I signed up to Living Sober in late April, 2016, and had my last drink about a month later. Back then I was uncertain about the future, but knew I needed to make this change and see where it would lead me. Now, I'm approaching 2 years sober a far calmer, healthier, connected, and more content person. I'm certain that alcohol has no redeeming qualities. So many good things have happened in the last couple of years, but in many ways it's been probably the hardest period of my life with the emergence of panic attacks, depression and anxiety (things I suppressed with alcohol for most of my adult life). While I regret much of my worst drinking, I'll never regret quitting alcohol. I wish good things for you too. On August 20, 2017 I travelled to Porirua to get my tā Moko (Māori tattoo) done. It tells the story of my whakapapa (genealogy), represents the important people in my life, and the cornerstones of how I identify as Māori. The overall shape mirrors the wake of a waka (canoe) plowing through the water to embody my journey through life. Since it was done I feel at peace in my identity, I feel my inner strength shining through and most of all I feel pride. I carry this forward as a non drinker, a father, and a husband.
Kia kaha everyone!
Day 1116 . In Fiji with the family and I’m thinking back to my first sober holiday to Noosa three years ago. Alcohol had always been a big part of holidays in the past. But know it’s all about being present and connected with my daughters and wife and soaking up a new and beautiful place. The best thing about being sober after 3 years is the inner calm. Bula from Fiji!
I felt exactly the same way @chasingthedandelion . I loved the elation of the pink cloud phase where everything felt possible. But then falling off the cloud was tough. Reading about it from Mrs-D meant I was ready but it did suck. The first year there were many ups and downs. It was quite the roller coaster. What I enjoy now is the general inner calm and contentedness being sober has given me. My wise Irish friend Con told me once that chasing happiness is a fool’s game. Finding contentment is far better. Keep going. You have really good insight. You’re doing well!
@chasingthedandelion, th e fear or risk of relapse is mitigated by building a full sober toolbox. I built an actual one and put it under my bed. It contains sweets, a couple of cans of bubbly water, music, phrases, and tips I used to get myself sober. That took my nagging fear away. I know it’s there in case of emergency. I work on my virtual toolbox all the time. I’m in a different place in my growth and sober stability now and my reaction to triggers is different than say, 6 months ago. Again, enjoy your happiness and trust in your emotional growth to keep you sober.
It’s all good @mopar . The good thing about this exercise is you get to have another try, and the end goal will always be there. I’ve lost count of the people I’ve seen go back to day 1 who find it reminds them why they wanted to quit booze in the first place. Keep going. When you’re wavering log in here and draw on the support of your peers. When I was tempted I found it really helpful to imagine the worst time I had drinking, and the reasons I decided to quit. Find something that will work for you and keep going !
I’ve been away from LS for quite a while now, but have caught up with LS friends in other ways. I guess as the struggle gets easier you drift away. But today I mark three years without alcohol and I wanted to come back to the place that was so important in the journey. To all of you in the early days, you’ve made a good decision and you’re in an excellent place to support you in your sobriety. Life isn’t always smooth – far from it actually – but it’s far better without alcohol to muddy the waters! It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Hang in there! It certainly gets easier! And be kind to yourself. If you step backwards it will only be to find more solid footing to keep moving forward. Xo
3. Boom. Your posts (and if I remember correctly blog, especially about how the depression lifted since mine was crushing and I thought nothing could ever get better ever) helped me so very much when I first joined. THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!! You legend you!!!!! oxoxoxoxox And it makes me happy to picture you and other LS members meeting up in the real world. In my ideal scenario we all have coffee and cake and watch the sunset at @Prudence magical harbor home (on the deck!!!) some day soon. Now off to the important question….How to celebrate that 3-year-soberversary?!!! Keen to share? oxoxoxo
I might be a bit late but HUGE congratulations to you my friend @emjaycee. I am so glad I met you and became your friend and so very pleased for you how much better your life is without the booze destroying your cruise. Lots of love xoxo
Hey @Freedomfighter . Aah, the mornings! Yes, having the mornings back is one if the things I value most about my sobriety. I was in the not sure if it’s forever stage for quite some time. Do I really have a problem? Can’t I just moderate and have the best of both worlds? Well I did, and I can’t. Keep going. It does get easier. Eventually it’s not so much a question of wanting to drink again, but rather a case of having too many benefits to your life to give up. Well done for 20 days! You’re a star! Xo
Sorry you are feeling this way @seedynomore . Bloody men aye. Keep going mate. And don’t give up on him. Maybe he’s feeling low about himself and is finding it hard to give love in the way you need. It won’t be about you because you’re awesome! Xo
How good to be here and waking up feeling like a princess in my big bed with views over the Bay. I’m missing out on builder, deck and bathroom work and a grumpy departing tenant downstairs at home. First holiday without kids in eleventy thousand years. How wonderful to meet you guys last night and warmest hugs, good food and instant connectedness. xox
Ha! Your shout for coffee next time @mullycatnz ! My mum told me every time she got a pay rise when she started working and was still living at home , she’d excitedly tell her mum and her board would duly be hiked up. She got wise to that quickly! – nah really we should have another coffee catchup soon once you get settled in ..,
Ha ha, funnily enough Harry said “oh Mum does that mean we get a payrise in our pocket money?” cheeky sod!! Yes, coffee date for sure – I’m away next week to KL so will touch base when I’m back and make a plan before I have to go and behave myself and set a good example in my new role 😉
Thanks @enzedgirl ! Appreciate your support over the last 2 and a bit years e hoa. Yes, welcome to all new members making that decisive step towards charge. Be patient and kind to yourselves. It takes time for things to settle down but by being here you’ve made a huge first stride!
Thanks @delgirl68 . Trying not to be preachy is the fine line everyone here have to tread once they’re sorted. It’s hard though because you’re bursting to share how great sobriety actually Is. but influencing others through example and quietly living well seems to work best! It’s nice when people ask you about it, but not many do.
Hey there @hammer123 . Thanks for your kind words. I think I tried so hard to fit in and blend in and ultimately I mostly kept much of the mess and fallout private. I think I’ve discovered most people don’t take much notice of what I’m up to too. Good to have you here. It’s a great place – no judgement , just support and encouragement!