• DennyD posted a new activity comment 2 hours, 36 minutes ago

    Thats it you have inspired me to go for my walk in the morning…thanks

  • Day 22
    i did not drink yesterday and I will not drink today.
    Not sleeping well but I think that has more to do with the grief and stress of my Dad being sick than being AF.
    We have made the decision that he needs to go in to care and have found a bed for him in a facility about 20mins from me.
    For some reason I always thought he would skip this part of life but alas not to be.
    I know in my heart that this is easier being sober and my self cares are helping but it does hurt.
    On the plus side it is so great to have our little grandsons in our lives as they truly brings such joy and and love and my dad gets to share that as well.
    have a great day tomorrow lovely peeps.

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 2 hours, 46 minutes ago

    I agree just loved the after life just about rolled off the sofa laughing about the Rice puddings episode

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 2 hours, 49 minutes ago

    Thanks for that @enzedgirl its such a sobering post and so so brave of you to write it. I feel sad just thinking about my negative list but what I keep at the forefront of my mind is me lying on the sofa drunk raving on and on about the same old things. I felt such an ugly ugly person the next morning and i never ever want to be that person again. The positives by far outweigh the negatives

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 8 hours, 45 minutes ago

    I must go back and read that list. Love the quote @daveh

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 8 hours, 46 minutes ago

    You are a star ms kitten, well done you

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 8 hours, 47 minutes ago

    You’ve done so well. Congratulations on day 35 you have definitely grown some sober muscles, you should be very proud xx

  • DennyD posted an update 1 day, 3 hours ago

    Day21
    I did not drink yesterday and I will not drink today.
    Hubster and I were chatting today about this site and the support i get from it and often just the reassurance that where I’m at is normal. He brought up how much less money we are spending and he said he’s not having to top up our living expenses account like he was. I was blown away as I’d never really noticed. $315 minimum saved over the last 3 weeks! What a lot of money just wasted over the years. I guess this is where I’m at and it’s only the future I can influence now. Monday tomorrow have a good one everyone.

    • 3 weeks of being your own true self – go you! My sober calculator thingy tells me I’ve saved just under $20,000 – dam I wish I knew where that was right now haha

    • Hi @dennyd … Clap clap clap …. bravo!!!! 3 full weeks!! Isn’t it marvelous?? Once you get past the first shitty days – the world just opens up! And it even starts dumping money in your piggy bank! In my experience, the best is yet to come. Don’t think about the money wasted – look forward to the happy treats to come. Happy week 3!

    • Doing so well @dennyd.. and the savings are an eye opening aren’t they.. well done to you x

    • I love to keep tally of saved money, but also calories. I figured I drank about 600 calories a night. Those numbers add up crazy fast.

  • DennyD posted an update 3 days, 4 hours ago

    Day 19
    I did not drink yesterday and I will not drink today.
    I had a “fuck it” moment this afternoon and considered buying a bottle of wine.
    Thankfully I have some Kombucha at home in the fridge and that was enough.
    I realised I didn’t really want alcohol what I wanted was a drink as I was thirsty.
    looking forward to the weekend, no alarm clock tomorrow.
    Have a great weekend everyone especially AF

    • Well done !! Day 7 here, due to a “fuck it “ moment last Friday that resulted in wine bought at the supermarket and a massive hangover last Saturday. I am so looking forward to sleeping well tonight and waking up hangover free tomorrow. Although have a head cold so won’t feel great. Anything beats a hangover though . Kombucha is great huh. Have a great weekend too!

    • Great save! ❤️

    • You just built some huge sober muscles!

    • Well done you. Always have a yum AF drink handy and yum snacks in the early days. They can be all the difference in feeding your brain and stopping that ‘fuck it’ thought growing into actions.
      Very proud of you!

    • Excellent awesome and all the way around pretty freaking good work!! Love that HALT tool. Works for me every time. Things started to settle for me around where you are now. Hang in – things keep changing for the better every day. You’re doing great!

    • @dennyd well done. Kombucha is a great alternative. Yummy AF drinks are my saving grace!

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 3 days, 6 hours ago

    Thanks @leslielily and @ladyhawke. The family meeting was sad watching Dad trying to understand and assimilate all the information given to him. We now have to find a rest home for him to go to. It would all be so much harder if I was drinking.

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 4 days, 13 hours ago

    sleep tight you will have the strength to have that discussion xx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 4 days, 13 hours ago

    I agree leslielily the second week is harder than that first one. Hang tight you’ve got this 🙂

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 4 days, 13 hours ago

    Yay yay yay for you ladyhawke kudos to you for all the hard work you have put in to get where you are today.xx

  • DennyD posted an update 4 days, 13 hours ago

    Day 17
    I did not drink yesterday and I certainly will not drink today.
    Its a lovely day here sunny and cool but then it is the middle of winter.
    The huge diesel generator that had been chugging away in the background since sunday has just stopped.
    Oh bliss its quiet.
    The new transformer should be connected up today and we will be back on the main grid.
    I’m feeling quite tired but I know this is normal for where I’m at. I will do some mediations later today and I think that will help with my stress and send me to sleep quicker.
    Can’t believe how quickly the days count UP
    Oh well off to the hospital to see my old dad and attend a family meeting to decide his future, can’t say I’m looking forward to it.
    Would love to bring him home to me but not practical as we have stairs with very dodgy rails that there is no simple fix.
    Have a great day.
    See you tomorrow

    • Hope all goes well with your dad x

    • @DennyD Hope your family meeting was productive, it’s unfortunate he can’t come home with you <3 I also did not drink yesterday and will not drink today. Have a wonderful evening!

      • Thanks @leslielily and @ladyhawke. The family meeting was sad watching Dad trying to understand and assimilate all the information given to him. We now have to find a rest home for him to go to. It would all be so much harder if I was drinking.

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 4 days, 13 hours ago

    Good on you. I am a day ahead at day 17. Immerse yourself in work and don’t give in.

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 4 days, 13 hours ago

    Yep I agree stop the inner turmoil and make the decision to drive.

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 5 days, 8 hours ago

    Thanks @leslielily I so appreciate your insight and I’m so glad you have your mother in law. My daughter had pulled me up about my drinking in the past (very brave of her I must admit) but it has taken time to get to the point where I was able to pull myself out of that stuck pattern and move forward. I hope this happens for your parents to. xx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 5 days, 8 hours ago

    Thank you @enzedgirl you have made my day. Big hugs to you

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 5 days, 8 hours ago

    I would have loved my father in law to have been sober. I may then have known him as the man he was rather than the drunken old fool that he became. It wasn’t until he was dying and I nursed him that the both of us got to truly see who each other was and actually liked and understood what we saw. i’m grateful that at least I got that opportunity. Your daughters in law are very lucky to have you @tom4500

  • DennyD posted an update 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Day 17
    I did not drink yesterday and I will not drink today.

    Yesterday I went to a funeral for a friends old Dad who i’d known for nearly 40 years.
    I never thought of him as a big drinker and had certainly never seen him drunk.
    During the euology alcohol came up often and repeatedly… he liked his sav blanc, merlot and of course followed by a favourite single malt.
    2 of his four children are alcoholics one is barely functioning and the other is miserable and making everyone else’s lives miserable as well.
    It really got me thinking about the role alcohol played in his life and what effect that had on the children growing up.

    The other evening my daughter came home with her toddler who was grizzly and about to loose the plot.
    I could see she was tired and struggling.
    I picked young toddler up and soon had him playing and laughing so my daughter could relax and catch her breath.
    When she went off to put him to bed she gave me a kiss and said ” you know what mum? you are just so wonderful”
    That never would have happened had I been halfway through my usual bottle of chardonnay.
    Goodbye drunk Nanna Hellooooo AF Nanna…….. apparently you are wonderful.

    Have a great day

    • I’m really sorry for your friend’s loss, and that this father’s legacy is one of alcohol abuse. Makes me so sad.
      Your story will turn out so much different AF – there is NOTHING better than a Nanna! As a young mum, my father’s mother is like a guardian angel to me. She is always there and present for my kids, who absolutely adore her. She is patient and grounded and the things that make me crazy that my kids do seem not to phase her at all.

      My own mother, though she would not admit it, has problems moderating her wine drinking. She is often cranky and impatient, and she and my father both seem to be high functioning alcoholics who would never admit they have a problem. Nobody sees this, but I lived with them for two years just before my children were born and the amount of wine they went through shocked me (not that I wasn’t also drinking… I just didn’t realize they drank so much too!) They are not in good health and I truly worry about them. Thinking about the pattern they are stuck in is just another motivator to me to not end up that way, but I do mourn the impact it has on their grand children that they do not even seem to realize – I’m SO glad you are there for your daughter and grandchild, it is such a huge blessing to have that as a young, tired mom.

      • Thanks @leslielily I so appreciate your insight and I’m so glad you have your mother in law. My daughter had pulled me up about my drinking in the past (very brave of her I must admit) but it has taken time to get to the point where I was able to pull myself out of that stuck pattern and move forward. I hope this happens for your parents to. xx

    • You know, I’ve often said that daughters in law like sober fathers in law. I’m sure that my daughters in law appreciate that I stopped drinking. Not just because they feel safer dropping the young grandchildren off, but I also sense that they see it as a good example for my sons. Nobody is obligated to drink anymore.

      • I would have loved my father in law to have been sober. I may then have known him as the man he was rather than the drunken old fool that he became. It wasn’t until he was dying and I nursed him that the both of us got to truly see who each other was and actually liked and understood what we saw. i’m grateful that at least I got that opportunity. Your daughters in law are very lucky to have you @tom4500

      • @Tom4500 you are 100% right. My father-in-law is not sober and he is the only grandparent I will not leave my grandchildren with. It really makes me sad because he is wonderful with them when we visit, and you can see how much he loves them. My husband and his sister often talk about what an amazing father he was growing up in spite of his drinking issues. It’s too bad that gets in the way of him getting the chance to spend more time with them.

    • I know from just meeting you once that you are wonderful – a lovely, warm, wonderful, wise woman ❤️

      What a precious, priceless moment with your daughter 💕

    • What a lovely lovely post. So happy for you.

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    You did great it must have been very challenging with all that drinking going on. I’m not a great golfer but I always found my golf was much better if I didn’t drink the night before. Better concentration and better putting. Well done you 🙂

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Oh Ro families can be tough and I really feel for you about your son. Hopefully time will bring him around. Have a great day. I SUCK at yoga

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Hi missbennett i’m on day 17 and my goal is to check in and post every day at least until day thirty. It really does help. I missed yesterday but not because I was drinking. Good luck xx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    You to Ro is it xray day for you? Good luck x

  • DennyD posted an update 1 week ago

    Day 15
    I did not drink yesterday and I will not drink today.
    Gosh beginning week 3 I feel like I’ve made huge progress.
    Another great night’s sleep even with a big generator growling away outside (some major power outage I our street)
    Feet to the floor dennyd and get on with the day.
    Go well everyone.
    A big collective welcome to all new members…. make it work for you hang on tight and be strong

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Welcome what a great start to your week. You’ll find lots of support here. Post or lurk whatever works for you

    • Lady4 replied 1 week ago

      Thanks Denny. Just fixed the typo in my profile – meant to say ‘mum’ not ‘nun’. Haha

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Welcome aboard it’s a great place to be 🤗

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Great advice thanks 🤗

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    You are on your way whoop whoop

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    100 days well done 🥳

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Morning you sound like you’re in such a great place mentally and physically. I guess we can only learn from the past make peace with it and move on. Well done you on day 35 🤩

    • Thank you, you have just hit the nail on the head, make peace with the past….that is something I have never ever come to terms with. There’s my project. Anyone out there with ideas on how to make peace with the past?

  • DennyD posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    Day 14
    I did not drink yesterday and I will not drink today.
    What a lovely weekend its been very chilly thats for sure.
    Thanks @enzedgirl for arranging Auckland catch up today.
    It was lovely to meet you and the other inspiring members. So positive and so good to meet new people. Already looking forward to August meeting.
    I feel in such a good place to manage this next week when decisions will have to be made re my fathers welfare.
    Have a great week everyone

    • Whoop whoop 2 weeks and starting out on week 3. Well done you. Stay a step ahead with healthy snacks on hand and some yummy AF drinks so if the cravings creep up on you, you can put healthy stuff in your gob, not crappy life stealing booze xo

    • Great to meet you to DennyD 😊😊😊 it was a very nice get together xxx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    good job @seabass

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Love your post thanks x

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Me I’m putting my hand up….I woke up this morning determined to just do it. I so relate to being hindered by fear but I’m not going to let that stop me!

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thanks for the recommendation I 2 will be dialling up

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Ladies and Gentlemen a round of applause please for malibuStacey for her amazing achievement of 400 AF days xx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Great to meet you today at lunch and lovely to see your post 🙂 xx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Such bliss

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You are so right and thanks

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thanks xx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thanks @kitten it’s amazing how much more can be achieved AF

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Yes its working for me at the moment, going forward making progress

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thanks it has been awesome 😉

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Well done @dorothyparker I intially joined around the same time as you but have been on and off and how now finally recommitted. Great post and well done on your 100 days

  • DennyD posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    Day 13
    I didn’t drink yesterday and I have not drunk today.
    Having a lively weekend. My friend arrived with her 4 students. 3 Italian and 1 Chinese girl. They are such fun. So much laughter and energy and all AF.
    We made a lovely dinner and I even made a lovely lemon cake. Had I been drinking I would never have gotten around to that!
    Also getting back in to my long walks and feeling so much better. Great excitement….I had a whole night’s sleep last night 😴😴😴 felt so good waking up this morning
    Have a great weekend everyone

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    It’s great to have found fellow knitters @noodle71 @kitten @juliana and @teazy so rewarding and I don’t even think about alcohol xx

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Ha to it sounds like you’ve had quite an eventful knitting g career. I have found YouTube a great source of inspiration I getting me out of knitting pickles. Hope you’re feeling better xx

  • DennyD posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    One of the tools I use to get through the witching hour is knitting (I’ve never been a great knitter)
    Wow!
    I have finished at 2 little woollen vests for my grandsons, a cardy and hat for a charity and 2 other projects.
    Such a great tool for winter to keep my hands busy and mind off wine
    Happy Happy Happy

    • Knitting helped me when i quit smoking, its a great way to whittle away the time and make something creative

    • I love knitting! It has been an important tool in getting sober and also in coping with stress all my life. The best for me is making simple things when I have the patterns memorized. Socks are my specialty, also dish towels. I’ve just about saturated my family and friends with as many as they can use. I’m glad to find fellow knitters. I’m not sure why it is so calming, but it really helps me.

      • What the hell does a knitted dish towel do @juliana ? Dry the dishes or wipe the bench? My Nan was a great knitter-told me once she told me ten times- ‘ I learned to knit at kindy with 6 inch nails and string’ lol I’ve actually got her knitting needles. I’m a pretty useless knitter. I made a few things over the years. When I stopped smoking I knat a blanket I called the drunkie blankie cos I took up drinking at a great rate of knots while I was doing it to take my mind off the smoking. And then after I stopped drinking I decided to have another crack and had the knitting bag sitting on the floor under my chair, leapt up and impaled the sole of my foot. Had to pull the needle out. And yeah haven’t ever picked it up again lol and I can only really do purl and plain and I can’t fix mistakes. I wish I had you to show me

        • I wish I could knit with you @Ro and send you a knitted dish towel or 12. They are just ordinary kitchen towels made out of an inexpensive cotton with different patterns. I’ve never heard of a knitting injury before! Yikes, yours sounds painful! I hope your kids are OK. I know how hard it is. Maturing extends waaaay into the 20’s.

        • Ha to it sounds like you’ve had quite an eventful knitting g career. I have found YouTube a great source of inspiration I getting me out of knitting pickles. Hope you’re feeling better xx

    • I enjoy knitting as well. I cannot tell you how many times, i did not put in a life line, then had a beer or two, picked up knitting and completely lost so many hours of time. have fun. glad you are doing well.

    • Totally, love crochet myself, but so nice to switch off and be creative, that and music, tv or an audio book and I’m in heaven

    • Cute can just imagine those little woolly vests 🙂

  • DennyD posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Oh Ro
    you have such a lot to deal with.
    You may not have been present for you kids in the past but you are for them now in the biggest and best possible way.
    Most of us probably weren’t either and that is a tough thing to own
    After a tough and honest discussion with our troubled nephew one of the things he craves is that his parents own their failings in the past parenting (due to alcohol) .
    So good on you for recognising it, owning it and being there for them now. Some kids never get that!
    Let us know how you get on with tests.
    Thinking of you…stay strong like King Kong

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