’t like him if you know what I mean. Everyone said girls would be more difficult but my daughters were a breeze compared to him. I just keep reminding myself to do the next right thing by him. To love him with all my heart, but set boundaries and make sure he knows we’re the parents. I know my sweet, lovable boy is in there somewhere … we used to be the best of buddies. I know he’ll come around … I’m already seeing cracks in the teenage armor. God help us all! I don’t have a movie recommendation but I’m reading and loving The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray. Sending you lots of strength. Don’t let the wine witch use teenage troubles to invade your sober territory! Beat her back with a stick.
Glad to hear you’re so content @scared even with puppy duty in the middle of the night. @lucy hang in there! Take a shower and get in your PJs if you have to. Think of how fab you’re going to feel in the am. So worth it!
Hey @lucy – just checking in and saying hi 👋 I should really be asleep – we watched rugby after our guests left until 1.45am – could not have managed that if wine was on the menu – sending you happy thoughts Xx
Being authentic and honest … oh I love that. When I was drinking, I think that’s what ate away at my soul the most … the hiding, the secrecy, the lies. I didn’t think it made a difference but it did. When you’re living your life in opposition to your values, it messes with your mojo. Haha put that on a bumper sticker. Thanks for your insightful post (as always). Happy Friday. 😊
We are back from our annual week on the lake with family friends. This is my third sober year doing this vacation and my sobriety now feels like a cozy sweatshirt that I comfortably wear. It used to be tight and restrictive but I have stretched it and softened it and it fits my body well. It gives me peace and comfort. The first lake trip after I got sober was hard … I was scared to death I was going to be triggered and slip. I logged on here often and you carried me through. Encouraged me. Reminded me why I was fighting the good fight. There were still triggers this year when the other adults would kick off the cocktail hour. But I easily pulled my tools from my sober toolbox … fixed LaCroix and lime, though how fabulous I was going to feel the next day, recognized the urge would pass and I didn’t need to give it credence or substance. I guess the point of my rambling post is recovery morphs over time … it’s no longer a battle where I’m constantly on guard. It’s a natural part of my life that I’m so very grateful for because it allows me to finally live. I watched my kids water ski and tube and joke and laugh with their best buddies. I listened to their meaningful chats as some finish up college and others are just embarking. And that’s where the meaning is for me. Not in some lousy bottle of Chardonnay. Peace friends.
Wow, I love love LOVE your sweatshirt analogy. There is nothing I love more than a cozy, well-worn sweatshirt. I am going to write this analogy down in my journaling and keep it in mind as my long term goal. Thank you for your post! 🙂
I LOVE your cozy sweatshirt analogy. That is just so perfect! I am very comfortable with my sobriety too and it’s great that you are good with social situations. In the past 15 years I haven’t drank in social situations so most people are used to it with me. Now I want to buy a comfy sweatshirt! hahaha! Fall is coming…woohoo! My favorite season.