My story? Hmm Just a self destructive soul with an addictive nature. Have found myself in trouble with all sorts of substances but those things fell away mostly once I became a parent. Then there was just the booze left. After years of beating myself up for overdoing it time and time again, lying awake in the early hours hating myself, struggling to remember what I had done, chronic blackout drinking, self esteem all shattered, I amazingly had the good sense to finally listen to that inner voice that told me it was time to quit. That was at the end of 2014 and I got to nearly 2 years sober when I stupidly decided that I could be a normal drinker. After a few months it became apparent (doh!) that this was not the case, so I have recommitted myself to sobriety and I'm so thankful to be back in the tribe.
Dear @timidwarrior, I just was scrolling through yesterdays posts and found yours. Thats a shitty night alright. Can you identify what was the real trigger I wonder? And then really all you can do is move on. Drink lots of water, have an early night, forget the study, just be kind to yourself. Thats all I can suggest. Just know everyone here feels…[Read more]
Hi @seedynomore! Let me be a reminder too cos I”m a bit allover the goat track as I got very comfortable with my sobriety, and BAM, so easily it can just go, and man it’s tricky to hold that traction again! I didn’t go to a birthday dinner the other night cos I had very little confidence in my ability to not drink (which = being grounded enough to…[Read more]
Just a quick morning check in for me – as is my new habit. I’ve been feeling so wiped lately. I had a sleep yesterday arvo, 2 little power naps actually. Followed by a horrific sleep last night. Never mind. Feeling positive this morning, feeling able to do whatever I set my mind to.About to jump into the shower then head to yoga, then when I get…[Read more]
Hi there. Bad sleeps can be so ruinous for the day, so amazing you are feeling positive!
I managed to reply to one post below, but not another, so here is a response to your drinking occasion post:
Sounds like a really good analysis of the situation – and definitely not a reason to be hard on yourself, rather, curious and continuing to be…[Read more]
It’s so lovely you get to meet up in person! The stuff that goes on here, what we say, is honest and amazing. I don’t talk my feelings out to anyone as much as I do here. @morgan, my oldest friend is just like yours – often leaves me “reeling”. I think it’s just because she knows another side and basically projects her stuff into me. Sees me t…[Read more]
It IS so strange the way some people simply cannot listen, or take in who we are after so many years. Sad. I have to hear hours of her ghastly times with her daughters, an work, knowing exactly what she is doing to cause it, but say nothing as she gets offended – all their fault ALWAYS. Interestingly, I know her childhood horror though she has…[Read more]
Lars let’s do it together! Don’t beat yourself up too much, there is no end destination with this path, it’s just each day, cheesy quote coming – “progress not perfection”. I seemed to just “forget”, and what I was doing previously was, as you said, the toolbox things – self care practice, checking in EVERY day, reading sober stuff. Keeping your…[Read more]
Hey there. So after 40 days sober, I went away for 4 nights and was feeling great, checking in, focused on my health and sobriety, then went to stay with a girlfriend on the last night and I did drink. I don’t know, did I not have a clear enough plan of how the night would go? Why didn’t I prepare myself properly? I don’t know. I had 5 drinks over…[Read more]
Yes you should be here , you desire to stop drinking . And that’s it . I know what you mean about finding it harder to stop . I have been there too . As i could go without , moderate and then after months BOOM , too much drinking . The important thing is your desir to want a life free of ethanol . Go girl . We are all rooting for you x
I get this @delgirl68, I felt the same thing too. It’s all learning and progress and you ARE changing your relationship to alcohol. Beating myself up just made it worse for me. I won’t drink with you today!
I get all anti-moderation and I’m a forever type, but that’s just me. Works very well for me, I’m happy with it. We’re all different, you deserve the same space here as any serious thinker about this, as you figure it all out. That’s my feeling on it. Doesn’t change my feelings about moderation, though.
With you on this @tom4500 just can’t make the moderation thing work so it forever af for me too.it does get harder as well each time you have to give it up which is another red flag re the misleading moderation rabbit hole. ❤️
@delgirl68 The exact same thing happened to me several times over the last few months. I was able to be moderate when I relapsed for a night at a time, but that didn’t change the feelings of guilt and self-loathing. Now I have 33 days and know I will be tempted again (monthiversaries seem to be my triggers!) so I’m more prepared for it. You’re…[Read more]
Hopping into bed with my herbal tea. Made it through – it was touch and go there for a bit earlier this evening, I am away on a “mini break” with my sister. Took a bit of talking to myself – coming in from that ledge I wanted to go over. But all good. Pheww. Need to be on my guard for the next few days. But like @MissFreedom below me has said, the…[Read more]
Wise. Yes, willpower will let us down according to research – our bank account runs out pretty quickly if used too much throughout the day. Neural change is really the only safe thing, and takes a lot of time which is hard for we impulsive types!
Have fun xxxxx
I went to a 50th birthday today. I was reluctant – it was a camping weekend. It was the birthday of one of my yoga teachers, so it wasn’t going to be a bender, but being around that many people, drinking just normally….felt pretty conflicted. It was actually my 12 year old that convinced me, as some of his mates would be there. So I took my…[Read more]
Love the esky/chilly bin thing…I remember all of those words from Australian English and miss being immersed in it. Sorry to hear about your sober hero lapsing….may it be a lapse and not a full on relapse. You’re a good person for wanting to reach out to him in peace and quiet, he may be more open then. oxxoxxo
Love the term chilly bin in south Africa we call it a cooler box. I love hearing different words used in different english speaking countries. A funny one I think unique to south Africa is we call traffic lights robots so if you’re ever here and someone says turn left at the robots you’ll know what they mean 😉 hope you manage to have a good chat…[Read more]
Sorry to hear re your sober role model drinking. I can see how that would rock you. And I think your idea of talking to him later about it is a good one. Be prepared, if he’s on his way back to drinking he might not want to talk to you about it 🙁
That is a lovely post after the way you have been feeling. Great news about the sleep too. Have you grabbed any other remedies? I read a great article on raising dopamine so will try and capture to post here – every new person should follow, and those of us who start to feel a bit meh
Just been driving home tonight listening to the news – I’m so saddened, and shocked. My prayers and thoughts are with all NZ’ers tonight , Im so sorry this has happened in your beautiful country. Love to you all xxx
*So when I lie in bed at night and can’t sleep, I try and switch my thoughts back to look for things to be grateful for. To switch off from the shite that usually floats in my head.
*I found this good app called “Calm”. I signed up kind of accidentally the other night – you get 7 days trial for free and after that they hit you up for a year $70.…[Read more]
30 das done and dusted high five!!! oxxox Love the sleeping help strategies there. I found that moderate physical exercise also helps. Puts my body and brain into an exhausted state so that sleep beats thinking, as I tend to overthink and ruminate.
Thanks for sharing this! Now I REALLY want some lavender tea tonight myself! Nom!
Insomnia – sounds awful though I rarely have experienced it. Have you tried the soporific Tara Brach late at night? or in the too, too early morning? She does it for me every time, but then, I am a sleeper from way back – sorry, not meaning to rub it in your poor tired faces @Ellislou and Delgirl
My mum has it too, she’s in a care facility down in Sydney – 4 hours away. I try and visit once a month or 2 but geez it’s awful. We were very lucky, it was a very smooth transition, moving her in there (not for my sister and I though). Funny this came up cos I was just thinking about mum tonight while I was cooking dinner. I thought I’d love to…[Read more]
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