• I’m so grateful for ur stories

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 2 months ago

    @malibustacey you seem very caring. Thank u

    • That’s how it works around here, aye @Donnamaree26. Thank you for calling in here tonight. It means a lot. Night ~ gonna hit the hay with a book. Nothin’ like fresh sheets, y’know. Stick REAL close to this site, like glue. There’s usually someone always on it, or not too far away from somewhere around the globe.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    I’m good. All good. Thank u for caring. Need to work stuff out

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Thank u

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    I’m good. I guess it’s good I’m thinking this

    • @donnamaree26, m’friend, you might get a bit sick, if you’ve had antibuse on Sunday. Are you in NZ? Either way ~ you might get more than just ‘a bit’ sick if you have anymore vodka, aye. Any chance of putting yourself to bed and calling it quits?

    • I’m good. All good. Thank u for caring. Need to work stuff out

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    See I think that. But I can’t live my life working then going to bed at 5am. I love my bed

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    God I’m sad

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    At home. 8 smornoffs in. Sad. Crying. How come I can’t phone someone. Someone brilliant.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Thank u I need to remember er that. My partner…who I adore is an alcoholic. I have to control what I can

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 2 months ago

    If anyone could offer me their help I’m be so grateful. Please. I’m actual a lovely person

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 2 months ago

    I don’t even know what to say. Took antibuse on Sunday. Then today my partner was drinking. Drove to super liquor. Sat outside for 10minutes crying. Bought smirnoffs. Here I am. Red faced heart beating regretting and lost. I wish I could drive and call someone when I’m sat outside the booze shop. I hate the word booze. I hate the word drunk. God I’m sad

    • Ro replied 2 months ago

      Can you go home and get to bed? Feeling for you. You’re not sad, you’re human and addicted to alcohol. That’s ok so was I. You want to change, you’re trying to. Stick at it. Don’t worry about anyone else except yourself. You have to look after #1. Sending you a hug through the stratosphere 🤗🤗🤗

      • Thank u I need to remember er that. My partner…who I adore is an alcoholic. I have to control what I can

      • See I think that. But I can’t live my life working then going to bed at 5am. I love my bed

    • Did you drink any alcohol? If you did be very careful with antibuse in your system. I was told if you drink when on it have a bucket at hand and phone to dial for an ambulance. Scared the shit out of me.
      You are not sad at all, you are doing well. I’ve slipped up for a couple of weeks, it’s not easy, but it gets easier. Forget about today. There is always tomorrow. Xx

    • Where are you now? @Donnamaree26?

    • Hey Donnamaree26 …..we are here and we hear you …….you are not at all sad ….. ………..There are the numbers at the top of the page for the alcohol helpline 0800 787 797 .
      Plenty of support here for you too …..you are not alone xxxx

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 5 months ago

    No response. Im on my own 😚

    • You aren’t on your own at all @donnamaree26….it’s just a time when not many people are posting. We are all in this battle together, all on the same rocky path, helping and supporting one another where we can….some with humour or unconventional writing style….it may appear “airy fairy”, but it would be a boring old world if we were all the same. Take care…☕️😃

    • I have been where you are right now. It is a very uncomfortable, unhappy place to be. Removing the alcohol has put me in a happier place and the people on this site have really helped.

    • I’m here too. That’s a crowd. Hope you’re ok.

    • Hey @Donnamaree26 You are totally not on your own! So very many of us are here for the same cause. Stay here and don’t drink. Everything will get so much better!

    • No- you are definitely not alone. Some days tons of folks respond, other days not so much. Stick around- it’s worth it!

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 5 months ago

    I feel bad for reading posts that are airy fairy. This is a battle. It’s mine. Yet I’m here.

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 5 months ago

    People with partners who drink…help

    • A couple of years ago I stopped drinking for about 6 months.
      My husband drank heavily on the weekends at that time.
      It sucked. However, I would go to bed early ( even if we had company), go for walks, and sometimes post here while bawling my eyes out.
      It was hard. Really hard. We argued about it alot but I did it.
      I wish you all the best and I hope this helped a little.

  • Has anyone tried antibuse? I kinda think I’m weak if I can’t do it on my own????

    • No I haven’t but I understand some on here have.

    • @donnamaree26 if you read through the feed you will no doubt find many others have used Antabuse to help. It is a personal decision and not about being weak, we all use different ways to get through this. Hopefully, someone who has tried it will respond to your question soon.

    • I take it and have since I did my home assisted detox. I take it every night with my other meds it’s just another pill it’s like a security blanket for me as when the wine witch speaks I have 24 hours before it’s out of my system and by then the wine witch has gone

    • @tim currently is. I have not but absolutely see it as a valid way to get through those first days/weeks/months until new habits can be established.

  • I’ve been very abusive on here and I wish to apologize. My mother in law just told me I might lose some weight in my new job. I just feel like telling her to fuck off

    • @Donnamaree26 sounds good to me ..x

    • The reason we are all here @donnamaree26 is because we are someone we don’t want to be when alcohol is running the show. No one judges you for that. Glad to see you here xxx

      • PS I think it sounds like the MIL needs to learn not to say anything at all, if she can’t say anything nice …..

        Not that I’m advocating telling her to fuck off 🙁

    • Oh family joys. My family is so nuts my cousin actually stabbed her mother in law while they were cooking. She went to jail. So see you are quite normal. just say those things in your head to keep your husband hanging around. Merry christmas, dont drink.

      • @jamieann yes, my Dad’s family (paternal side) is so nuts my brother actually stabbed my Dad in a drinking brawl. Thank God I wasn’t there….however, my brother did come live with me for a year after that…and it was almost 30 years ago. Insane. I know when I get abusive that I’m just really hurt/upset and grasping to anything I can because I really want help. I pray that things mellow out for you….after a time being AF we learn to handle things that use to baffle us. Such as the mean comment your MIL made. Hang in there…..don’t let anyone take away your sparkle!

  • Why is alcohol such an issue? Coz it’s a brain fucking chemical

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    HI. I am so sorry for what I said last night.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Always. Not really but yes

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Tell me….how do u differentiate non drinkers to drinkers comments? I sound like a drinker? To someone like me that’s sad

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Judgemental yes. So I’m. Passionate. Nah I’m disgested

    • Tell me….how do u differentiate non drinkers to drinkers comments? I sound like a drinker? To someone like me that’s sad

    • Alcohol effects your brain and rational thinking. We’ve all texted or rung people drunk. It’s not sad it’s the really raw reality of that demon alcohol. You can honestly fix this and feel better.

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 8 months ago

    @lucylocket thank you for making me realize pathetic. I will. never come here again. I wanted help. Never gothought it. Thank. U xx

    • hi @donnamaree26 hope you are ok, take care of you x

    • @donnamaree26 no one is judging you. People are here to help and support and share their own experience. We have all had massive struggles, daily, weekly or monthly, but we all know we are better people with out the booze. There are loads of people here cheering you on. We will be here for you to off load when things are tricky and share and cheer you on in the good times. We all know how tough it can be. Hang in there. No One here is judging you!!! For a start they are good people and @MrsD is an excellent admin and wouldnt allow it. This is a safe space. Keep coming and listen to the advice on offer and things will improve for you. x

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 8 months ago

    The friendliest place. JudgementAL one person = gone

    • It’s not judgemental here at all. People are really understanding . Your typing, responses , and phrasing present as drinking language. We’ve all been there and know how to recognise it. Honestly , alcohol is such a bad demon you would be so happy to get that out of your life. If you visited here regularly you would realise @ro and @lucylocket are such awesome people. They are there in the good and bad times honestly.

      • Judgemental yes. So I’m. Passionate. Nah I’m disgested

        • Tell me….how do u differentiate non drinkers to drinkers comments? I sound like a drinker? To someone like me that’s sad

        • Alcohol effects your brain and rational thinking. We’ve all texted or rung people drunk. It’s not sad it’s the really raw reality of that demon alcohol. You can honestly fix this and feel better.

    • Sometimes, or actually quite often, I lash out in anger when I am really scared, and I push people away….even though I actually want closeness and community and feel like I belong…… I am not saying this is what is happening here, but it sounds like there may be anger present, and I wonder what it is really about……. The people here are sweet and supportive, and yet even with the best intentions sometimes online communication (just like emails or texting) misunderstandings can happen.

      I hope you stick around if you feel like maybe there is some positive in being part of a support forum, and if not, that is very understandable too.

      Do what feels right for you.

      You have my compassion for how it feels today. Regardless of what the situation is or how it came about, we all want to feel peaceful and calm and content. And when we don’t, well…it sucks and is hard.

      I believe you can get sober and stay sober, if this is what you wish to give yourself.
      It may require support, or maybe not. But you can do this. And you are welcome here, just as you are. Whether you’re still drinking, or sober, or not sure if you want to stop drinking just yet.

      oxoxoxo

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Out of order? Asking for help? Nah I’ll never do that again . I’ve proved people judge

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 8 months ago

    @lucylocket nah no good. U made MD feel.like shit. End of

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    U need to revisit. I don’t drink yet u judg ed mr

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Oh funny. Did u not judge me?

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 8 months ago

    @ro judgemental fucks

    • Out of order. “ our ethos is one of non-judgemental support and kindness.”

    • Yeah that’s not acceptable language, Donnamaree26.
      We are all adults here and I believe you can do better than this.

      When you are ready to come and play compassionately, we will be here.

      xooxoxoxo

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    I’m not ready for that Internet bollocks. And I’m like you. No filter. But needs to be said.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    See even that’s making me cry. I’m fucked

    • Crying is ok, totally ok. I am at day 28…. again. at the start I use this a lot, daily check ins helps me. Also I have had some good advice about family stuff too. I take what helps…. And people are respectful and you get different perspectives which is interesting…..I think many of us are not used to getting the support we need in life so it feels a bit strange, but I love that people are open…..tell their stories, etc…..
      Anyway that is my take. Also kind of cool people are all round the world, …. I like that.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Yip I know it boils down to me. And I’m ‘s strong woman. Hard to believe. Sometimes I just think.people say what they think u need to hear

    • Ro replied 8 months ago

      Not me- I have to rein myself in here on a daily basis to be honest. I can’t understand a lot of the people here, and I am fond of foot in mouth syndrome @donnamaree26 too bad if my opinion is not the same as theirs, and I don’t try to be offensive but I can’t help it if someone takes it the wrong way. I’m not really into pussyfooting around, and sometimes get sick of people that don’t seem to want to help themselves.
      Sometimes a different way of looking at things can put a whole new slant on a situation. I’m not really into pity parties so much. I’ve stopped commenting on several peoples posts here, because I can’t trust myself not to send them into a spin, and that’s not conducive to helping them, so yeah best if I stay quiet.

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 8 months ago

    Do people get too attached here?

    • Ro replied 8 months ago

      To what? I’m pretty attached to some great people I have met here, but if the site went pear shaped tomorrow I’d be ok on my own, because in the end it boils down to me.

      • Yip I know it boils down to me. And I’m ‘s strong woman. Hard to believe. Sometimes I just think.people say what they think u need to hear

        • Ro replied 8 months ago

          Not me- I have to rein myself in here on a daily basis to be honest. I can’t understand a lot of the people here, and I am fond of foot in mouth syndrome @donnamaree26 too bad if my opinion is not the same as theirs, and I don’t try to be offensive but I can’t help it if someone takes it the wrong way. I’m not really into pussyfooting around, and sometimes get sick of people that don’t seem to want to help themselves.
          Sometimes a different way of looking at things can put a whole new slant on a situation. I’m not really into pity parties so much. I’ve stopped commenting on several peoples posts here, because I can’t trust myself not to send them into a spin, and that’s not conducive to helping them, so yeah best if I stay quiet.

    • I think it is a very healthy place. Use it as it suits you.

      • See even that’s making me cry. I’m fucked

        • Crying is ok, totally ok. I am at day 28…. again. at the start I use this a lot, daily check ins helps me. Also I have had some good advice about family stuff too. I take what helps…. And people are respectful and you get different perspectives which is interesting…..I think many of us are not used to getting the support we need in life so it feels a bit strange, but I love that people are open…..tell their stories, etc…..
          Anyway that is my take. Also kind of cool people are all round the world, …. I like that.

    • I think it is what works for each of us. Everyone is different, we just have the same end goal in sight

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 8 months ago

    And please don’t tell me to go to aa or alanon

    • Ro replied 8 months ago

      Have you heard of rational recovery? You can google it and read some stuff online I found it helpful as @donnamaree26

      • I’m not ready for that Internet bollocks. And I’m like you. No filter. But needs to be said.

  • Donnamaree26 posted an update 8 months ago

    What do people do when their partner is a big drinker. I can’t keep going to bed at 5.30 when summer is coming. And to be honest I know I’m dumb. I know I’m weak.

  • I’ve decided to go alone. Somehow I think following people is just as much of an addiction. I love and adore all of u and each to their own. If I have to follow people to inspire me…ni

    • You OK?
      Partner still drinking a lot?

    • Come back when you want. More then talking bout addiction, but the reality of life. Angst,anger,sad,down, its all here via the members. And laughs and huge understanding of patterns of behaviour as addiction is behaviour. Xo

    • It can be… I think….(addiction to people…co-dependency is a real thing) but…..I have found that here, it is NOT that… it is CONNECTION which is the #1 thing most people do not have in life… which then becomes the #1 reason folks get INTO an addiction in the first place.

      I have always felt I must live life 100% independently….with no help from anyone. Because what is it other-wise… without the “in” it means “dependent.” Yea, I can see why that would feel scary.

      Connection IS scary…. vulnerable…ACCOUNTABLE and yes, sometimes dependent. But in a GOOD way. Because the truth is, we do not HAVE to do it alone…. we get to choose in every moment when we want to connect and when we want to disconnect. It is the BALANCE of the two that is important.
      So I admire your determination to do this recovery path at all…. that right there deserves mad respect….but I sure do hope you let us join you once in awhile on the journey….it really does help and rather than make you “transfer addictions”…it will strengthen you and heal you in ways you wouldn’t believe.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Are u and I long lost twins???

    • @Donnamaree26 ~ I’m glad you are here. If we drinkers were to predict the outcome of our stopping, we would all likely be wrong. Sobriety brings so many gifts, none of us would’ve guessed that. We were all scared, like you, to stop. So scared, we stayed sick for far too long than we should have.
      Maybe your partner wants to stop too and will be encouraged by you stopping. We never truly know what sobriety will bring to our lives but, whatever it is, it will be good.
      Just don’t drink for today and do the same thing everyday. Feeling out of control and depressed is part of the negative effects of alcohol (of which there are many).
      Don’t pick up that first drink and post here when you feel tempted. We can help but you need to reach for it. Stick around and become one of the lucky ones.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Thank you. You rock xx

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    I’m with you xx

  • Hi guys. In the past like 10years ago I.suffered terribly with depression. Admitted to two mental institutions. Funny thing I was never a drinker. I a m feeling real down today after a month solid of drinking 12 stubbies a night. I have a partner who drinks everyday but loves me to bits. As do I. I just feel a bit out of control. What of he gets bored when I give e up? I’m actually really strong and just think “well it wasn’t meant to be” bit then get real uneasy. It unhinged me I always think.If I saw someone in my situation I’d hug them and say do it for you. He came home tonight and knew I wasn’t right bit wanted to go to rsa an f I said go. He said u won’t get growly? No I won’t. I cried like a baby when he left. I’m list but I’m strong. Confused yes. I’m he a Lou a of people with non or outperforming partners.

    • All I know is that alcohol is a depressive drug and the worst thing you should add to your life.
      Before it becomes a problem quit if you can

      • Thank you. You rock xx

      • Are u and I long lost twins???

        • @Donnamaree26 ~ I’m glad you are here. If we drinkers were to predict the outcome of our stopping, we would all likely be wrong. Sobriety brings so many gifts, none of us would’ve guessed that. We were all scared, like you, to stop. So scared, we stayed sick for far too long than we should have.
          Maybe your partner wants to stop too and will be encouraged by you stopping. We never truly know what sobriety will bring to our lives but, whatever it is, it will be good.
          Just don’t drink for today and do the same thing everyday. Feeling out of control and depressed is part of the negative effects of alcohol (of which there are many).
          Don’t pick up that first drink and post here when you feel tempted. We can help but you need to reach for it. Stick around and become one of the lucky ones.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    If u are posting here ur just about there

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    I’m so with u

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    You are so nice?

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Thank u xx

  • I need help. My partner whom I love DEARLY drinks every day. Every night I say to myself drunk “I’m over this”. I’m scared to lose him. He always says he would support me. I know the cliches. You won’t be boring. You will be better. I’m bawling with tears

    • Welcome here. You’ve come to the right place and good on you for posting. I’d think about what you need for YOU. I know it’s hard when your partner drinks, but each person has to decide for themselves, maybe after a few days alcohol free things might seem a little different, don’t beat yourself up. Just give it a go! We can support you

    • Many of us here will understand how you feel. My partner is still drinking and doesn’t want anyone to tell him when to stop. It was the same when I was still drinking, even if I was drinking too much he would not tell me to stop – his logic is we are adults and should be (ir)responsible for our own drinking (and our own hangover!). That’s partly why i find this group so good. You can hop online any time and feel supported simply by reading others’ posts. We’re all doing our best to make better choices. I find remembering how shit I felt the morning after the last time I drank is still working for me, though I have to admit I’m a bit worried as time passes I’ll be nostalgic about drinking. Day 21 today and so happy I am going to bed clear headed!! Kia kaha, e hoa ma.

    • Welcome here, and way to go for being brave and reaching out. That does take courage. I mean it.
      oxoxox

      First, it sounds like you are a codependent of a person with substance abuse problems. The first book I ever read about codependency (my father is an alcoholic, and I have a pattern of being codependent) was the classic: “Codependent no more” by Melody Beattie.

      You might find that one helpful. I loved it, and it opened up my eyes to the fact that the drinker is NOT the only person with a problem. The codependent is also “dis-eased as in not feeling healthy and well and safe. He/she is at dis-ease.

      On top of reading books about being a codependent, you may find attending Al-Anon meetings helpful. They were designed for family members or friends etc. of alcoholics. In these meetings they talk about practical ideas on how to be with an alcoholic, but more importantly also good advice on how to take good care of yourself while you are with someone who has a substance abuse issue.

      In my humble opinion you cannot love or control or manipulate or change anyone into sobriety. Even with a professionally staged intervention, this is often not guaranteed, but I would still encourage you to seek out counseling with a therapist or clinical counselor. Even if you husband does not want to change you still have choices and can act, instead of reacting and being the enabler.

      I would like to add this is not your fault. And I also believe it is not the drinker’s fault. Alcohol addiction is an illness, like diabetes. It should be met with compassion, kindness, and the right support. But just like how some diabetics ignore and deny and minimize the damage they are causing themselves and others….they lose a limb or two. And some alcoholics go down that far as well, before realizing something needs to change.

      Over the years when I drank the most, a few friends jokingly criticized and pointed out my drinking. Back then, I was so strong in my denial, you could have said…[Read more]

  • It’s so funny when u know booze is ducked. Excuse the language

    • Ducked? was that meant to be the f word?

    • Oh, I agree 100%!! After reading Vale’s book “Kick the drink” it really felt like something in me shifted from “missing out on fun fun fun and drinky drunk” to “Oh God…why did I poison my precious and only body for so many years with this depressant and carcinogenic liquid?”

  • Can everyone please give me some advice….how do you deal with partners that are still HUGE drinkers??

    • I think all you can do is realise that it’s you that has changed, not them, @Donnamaree26, and focus on doing the best you can for you. Not easy though. My hubby is supportive to me but still drinks a lot of beer. Hard to put up with when he gets stupid!

    • It’s all about you @Donnamaree26 – one foot in front of the other – stay close here and not while lots of drinking going on around you. You’ll find after a while that your not drinking may rub off on them as they see you blossom – I’ve definitely experienced that. It’s pretty rewarding too. Be the leader you know you can be 🙂

    • A good counselor can open up the lines of communication and can see alot more than we do as we’re in the big middle of the problem. A good counselor can pull you both back to the middle ground , get good communication & listening skills going and bring love, compassion and compromise [hopefully, if that’s want you both want] back to the frontlines of your relationship. And be able to get to the root of the alcohol problem.

      A great book for self reading is “Addition is the Symptom” by Rosemary Ellsworth Brown

    • First question: Was your partner a HUGE drinker before you stopped drinking or did it happen all of a sudden?
      Second question: Did you expect your partner to quit drinking because you decided to quit drinking?
      Third question: Is this causing a problem in your relationship and have you been able to discuss it?
      • Your sobriety is your journey and if you choose to remain on this path you will need to make yourself and your sobriety a priority. If that is unacceptable to your partner or if your partner isn’t able to comprehend it’s importance to you, then, @JanB has given you some great advice about counseling.
      • My husband isn’t a huge drinker. He enjoys a couple of cocktails on Friday and Saturday evenings and various special occasions. He’s one of those rare folks who can moderate. I’m just thankful he doesn’t drink wine – that would be a problem for me.

    • Hey @Donnamaree26. I agree with all of the above. My husband continues to drink heavily. I’m just over one year sober. He stopped in the early days, with me, for about 4 months. So he is supportive and proud, and in the words of @gettingthere, “My hubby is supportive to me but still drinks a lot of beer. Hard to put up with when he gets stupid!”
      I see changes in him but it’s best for me when I focus on me and what I need to be doing. I if keep my mind on me I don’t get so affected by what he is or isn’t doing. Take care xx

      • I hear you @donnamaree26…. My husband too drinks a lot….. (He was home drunk and asleep tonight at 730 after social day out playing bowls……)
        We are very solid but I know this could lead to a few bumps in the road….we have had a couple of conversations about it all but I don’t think he has been totally honest with himself and where he’s at hence not totally honest with me….
        I know the only reason I have coped so well this time is because I was ready so I know any attempts to try and get him to change will be fruitless…. So like the others said its one day at a time and focus on what I need to do….

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    Thanks for all your advice…”it’s not about the drinking” really hit home. I think he thinks it will be boring if I don’t drink…I have to get out of that mentality.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    Lol its hard

  • I need some advice. Me and my bf are going camping. He’s a big drinker. It’s just gonna be me and him. I DON’T want to drink. I need some help

    • Get rid of boyfriend. not drinking is better.

      • Haha well that is one option..get rid of the bf but does he know how his drinking will unsetle you? Take lots of af drinks, herbal teas. Hey honestly I have enjoyed going away on trips so much better minus the drink. Especially around natiure. Just soak it up and be still with it. Its amazing when you try.

        • What does he drink? Could he take something you don’t like? I don’t like beer. Waste of calories and no buzz. Have a chat. He must know AF is important to you. Tell him to take well I dunno Mixers? And of course you take the yummiest non boozy thing. My pure grape juice and soda H2O hits the spot and hey enjoy the weekend. It’s not about the booze right? Xx

        • And this is from the hubby cause I read out some things right? Quote. If he loves you he wouldn’t take booze you like. Some young guys don’t think. Unquote. Xx

      • Lol its hard

    • Thanks for all your advice…”it’s not about the drinking” really hit home. I think he thinks it will be boring if I don’t drink…I have to get out of that mentality.

    • If you are newly sober and it’s going to be difficult not to drink then I suggest not going. No use throwing yourself into the fire that you are trying to put out.

      • Wow interesting question…. I see you’ve been alcohol free for a lot longer than me, so I’ll be interested to know how you handle this trip…. my hubby drinks a lot too…. but he is very supportive of what I’m doing and doing what he can to make it work….
        Meanwhile I’m discovering for the first time since I ever started drinking that all these events CAN be fun and in fact they are more fun because of my awareness and because alcohols not interrupting it….

    • Don’t drink.
      It will probably be really hard, you will probably be extremely annoyed and agitated.
      However, going for long walks, heading to bed early, and finding something non alcoholic to drink will really help.
      The best thing will be waking up each morning feeling physically well and proud of yourself will make it all worth it.
      My husband was a big drinker when I first quit drinking last summer. I’ve been in your sober camping shoes.
      You can do this.

  • Donnamaree26 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    No he drinks at home. He doesn’t make me feel boring. I just feel like I’m boring and bored without drinking

    • Yip that’s how drinking makes us feel. Witty scintillating company. But that’s not true. We are boozy disinhibited emotional losers. With the guilts thrown in next day. The world is your oyster now @Donnamaree26. Stopping makes us feel flat and tired for a time but ride that part out, then find out what you might like to do with your new energy xx

    • That loose ends feeling is the pits, no doubt. I make my pot of hot tea, so I can have something to drink. I ask him lots of questions about his day and engage a lot that way. I try not to shade over into thinking ‘why can’t I drink, too.” My mind set is that drinking simply isn’t an option. So if I’m boring or in a down mood, I just have to ride it out. It does pass. Hang in there.

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