• Charmed posted an update 6 months, 1 week ago

    Day 11 here, the longest I’ve been AF in… I can’t even remember. Almost caved in on day 9, the urge was so strong. Really glad I didn’t. Went out for dinner last night with my husband and children. It was so nice to enjoy the evening and not be clock watching the whole time so I could get home and start drinking.

    • Hey that’s great, it’s hard to get past those urges and the first couple of weeks are tough in so many ways. You’re doing great. I so relate to enjoying time with family without clock watching and thinking of getting home to drink. Drinking and thinking about drinking takes up so much time, we have so much more of ourselves available for life when we’re AF. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Well done on resisting those urges, awesome stuff!

    • Yes, staying AF not only allows us to concentrate on those important to us, it encourages us to. Improves our relationships.

    • So cool! ❤️

    • Great to hear 🙌🏻 Well done

    • 11 days is such a great first step into this journey, go you!

    • Hi @Charmed – you can use the memory or your relief at not caving on day 9 to help you the next time that you feel tempted. Congratulations on day 11! It really does get a lot easier.

  • Hello all.had my last drink 21st june this year so however many days that is is how sober i am.been to a meeting today.saw all the differences and no similarities.thought someone shared and had a dig at me and was planning on never going back to aa and drinking next week.phoned my old sponser( think hes probly my new one too now).he made me see its just my head .my alcoholism wanting me away from recovery and on the piss.im going to another meeting tomorrow and hopefully will be in a different frame of mind

    • That’s really great that instead of giving in to that little voice trying to lure you away from sobriety you called someone you knew could help and give some insight. Good for you! And it’s 11 days sober. Start counting!

    • Good one hang in there that was pretty strong of you not to give in. Hope tomorrow’s meeting is better

    • Well done on taking these active steps. It’s hard, give yourself credit for that!
      I hung up on the receptionist at least 5 times before talking to her and making a first appointment with my therapist. It takes guts. oxoxo

      • Thanks mari.this shit is hard.i had therapy a year ago and it was the best thing i could have done.well done for making your appointment

  • Passed my 1 year on Wednesday. Drinking held me back so much. Alcohol only causes misery. This has been an enlightening year.
    There aren’t enough hours in the day. I have pride in myself and confidence. No shame or guilt anymore. Loving life. Thankyou living sober for helping me.

  • Mrs D posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    I know this has been mentioned by others on here but I recommend this 36 minute video chat on mindfulness for addiction.. it’s Melli the Australian woman who ran the Mindfulness Summit last year interviewing Dr Judson Brewer who is an expert on cravings and the human brain and behaviour and he has practical tips on how to break the habit/loop cycle (that us boozers are locked into when regularly drinking). Worth a watch and not too long! http://themindfulnesssummit.com/sessions/mindfulness-for-addiction-judson-brewer/?utm_source=The+Mindfulness+Summit&utm_campaign=8ea1c64d2a-Addictions_Video_Judson_Brewer_2016_06_16&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f5531060c6-8ea1c64d2a-105967921

  • janus2 posted an update 3 years, 2 months ago

    3rd days no frikn tears- a little xcited bout that,hoping it keeps lifting. Didn’t wake having those foul thoughts,another bonus!:-) was going to go for cycle but know I will go for swim so today I think that’s enough!
    Anywhoo am off to walk fatbum feel tad guilty as gave her a right bollocking as she was so annoying, but really keeping eye on me. Have fab day all-if not keep on trucking.xo

  • I had one of those drinking dreams people have talked about.I woke up absolutely horrified.Basically I was tied up and forced to drink.I suppose it’s kinda good that I didn’t drink of my own accord..At the moment i absolutely would not touch a drink willingly.I hope I never let that shit into my life again.

  • 55 day’s. Couldn’t bring myself to go tonight to catch up with a old mate. We use to get silly trashed every time we were together. I know this person is happy and proud of my sobriety but see it such a high risk for me I just couldn’t go. Tbh I don’t think I can hang out with the old crowd it’s not like we were always in contact. I need to look forward with these sober buddies I’ve made in AA . I really can’t afford to go backwards and to be put in these familiar situations with these old faces.

    • Please be honest with your old mate. Hopefully he/ she will understand your situation . But of course it’s up to you.

    • I know this feeling very well! I’ve started suggesting day-dates with friends, going for long walks or cinema or shopping etc – instead of meeting up in the evening with seemingly nothing to do except drink… Good luck with your sobriety!

    • If you think it’s high risk, it’s high risk babes. Good decision.

    • You made a good decision. Be honest with your friend, perhaps you will plant a seed of sobriety somewhere.

    • Completely understandable decision, and I would have done the same.

  • cherie posted an update 3 years, 5 months ago

    So much for regular posts! That fizzed out in one go. Been back boozing again when found out was being made redundant. My last day was yesterday so today is day 1 again (I have lost count how many times I have started over). Start a new job on Monday must pull myself together. Off overseas in 7 weeks it would be nice to be sober for that. Just concentrate on today me thinksโ˜บ

    • Hi and welcome back @cherie
      Keep on trying cos when you “get it” it is truly the best way to live. I had hundreds of day ones before I succeeded in ditching the wine, but I know now I could NEVER go back to that awful way of a boozing life. You can do this ๐Ÿ™‚ xxxxx

    • Nice to see you sgain, good attitude, keep it up.

    • I’ve lost count of how many Day 1s I’ve had, but I’m really determined that I’m never having another one. I’ve gone beyond ‘nice to be sober’ to accepting that alcohol literally poisons my life. Like @Jules I never want to go back to the nightmare of a life soaked in booze.

  • Mrs D posted an update 3 years, 6 months ago

    Last night I went to a girlfriend’s house for ‘pudding club’ which is just a group of local mums from the school who take turns hosting and making pudding for each other! I don’t know any of them that well but it’s a good opportunity to mingle with other mums in the neighbourhood. Everyone else has a casual drink or two – no-one is terribly boozy. Last night I wasn’t so keen because I am being very very good on the sugar front lately.. but I ate the small portion of passionfruit & white chocolate mousse and it was delish! Actually more troubling was the huge glass of pink fizzy cordial I was given. The hostess had been very nice to think of me and get me something treaty and non-alcoholic but I would have FAR rather had just a glass of water!! This is a first for me – I seriously considered just asking for a glass of water.. think I might do that in future. Not a huge dilemma but these are the things that are occurring for me in my sober life nowadays. xx

    • I thought I was the only one this happens too! For the drinkers there are always so many choices available, but when you are the token non-drinker it feels like you are insulting the hostess if you don’t drink whatever pink sweet yucky stuff they have there ‘just for you’. I handed the last one off to my three year old granddaughter and she wouldn’t drink it either ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Oh that’s good to hear @quietlydone.. I agree it’s the concern about insulting the hostess and maybe on some occasions I’ll turn it down and on some not. Last night I don’t know her very well so it was probably right to say ‘thanks’ and take it .. but I could have had just a third of it and left the rest and that would have been ok… would it?? (or is that just as insulting??) For fucks sake it’s my body I choose what to put in it!! Ridiculous..

    • I tried a bottle of alcohol free champagne last night @Mrs-D (at a fancy celebration and I brought it in case I felt the need to have it) – I drank part of a glass and tossed the rest and filled up a glass of iced tea – it was much better ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Oooooh pudding club sounds fabulous! I would’ve definitely OD’d on sugar if I’d been there! @mrs-d you were very disciplined xxx

    • I love a good can of fizzy drink – I don’t care about the cals.

  • Hi all. Lovely to read every bodies posts. Such brave people here on this site. Today I have to sit in front of a council and admit to my drinking days. Several months ago when my partners ex wife and adult daughters found out I had issues with alcohol they decided it was the perfect opportunity to try and get rid of me. They have accused me of something I never did and now I have to sit in front of a room full of strangers and defend myself. When I first found this out I almost gave up on trying to remain sober and myself. But as my parents said…that’s what they want you to do. I have had this hanging over my head for a couple of months and at times it has almost been unbearable to carry on. But I have…..with a few slip ups on the way. I sit here this morning doubting myself. Thinking maybe I deserve this, all the thoughts that used to fuel my drinking have come back. I feel sick to my stomach and am shaking with nerves……….BUT I’m determined no matter what the outcome today I am not going to seek comfort in a wine bottle. I’m not going to let it win. I am sober. I’m not hungover. The one thing I can control today is whether I drink or not. Anyway my fingers are shaking with nerves typing this. I best go jump in the shower and get this day done. F##K. Is a word that comes to mind. Much love to everyone xx

    • wow good luck to you and whatever happens today will fade as time goes by, unlike your sobriety and sense of self-worth and pride which will grow and grow and grow. No-one can take that away from you xxx

    • Good luck today @butterflybecky. You sound very brave and strong… I like your comment about choosing to drink today is the one thing you can control. You are right and I need to remind myself of how good that control feels. Xx

    • Sending you much strength today, please know we are all with you, holding your hand!

    • Sending a big virtual hug your way!!

    • Best luck for you today Becky, just be yourself and tell the truth and your character and honesty and integrity will shine through. What you need today is faith in yourself. You matter. I’m pretty sure this will turn out way better than expected. Big hugs and much encouragement coming your way. Let us know later how you get on xoxoxo

    • This is probably too late, so sent a text. The Council will see a beautiful, humble, serious woman before them, and know you are truthful, and being attacked. Sending prayers – thank goodness it will be over soon XXXXXX

      • Yes thank goodness it will be over soon. Thankyou all for your kind supportive loving words. I have managed to work myself into a frenzy of self doubt and dislike. But have to pull myself together, put my big girl pants on. I don’t want to fall apart in front of them. I will let you know how I get on. Xxx

        • That’s the way @butterflybecky Nothing to be gained by falling to bits in front of them, and everything to gain in terms of self respect and self esteem by breathing steadily and facing this with dignity and courage. It will be behind you so quickly, take care.

        • This moment will pass and you will have been honest, strong, and present. Take care x

    • Just adding my little piece of support and standing with you today @butterflybecky! May every exact right word that you need to say to convince others of you correctness come out of your mouth – hugs XXX

    • good good luck – with council and family. Hope it’s not the Nursing Council.

    • Best of luck @butterflybecky I can’t believe what they are putting you through – just remember you’re brilliant

  • Morning team. Just waiting for a phone call then I run up to the end of the street and jump on board with Dave, who is towing the 23 ft Zephyr caravan with shower and toilet and we are going to put it on a small section where some people are going to be building a house in a few months and need to live there in the meantime. It’s a real tricky one and my normal delivery driver refused to do it, so good old Dave to the rescue. I am so grateful to have such an awesome guy working for me, he is so fabulous, he is 74 now and he’ll have a crack at anything, and he doesn’t give up until he succeeds. He’s full of humour too so we have a good time working together.
    Didn’t sleep well at all, so got up at 6am and washed my hair and have prepared a beef vindaloo from scratch, and put it in the slow cooker. My friend Jane is coming up for the night and we are going to plan out road trip that we are taking in March. Hey @Gilbert I reckon you should ask for a discount for that noisy fridge, shouldn’t happen in a posh hotel. Glad ya all enjoyed it and safe travels home. When I got dressed this morning I hadn’t opened the curtains. I look very nice in my grey linen shorts and greyish silk top and necklace and little pink linen shirt undone over it, and my black diamonte jandals. Hahaha it’s raining!! What a dick! Too bad I haven’t got time to change now and my guess is that at about 3 or 4 pm I shall be very pleased with my choice. Anyway caravan dramas is not what I really needed for this Sunday morning but such is the reality of my life, now that I am not swanning around the Bay of Plenty with my fabulous little buddy and her famdamily. Give the piss a miss everyone hahaha happy daze xoxo

  • Timeisnow2016 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 7 months ago

    And would go to a different supermarket each time too! In case the cashiers realised how often I was buying wine.. Sad!

  • morgan posted an update 3 years, 8 months ago

    Marc and Angel do it again – very New Year, but good:

    “Are you tired of dealing with the same type of headaches and heartaches over and over and over again?

    Seriously, itโ€™s time to purge some bad habits as we head into 2016. Itโ€™s time to learn from your mistakes rather than be conquered by them, and let your errors be of commission rather than omission.

    Remember, you ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits arenโ€™t helping you, theyโ€™re hurting you. Here are four of the most common examples of the latter that stole happiness from hundreds of our coaching clients in 2015:

    1. Putting up with the same exact daily displeasures.
    – Donโ€™t live with the disappointment; live beyond it. You cannot stop what has already happened, but you can let it make you stronger and more determined.
    The journey to spiritual maturity requires that you review the events in your life to find the wisdom and purpose they contain. A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and old hurts you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out โ€“ โ€œENOUGH!โ€ This moment is the turning point that leads to success and happiness. So as we near the New Year, close the door on your past, open the door to your future, take a deep breath, take a step forward, and start a new chapter in your life. (from the โ€œAdversityโ€ chapter of our book)

  • Morning @Prudence @DryDash @Quietlydone @Mac007 @soberlynn @Tryingagain2505 @madandsad @morgan @SueK @hetiheti @aldog @ShelleyT @Janus2 @hilux @Watergirl @Arianne @PJNT @butterfat @Jessi @twdillon @Jasminasper @Nugget @Inthegarage66 @Colourful1 and @Mrs-D
    and equally everyone else…just saying hi really… I’ve had a few meltdowns recently but have managed to stay sober… not too worried about Christmas per se but never know when the booze bug will bite… I am comitted to getting to the two year mark on March 8th… even if I have to crawl
    across broken glass to get there… hope you’re all well and continue to the fight the good fight… no matter how hard life gets it was always worse when drinking….

    • Hey lovely, thanks for the shout-out (!!) it is really, really good to hear from you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Just passed my year mark, coming up to second Xmas sober; been having a few of my anxiety issues too recently, crap ey?!

      Not long till your 2 years and have no doubt you will get there x

    • I don’t foresee crawling for you actually, in my crystal ball I see you striding into Year 2 with renewed confidence and proud plans for the future.
      (On that note, have you checked out solutions? Anxiety is hell, you truly do not have to endure attack after attack. Bossy me, but caring XXX worried)
      Take care XXXXX

    • Hey Gidday! I agree with @morgan, but I see you dancing to Natalie Merchant into your bright future!

    • Hi @behind-the-sofa – it’s great to hear from you. When you say melt downs, are they from anxiety or from ” shit that life throws at us” melt downs? I have quite a few of those myself!
      Yep, we are fighting the good fight – not always easy at all, but we are doing it, some of us without any slips. I’ve had a few slips but get back on the horse. Know I can’t go back to the state I was in xxx

    • Hi @behind-the-sofa. March 8 will be my one year mark and I know we will both be congratulating each other on that day.

    • Hello my friend, still here, 28 days behind you on the path! Keep that lamp lit up ahead for me please!
      Sorry to read there have been meltdowns for you, you ok? How can we help?

    • Glad to hear you’re going along ok @behind-the-sofa – are you checking into new jobs yet? Or waiting until after Christmas? I’m not too worried about Christmas drinks either – March is my D-Day time too (15th) – we’ll see then which direction I head in. Have a great one ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Hey, great to be mentioned, so drew my attention to the post. I have wondered how things have gone gor you, what with not cooking at the pub(I think)?2 years coming up is pretty admirable as I know there have bee ups and downs . I have just over 500 days in the counter,suits me just fine. Aldog old name and Ali now, which doesn’t work on mentions so glad you knew. Merry Christmas, well done and keep in touch.

    • XXXโค

    • Hey Tom, it always brightens my day when you pop into it…..specially when you even mention me! This is a time of year when those of us who don’t suffer anxiety get anxious!! I hope you can spend some days st the beach or in the forest or somewhere beautiful in nature, as that is the surest way I know to release some stress. Hugs and a happy Xmas to you xo

    • Good to hear from you @behind-the-sofa Those meltdowns are a bugger eh? I always thought when I grew up, it would all be sorted. Guess what – I’m 61 and still getting my act together. You’re doing so well re not drinking – my god, 2 years in March. My 2 years will be June. Funny thing, the further I get down the road of not drinking, the more alert I have become to the possiblity of “failing” I was more confident in my first few months for some reason. Thanks for the reminder that “however hard life gets – it was always worse when drinking” That mantra can get a bit lost along the way as time passes…………….

    • Hey great to hear from you – I changed my name but from pjnt to rsw but still the same ole grumpy me. Great to hear you are going well – hang on in there

    • Awwwww hello! I’m heading to my 365 in a great hurry….mainly to see whether I stay stone cold sober or try moderating! Watch this space! Take care, be kind to yourself xx

    • Gidday my friend, @behind-the -sofa nice to see you and say helloooo too.
      Meltdowns are a true test, aren’t they! But you are awesome, blazing this trail for the many of us, and right from the start of our joining this site!! Leave the melt down thoughts behind the sofa, and jump up and down on the sofa. Turn up the music and Dance like nobody is watching!
      Have a lovely christmas my friend xox

    • Happy to walk, crawl, snake slither along the ground of broken (beer and wine bottle) glass with you @behind-the-sofa any day mate. You have always been one of my site heroes I followed from the early days. Bit concerned about your choice of football team, but maybe we can join you in relegation battle next week ๐Ÿ™ Meet me for a coffee next time I am in town and we can tell those meltdowns to go and fark right off. Cheers buddy

    • Hi there to you as well – and I agree with you – whatever is wrong booze will just make it worse – hang in there – we with you all the way xx

  • Noelle posted an update 3 years, 8 months ago

    Hi everyone. Everything is ok with me . Been keeping within the recommended guidelines for wine per week but like everyone on here has said, it’s exhausting . I’m seriously thinking about cutting ot wine completely and going AF ( I can hear the cheers from here !! ) however part of me says to get Xmas over with first .
    A funny thing happened on Saturday night. Hubby and I and 3 other couples meet regularly at one of our houses for dinner and this time it was at one of our friends places. It was BYO so I estimated that I would have 2 glasses of wine so I diligently poured 2 glassful a into an empty wine bottle and took that. Hubby doesn’t drink so he took his lemonade. When we got there everyone got out their drinks and and it ended up that I was the only one drinkng wine this time ! WTF ? Usually everyone except hubby drinks. Ummm well I was a bit shocked so I had one glass and tipped the rest out . So everyone if hubby doesn’t drink and my best friends don’t either, there’s no excuse then is there ??!!!

    • I tell you Noelle, this is one of the things that is freaking me out! So many people don’t drink!!! I was with a team of about 30 on one of our OneSight trips recently and we all sat down to dinner in the Mt Isa pub and NOT ONE person ordered an alcoholic drink! It was a 40C day! Not even one beer! It was most disconcerting – hahaha.

    • Haha @Noelle – looks like all the signs are pointing in one direction ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • ‘Sober is the new Black’ – all the cool people… as MrsD would say