I am 49 YO, married with a teenage daughter. I had my first drink at 14ish and got drunk for the first time shortly after. I've been drinking all of my adult life, and smoking pot & cigs. I always knew I had a problem with pot & booze but could never stop on my own despite hundreds of attempts. One evening, my daughter was yelling at me to get out of her room while I was high. She had never done this before. In fact, she said drinking never changed me but it certainly did. That night was a game-changer for me. She had never raised her voice to me before that or since. That started my journey to sobriety. That was mid-Nov 2016 and I have not looked back since. I love sobriety. I was meant to be sober. It allows me to do the things I always thought about doing but was too busy drinking to actually do. I love my sober life and protect it like a warrior. The LS community has taught me this and continues to teach me everyday. For that, I am thankful.
Agreed!! I, too, like that saying, so appropriate and true! I hear you about the fatty foods the next day and bowing to the almighty hangover. Ugh, not missing those days in the least! I’m glad you were able to have a sober vacation and I know your son appreciated it too.
Big, Huge Congrats to you on D94!! That’s great! I totally remember entering the triple-digit club. I did it twice too but with much more enthusiasm this time around. I love my sober life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Nothing equates in value.
Ah yes, home alone was an old trigger for me as well. Now, it’s a bit of a treat. Wow, $7K by not drinking!! For whatever reason, on my way to work this am, I was thinking about how much money I would spend on booze, omg, so shameful and embarrassing. I’m so glad to have those days behind me.
Try not to feel embarrassed, I’m so glad you are here and reaching out. I will support you by cheering you on, believing in you and telling you not to give up before the miracle happens. A life of sobriety is worth fighting for, one day at a time.
D484 ~ Hello LS family! Although I don’t post often anymore, I think about this forum almost everyday. When I’m faced with a challenge, I wonder, “what would my LS family suggest?” I’m grateful I have this site to come to anytime. Things have been going well. Spring is in the air and I have no cravings, much different than last year being my first spring sober. I’ve been busy finishing off craft projects. It feels so wonderful to finish a craft project!! I want to read some posts and catch up a little so will sign off now. Just for today, don’t drink.
Hi @Eschia, I remember you from when I first joined. You were 100 days ahead of me and I never thought I would get there. But you’re still 100 days ahead of me and I’ve joined you in the AF life! We rock!
One day at a time & living in the moment is how we stay sober. Cross bridges if & when you are in front of them, not way before. Sober time changes our perspective & we get stronger in our sobriety. What seems depressing today may not in a month or two. Huge congrats on D4!!
In my early sobriety, I asked an AA group how they celebrate. I didn’t think AF ppl ever celebrated. At the time, my celebrations were strongly linked to drinking. As I built up more sober time, I realized that celebrations meant good feelings, honoring me and rewarding myself. As you gain more sober time, you’ll get excited about many other things that don’t involve alcohol. In your early sobriety, the link between excitement and alcohol is well-established. You’ll notice it will change over time (as with many other things). In sobriety, things change in a good way and we can experience it now. In the past, for me, I was too busy drinking and nothing changed. I hope that makes some sense to you. Congrats on D13!! You are doing really great.
I am so sorry for your pain and suffering with some awful, tragic stuff. That must be really tough. Someone once told me feelings are not fact. That helped me feel better when the, “I’m a shitty person” thoughts came around. Although I may feel like a shitty person at times, it doesn’t make me a shitty person. Kudos to you for talking about your experience to newbies at rehab. That’s some good service work. Here’s to better days ahead.
Great job on D54!! Putting effort into your sobriety, like meditation, will pay off big time. It’s finding those alternative means of living that is the key ~ and there are so many. We never have to drink again.
Our insidious disease will whisper all kinds of lies to get us to doubt our determination. It used to tell me that “one won’t hurt” all the time. Whenever I really thought about it, though, I’d rarely, if ever, had only one drink. That’s the lie. Good for you for telling it to shut up. Huge Congrats on D9!!
I’m glad to hear that there is the possibility of socializing sober in my future. I can’t decide if it’s because I don’t want to be around drunk ppl (because they’re annoying), or if I’m avoiding being around them. Either way, I’m good with it for now.
So now you have learned something about why you drink. My advice? Stay away from the ppl that seem stressed and tense. In the beginning of my sobriety, I felt guilty about leaving some of the ppl behind until I learned that guilt was a feeling that never left me while I was drinking. Being sober means being selfish in a good way. We become selfish in taking care of ourselves, by not exposing ourselves to toxic ppl, places and things. As far as your kids go, it’s never too late to change your behavior. My daughter was 16 by the time I stopped drinking. I didn’t write myself off and neither did she. Don’t go to the pity party, you don’t belong there. Stay strong, keep running to that sober door until you break it down and you will if you keep trying. The key is to never to quit quitting. You’ll get it, I know you will.
Huge Congrats on D3, you are doing great!! Getting back into life will have to happen but not rushed. Do it at your own pace but don’t use it as an excuse to ignore responsibilities. I’ve seen some newly sober ppl do that. Not judging, just saying. You are right, this is so important, you wanna get it right. Keep posting, stay close.
I read somewhere that, when we write, our emotions flow through the pen onto paper and I truly believe that. Writing is therapeutic and opens doors we didn’t know were there. It’s good that you grieved and it sounds like you had a lot to grieve for. I hope you feel lighter and less burdened. Sometimes we don’t know how heavy a load we are carrying until it breaks our back. Be gentle on yourself, you did a good thing.
D425 today ~ Amazing that I’m at D425. In the beginning, I couldn’t stay sober for 7 days straight! And, if I did, I would celebrate by drinking! Imagine that. I just wanted to pop by and say hello since I’m rarely here anymore. I love all of you sober sisters and think of you often. Without you, I wouldn’t be sober. That, I know. You are quite precious and I hope you know that.
@coolsober ~ oh, it definitely fades over time. It eventually becomes, “oh thank goodness I don’t drink anymore.” It truly gets so much better. @jaxisdry ~ Huge congrats on D115 and, yes, so freeing to not be obsessed with booze!
D363 – Crazy how a year can sneak up on you. I cannot believe it’s almost been one year since I decided to stop drinking! That blows me away! I couldn’t have done it without my sponsor, that is for sure. During this past year, I’ve been doing some pretty amazing things. They aren’t amazing to anyone else, like getting up every morning hangover-free, but they’re certainly amazing to me. I’ve watched so many sunrises and sunsets and they never get old. I’ve learned so much about myself! I thought I was the expert on me but, figured out, my Higher Power takes that place. My sponsor asked me the other day, “do you think you have another drunk in you?” She meant, do I think I will ever go back to drinking? That day, and today, I can say no. My life is amazing now, I love sobriety. I’ve decided to do something special for my birthday, something with my daughter. I continue the journey for me but she is the reason it started. She means everything to me and I couldn’t imagine spending such a special day with anyone else but with the one I love the most. She mentioned a pedicure, the other day, maybe we’ll do that. Happy sober 24 all.
One day at a time is how we stay sober. In the beginning, it was very important for me to eat supper. After work, I would go on auto-pilot, drive home and cook supper. After I ate, the cravings were gone. I’m glad you are here, stay close.
I bought the book on Audio and have been listening to it. There are many curse words, though, at the beginning (don’t know about the rest of it yet). I have to use ear buds to continue listening. The book absolutely makes sense! Especially about how society (and marketing!) are influencing people’s perception of a perfect life. There simply is no such thing and we’re all tiring ourselves out striving for something that doesn’t exist. I’m liking the book so far.
Great job on a year sober @R51! Such a huge milestone and definitely deserves recognition from you, just you. I’m coming up to a year on the 10th and was wondering what to do. A massage sounds wonderful! I think I’ll do the same. Thank you for the great idea! Enjoy your self-love and, once again, Congrats on a year!
@Soberlinda, sorry you are feeling this way BUT, now you know, booze never delivers unless you’re looking for a hangover, regrets and disappointment. Then you can count on booze to deliver. For some of us, and I was one of them, it takes many attempts at sobriety before we finally get it. For me, my age (aka maturity) had a lot to do with it. I’m 51 and am now mature enough to see that I had my fair share of drinking. My sponsor quit at 21. I would’ve had a hard time believing I had a problem, with anything! at that age. Sometimes, it’s like we have to witness the damage it does before we believe it’s a problem in our lives. That takes time as well. Whatever the case may be, I’m so glad you are here and bravo for posting about your slip. That takes guts and you can pat yourself on the back for having enough to post about your setback. Get some phone numbers and call a sober sister when you feel like picking up. I’m willing to give you mine if you want it. Shoot me a PM if you want.
@DeKomP, thanks for sharing and you are absolutely right about not feeling alone. For some of us, we’ve isolated to get our lives back and that gets lonely too. Your post reminds me that I’m never truly alone. I can choose to be around loved ones. When I was drinking, I didn’t have choices.
@LuluD, sorry to hear about the slips. This quitting drinking is some tough business for sure. We’ve all been there. When I was slipping and sliding, I would step up my game with each relapse. i would add something to my sobriety plan. This eventually led me to AA where I finally found sobriety that sticks. Moving forward is the right direction and staying positive will pay off. Have a great sober day.
D355 ~ Could not close out 2018 without a shout out to my LS tribe! In the beginning, when my legs were so shaky, I needed you people and you were right there for me, every step of the way. I am humbled by the kindness, compassion and empathy granted to me by members of this site. Mrs. D, a HUGE thank you for creating this haven for us drunks to connect and support one another. It’s funny because, when I was drinking, I was so offended to be called a drunk. Now that I’m sober, I’ve realized I’m just an everyday A-type drunk, no better than anyone else. I’m also quite happy that I am, no longer. From the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul, I thank you all for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself! For helping me when I couldn’t help myself and for loving me while I learn to love myself. I love sobriety! I love thriving in it. I wish you all long-lasting sobriety. Work hard for it, it’s worth every effort. I clawed my way here and I deserve to be here! I am not going anywhere because this is where I belong and I own that sh*t! Don’t give your sobriety up for anyone. Nobody, on God’s green earth! is worth that much. You hear me?!? Nobody!! Protect it like you would your child. Nurture it, feed it, pay attention to your sobriety and make sure it is always your number one priority, much like your child. Let nothing harm your sobriety and you will see the benefits, You will begin to see yourself growing in all ways and you will be amazed. I know I am and I continue to be with each passing sober day. Peace out LS community. Please know you are simply the best.
Awe, @littlebluefox, I feel your pain. That’s how I felt (stopping & starting) before I finally stopped for good. You know, something I read recently really helped me and I wish I would’ve seen it earlier. It was, “Done is better than perfect.” We can’t hold ourselves to perfection, we’ll always fail. We can only do our best and, sometimes, it takes stopping & starting to teach us that we can do better, that we want better. We may have to go through what we go through to learn the lesson we are being taught. Nothing is wasted. Before I stopped 355 days ago, I felt the same way, fatter, older, lonely and wallowing in self-pity. I wanted change and by God, I got change, in all it’s many forms. Since I’ve stopped drinking, I’ve stopped smoking, I try to work-out regularly, I’m managing my weight, I’ve got more energy, I eat better, I take care of myself better, everything is better. That is what you have to look forward to. Forget the rear view mirror for now, look down the road in front of you. It’s a lovely view.
@tipsytoegal ~ Glad to read your post this morning. It is truly ironic that we can give up alcohol yet struggle to give up other less toxic things in our lives (or just as toxic things like smoking!). I will never understand that. It’s wonderful to feel like you truly belong somewhere, like Oregon. A place that feels like home. That’s a gift. Happy sober day.
It truly is amazing how much better our lives get without alcohol. In the beginning, I didn’t know how I was going to live without it! Now, AF, I wonder how I lived so long with it! Oh well, the past is gone forever and I’m thankful I’m sober today & coming up on 11 mths. Big huge congrats to you on 8 mths!!
@maril35, I’ve had to make friends with my little girl after many years of shutting her up, tossing her in a corner, keeping her in the dark with her secrets and blaming her for not knowing better. One day, very early in my sobriety, my Higher Power brought her to me and I embraced her, cried with her, forgave her, promised to protect her and love her. Since then, I’ve been playing with her, getting to know her, praying for her and reveling in the many positive traits she has. The experience has been life-changing. I urge you to consider doing something similar. Much love to you & happy sober day.
sorry to high jack your reply but cannot get my comment to post.
@mamatomany Today I am thankful for my afternoon nap when I should have been at work 🙂 I started a tumblr account this weekend, I take a photograph every day of something that I am thankful/grateful for. I want to do it for 365 days. We will see.