• ECD66 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    I’d be honoured, Mrs D!! x

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thanks @Ro! You know you were one of the very first people who engaged with me on this forum and I’m forever grateful to you for that x

  • ECD66 posted an update 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Day 368.

    When I hit one year recently, I wrote a blog about it, below.

    xx

    THIS TIME LAST YEAR

    It’s Sunday morning and everyone else is asleep. I’m sitting at the kitchen table, sun streaming through the windows, having that insanely good first cup of coffee of the day, thinking about this time last year.

    On this day last year, I was looking forward to dinner with friends. We’d have a few drinks at home, followed by a few drinks over dinner, then I’d get up on Monday morning ready for the gym and carry on with my week. Right?

    Wrong.

    We had a few drinks at home, in fact I think I had a few drinks before they arrived. Then we had more-than-a-few drinks over dinner: I don’t know why I was compelled to drink quite so much. The company was good, the vibe was relaxed and fun, there was no stress. Then we came home and had even more drinks (liqueur, to mix things up – what fun!).

    I went to bed and woke up at 3am with The Horrors. Then I woke up at 6am knowing there was no way I was going to work, let alone the gym. Once I called in sick, something I never do unless I’m actually sick, I proceeded to cry, a lot, for the next few hours. I was a middle aged woman and phoning in with a booze-related sickie. The thought had been circling in the back of my mind for some time – years perhaps – but it was crystallising this one particular morning: I was dependent on alcohol. I would drink most evenings, and on those I didn’t I had a terrible sense of deprivation. When I accepted social events I’d subconsciously calculate the effect of the likely hangover that would follow. Occasionally I’d try to moderate but these attempts were short lived.

    Back to Monday morning – in between the bouts of crying I picked up my Kindle and searched for “Mrs D is Going Without”. I’d heard a few things about Lotta Dann in the media, and always shuddered when she crossed my radar because, well, she doesn’t drink! At all!

    Suffice to say, Lotta’s story resonated with me h…[Read more]

  • ECD66 posted an update 3 months ago

    It’s my Sober Birthday! One year ago today I woke up with a pounding hangover, couldn’t get myself to work, and picked up “Mrs D is Going Without”. I haven’t looked back.
    Thanks to everyone for all the support along the way 🙂

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    This is hard. One of the things about being alcohol-free is all the shit you dealt with before is still there but you don’t have the alcoholic sheen on it anymore. On the plus side (and it’s a much bigger side), you don’t have to hide behind the alcohol and you can make more rational decisions, no hangovers to make things so much worse. I remember my first argument with my husband after giving up the booze was a real test. Be kind to yourself, you’re doing great. x

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    You can do it, @sarah38. There’s nothing like the feeling you get with the realisation that alcohol no longer owns you. x

    • Yes I add to that you sure can do it! Every move away brings you closer to the value of your own life and the reality of your strength…alcohol just doesn’t want you to see it! Just keep going…

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Nice work, @gottlob! The first couple of weeks were the hardest for me. You’re doing the hard yards now, it gets easier, hang in there (and shit scones are better than no scones imo) x

  • ECD66 posted an update 5 months ago

    Day 301.

    Sunday morning and I’m up before anyone else, enjoying the peace and quiet before hubby and teenage daughter crash the silence haha! This would never have happened this time last year. In fact I think I was at the Takapuna Food & Wine Festival this time last year, drinking as much wine as I could, at $10-$15 per glass, in the pouring rain, pretending to be having a great time and really not (apart from the live music).

    I have my moments; sunny evenings out on the deck, wondering what a glass of wine would be like, but then I pour a long glass of lemondae and fast forward to later that evening / the next morning, and those moments come much less often now. I honestly didn’t think, back in April ’18 when I started this road, I would feel so indifferent about alcohol as I do now. Not taking the sobriety for granted though.

    Now. About that sugar addiction…. 😉

    • Hi ECD66, I couldn’t agree more… its surreal the way greater beatifies and feelings of being awake to the day becomes everything!

    • Congratulations! I’m day 300 today, a day behind you. Well, maybe the same day since it’s Saturday here? Ahhhh, sugar. Working on that one too!

    • Congrats! ❤️

    • So true! We are trailblazers. 😊

    • Part of the reason I’m quitting is because I looked in the mirror and saw how puffy and red my face was. Maybe it’s vanity but I’ve lost the little confidence I did have in my looks. I’m hoping to like what I see in the mirror one day.
      Thanks for the article!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @kitten
    There are the seemingly insignificant ones:
    First Friday night
    First boring dinner party
    First argument with my husband
    First drama with my teenager
    First dinner out
    First work party
    First big day of gardening (I know, but that was wine time for me)

    Then the standard bigger occasions like:
    Birthdays
    Christmas
    New Years Eve
    Summer holidays

    You get the picture! Each one is a notch on my big, blingy, sober belt. It fits better after each one 👍

  • ECD66 posted an update 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Morning all

    I’m hitting the 9 month mark and ticking off sober milestones at breakneck speed. It feels great. It hasn’t always been easy but I’m looking back on it all and feeling pretty damn proud (while not resting on any kind of laurel 😉)

    I’ve signed up for Mel Robbins’ “Mindset Reset” programme (it’s free, not alcohol focused, she’s pretty awesome, Google her sometime) and went back through my notes from January 1. Under “the biggest lesson I learned in 2018” I wrote this:

    “Alcohol does not bring the love / fun / excitement / connection”

    It took me a while, and a few milestones, to work this out but it’s so very true. So to those of you who are in Early Days, trust this process. At some point this truth will come crashing down on you like some heaven-sent bundle of “Fuck YES!”

    Have a great, sober, connected day y’all

    X

    • Hi ECD66, I just came on line and this is the first post I see, one of the reasons why I love this place so much.
      That quote is going to have to be my mantra for the next week as my partner (being a normal drinker) just is not understanding why I can’t join him for a few drinks on his birthday. He has even promised to give drinking a break right after and join me in only AF drinks for a while.
      Now, I would really like to be able to do that, but I know, deep down I know that I will want to drink the next day and the next and not stop again until I am very sick and have ruined all the physical and mental gains I have experienced over the past fourteen days.
      So, it may still be early days for me, but I am going to put my trust in this process.
      Thanks for the post, and congrats on 9 months!!

    • @ECD66 – “F YES”….I concur!

    • I needed to see this, thanks for being an inspiration xx

    • Here here ! Soooo true!!! Congrats btw. I’m just over five months chasing along excitedly behind you! 😂😂❤️❤️

    • hey @ecd66 i reckon feeling proud of ourselves is one of the great gifts of being alcohol free! you enjoy that feeling my dear!

    • “So to those of you who are in Early Days, trust this process. At some point this truth will come crashing down on you like some heaven-sent bundle of “Fuck YES!””

      FUCK YESSSSS!
      Love this.

    • Hi @kitten
      There are the seemingly insignificant ones:
      First Friday night
      First boring dinner party
      First argument with my husband
      First drama with my teenager
      First dinner out
      First work party
      First big day of gardening (I know, but that was wine time for me)

      Then the standard bigger occasions like:
      Birthdays
      Christmas
      New Years Eve
      Summer holidays

      You get the picture! Each one is a notch on my big, blingy, sober belt. It fits better after each one 👍

  • ECD66 posted an update 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Happy New Year everyone!! My first sober one for 35 years. Went to look at fireworks with my little family which NEVER would have happened after at least a bottle of Sauvignon under my belt.
    Also really noticing how ramped up the alcohol messaging is at this time of year, both commercially and on social media. You can’t escape it!
    Anyway I’m off to sleep now with plans to slide down North Head tomorrow on a giant piece of cardboard … something I wouldn’t have done this time last year as I’d be nursing a hangover 😂😂😂

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Nice work Ro!
    Shame about the date scones though

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Hello @cindstar!!! Welcome to the community

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Hey @Hunterga!! Buying that bottle of OJ may well be one of the most difficult moments of your journey. That first little while, when everything is raw, is the hardest and the urge to buckle is strong. It gets so much easier as you go along. Trust this. Well done!!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    I am honoured @hammer123 🙂

  • ECD66 posted an update 8 months, 1 week ago

    Hi everyone,
    Day 203.
    Haven’t been here for a while: currently sitting at Brisbane airport waiting for a flight home to Auckland after the biggest challenge of my sobriety.
    My sister died 1.5 years ago. We were incredibly close. Her death was a factor in my decision to quit drinking as I began to self medicate.
    Her husband had a bday party this weekend (it was a significant one) so I traveled to attend. He rolled out his new girlfriend. And her family. I knew about it but the reality hit me like a slap in the face. Most people at the party only knew me as my sister’s sister and avoided me most of the evening. So I had to work the room, ginger ale in hand, putting on a brave face whilst dying inside. And I bloody did it. I stayed till the end, engaged in conversation, helped the shitfaced people leave, and did my sister and my beautiful nieces proud. I’m exhausted but not hungover. And I’m learning to sit with the pain.
    X

    • Wow @ecd66 that’s some really hard stuff to deal with. Your strength is inspirational to me. What a champion- your sister would be so proud of you ❤️ safe travels home

    • Goodness how incredibly tough that must have been to endure and you made it through ….. so sorry for your loss and big hugs x hope you have some calm days ahead to help get through all the emotions you’ll be facing.

    • Hi @ECD66, that sounds rough, real rough. You did amazing and did do your sister and nieces proud. If you had not been sober who knows how it would have turned out. Give yourself a massive pat on the back-well deserved.

    • Your sister would be sooo proud of you, and you should be too well done XXX This was a huge test and you past with flying colours.

    • wow @ECD66 – use the flight to think about how tremendously well you did in such a stressful situation and how proud your sister would have been to know this and also how her passing had such a positive life changing effect on you with becoming AF.
      Take care and safe travels home xx

    • so proud of you @ECD66. You keeping your family clean and honest.

    • So sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. You are amazing and brave. Your sister would be so proud and your nieces must be also.

    • Legend @ECD66 xxx

    • So happy for you, massive milestone AF to mark your sisters passing sober honouring yourself and all of your family. I bet your nieces were soo happy to have you with them too

    • I’ll bet it meant so much to your nieces to have you there. Tough evening. I lost a sister I was close to 36 years ago, and it still hurts some. Although “that which we love, we never really lose, because that which we love becomes part of us”. Or something like that. A Helen Keller quote. You did good, ECD66.

    • @ECD66 , I don’t usually share my Living Sober life with my wife because this is my AF sanctuary but I just read her your post in its entirety! So moving and inspiring, it makes my issues of the day seem small. Thanks for posting!

  • ECD66 posted an update 9 months ago

    Six months sober today. Yay!!!!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    Good on ya Ro!!! That’s awesome work!!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @maebh!!
    I’m going to crack a cold ginger beer when my friend arrives and I pour her wine…
    I’ll be clear headed at the funeral tomorrow.
    And marriage problems don’t go away because you drink. In fact they just get worse!

    • What a really tough weekend for you family issues and funerals are tough enough without the giving up alcohol stress too. Hope it all goes ok. Will be nice to see your old friend.

  • ECD66 posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Bit wobbly. Friday afternoon. Day 144. Many triggers: old friend staying from Sydney, she doesn’t know I’m not drinking, just picked up a bottle of sav for her.
    Funeral tomorrow and much discord at home. These three things would usually equate to a massively boozy weekend. I know I won’t drink but the desire is strong for the first time in ages… normal??

    • Sounds totally normal to me! Go one minute at a time if you have to and keep chatting on here, you can get thru the ages. Playing it forward is a good trick, imagine drinking, imagine it right through to the morning after, not just the good bits after the first one or two drinks.. but the whole reality…the drunken behaviour…the regrets. .hang in there and the urge will pass. This is alcohol witching hour for me, usually the urge is gone by 7pm or so. It there a nice sober treat you can administer to yourself?

      • Thanks @maebh!!
        I’m going to crack a cold ginger beer when my friend arrives and I pour her wine…
        I’ll be clear headed at the funeral tomorrow.
        And marriage problems don’t go away because you drink. In fact they just get worse!

        • What a really tough weekend for you family issues and funerals are tough enough without the giving up alcohol stress too. Hope it all goes ok. Will be nice to see your old friend.

    • 142 AF days and it doesn’t happen often but I do get the odd feeling after a tough day at work to have just 1 drink. The thing is it is never just one! Way to stay strong we can do this!

    • Totally normal to have those cravings. Let’s surf them instead of letting them throw us off the board into the water. oxoxoxox Eyes on the horizon, all soldiers on board to protect your sobriety. This too shall pass. It always passes. oxxoxo The magic word for cravings and hard, heavy phases in life: Temporary. It is a temporary experience.

    • strong triggers for you. i play it all the way through, after another couple of months or years of drinking, to me daily saying i have to stop, to me lying in bed every morning saying i hate myself and i hate my life. Be strong, friend, you got this. i am at 56 days AF, but wouldn’t change/trade a single one of those mornings for boozing the night before.

    • We’re here for you! @maebh has a great idea with the play it forward trick. Jump on here as often as you need to throughout the weekend. xoxo

  • ECD66 posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hey everyone
    Day 142, haven’t checked in for a while. Feeling good! Amazing how much easier this fight gets as your day count goes up. Went to a meeting recently and the client ordered cocktails for everyone afterwards – I was in the bathroom and when I came out it was waiting for me. I had to ask if there was alcohol in it, she said “of course!” (like it was a given, hahaha) and for the first time I had to tell a relative stranger that I didn’t drink. It was liberating. She was cool, no big deal for her, but quite a big one for me.
    Also, two people I know reasonably well, who I hadn’t told about my decision, have said to me “What do you mean you don’t drink? You must have been drinking at that dinner / party?”. And when I shook my head they were like “man, I wish I could have that much of a good time sober”. I said, but you can. You really can. They didn’t believe me. So I’ll continue to have those good times, waking up fresh the next morning and maybe eventually they’ll see it’s true.
    Have a great day y’all!
    x

    • Great day count @ecd66 a really solid foundation hope you have an awesome day too 🙂

    • Fantastic. The very cool thing about this is you will accumulate a whole lot of people who have never seen you drinking. Its fantastic and very liberating.

    • 142 days!!!
      Way to go!!! And love how you surfed those comments from others.
      It’s such a widely accepted myth that drinking is required.

      oxoxox

  • ECD66 posted an update 11 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 111.
    Friends from the UK have just visited for a week. I was worried it wouldn’t be the same (they visit every couple of years) without the alcohol to fuel things along. Turns out I had no issue with not drinking, or them drinking, at all. And there was something incredibly beautiful about the day we climbed Rangitoto and I was the only one without a hangover. To those of you who are very new to this journey; it does get easier and then it’s just the single best thing ever. I’m not a veteran yet and there will be challenges ahead: I don’t take my sobriety for granted but I do rejoice in it on a regular basis. Keep going!

    • Really happy for you @ECD66. Sober, nature, fresh air, ticks lots of boxes 🙂

    • Awesome! Lovely post! Loved the bit about Rangitoto, fresh hangover free morning are beautiful, and more so when you have the alternative walking alongside you…not that I’m wishing hangovers on anyone but does help to reinforce this sober thing is amazingly awesome

    • Love this! 🙂

    • If you had a photo of you and the others on the top then why not put it in a frame and hang it somewhere. Then when you look at it you will recall how much more you enjoyed that day than the ones with the hangovers.

  • ECD66 posted an update 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    100 days today! Thanks for being around, everyone. I feel strong and resolute. Hurrah! Will go home and celebrate with a kombucha tonight lol xx

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Hi @zoeobs04!
    Everyone is different but for me the first 2-3 weekends were the hardest. I found identifying the. “ danger times” (6-8pm for me) and having a plan for them is a great idea. I’d make sure I had something deliciously NA in the house (Hopt watermelon and lime is a favourite of mine) and distract myself: sometimes by trawling through this forum!!
    And what happens is that after a few of these times, it gets way easier. Honestly. The metaphor about building sober muscles is true. You just have to push through the first bit. Good for you!!! X

    • Thanks EDC66! I’m determined to get through it – but so worried I’ll fail – I’m in NI and have past my “danger time” which is 5pm -8pm so heading into day 5!

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year ago

    80 days! Work party this Friday.
    Usual scenario:
    1. drink huge quantities in order to “make things more interesting”;
    2. spend a fortune on an Uber home
    3. spend the next day half incapacitated due to a hangover.
    This time:
    1. Enjoy the mocktails I’ve asked them to organise and actively take part in every conversation rather than zoning out
    2. Drive home!!!
    3. Pick up my kid from her tramping expedition the next day, completely hangover free.
    Bring it on!!!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Good job, @KJMB. The first few weeks are interesting to say the least. And weekends especially. And yes, what everyone is saying is true, easier it does indeed get. You’re building those sober muscles until eventually (according to my 17-year sober husband) it’s nothing but a passing thought and not a want or need. Keep it up!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Nice work @lars!

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year ago

    Day 65. Checking in, feeling good, thanks for listening.
    x

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    Day 56.
    First time having friends over for dinner; it was so great!! I had no problem pouring wine for the drinkers, not a twinge of envy, had a proper laugh and followed the conversation completely (pre sober me would’ve forgotten half the thread), I can’t quite believe I pulled it off. Two or three weeks ago we went to a friends place for dinner and I spent the whole day in a strop because I had to endure a sober evening. Ended up having a great time. This feels like one very big and important hurdle. X

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    I’m no relationship counsellor, @chameleon, but you need to to what feels right for you and your baby. And if that means keeping your distance for however long you need to, then thats completely okay. I know playing games is not the right thing to do, but you being away from the situation may just be a wakeup call for your man. Keep in touch on this forum (and this will be baby steps: the counsellor and sober week sound like a very good beginning).
    x

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    Day 48, nearly 7 weeks. Would actually really love a drink tonight. I don’t know why, after managing so well for so long (for me), I’m so tempted to give it all away. Am I coming off the pink cloud? Anyone else have experience of this? Not sure when Stage 3 kicks in. I heard the 3 stages are
    1. Learning not to drink (for me that was the first month or so)
    2. Learning to live without drinking (this is me right now)
    3. Learning to enjoy life without drinking (really? does it happen?!)
    I feel ridiculously hard done by right now. Why shouldn’t I enjoy a nice Sav this evening after doing all the housework? (Weirdly I find myself doing less housework since being sober as I realise my ‘reward’ was a glass of wine at the end of it all. Maybe thats a good thing haha).
    Sorry to blather on in a state of feeling sorry for myself, but this is No Judgement Central, right? Any thoughts very welcome.
    x

    • @ECD66 – yep, I have thought and felt the same many times. The “Why me? This isn’t fair! Why can everyone else drink but not me? ” Totally understand how you would feel hard done by. I think it took a few really enjoyable sober nights out, and witnessing some other people getting messy drunk that gave me some perspective. Also, I kept a journal which I’d look back on to remind me that actually, my drinking was total shit, only dysfunctional and in no way fun or positive. When I was in stage 2, focussing on the negatives of booze helped xo

    • What you’re feeling is so normal, stay strong and you teach your body once more that you are in control not your addiction, every time you do that you get stronger. Just say no today.

    • Yip, that is normal @EDC66, just don’t give in to the booze voice. Play it forward, would you stop at one? I know I wouldn’t. Just for today, find some other treat for doing house work (something yummy to eat or a bath perhaps, curling up with a good book and a nice herb tea?) Ride the wave, it will pass xx

    • Don’t know if the process is that linear to be honest. I know that it took a lot of hard looking at myself and who I am to genuinely be comfortable with not drinking. I actually had a mental breakdown during my final stages of drinking and getting sober wasn’t any different. Once it came right, it was quick.

    • One thing someone (sorry can’t remember who) suggested was to say to yourself. If I had a drink right now, how would that make what is happening any better? Be real about your answer!! If you are feeling hard done by, you need something else nice to do that you enjoy. We have to think of other ‘rewards’ – get a massage, buy a decadent magazine that you wouldn’t normally buy, spend some money on yourself somehow. Just don’t drink.

    • Oh yes, enjoying life without alcohol does happen, but not without serious rebuilding the neural pathways in our brains, and changing our values. How long did it take for you to learn the societies beliefs around alcohol? How long did you follow those beliefs? Undoing values/ beliefs and habits takes varying degrees of work – for some it seems way harder.
      Revisiting why you gave up can be great. That is only half the story though – the rest is your journey now – finding what real happiness is, not chemically induced fun and happiness.
      Exciting!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks @ro

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    Hey everyone
    42 days (6 weeks) today. I can’t believe it! Mixed emotions: up and down, all the stuff I was numbing out hitting me around the back of the legs when I’m doing something innocuous like folding laundry. It takes me down but not out. Grateful to have this place to come and reset.
    X

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Yeah @enzedgirl!! X

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks @ro xx

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Hey @kimbo. That’s truly awful. Do you have someone to talk to? If you feel tempted to numb out, fast forward 2 hours, then end of the evening, then tomorrow morning. It will be way worse.
    We are here for you
    X

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    Day 34.
    Revelation… after spending all of yesterday completely pissed off because I couldn’t drink at last nights boozy dinner party, I went along and IT WASNT THAT BAD. The anticipation was way worse! I had a good time! I was in bed by midnight! I did40km at spin class today!!
    Old scenario would have been: 1.5 – 2 bottles of sav, no gym, grumpy me all day, eating my body weight in sugar and fat.
    This Sober gig is a roller coaster. I love it. X

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Nice work!!! Imagine the comparison between your morning and theirs

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    Day 33.
    Out for dinner tonight with a group of friends: it’s a regular thing .. we alternate venues and each host has a country whose food they cook based on drawing a letter out of a hat the dinner before. Vietnam tonight.
    Usually a boozy affair: today I’ve been in the FOULEST mood and I think it’s because instead of anticipating the drunk haze I’m kind of dreading the AF thing. My husband doesn’t drink and one other woman drinks hardly anything but everyone else will be drinking heavily. Normal? Presume this is just early stage AF stuff?

    • Sounds pretty normal @ecd66 hope it goes OK for you 🙂

    • Hi, the rare times I made it into 30+ AF days I ended up feeling like this whenever a similar event came up. Strange really; i was happy in myself and I did not feel the need to drink but was annoyed that I put myself into a situation where other people would be drunk, as for me it usually ended with me joining in the drinking and hating myself for it. Because it never was just the one glass i envisaged-the reason why I am on this journey is because I have lost all portion control…
      It is good that you are aware of how you feel because you can think the whole thing through and prepare. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t drink and that’s that. There is still part of your brain that is used to having a drink and it is annoyed that it can’t join in. It will need a bit of time to adjust, but please keep at it. Any cravings will pass and (I am writing this on yet another Day 1) there is absolutely NOTHING to be gained from joining in. Wishing you all the best, let me know how you get on xx

    • Yip im finding (day 145) that with each social occassion it gets easier and easier. bloody hard i know but i hang off the words of the more experienced AF members on here that it keeps getting better 🙂 You can do this!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Beautifully written. You’re an inspiration to those of us still sitting in the lower numbers!!! (From Day 34)
    X

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    My 5th sober Friday night in a row … pretty tough week with hubby back from traveling and us getting used to living together again. Normally I’d zone out with a sav but S.O.B.E.R = Son of a Bitch Everything’s Real!!!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    @ro that’s amazing. Your kids will be proud of you (whether they show it or not). What a great example for them: it’s a gift.

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Hi there @gcs3!! This is a great place to be 🙂

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    A good friend, 17 years sober, sent me this today…
    “Sobriety..isnt just about staying dry..its about making a decesion to hve a deeper more profound life.Its not about running from fear but looking it striaght in the eye, knowing you will get through it, its knowing you dont have to walk this road alone and trusting your own power within, its about love and service, its about being gentle with yourself, you are a warrior because you choose to feel every fiber of your being and that takes courage..that is where the freedom is.”☺hugsxx

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 2 months ago

    So i told some extended family about my month of not drinking and my intention to not drink again and they were not supportive at all. It threw me. Anyone else had this?

    • A bit as in my fam ig is normal to drink with several of us heavy drinkers. If i am truthful when my brother stopped 8 years ago after drinking consistengly for years i probably wasnt the support i could have been. Its our own bodyvand our decision and while it is great if they do their reasons might be very differentvto what you think. Sometimes they may not wzntvto have an expectation or they fear they also have a prob. We are your support crew too.

    • My Dad certainly didn’t get that I was giving up and wasn’t that supportive. It has more to do with his relationship with alcohol than his relationship with me. He accepts it now 2 & 1/2 years on lol. People don’t like change. Stick with it and they will soon see that you are a better version of yourself X

    • I agree with @kirst…some people don’t like change. It’s super hard (for me) but you have to realise it’s their issue and has nothing to do with you. I mean it’s crazy when you think that someone wouldn’t be super happy that you want to better your life! Funnily enough, my 85yrs old MIL who drinks a sip of wine on special occasions has taken my new sober life the hardest!

    • Hi ECD66 4 weeks without a drink is not a big deal for a lot of people in fact for most people and family members often just sit back and watch– their attitude is show me don’t tell me
      Well done with 1 month

    • A couple of years ago I quit drinking for 6 months and told my Mom and sisters.
      Their response was not support but amazement.
      They literally could not fathom why I would ever quit drinking.
      I tried to explain but I could tell they didn’t understand.
      I don’t talk to them about it anymore and they don’t ask.

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Haha nice work @Ro

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Yep you so will. Booze is not the answer, its actually a way to compound all the problems into one (or two, in my case) wine bottle. Drinkers amnesia is a tricky little beast. Mrs D talks about fast forwarding through the evening or into the next day… what does it look like an hour after that first drink, or at bedtime, or the next morning?
    Well done on Day 6 and here’s to Day 7!

  • ECD66 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Thanks @Agirl! How is Day 6 treating you? It absolutely get easier… One of the many reasons I’m determined not to go back to Day 1 is that first week or so was pretty rough for me. So you are my hero too xx

    • Day 6 has been good. I beat the first strongish cravings today. Things are very uncertain at work – that may have been the trigger. Or my brain was just doing its usual self destructive thing. Anyway – one day I will be as long in the sober tooth as you!!!

  • ECD66 posted an update 1 year, 2 months ago

    Day 29. Four whole weeks sober; never been done in my adult lifetime. Spent Saturday at a fashion show / event at a very nice hotel in Auckland. Ticket included a glass of bubbles: I may as well have asked for the moon on a string when I requested something non alcoholic. Got it in the end but boy was it a hassle! Later that afternoon someone collapsed at the back of the room; the speaker had to stop and ask if there was a doctor in the house. I assumed it was the heat but nope, she was shitfaced.
    Drinks in the hotel bar followed by dinner with friends signalled my first “real” social experience since Day 1. It was pretty hard. I could have murdered a glass of wine in the bar; dinner not so much. But Friday nights at home have become easier so I guess, as my husband said, that’s another one “under my belt”.
    Feeling strangely flat right now though. A bit sad that this is it; no more boozy nights. But I have forgotten what the boozy nights represented: hideous mornings, embarrassing situations, talking absolute shit to people and forgetting the entire conversation – but most of all those hideous mornings.
    So bring on Month 2, and thank you all for being here. x

    • Wow 4 weeks. You are my hero XXXXX. (From day 6 🙂 )

      • Thanks @Agirl! How is Day 6 treating you? It absolutely get easier… One of the many reasons I’m determined not to go back to Day 1 is that first week or so was pretty rough for me. So you are my hero too xx

        • Day 6 has been good. I beat the first strongish cravings today. Things are very uncertain at work – that may have been the trigger. Or my brain was just doing its usual self destructive thing. Anyway – one day I will be as long in the sober tooth as you!!!

    • Fantastic @EDC66 that took huge strength to not drink at a big glam event like that!! Bet you were glad it wasn’t you that flaked out!! I got sick of being that very same girl so stopped…simple as that!! Wanted better for myself and my relationships with people. I went through a bit of mourning but it doesn’t last too long if for every one of those thoughts you think of a bad memory with drink, it works!! My god the shit I’ve spun to random people I don’t know out socialising…so embarrassing!! So true on the drama it is to get a non alcoholic drink, and even more so if you ask for one in a wine glass…. don’t judge me just do it, you’re getting paid too lol!! Keep up the fab work, you’ll love it soon I promise x

    • Awesome… never forget those hideous mornings. Life rocks without them! ! Go you @ECD66 every morning can be great what a gift you’re giving yourself for the rest of your life x

    • One month is amazing self-care wrapped up in a beautiful number …way to go!
      oxoxoxox
      And sorry to hear about the person collapsing due to being drunk. God….alcohol brings so much unnecessary suffering. 🙁

      And all those feelings…the grief…the “blah” days….the sadness…it’s ok to let them be and let them pass….they are always temporary and depart again….and are part of leaving behind this madness that is alcohol. I cried over it, had anxiety attacks over not being able to drink at tense social events……it’s a process….and you will come out stronger, better, healthier, and happier. It won’t always be this hard.

      oxoxoxox

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