My Story? Where to start.... 53 years young, successful career, happy marriage, empty nester... But- absolutely lived for partying and the wines and got myself further and further under the control of the booze hag. Had a moment of realisation when firstly, my 15 year old nephew commented on my boozing, I then forgot a long distance conversation I had with one of my sons the night before and finally - woke up (yet again) feeling like absolute crap after stashing a finished bottle in the cupboard after promising myself I wouldn't have a drink the night before. That was it- enough is enough - time to get a life before the one I've been given is drowned in booze. Am loving the clarity of my new AF state and very keen to get to know some of the people in this amazing supportive community.Wow 13/2/2018 and I'm now 1 year and 1 day free of the booze bitch. So grateful for this community and so amazed at how great it has been to find the real me again and to experience life and all its highs and lows in the raw! Feels like I've got a grip on this new life and I'm really looking forward to seeing what the next 12 months brings!
It’s been soooooo long since I checked in here but I guess that’s a good thing if it means I’m more comfortable and feeling stronger with living this AF life. It’s hard to believe it’s over 2 years for me now- that is quite huge! I’m not gonna lie- I still have little “just one” moments but when they happen I feel myself kick the booze bitch to the kerb and soldier on. I live this living this real life – free of the crap that booze is. If you’re new here- stick with us. It’s a tough road but definitely one worth staying on.😊
Wow! That was a major workout for your sober muscles but you did it- you got through one of the toughest kind of situations there are! You go girl! You’ve got this. Enjoy your day free and clear of the shit that booze is!
Haven’t checked in or posted in ages. Could it be that I’ve found my own two feet and the wobbly bits have fallen by the wayside? All I know is that this awesome online community was what kept me going – especially in the early days of this new alcohol free life and I’ll always be so grateful for that! If you’re new on this journey please stick with us here. My counter tells me I’m 753 days AF and I can truly say that it’s bloody tough to get here at times but life AF is the only way! 😊
Definitely, definitely my memory functions better now that I’ve kicked the booze. It was getting to the point where I couldn’t remember anything and even processing things and taking the next step in an activity was hard- my brain was dying! I have a brain that functions again now- it’s so worth it! Good luck x
Wow! Day 700 yesterday and it went right past me without a thought!!! It’s pretty hard to succinctly explain how much better life is without booze! If you’re just starting out seeing how life can be without the booze bitch I really hope you stick with us here. Check in with us as often as you need to because life can can be amazing AF!! 😊
hey @elsa1202 congrats! ha ha it’s such a marker of how smoothly things are going that 700 sailed right past you 😀
hey i don’t know if you remember but i was one of the organisers of the Whangamata gathering and i remember you were keen but couldn’t make it. i’m organising north island get togethers this year, more like day trip ones (not so much overnighters although that could happen too) so if you’re interested pop me an email to email@example.com
Sounds like you’re doing so well @behappy. I think we’ve all had our moments of lurking. Congrats on enjoying all of those special occasions free and clear if booze! Enjoy your holiday and waking up with a clear head each day and look forward to remembering all of it
Wow @enzedgirl. That is a huge number you have right there. You must be so stoked with yourself. Funny- have been getting a bit wobbly these last weeks but each time I come here and read things from people like you I feel motivated again- i know I can’t have just one so I’d rather have none. Never want to back to the depths of a boozy hell ever again. Thanks for your inspiration and massive congrats. 😊
Renewed my gym membership today. I realised it’s the first time ever I’ve kept up going to the gym regularly and actually using the membership I paid for! Can’t help but think that it’s largely down to this AF life I now live. It’s so much easier to get up and out the door in the morning without a stinking hangover, feeling guilty and remorseful. Yet another reason why ditching the booze bitch is a fantastic thing!
Feeling gutted and sad. A surprise ‘boys’ party/boat trip for my son’s birthday is happening this weekend and my husband is not invited because most of my son’s mates will be drinking and its expected they’ll be so smashed out of their brains my husband won’t like it and will get pissed off and just put my son on edge. While I know this is true I feel so sad that our bloody pisshead booze culture means his Dad doesn’t get to party with him and his brothers… what is wrong with us and why is it that getting so f@#&ed up takes precedence over just having a good time??. Secondly – I’ve been sent a video of a friends daughter at her 21st doing her ’21 shots’. She’s standing there looking stunning in her gorgeous dress and after each toast from a family member they hand her a shot to drink. You can imagine how it goes…. I’m really struggling with this – it just makes me angry and sad when I see how much people rely on booze to celebrate and I hate what it’s doing to our rangatahi. I know I probably sound all high and bloody mighty but seriously- this has really got to me. I’m so grateful to be free of that booze bitch… phew, rant over….
I totally get this @Elsa1202 – I hate the messages youth get about drinking, and the fact it often comes from the people in their lives who should be protecting them – not shoving them out there with the idea that drinking to excess is normal. Grrrrr…..
@elsa1202 I am so with you on this! I have teens and teens nieces and nephews and the booze is being pushed so hard at them and it makes me so angry! So many posting photos of drinking but it’s never the next morning feeling like garbage or making choices they will later regret. I struggle with it as well, hopefully they will see us living a happy life without and know that is not only possible but great! Anyway yes! I’m with you!
I can relate to your post @elsa1202. I recently spent time with my son who was very inebriated. I felt so sad. I know he does not cope being around me at times now that I don’t drink. I feel sad his addiction is affecting our relationship. That’s what addiction does to people, families and relationships. So bloody destructive. Take care. Xx
Just had a girls weekend with friends I’ve known since high school. They’re the ones I used to get smashed with, the ones whose hair I used to hold back whilst they chundered on a Friday night…. y ‘ know… It was such a revelation to see how much fun we had without booze being the focus. It just showed that before my last drink 625 days ago I was a true alcoholic and my addiction was real and sad and serious. They all had one glass or maybe two each night but if I’d still been drinking I would have been sneaking more for myself and getting slurry and stumbly every night. So glad to be free of that booze bitch. I’d definitely rather have none than one!
This was great to read and shockingly similar to me. In my 2+ week AF journey I had girls night with life long friends. I just dove in and ordered club soda while they all had wine. I shocked myself! Although there was no need to explain, they were all silently wondered what was wrong. I offered up that I decided to get things under control and begin to take care of myself. which included avoiding alcohol. Who knows, perhaps I gave them courage to do the same!
Does anyone else struggle with the wine witch at this time of year? Summer is in the air! Today is Day 615 and suddenly I feel like I’m missing out. I miss loading the car with beer and wine and things for the barbeque and hosting endless parties over the summer months. What is wrong with me? I need to shake this fug and tell the booze bitch to bugger off. Must be time for another lemon and soda… grrrrr
I feel you. I get those thoughts sometime during summer, too. It’s all lies, though. Remember the parts that we don’t instantly see. The sloppiness, the never-ending thirst, the hangover(!!!), the guilt, shame, tiredness, bags, and general sadness. Get back to the basics of support, and remember how cool it is to be at 615!!! Congrats to you!
@elsa1202 the start of warm weather gets me every time. The thought of a chilled glass of wine on the back patio with neighbors on a summer evening. And then I play that “lovely” thought forward to the entire bottle finished, the stupid things said, the headache and regret in the morning and it wipes that thought right out of my brain. Don’t give in. It’s just your wine witch rearing up, struggling to win the battle that she knows you’re winning.
Like, what is that about after 615 days? Congrats, by the way! I used to crave a hard boiled egg one time a year and I HATE hard boiled eggs. I’d eat one and be ok for a year. I figured my body needed something. Before I smoked I’d dream I did and woke up craving a cig, but I didn’t smoke! I think it was all illusion, just like drinking on a summer day. Our minds are powerful things.
615 days….amazing sober number left and right! oxoxox And you have my compassion for the cravings…..they are real…and they can be really hard….They pass, but boy do they suck when they hit town….. My waves from last week have passed but I was ready to “just get fucked up drunk” for no reason at all….Above all….this is scary, isn’t it?
You’re not alone and this is not your fault. Summer can be such a trigger. Let’s hang in there, for today. And then after that, we do that day, tomorrow.
Here I am D601. So incredible that D600 came and went without a blink!! I came across this quote just now and it summed up my perspective now that I’m living free and clear of the booze. It has probably been shared here before but I loved it and the way it rang so true for me. Happy AF weekend lovelies! … enjoy… “An amazing thing happens when you get honest with yourself and start doing what you love, what makes you happy. Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You stop merely looking forward to special events. You begin to live in each moment and you start feeling like a human being. You just ride this wave that is life with a feeling of contentment and joy. You move fluidly, steadily, calm and grateful. A veil is lifted and a whole new perspective is born”
Day 601….WAY TO GO!!! What a milestone…and thanks so much for sharing this quote, Elsa1202…….so good…it gives me hope because I am currently trying just that…
Make sure to treat yourself to something nice for your big 600…..amazing self-care and self-compassion behind every single one of those precious sober days. I am so glad you are here, and that you stopped by to share this special day with us!!! Makes me smile from ear to ear over here. oxoxox
Tricky times. We’ve had guests staying at our B’nB who are winemakers. They joined us for dinner last night. They came armed with…… wine – loads of it! I have to say I had a moment of ” just a taste, one won’t hurt” etcetc -but of course- I didn’t. Great thing was – they didn’t comment on my not drinking and we had an awesome night. Lots of laughter and chats. Once again my sober muscles got a work out and I was reminded that boozez adds absolutely nothing to life- nada! A beautiful day here today and I’m going to enjoy it completely free of guilt and with a clear head. This life is great AF!!
Ata marie. Hello you lovely lot. Went to see Pink perform during the week. My first concert without any booze on board. Just wow! It was the best concert ever and I know for a fact that a skinful of crappy old booze would have added nothing to my night. Speaking of skin – i bumped into someone I hadn’t seen for over 12 months and she commented on how I looked younger “or something” ! Ha- the glow of a guilt-free life really does shine through!
Yes- I love that since I’ve kicked the booze I just don’t worry about what other people think. I’m pretty sure it was the reason I used to drink so much. Sober, clear and free from worrying about that shit. I just feel so much stronger. You’ve got this!!
Just back from a few days with family- none of whom I’ve spent much time with nor had a great relationship with over the years. I’ve carried a lot of resentment and anger around my childhood and shitty stuff. I had a great time laughing and talking and just spending time; for the first time ever I was able to turn it around in my head and realise that if I don’t get over myself I’m going to miss out on so much. The only thing that’s changed between then and now is me! I dont drink anymore and I honestly believe my (often) clear, calm, rational, booze free brain has a huge part to play in everything. Just a musing I guess – but i reckon it’s another reason to be grateful for a booze free life! Have a super day you lovely lot!
Thank you @elsa1202 right now Im feeling good about it. I have had lots of wobbly times before and no doubt i will again… but I know I can get through it and my sobriety will be stronger as a result. Xx
Sounds like it’s your turn to be receiving love and support instead of giving as you always do @mrs-d. I hope things brighten for you. You’re right – gritty and shitty times are best dealt with sober. Take care of you.
Great to hear you’re learning by being here with us. You’re so right about the brain functioning- once we start to heal and our brain clears things make a whole lot more sense. Stick with us- it’s so worth it!
Just checked my counter and its says D555! I like that! Just thinking about all of the things I have time and energy for now that I’ve kicked the booze bitch out of my life. Some things are only small but they all add up- things like exercising, keeping in touch with friends and recalling those conversations, watching and remembering movies, cooking meals- hell – I even floss my teeth at night now! Best of all- I’ve learnt who i really am and I’m an ok person. Booze offers nothing. Living life free and clear is definitely where it’s at!
It it weren’t for ya gumboots where would ya be @ro ? Love your post. You sound strong and very grounded in your life free of addiction to crap. You definitely have every reason to be really proud of yourself! You go girl!
Good morning you lovely lot! 18 months for me today and I’m feeling pretty bloody rapt about that. I can’t imagine ever being a booze hag again now that my life without alcohol seems so settled. I really wish this AF life for anyone who wants it because it certainly is the only way. There is nothing quite like living life free of all the crap that goes with being addicted to alcohol. If you’re new to this LS journey I hope that you stick with us- there really is a better way of living!
Thanks for sharing this @emjaycee. A brilliant article which is a piece of writing so many people will relate to. I find it hard to hold back when asked how and why I gave up the booze- life is so infinitely better – I wish everyone that needed to could experience the freedom of life AF. It’s not easy getting to this point but as time goes on the benefits certainly make it easier! Thanks again
Aha! So here I sit at D529 having cracked the absolute shits at my husband earlier(about nothing) and have been battling the bloody wine witch who has whispering at me since 5pm… I’m gonna put it down to the moon and go pour another fizzy water. Grrrrrr…..